FAN: Steelers Destroy Patriots

It was a beautiful day for football, wasn't it? The Patriots smacked around at home. Ahh, everything will be fine in the universe for the next 6 days. Not much to say about the game other than my random musings which begin now: Willie showed a nice burst on his first carry. During the Steeler's first offensive series, shouldn't we have run more? Belichick in hoodie down - stupid, Belichick in hoodie up - stupider. Early in the game, starting a series inside their own 15, after already giving up a pick and a score, we threw three straight times on a three and out. I like Russel and Holmes returning kicks and punts. After Holmes scored on a nice move off a pump fake - Dan Dierdork mentioned it 5 times and yet they failed to show the move on replay. Fat Casey got mad and had a sack 2 plays later....his first of the year. Does that mean he's not trying hard enough the rest of the time? Troy Polamalu's spin move to get an extra 15 yards on his pick was something out of 1940. Sweet. When you are winning 23-10 with 9 minutes remaining and your star RB has a recently healed knee....why is he still in the game? Especially when Moore was doing fine. When was the last time Gillette stadium was empty with 10 minutes to play? When Ike Taylor flipped the ball to Jabar Gaffney after Gaffney's miss, it was the most animated Belimort was all day! That's saying something. Instead of being mad that his defense gave up 180 rushing....he was mad at that??? I laugh at your stupidity. With less than 5 minutes to go you could hear Steeler Nation chanting "Here We Go", music to my ears. Last but certainly not least - Dan Dierdorf said 12 times today that the drops didn't look like they were being caused by the rain. Did you see how hard it was raining? He's a nut bag. When it's raining that hard, it's like a thin coating of oil is on the ball when it's spinning like that. It rained the entire warmup and game....hard. Don't tell me from your dry booth you old coot that the rain had nothing to do with the drops. Nothing? Maybe it was hard to see through....hard to pick up the ball.....rain in your eyes....surprised at just how wet the ball was when it hit you..... DORK!

DOG: Stillers 33, Cheatriots 10 - Game Notes

• Well, well. Seems when Billy B. doesn't have accurate surveilance he becomes far less of a genius. In fact, he looked more like the Notre Dame coach and the Cleveland Browns coach than Vince Lombardi.


• Matt Cassell however does look just like Tom Brady... gay.


• I would take the 15 yard penalty, and the inevitable fine coming from Roger GODdell every time, to knock out a little weasel like Wes Welker. My only question is, why did it take us 'til the second half to knock the piss out of him? Thank you, Ryan Clark!


• That Randy Moss is money. He looked like Jackie Smith in Super Bowl XIII. Dropping the sure TD in the end zone.


• The Silverback is by far the defensive player of the year in the NFL.


• I said back a few weeks ago I'd wait to see what the Stillers brought into Gillette Stadium before I made up my mind. My mind is now made up. We are riding! At least me and my dog (Dog's dog) Mattie are riding. Into the playoffs. Anybody want to join us?


• This is the first time since... well since he called for a QB bootleg on 3rd and 6 in the playoffs last year, that I watched an entire Steeler game without bitching incessantly about Bruce Arians.


• I like Mike Tomlin better with each passing week, win or lose.


• And for all you Tom Brady loving Patriots apologists among our 35 readers: I hope you wore your Patriots jerseys today with pride. You are every bit as pathetic as the Patriot "fans" who abandoned the stadium in the 3rd quarter and left the New England night air ringing with a resounding "Here We Go STEELERS! HERE WE GO!!" as CBS cut over to the Jets-Broncos game.


• Saddle up Stillers, we got some Cowboys to take care of next.

FAN: Johnstown Inclined Plane

From a little site seeing jaunt over Thanksgiving. The pics at original size and detail are pretty cool at 12 mp. Just didn't want to have overkill on here. The overlook is not a good place to be if heights bother you at all. Funny thing, I never knew these were here and it's supposedly the world's steepest incline at 71%. Learn something new every day.

FAN: Plax's Brother?

