DOG: Post Game Comments BAL (1)

ShitBird (Suckus Cockus Footballus)

A football game is 60 minutes long. It is not 58:45. I suggest that someone remind Mike Tomlin of this fact so he can instruct himself, his staff, and team accordingly.

What we saw yesterday was a team so elated to have stopped the Shitbirds 4 times inside their 10 yard line that they forgot to play the rest of the game. The offense committed two penalties and could only gain 3 yards in 3 tries when a first down would have sealed the game. Then the defense played 10 yard cushions on the Baltimore WRs giving them the out pattern which #1 stops the clock (for the Shitbirds had no timeouts) and #2 and most idiotically, it is the only damn pattern Joe Flacco can throw successfully!!!

Plenty of blame to go around for this one so let's get started:

• Jeff Reed misses two FGs both in the open end. Unacceptable. Got to make at least 1.
• Charlie Batch, despite trying hard was miserably piss-poor for much of the day.
• James Farrior still looking for his jockstrap after biting on McGay-He's fake at the 7.
• LeBeau needs to stop using the Prevent in the 4tgh qtr. It prevented us from winning last year and prevented us from winning yesterday.
• Arians, what in the hell was Arnaz Battle doing at WR in a critical 3rd and long in the 4th qtr? He is the worst WR on the team and yet was thrown to! Amazing.
• Where was Woodley? Did he go to Ben's house to watch the game?
• Pass rush was nonexistent. At least I know where Harrison was. Getting held by Oher on every play except the ones Oher false started on which apparently everyone on TV saw and 50,000 people where I was.
• Troy Polamalu was alarmingly quiet for such an important early season game.
• When Ike Taylor makes an interception we need to get points off of it. More passes clank off his stone hands than enough. Finally he makes a play and we get zilch.
• Still A. Fan with his negative thoughts saying "I've got a bad feeling about this one" when the Shitbirds had the ball at midfield and a minute on the clock. Negative thoughts yield negative vibes and negative vibes yield negative results.

It's not the end of the world. And I didn't get a sense at the stadium that anybody else thought so either. We're 3-1 without Big Ben. Many thought we'd be 2-2 at best. We can win without Ben. We cannot win a championship without him. So I welcome him back. I got my ticket punched for the Big Ben FU Revenge Tour 2010 starting in 2 weeks. Everybody get on board that train. Too late for the bandwagon but you can still catch the train.

Who ride? We all ride this time, baby!!

DOG: Post Game Comments TB

Batch Processing in Real Time!

3 and 0 without Big Ben. Homestead Charlie got off to a rocky start only to have one of his best days as a Steeler today. Among a whole bunch of guys who were outstanding, I'm picking Charlie Batch as my feature player this week. But there's lots to mention this week and most of it is good, as it tends to be during wins. Here We Go:

• Rashard Mendenhall has answered the bell. With defenses knowing we're going to run, Mendenhall has been putting up some very impressive numbers.
• People still complain about our offensive line. But by replacing 40% of it with Flozell Adams and Maurkice Pouncey there's marked improvement.
• There is no defensive back that can cover Mike Wallace on a deep pattern. Not even Darrelle Revis.
• The Keisel TD was a thing of beauty. You'll will wait a long time to see a defensive lineman make that athletic a return for a TD again.
• The light is most definitely on for Lawrence Timmons and it's coming on for Ziggy Hood.
• William Gay seems to be much better as the nickel back.
• People should be happy with Jeff Reed... after New Orleans and Oakland both missed FGs from 29 and 32 yards to lose today.
• Can we please make Mewelde Moore inactive? His time has passed. Redman & Dwyer need to see the action.
• Important Divisional matchup with the Shitbirds next Sunday. Still A. Fan and I will be there. If we can go 4-0 without Ben, I'll be excited about the last 3/4 of the season.

DOG: Post Game Comments TEN

Where In The World is Troy Polamalu?

Were is Troy? That has to be the question Vince Young was asking himself all day. Troy was where Troy wanted to be. That is, EVERWHERE! In the backfield sacking the QB. In the end zone intercepting passes. Rushing the passer. Dropping into coverage. In the backfield making tackles and disrupting plays. All the above. I'm pretty sure LeBeau was not certain of where Troy was going, so Tennessee QBs had absolutely no clue. They'd have had an easier time finding Carmen San Diego!!

