Analyst Shmanalyst

I cannot understand a goddamn word that Shannon Sharpe says. Not a goddamn word. How does he keep his job? I'd rather have his screaming brother on the set...oh yeah...that won't matter next week because I'm turning on the TV at 12:59. These guys ruined my enthusiasm for the beginning of the season. ESPN had a countdown for the kickoff at 45 minutes or so out. Huh? Some comments: Chris Berman is a caricature of himself at this point. At least he's tolerable. Mike Ditka can't complete a sentence. He starts them...just doesn't finish them. Keyshawn Johnson is actually pretty good. I'm pleasantly surprised. Tom Jackson knows more than anybody on TV. I'd love to sit down and talk football with him. He's very knowledgeable. Emmitt Smith is a flaming idiot. An idiot, I say. I would love to know what his IQ is. I'm guessing about 10 points above mentally challenged. He just opined for 5 minutes on why the Chargers will have to wait 2 years to win because when you get a new staff it takes that long for everyone to get on the same page even though they have all kinds of talent. Keyshawn looked at him and asked what happened in year one when Barry Switzer took over for Jimmy Johnson. Apparently Dumb Emmitt wasn't ready for that question because he looked like normal - a deer caught in the headlights. On to CBS....I already spoke about Shannon...I think he has pictures of the head of CBS. Dan Marino is "Ok" I guess, nothing special. Bill Cowher took it easy today and didn't say much. Boomer Esiason thinks he owns the set. He's pretty knowledgeable, but he talks too much. CBS is also copying "Jacked Up" by having the McDonald's "Pounders". Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Cowher picked the Vikings as his surprise team and said the QB reminds him of Kordell Stewart. Yes, he said exactly that! My goodness. When they went out to the guys doing the games...I almost laughed at Dan Dierdorf. He looks more and more like a St. Bernard every year. I think I heard him "Woof!". The FOX staff is decent, but they laugh too much at stupid stuff that isn't even funny. Howie is the best of the crew, Bradshaw is decent, Jimmy Johnson is turning into Ditka. Oh well, on to the games.

Thoughts From Super Bowl XLI

I wonder if Dan Marino is happy this morning? Why would he be happy you ask? Because now every time Manning's name comes up in the playoffs, the line of thought won't go straight to "he's this generation's Dan Marino - huge numbers - no Super Bowl ring". Makes sense I guess, although misery loves company. Maybe Marino wanted...needed....another big-time QB to share that distinction with. It's hard to read Marino to see how he really feels about it, but wouldn't it be hysterical if he was really like the reclusive kicker from Ace Ventura - Pet Detective? That he can't get on with his life because it bothers him so much. Funnier yet that it was Marino that the kicker kidnapped because he didn't put the "laces out" on the kick. Oh well, and why do I care about Marino this morning...because I could care less about the Super Bowl this year. Sloppy weather made for sloppy play - I can't remember one play really except for the Marvin Harrison toe catch and Hester's return. Without all the turnovers, it was a pretty unremarkable game to watch unless you're a Colt's or Bear's fan. We all knew Rex Grossman was inconsistent and potentially the least talented QB to every play in the big game. If the Bears were going to win - it would have to be on defense and they came up small. Manning ate them up underneath and Rhodes and Addai looked like they were running against the early season Colt's defense. The Bears were on defense the entire game. They couldn't get off the field or convert a 3rd down on offense. Other than that - what's there to say? One thing I found a little odd was Manning's reaction to the win. Michael Jordon used to jump on tables and raise his fists in the air. Tiger Woods has the fist pump. Manning looked like a zombie to me. I'm not even sure as time ran out that I saw him smile. As he walked across the filed nodding and saying "good job" to teammates and opponents alike....it was with the same demeanor that a wood shop teacher would walk down the line of students inspecting their birdhouses "good job.....good job.....roof's crooked....good job....". Maybe he didn't want to let his emotions show but I remember Brett Favre when he won and he looked like a 7 year old on Christmas morning. I think it was a controlled response and maybe that's why I'm not a Manning fan. Be real. Let it out. If anyone has any right to explode after winning the Super Bowl - it would be someone who has heard he can't for 5 years. Maybe he saved it for the locker room? Who knows? Who cares? I'm glad the AFC won, I'm glad Tony Dungy won (did you know he's the first black coach to win a Super Bowl (dripping with sarcasm )? Am I happy for Manning? Not really. Not that I was rooting against him, but I like Dan Marino damn it......and now he needs a new buddy for his club. Let's hope it's Carson Palmer 5 years from now!