This is rich. Why is it that the screwups continue to be screwups? From the day he bounced up from catching a pass untouched and spiked it - we all questioned his mental capacity. Everytime he does something stupid, he says "hey, I'm human, I make mistakes". No. You're mentally challenged, you make lots of mistakes. I was going to call him retarded, but I didn't want to insult any retarded people. Why don't they just cut him? Cut him right now. Jerry Jones can't wait for him to get cut. The thing that makes myself and millions of football fans crazy, is that if this shithead had half of Hines Ward's heart, he'd be dominating the league year after year. Instead, I hear Randy Moss in my head whenever I see Plax...."I play when I want to play". I still blame him for not squeezing a pass in the back of the endzone that would have sent us to the Super Bowl one year instead of the stinking Patriots. Speaking of the Patriots -we need to split these next four games. I don't care how they win two or who they do it against, but we need two at minimum.

DOG: The Dump Truck Rides Again!

While I was giving thanks for all my blessings, then gorging myself on turkey, pork loin, steamed oysters, mashed potaotoes, sauerkraut, and more cassaroles than you can shake a stick at, the Steelers re-signed Najeh "Dump Truck" Davenport.

This marks the Dump Truck's third tour of duty with the Stillers in the last year. Presumably he is an insurance policy against further running back injuries. I sure do prefer to see my "33" returning kickoffs than the plodding Dump Truck. It's a toss-up in short yardage situations, but either one is a better option than Willie Parker or Mewelde Moore in moving the pile.

Safe holiday travels to everyone. Kill the Patriots!!

FAN: Feels Like Winter

We arrived at our Thanksgiving destination to find over 6 inches of snow. Dudes, I'm going sled riding!
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FAN: Ernster Gone, Parker Down

Well, the Steelers cut Paul Ernster (thank God), but they brought back Mitch Berger (my God). Also, in what is becoming too routine, Parker may not play this week. I can't wait for next year to see what Mendenhall can really do. I may pickup the slack from Pittgirl's absence doing the What Were They Really Thinking? bit every once in a while. No time this week, maybe next.

FAN: Gonna Get Me Some Trim

Ummm, if you are hiring a Clown to show up at a kid's party, you might not want to pick one with 'Trim" in his name. I remember when I was on drumline - we used to play a cadence that had a break in it where we all screamed something. We would make a list of 4-5 things that we would use on the way up and down the hill we practiced on. We would also do it for parades. One of the drumline's standard words was "MIRT", which was "trim" backwards. We didn't think we could get away with screaming 'Trim". I think this clown needs to be prison raped a few times.....and he will be......total justice.

DOG: Polamalu - The New "Mean Joe?"

Word around the campfire is that Coca-Cola is shooting a new commercial to be aired during the Super Bowl. It's a remake of the famous Mean Joe Greene commercial starring Troy Polamalu in the role of Mean Joe.

Troy is by no means as mean or as scary as Mean Joe. But they do share an unparalleled intensity on the field and a soft-spoken personality off it.

Sure would be cool to see Steelers during the game and during the commercials too!

Axl Rose or Meatloaf?

When did Axl Rose become Meatloaf?