But that's just the beginning of the comments for this weeks win against the Titans.

• Lawrence Timmons is rapidly becoming Troy II from his LB position. I am certain he closed faster and hit Chris Johnson harder than he'd ever seen before. Timmons and Woodley make a nice 1-2 Exacta for Mike Tomlin's first picks.
• The Silverback was turned loose today. No human could stop him. I love that guy.
• Pouncey continues to impress. With injuries to several offensive linemen today the rookie held that line together like a 10 year vet... and it was only his 2nd NFL start!!
• Mewelde Moore is done. Washed up. He adds nothing. We need to clear the way for Redman and Dwyer in the backfield. We have other veterans for "veteran leadership" we do not need Moore. Every time he's in the game the play gets blown up.
• Who plays QB next week? Does it matter? The way this defense is playing anything more than 10 points can win a game. Reminds me of the '76 defense already who really buckled down when Mike Kruczek had to play QB while Bradshaw was out.
• Nice call on the special teams KO return for a TD on the opening kickoff.
• How many guys can say they scored a TD on their very first NFL play? Antonio Brown can!
• Hard to maintain this level of intensity for 16 weeks and the playoffs. But if Ben comes back ready to play and the defense continues this effort, we could be scary good.
• Who would have thought we'd be 2-0 and playing a 2-0 Tampa team next week??

DOG: Why Fantasy Football Sucks

Fantasy football sucks, because it is not football, it is a fantasy. Like a wet dream. Like jacking off to Pamela Anderson in US magazine. It ain't real.

Fantasy football is absolutely huge in this country these days. And it has completely distorted and undermined our understanding of the game of football. It is a game of numbers and statistics. To which I retort an old saying, "Figures don't lie, but liars can figure."

My case was made by Steeler CB Bryant McFadden this past weekend. McFadden has come under criticism by fans and the media for allowing Atlanta's Pro-Bowl receiver Roddy White catch 13 balls for 111 yards on him last weekend. Just looking at those numbers you would say White burned McFadden like toast. But that is simply untrue.

You must look at what McFadden was tasked with in the context of LeBeau's defense. He lined up against White with a 5 to 7 yard cushion on most downs. His job was to prevent the big play by Atlanta's primary receiver. So, did White break any long gainers? Nope. In fact, he was thrown to 23 times. That means McFadden was successful in preventing a catch 10 times! Hell, Matt Ryan only attempted 43 passes the entire game and 23 of them were thrown to Roddy White!!

Did Atlanta take that 5-7 yard out that was there? Absolutely. Did Roddy White score a TD? Absolutely not. But Fantasy Football players who analyze the statistics will see that Roddy White did have a big day statistically. Then they will spout off more statistics which support their case for "knowing football." They don't know jack shit. And they miss the best part of watching the game.

DOG: Some Like Them Hot

I am becoming one of the people I used to think were crazy, loco, you know, flip-city. Those who took great delight in eating hot peppers. I used to think it was pure insanity.

I slowly have been adding more and more hot pepper spice in everything I cook beginning with my patented Firedog Chili. Last October I made the best batch ever using 11 different kinds of peppers, 3 different kinds of groud meat (bison, beef, & venison), and a bunch of different kinds of beans including light & dark kidneys, black beans, pinto beans, & red beans. That's all of the recipe that gets shared. Cause we're here to talk peppers.

Of those 11 different peppers only a red, green, yellow, and orange bell pepper were not hot. The rest ranged from jalapenos and serranos to poblanos, Anaheim, and cherry peppers. Plus just one scotch bonnet (almost a habanero). Notice that didn't add up to 11 but again, I'm not divulging my secrets here.

Right after I made that batch of chili I was diagnosed with diabetic neuropathy. Went on a diet, lost 35 lbs. exercised more religiously and my diabetes is well under control with no drugs. But the neuropathy in my feet remains. Seems the extra sugar in your blood eats away the tiny nerve endings in your extremeties like it was battery acid. That's apparently what happened in my feet.

