Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas Bin Laden


A Christmas Story from Still A Dad:

Little Rebecca comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Christmas. "Since Christmas is for Christians and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a Christmas card?

Rebecca's father thinks! a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Christmas card to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock?

"Well", she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a card, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent cards to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.
Rebecca, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Rebecca says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him and send him back to hell where he belongs!"

Thursday, December 14, 2006

First Good Joke In A Long Time

I get a lot of jokes passed my way online. Most of them are either old or not funny. This one from Still A. Dad made me laugh out loud when I read both punchlines.

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f*@%ing blanket!" After a moment of silence ... he farted.