FAN: DMV Blues

I woke up today in a great mood. 5:15 AM. Went to bed early. Spent some time organizing my half tb drive, had some Diet Cokes, ate some breakfast...looked up the exact address of the DMV Photo Station.....WHAT? Yup. It's that time again. I'm already overdue. Heck, my birthday was a few weeks ago. I filed for the temporary (I'm late) camera card and waited for it in the mail. The last time I needed my photo taken I had to wait an ungodly amount of time so this time I decided to be proactive - I'll be there when they open. I showed up at 8:20 and they open at 8:30. Perfect. There were already four people in line so I was fifth. After turning around I could see the number of people still sitting in their cars waiting until the place opened. They were too fragile to be out in the cold so now they'll pay the price with a longer wait inside (insert evil laugh here). The doors opened promptly at 8:30 and we were herded into a straight line where there was a machine spitting out ticketed numbers. There were at least 30 people in line by now. You had to press A for photo license, B for permits and C for driving exams. Simple enough. "A" it is. I walked into the room and it was very confusing, this from a tech savvy process engineer. I already see the lady that was first in line up at one of the "kiosks". A quick scan told me there were six kiosks. Each had a digital sign above it marked "01", "02"....."06". Again, simple enough. I looked down at my ticket. I had "A003". Good deal. I look back up at the numbers above the workers and the guy sitting at "03" looks pretty surly. He was about 38-43, probably as tall as me, bigger than me....but soft. He was balding but what was there was dyed platinum blond. I thought that was weird as well as we were out in the middle of nowhere and it was a bit hickish....but whatever. Since nobody was with him and he was at "03" and my ticket said "A003", I thought I was supposed to go there. I walked up to him, displayed my ticket and said as politely as possible "Is this where I'm supposed to be?" he pointed towards 5 and 6 and said "Over there" like he was a principal and I was in 3rd grade. Hmmm. Well, not everyone in the service industry is friendly. I smiled and asked "Which line?" Answering me like he'd been there 8 hours already instead of 2 minutes he said "A's A's, with the A's". Ladies and gentlemen, I can assure you there are no signs saying which desks are for what. I said "Oh, ok, because I have A003 and your sign says 03, that's why I thought it was your line." I was told that there is an arrow on the ticket spitter that should have directed me in the right direction. The ticket spitter was the size of a parking meter. It's also probably right between desks 3 and 4 so regardless if it said left or right, 3 or 4 was still fair game in my estimation. Calculating all of that pretty quickly in my head, I replied with a hearty "Wow, you're in a good mood this morning". I wasn't mad. I was pointing out in the only way I knew how that he was being an asshole. If he would have laughed back or even hinted that it was cool, it would have been cool. Obviously it was not cool. As I turned to go sit down, with the attention now of the room and other workers he blurted "Sir, you asked me where to go, I told you where to go, you were one of the first people here this morning, you should be able to figure it out". At this point I was going to remind the semi-slow help that I pay his salary, but I didn't. I gave him my best smirk and just said "Yup, leave it to the government to have tickets with both letters and numbers on them, six different lines, numbers above the lines that look like they're able to change and oh by the way....why are kiosks 5 and 6 'A' instead of kiosks 1 and 2?" I turned around to walk back to the folding chairs to wait my turn. And to be honest, I wasn't mad (yet). I was in complete control. As I sat there thinking about how huge an ass this guy was, I found myself staring at him. Hard. Even though in the battle of wits my howitzer trumped his old board with a nail in it (rusty nail at that), I didn't want him to think he in any way intimidated me. I couldn't believe what jolted me out of my haze of cleverness....."What are you staring at?". Oh No He Didn't. I said "Excuse me?" He reiterated his question. "Space", I replied. "Don't stare at me, you're not allowed to stare at me". Now, I admit, I did have a George Costanza moment. Had I had my "A" game on me, I would have replied "I'm trying to figure out if your hair is 'Aruba Sunshine' or 'Dandelion Yellow'. But I didn't have my "A" game. He surprised me actually by continuing the exchange. I went with "Dude, what's your problem? I'm just trying to get in the right line and get out of here." You won't believe the answer. "No, you got your answer, and then you gave me shit". I started to laugh this time. I turned around and almost asked for a show of hands at how many people heard that. "Nice language. Very articulate, especially in front of all these witnesses". I swear I heard a cricket. It seemed like 2 or 3 seconds and then the regular sounds of the office started up again. An older gentleman called my number soon after and as I walked towards him, he winked at me and said "Now it's your turn , buddy". He was nice as pie to me and then it hit me....I think he was glad I said something back to this ass clown. He has to work with him everyday, two desks down. Ugh. I called him "Sir". I was very friendly. I thanked him, shook his hand and turned to leave. There was a little devil sitting on my left shoulder. He was like "flick him off.....see if he'll blow his stack....get him fired". I was like, "shut up little devil dude, you're getting me in trouble". He whispered "He started it, yo. Go tell him he's lucky you didn't break your foot off in his ass". "Nah little devil dude, my wife won't like it if she has to bail me out of jail over something this stupid." Tell him we should be able to do this online and he shouldn't have a job! I almost turned to him and said "Hey man, you have a good day" but I didn't. As I walked back through the now crowded room, I counted no less than 3 people nod their approval at me. Still A. Wife thought maybe I should have got his name and called Harrisburg but what's the point? I think the fact that he completely lost his cool and I stayed relatively calm was a win.

DOG: Winged Wildcat

You have no doubt noticed a formation being used by a great many NFL teams lately called the "Wildcat" formation. It's resurgence started when Miami defeated New England earlier this year by using this formation and a direct snap to Ronnie Brown who had a field day with it.