So I started to research what I could do to try and get some of the feeling in my feet back. Aside from various vitamins that seem to help, Capsaicin is named. Capsaicin is the active ingredient in hot peppers that make them, well, hot. And so, I began my quest to increase my tolerance for hot peppers in an attempt to help with my neuropathy.

I started putting Tabasco (cayenne) sauce on my eggs. Added jalapenos and serranos to meatloaf. Slowly but surely my tolerance to hot peppers has risen.

So today I decided to eat a raw jalapeno by itself. Some people with gardens who work with me have been bringing in fresh produce to give away so I snagged one. And WOW, I had no problem except where the capsaicin hit my lips. Tongue OK. Lips hot. Damn, I am starting to really like this stuff.

I know there's a lot of people who can't handle hot peppers. I used to be one of them. Hell, I used to work with a woman who I called a fucking lunatic when she offered me a pepperocini back in '78. But, much like the reborn Christian, I am here to confess the error of my ways and spread the gospel of hot pepper therapy!

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, I say unto you, a hot pepper a day can make medical science go the way of the dinosaur! Amen.

DOG: Post Game Comments ATL

Mendenhall Saves The Day

Stillers looked just like I thought they'd look and got exactly the result I thought they'd get in another hard fought OT victory over the Dirty Birds of Atlanta.

Arians, much to the surprise of many including myself, put together a nice gameplan and called a decent game for Dennis Dixon. DD was pretty shaky at times but also had his moments. He managed the game, did not make critical errors, and allowed Rashard Mendenhall to finally break one to put a W up on the board to start the season.

• Pittsburgh and Atlanta have played to Overtime in each of their last 3 meetings.
• Flozell Adams is a bad hombre. He played like a grizzly that got kicked in the nuts.
• It's amazing how good Trai Essex can look flanked by Pouncey and Adams.
• Let us be thankful that nobody on Atlanta's defense can catch any better than Ike Taylor.
• We gonna miss Max Starks at LT. Hope he can return by the time Ben is back.
• Excellent D-Line rotation. And we needed it with Fat Casey out with a hamstring. Hoke, Hood & Eason was almost no practical dropoff from Keisel, Smith & Hampton.
• Timmons finally coming into his own.
• Troy is back. Makes all the difference.
• Hines Ward turned in the standard Ward day. 6 catches 108yards.
• Dixon could have kept a couple drives alive were it not for those "worm burner" passes that appeared to be intended for gophers living below the Heinz Field turf more than to Randle-El and Mike Wallace.
• Jeff Reed, ever the enigma.
• Silverback & Woodley are as good a pair of OLBs as anyone has. Talk about setting the edge, those guys were on their game.
• Dan Sepluveda averaging 50 yards per kick on 5 punts!
• Don't overlook that Harvey Dahl, Sam Baker, Justin Blalock, & Tyson Clabo are 4 real good offensive linemen. And we whipped their asses.
• Matty "Ice" not so cool. Better than Flacco though.
• On Troy's INT Matt Ryan never looked to his right until he threw the ball. Despite that, Troy jumped the route from his deep safety position. That's pure instinct. Then to get there and catch it inbounds. We need to realize we are witnessing something special with 43 every weekend.
• And of course Mendenhall. Kept plugging away until he finally broke the game winner.

DOG: Who Love Some DD?

Now that I have your attention! Nah man, not that kind of DD. Although I sure do loves me some a dat DD meat!! I'm talking about a different kind of DD. Like this here:

Yeah DD as in Dennis Dixon. The starting QB for the Pittsburgh Stillers on Sunday.

Lots of people are skeptical about how DD is going to play for us. But I'm not worried at all. In fact I hope Dennis has as much confidence in himself as I do.

Ben Roethlisberger he is not. So get that shit out of your heads right now. He is far closer to Kordell Stewart than Ben Roethlisberger. But hey, we won a lot of game with Kordell (a different #10) at QB. And I see no reason why we can't win 2 or 3 out of the first 4 with DD under center.

There's an old John Hartford song that has a line that goes, "Style is based on limitations." And it's very true. Dennis Dixon does have his limitations. But if we can construct an offensive gameplan to play to his strengths, he'll do very well. We can keep the chains moving, keep our defense off the field, and play some old school CowerPower football. We can get back to Huck It-Chuck It football once Ben returns from Roger's Time Out.

There's another old saying that goes "You can't win the Super Bowl in September. But you can lose it." So basically we've got to put DD in position to succeed. I think he's athletic enough to take advantage of the opportunity. He just can't lose the Super Bowl in September. By October Big Ben will be back and foaming at the mouth to play football. Then we'll go.

So people need to stop worrying about Dixon and get behind him. I'm looking at you, Pittsburgh Sports media. You ever see him play at Oregon? Dude lit up the whole Pacific Coast his senior year until he was injured. He can play NFL football. Maybe not for a 16 game season but by October 4 you're gonna be glad we got him.

Here We Go!!

DOG: "Soda" goes the Weasel

Growing up in Western Pennsylvania, I've always called all soft drinks "pop." When I was little we used to visit my aunts who lived in Cleveland and Toledo and the people there called it "pop" too.

But then I moved East. First to a farm on the Mason-Dixon line in Franklin County, PA to take a job in Hagerstown, MD. Then later I moved to my present home in a rural area outside Baltimore. And people in all those places call it "soda." I laughed my ass off the first time I heard someone order a soda. I was thinking either a straight Club Soda, Creme Soda, or Arm & Hammer Baking Soda.

Then today I chanced across this map (click on the photo above to enlarge) that lists what folks commonly call soft drinks by county in the USA. Soda ain't the half of the story! Most of the South apparently calls all soft drinks "Coke." From Texas and Oklahoma all the way to the South Carolina and Georgia coastline "Coke" means just about any soft drink you can order! I'm sure the Coca-Cola company loves that!!

I remember that for graduating to second grade my dad bought me a case of pop with 48 8oz returnable bottles in it. It was Regent pop made over in Westmoreland County, PA. It had a variety of flavors, orange, cherry, cola, root beer, creme soda, grape, and lemon-lime (this was before Sprite ever came out). I had to make it last all summer. I just can't imagine wanting a root beer and ordering "Coke." Cannot get my head around that concept.

Anyway I found the map intriguing and I thought somebody else might too. As for me I still call it "Pop" even though I don't drink soft drinks of any sort anymore. Too much high fructose syrup. That shit'll kill you... slowly.

DOG: Caption This Picture

I'll start it off with "Eat Me"

DOG: A Day At The Pig Races!

Stilladog @ Pork Chop Downs

I could have titled this story several other things. Among them are, "A Weekend With The In-Laws" and "A Day At The Maryland State Un-fair." But I'm trying to focus on the positive here folks. The most fun I had all weekend was at the Pig Races (and pig swimming demonstration). So I'm going with that.

Yes I entertained my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, nephew, grandson, step-son, and daughter-in-law over the weekend. The only one missing was my sister-in-law (known on here as Dog-In-Law) but last I heard she was out in Kansas, or Oklahoma, or Little House on the Prairie somewhere. Their visit all went really well. But part of the entertainment was our trip to the Maryland State Un-fair.

I ain't a big Fair Person anyway, so why I thought it was a good idea to take everybody to the Maryland State Fair I don't know. If I ever suggest such a thing again, somebody just shoot me. I know why I thought it would be a good idea. I thought the kids, a pair of 3 year old boys, my nephew and grandson, would have a good time riding tractors and petting cows and riding rides and spending money on absolute stupid shit. And they did all that, and they did have fun.

The fair had a chainsaw carving demo, horse racing, and pig racing which were all things I knew I'd enjoy. So having a good time for everybody is what I thought we'd have. I am hearing my father's words in my head. "You know what Thought did, dontcha? He thought he had to fart and shit his pants!"

Soon as you come in they start hounding you to buy tickets to this and that and a subscription to the Baltimore Sun. The Sunpapers had gold and green mardi gras beads out so I grabbed one for each boy. Then the lady asked if I wasn't going to subscribe since I took her beads. I told her no I'm not going to subscribe. I went on to tell her that the Baltimore Sun sucks and I wait for the Carroll County Times to come out just so I can throw away my used crab shells because her paper is not worthy of the remnants of seafood. Then I added, "If you don't want people to take them, don't put them out!" I just got a couple for the little kids. It wasn't like I stashed them in my bag and was going to cruise the Midway asking women to show me their tits for a strand of beads like in New Orleans, geez. (Nice idea though!)