When I saw it I said, "Man, that ain't nothin' new. Looks like the old Single Wing to me." So in order to validate my point I started to do some research on the Wildcat. It did indeed validate some points I was making while arguing with the football illiterate here in Crab Cake city. But I learned a whole lot more.

First thing I learned is that almost all offensive formations have evolved from some variant of the single wing. The Wishbone (Darrell Royal at Texas), the Veer (Johnny Majors at Pitt), are variations that were used to win national titles. Even the T-formation which replaced it is a variation. Knute Rockne used to line up his Notre Dame team in a T formation and shift to the single wing prior to the snap thus inventing "men in motion." In fact, things like the triple option, and the naked bootleg have their origins in the single wing.

The single wing was first invented by Glenn "Pop" Warner to give the undermanned undersized Carlisle Indians the ability to compete with the great football teams of the day in 1907. And also to take advantage of the very unique skills of his best player, Jim Thorpe. And indeed, the Carlisle Indians were among the best if not the very best football team in America as a result. Details of this fact can be explored in a book I highly recommend called The Real All-Americans which is a history lesson that goes much deeper than football.

Paul Johnson used a variation of the Single Wing at Navy which produced one bowl team after another for the last 5 or 6 years. He just rung up nearly 500 rushing yards on the Miami Hurricanes with it on Thursday night with his new team, Georgia Tech.

Jock Sutherland won two national championships at Pitt in 1936 and 1937 using it. And Sutherland installed it as his primary offense when he took over as coach of the Steelers in 1946. The old-timers will insist the Steelers would have won an NFL title with it after reaching the playoffs in 1947 had Sutherland not died suddenly in 1948. The Steelers were the last pro team to use it as their primary formation as late as 1953.

Pretty much any play that starts with a center snap that is "tossed" rather than "handed" is considered a single wing formation. So that makes the Shotgun formation, first used by the 49ers in 1960, a single wing variant. The single-wing is an unbalanced formation with more men on one side of the ball than the other. A balanced version with equal players on both sides is called the Double-Wing. It's objective is to fool the defense with ball movement and men-in-motion as well as create double team blocking at the point of attack.

Back in the early days when running the ball was paramount, the single-wing or one of it's descendants was used by practically everyone. But a fellow down at TCU, coach Dutch Meyer, started spreading the wingbacks out as flankers and slot men to create greater passing opportunities out of the formation. This is evidence that Rich Rodriguez did not invent the "Spread" offense that is so prevalent in college football today. It's been around since the 1950s.

Yeah, the Spread is the passing version of the Single Wing! The difference is that in the original Single-Wing the Quarterback was the primary blocking back whereas the Tailback or Fullback were generally the players who handled the ball. Although a direct snap to any of the three was not uncommon.

With the increasing popularity of the Wildcat offense I predict we will see a shift to this style of offense in the NFL. Why? Because high schools and colleges all across the country are using it. And a plethora of talented young players are entering the NFL with the skills to make it work .

I submit to you our own Dennis Dixon could run a Spread or Wildcat series for the Steelers. Darren McFadden (a single-wing high school QB) already runs it in Oakland and did some at Arkansas too. Almost any team has a player capable of taking a direct snap, reading a defense and either running or distributing the ball. Antwaan Randle-El would be perfect. And in college you have Pat White at West Virginia and Tim Tebow at Florida who would be great Wildcat tailbacks. Well, Tebow, I guess, would be more of a fullback.

Someday we'll come full circle. But you read it here first. The Wildcat is here to stay!

DOG: Haluski for the Dog!

This week I had the pleasure of enjoying, for the first time in many a year, a dish that somewhat defines who we are as Western Pennsylvanians. I'm talkin' 'bout Haluski, baby!

Some claim Haluski to be a Polish dish, others say it's of Slovak origin. My Grandmother used to make it and she was German. But one thing for sure. There ain't any shortage of folks with those ethnic backgrounds in the Greater Pittsburgh area. And there is of course various ways it can be prepared, so maybe it's all the above.

It's pretty much just homemade noodles and cabbage cooked with butter and onions and whatever else your ethnic slant calls for.