Next we went to the chainsaw carving. I was most interested in seeing this dude sculpt a pair of cowboy boots out of a chunk of a log using only about a dozen different chain saws. He was on a 3 foot elevated stage and had nylon mesh completely around his demo tent. Not many people were watching so I got up within about 5 feet of the stage and about 12 feet from where he actually was cutting. With nobody around that I could block anyone's view they asked me to step back from the demo area. I told them "Fuck you" and walked away.

So then we went over to the Pig Races where it was absolutely the highlight of the day. The Pigs had names like Nancy Piglosi, Brittney Spear-ribs, Brad Pigg, and Hillary RodHAM Clinton. It was funny as shit and the place was absolutely packed. The little pigs really run fast. The heavyweights just lumber out of the gate until one decides to take off and then the other pigs chase him. I bought pig noses for everyone. And knowing we were having boneless pork ribs for dinner, had a few jokes thrown in there too about whoever came in last place would be the first on my grill!

So after an hour of the pig races, I'm thinking it's time to go home and go "Whole Hog" on those pork ribs I had waiting in the fridge. But nope, we had to fish for toys first. Ok that's cool. So while the boys are fishing for plastic swords and stuffed animals I wander around. Just observing. Until I came to the basketball shoot. Lo and behold look what they have for prizes for making 3 baskets in a row. Limas Sweed and Willie Parker Steeler jerseys along with the excess inventory of Big Ben's (since I guess they're not the hot seller they once were). So I think, I'm going to take a picture of this, it'll make a great blog story. I shoot off the photo posted here and the dude tells me $2 to take a photo. Guess what? For the second time in two hours I told a complete stranger "Fuck you" and walked away.

Never take your in-laws to the state fair. In fact, if you ain't got prize livestock to show or the best rhubarb pie in the state, go someplace else for entertainment. The fair is just unfair... unless you want to see the Pig Races which I thoroughly endorse!

DOG: The End of Summer

Even though the ferocious 100 degree heat has gone into remission, I for one cannot wait for Summer to go away. I hate Summer. When it's blistering hot you can't do anything outside. So it's the same as in Winter... only worse. In Winter when it's cold you can bundle up with enough clothes to finally stay warm. In Summer when it's hot, there a finite amount of clothes you can take off to be cool. Once you're down to what God gave you to start with and you're still too hot, you're just fucked.

I know kids hate to see the end of Summer because it means going back to school. I used to feel that way too. But with the fall comes reasonable weather and best of all, football season!!

The above photograph is a picture of me and my cousins Doug & Rick (L to R) from the end of Summer circa 1963. Sitting on a swing at my Aunt's house eating banana popsicles. Man, life sure was simpler back in those days. Doug & Rick had come down from Connecticut to visit their grandmother in Western PA. When they came out to my neighborhood we most always played baseball in some form -wiffle ball, softball, baseball etc.- every day.

I'd venture to say this photo was taken on a break from baseball in the late afternoon in August. When Ice Cream Ike came by driving his modified '57 Chevy truck with no doors and a refrigerated cooler welded to the frame playing Little Brown Jug over his speakers on a continuous loop, we all ran for our nickles and pennies to get a popsicle. It was the equivalent of pressing the Pause button of life. No matter what you were doing, life was temporarily interrupted by the Ice Cream Man.

Once you finished your popsicle you could resume playing whatever game it was you were playing before. I've really never seen a phenomina like it anywhere else. I'd bet we didn't even age for that moment in time. Time did actually stand still!

Looking at that photo now I'm seeing my shorts cut off at the knee which is now the accepted style. The piece of rope I had for a belt, not so much. And you could tell I hated the heat even back then. I almost never wore a shirt in the summer.

Many thanks to whatever family member sent me this photograph. I can't remember who it was. But I certainly do appreciate receiving it. The memories it brought back prompted me to tell this story which apparently is where we're going with this blog at least until Fan makes up his mind what he's going to do with it. As for me, between all my geezing about the old days and more Satch stories, I think we can keep this thing rolling for a while longer for sure. Your comments really help though.

Oh yeah, almost forgot... if the year was indeed 1963, that's the year popsicles went from 5¢ to 6¢.