We had sort of a pot-luck Thanksgiving luncheon (that lasted 3 days) at my work on Tuesday. When I saw a crock pot full of that stuff I got so excited I felt the blood rush to my groin! And of course 90% of the knuckleheads I work with didn't know what it even was. But I have the good fortune of working with a lady from Latrobe who brought it in. And we had a good laugh that nobody knew what it was but us. It was the ass kickin'est thing we had among a bunch of cassaroles etc. Whipped the ass off the Kielbasa Jambalaya I brought in.

And the moral of the story is Yinzers trump Baltimorons in the kitchen as well as at the football stadium.

FAN: Tortfeasor

What the hell is a tortfeasor? It sounds like a villain in a bad movie. "Jimmy, if you don't do your homework, the Tortfeasor will get you."
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Fan: Cut Ernster

I could find a one-legged cripple with a club foot who can punt farther than this nancy girl. I'm pretty sure my nine year old daughter can too.
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Fan: What shall we call him?

Still A. Dog or Stilladog? While the end credits of each post say who wrote what, to make it more obvious, maybe we'll tag each Title with "Fan:" or "Dog:". And if you're wondering about the related comment I made....The Dog is actually Still A Dad's first cousin, but he's my brother from another mother. If you take the age difference between me and pops and divide it by two, that is where the dog resides.

Still A. Dog To Write

Bitching and moaning constantly that I have tailed off in the writing department and that there was a void in cyberspace has caused the inevitable - Still A Dog will no longer just comment and guest post......he is now an unedited writer and contributor to Steel City Slant. My God.....what have I done? I have waxed poetic lately about how I don't have that much free time anymore with my little swimmer constantly getting shuttled to meets and practices. I think I'm working more at my "real" job lately and 4th grade homework is no joke. I still maintain www.wealthblocks.com but I'm reconsidering that at the moment as well. I am currently building another site that I hope draws more attention (read "ad clicks") than my previous attempt. I'd like to get back into consulting with www.webplunk.com as well and I even have a client lined up that I keep blowing off because I don't have time to do what she wants. So yes, all of this has contributed to my lack of posting lately. I haven't done a new comic in a while and I used to really enjoy that. Still Moor has been asking me for another drum track for a while and I haven't been able to do that yet. I figure the addition of Dog will allow us both to comment on each other while sharing what's going on in our somewhat related brains. Scary....I know. I still think Still A. While should consider my offer as she's definitely one of the snarkiest and smartest peeps I know. A girl's perspective would be nice. Up in the photo we have left to right....Still A. Dad, Still A Dog, Yours Truly and the Uncle of all Uncles....Still A. Unc. In fact, while The Dog can now post "at will", if anyone with a "Still A" moniker wants to write a guest piece for me to post - let me know and I'll post it for you.

That's My Grill

Chad done stole my grill! WTF? Steeler fans, if we've ever needed to not play down to the competition, tonight is the night. With the Patriots, Cowboys, Ravens and Titans lined up - we really need this win. If we smack the Bengals and Browns around and split the other 4 games mentioned above - we'll be 11-5 and win the division. At 10-6, maybe the Ravens tie us. If they win the next game against us, I'm not sure who would win the tie breaker. Winning tonight will certainly make things a lot easier. The Bungles are still the Bungles, but Marvin has challenged them to win out. Chad is sitting because he's selfish, but they may play better as a team without him. He's a poor man's Dennis Rodman. He said when he came into the league he was the best wide receiver in his family, taking a good natured jab at first cousin Keyshawn Johnson. I seriously doubt Chad will last long enough to eclipse the numbers Keyshawn put up. Not only that, Keyshawn typically played hard. Bill Parcells loved him and that's all you need to know about his toughness. Back to tonight's game, I see Ben having time to throw and I think tonight the running game will be back in full force. I want to see "33" smacking some bodies in short yardage situations. Here we go......

Interesting Idea

Hmmm, maybe Steel City Slant should add Dog and While as unedited posters? More content and maybe we could push the readership up over 35. Thoughts?
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Dear Pittgirl,

Heavy Sigh. Curse the person that did this to us......and may their eyes be pecked dry by rabid pigeons.