FAN: If A Tree Falls In The Woods....

The Fan Family is off to The Bahamas tomorrow morning via Manhattan Cruise Terminal.

I'll be doing a little thinking while I'm there. I'm thinking our little site here may have run it's course. Even though we get a decent number of hits every day, a certain percentage is for images (like this beautiful Bahamas Beach) and some people stop in multiple times a day if we haven't posted.

I'm tired. Still A Stroke swims both summer and winter competitively and it's time consuming and during the 3 month break between swim I coach her volleyball team. I don't know if Dog is as tired as I am, but if we're only slightly entertaining 15 people instead of 60, it might be time to hang 'em up and just comment the shit out of That's Church, Darwinfish2 and Carpetbaggery. Maybe I'll finally join Facebook. Who knows.

Dog, whatchoo think?

By reading the numbers we do really well some days with people who come and stay and found us from a google search for an article, not for the image, but they are far less than when we posted a few times a day.

Leave us a comment....what do you think? No mercy "bangs". And I'll look at the IP addresses to see if anybody is stuffing the ballot box! Still A While...are you still out there?

FAN: Moss at Ground Zero

There's been a ton of debate recently about potentially having moss at ground zero. Some folks are up in arms about it and some say that moss at ground zero proves how tolerant we can be. I thought it was time for Steel City Slant to weigh in on this subject.

I am firmly in the corner of Roberto "No Moss" Duran. I try to be an equal opportunist with horticulture but eff me moss is annoying. My yard has numerous mature trees providing plenty of summer shade, but it also provides optimal growing conditions for moss on my not so flat paver patio....and let me tell you something, moss is as slippery as owl shit when it's wet. Little patches of moss sprout up all the time on my patio. You know what I do to them? I kill those bastards. I don't use the wimpy "Round-Up" made for dandelions either. I use poison ivy and small brush killer. I don't use a single spray either. I apply the killing agent liberally. After I'm done with a round of moss killing, there's no doubt in my mind they'll dry up into a yellowish brown mess and turn to dust in a week which can easily be swept away.

I don't know why people think it's OK for moss to grow at ground zero. One summer I didn't keep the moss under control and it just spread and spread all over my property. I had a hell of a time beating it back once I realized what was going on. I think ground zero should be kept as sterile as possible. Heck, if moss starts growing there, you could have anti-moss types protesting every day. That would make it uncomfortable for folks who just want to go and pay their respects to the innocent people who lost their lives there that day. I used to walk to lunch down a street that had a Jewish business on one side and a Palestinian one on the other. For a year straight there were protesters on both sides of the street shouting and yelling insults back and forth at each other. We can't have that at ground zero.

The prediction I'll make is this, if moss starts growing there it won't be long before commercial weed control trucks start showing up trying to kill it. Is it idealistically wrong to not want moss at ground zero? Probably, yes. Do I want moss at ground zero? No. Hell no.

DOG: Duke's Album Art

The graphic on the lower left is Duke Robillard's new album, Passport To The Blues. The graphic on the top right is a photo taken by Stilladog that was posted on this blog in February.

I had to check to make sure Duke didn't use my photo of him as his album cover. Not that it would have mattered to me. I'd have given him the rights to use it for free if he'd asked me. But maybe the dude standing next to me was being paid to shoot pictures for the album on the Blues Cruise.

Whoever the photographer was we were seconds apart and likely standing next to each other! And Duke was tearing up the house (ship) that night too. I think Duke pretty much brought the house down every time he played on the cruise.

So much to my surprise when I ran across Duke's new album I found a picture almost identical to one of the three I shot of him that evening in January. I thought it was cool and wanted to share it with Bluzdude and whoever else bothers to actually read our posts. Here are the other two pics. Not quite as good of quality so it's obvious why I chose the one above to post originally.

FAN: Thankless Volunteer Work

So if you remember from last year, I coach my daughter's volleyball team. I was
asked by our Athletic Director to send out an email to get a hard 'Yes' or 'No'
for each player about asthma. Apparently one of the other sports had an incident
and a new rule was put in place that we needed to make parents aware of. Our
practice schedule is confusing because so many teams need gym time. We don't
have set nights or times. I mentioned that in my welcome to the team email. Our
AD also emailed me our practice schedule through September 9th.

If I happen to email the team on another subject, I'll throw a reminder at the
bottom about the upcoming practice. I emailed the team yesterday about asthma
and I tagged at the bottom 'REMINDER - Practice Tonight 6-7:30'.

This is an email I received in my inbox:

"Hi Coach. As I had previously asked can you give me alittle notice prior to vb
practice. I have two babies at home. Is practice a set night? I
apologize SNOWFLAKE missed again however I got the email the day of....I don't
want her missing anymore because of our communication. She is getting upset that
she has missed two...please let me know how we can expedite this. Email or
calling is fine.

MOTHER SNOWFLAKE"

Um, well, first off - you missed THREE practices so far. Second, I emailed the
complete schedule last Thursday and your name is first in the email list. Short
of calling your unorganized ass an hour prior to practice, I don't know what
else I can do. Stop having babies and start paying attention to your 11 year
old.

-Coach Fan XoXo

PS - If you ever cop an attitude with me again without checking your facts, your
kid will be running laps in your honor at the first practice you can actually
get her to.

FAN: Juke Joint Duo

That's me with Cedric Burnside and Lightnin' Malcolm. Yes, the picture is shitty because the guy I went with is a technophobe. Just as the Droid was flashing he yanked it away to say "it's not working". Thanks. I think you can tell it's me. We were having some beers on a patio when Cedric came out of the place and walked right past us. We were having an Arrogant Bastard 22 oz. (not me) and a Voodoo White Magick Of The Sun (me).

These small venues are awesome for meeting the artists after the show. The opening band was Beaucoup Blue. I would almost classify them as roots, but they ended the set with a really good double dip of blues. They are kind of folksy but still kick it a little in places even though they are a 2-piece guitar father and son duo. I guess the drummer left after recording the videos on YouTube. The dad has an intresting style that you probably cant appreciate unless you listen to every song link to hear all the different solos. He plucks, slides and bangs his many guitars. They were entertaining to say the least.

As for Cedric and Lightnin'? Wow. I read a review of Lightnin's playing and it was spot on....they called him a raggedy ass virtuoso, lol. At times he seemed like he wasn't even playing yet there was a wall of guitar coming out of the amps. I found it impressive that he mixes the different guitar parts into one contorted layered buzzy mess. Some longer numbers with few lyrics almost left me feeling like I was in a trance. I was in row F and there wasn't a person sitting in rows D or E. They have a few tables in front of the theater seats and my buddy and I counted about 25 people for the opening act and about 75 for Cedric and Malcolm.

Dog, how do you make a living playing to 75 people when tickets are $20 and you have to pay an opening band and everything else? Do radio stations subsidize this stuff?

On to Cedric and then off to bed.... Cedric is a hard nut to crack for me since I'm a drummer. I could describe him in many ways. I could say I've never seen anyone live - EVER - beat the shit out of the drums like Cedric did last night. Ever. Even on film I'm certain Bonzo never hit that hard. To me, it seems like a waste of motion, but when I reflect on it, I see that it's part of him and the show. What he lacks in precision, he more than makes up for in tenacity. He's been playing for years I guess but he seems very raw to me as a drummer. In one instance he would play a repeated fill of quarter note triplets without alternating hands which seems very clumsy visually and a little behind in timing....and then in the next bar he would rip something out of his ass that was so clean you could eat off of it. He's an enigma back there. After hearing him just play while Malcolm tuned up for the first song, I thought to myself that he wasn't that good. However, as the night went on, he did play some impressive stuff. He's loud as hell, but that's the style. I had a headache when I left but I think I was supposed to. I can see how a Juke Joint would stay rockin' all night with grooves like that. I found myself thinking "how am I going to describe Cedric when I write about this". Imagine James Harrison hungry. Don't feed him for 24 hours. Then, give him drumsticks that resemble tree trunks and turn him loose with no formal training behind an unsuspecting drum kit. Add guitars.

Well, well, well.....Cedric Burnside, I love your grand daddy's music. Now I love yours. I'm all about high energy music. I haven;t listened to the CD yet that I bought last night - but I'm hoping it's as sushi raw as the live show.