Are The Pots All Broken

Testing another post with the phone. I wanted to try one with both an image and text. I went to a sushi place for lunch on Friday and this is how they served the tea.
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Beware The Zebra

Wow. That was a close one. That's the kind of close game that we needed to win as we head towards Thanksgiving - the day The Dog calls....reckoning day. The zebras were not kind to us today. Not one bit. No Sir. Not even a little. Not much to say about this week, just some random thoughts. Hines' clip doesn't make sense to me. He has to know he's going to get that flag. After the jaw-breaking incident, you know they are watching his every move when he's blocking. I know a few weeks ago I opined about The Dumptruck catching kickoffs too high and it scared me. A week after I said that he put one on the carpet after doing exactly that. Now he's gone. We won't miss him. I only bring that up because while I think Hartwig is a major upgrade over Sean Mahan - I'm scared to death that he's going to send a shotgun snap over Ben's head at some cruicial point in a game. I'm going to guess that he didn't use the gun much in his past life. Ben always seems to be reaching up for those snaps. Always. Mark my words! Our 3rd and short package stinks right now. Again, I agree with Dog, in the red zone, we may need to start throwing there to stop people from stacking the inside. Either that, or talk Bettis out of retirement. It was about the same type of situation on their march to the Super Bowl when The Bus ran over Brian Urlacher for a key TD. Same type of weather although it snowed a lot more that day. Moore got stuffed like a Thanksgiving Day turkey. The only things missing were mashed potatos and gravy. Not the jarred kind either, real gravy. Ben was sharp the entire game. He had zip when he needed it. I still don't think he needed to sit last week. Last week, he just needed his judgement questioned and a better game called for him. Isn't Troy fun to watch once he has the ball? He's hilarious....all herky-jerky.

Christmas Comes Early As Rooneys Keep Steelers

Finally, some good news. Looks like it will be "The Steeler Way" for the foreseeable future. Thank God I can keep watching football.

Slanted Captions: Lions

"Ummmm, No mom, I didn't see the neighbor's poodle. Frankie, did you see the neighbor's poodle?"

Slanted Captions: Polar Bears

Herb: "Wait, was that Right-Right-Left or Right-Left-Right?"
Maude: "Jesus Herb, It's Right-Right-Left....and stay off my paws!"
Herb (Under Breath): "I'm going to kill the bastards that green-lit Dancing With The Stars"

Blog From The Phone

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Gift Cards For Rebates

I hate companies. Well, most companies. I'm a capitalist at heart and want to like them, but when they abuse or try to scam their own customers, it pisses me off. Who am I currently mad at? Verizon, for one. I am typically a Verizon supporter. I have FiOS internet, FiOS land line, FiOS tv and 2 Verizon wireless phones. Why am I fired up? They tried to get me! Honest. I finally put my Razr (I miss you Razr!) to rest. I had it for close to 4 years and I loved it. It was time. I needed Qwerty. I text and email more than ever on my phone any I couldn't keep doing it with 9 number keys. So, on my new phone I got a $70 rebate. First of all, I HATE rebates. Just make the ffing thing cheaper by $70! Why the rebate? Because they know that a certain percentage of buyers will lose their receipt or completely forget to mail it in. I mailed mine in the day after I bought it. Well, they tried to trump me. Instead of sending a $70 check, they sent a $70 VISA gift card. Why is that trying to screw me? Because again, you cash a check, but you might not use a gift card. You might put it somewhere and forget it. More importantly to them, you might use it for a $48 purchase and then forget about it with $22 left on it....or even $2. Anything less than $70 is a bonus for them. I hate it. I hate the entire idea. The other one? I had PC issues recently and I was on a site to stress the CPU to see what speed it was really running at. While there I saw a tool that I wanted to buy for my machine. It was $29 and change. There was another tool you could add for $9.95 if you bought the original tool. When the buy screen came up, the original tool was the only one checked (from what I could see). I clicked buy and the total was close to $40. I couldn't believe it. When I scrolled back up on that page, they had an anchor put in for the spot on the page that would only show the original tool checked. If you went up a little farther, there was another button that was prechecked for "Add the other tool for only $9.95". Can you believe that? I immediately sent them a nasty email to cancel the order. Get this. To cancel, you have to go to another website that they give the link for. From there, you fill it out and then it takes about a week to get an RMA number. When you get THAT, you have to email their customer service department with the RMA and your user/password. I can't wait to see how many days it takes before it's off my credit card. What a crooked ass company that is. Once I get my money back, I'll post again with the name of the company.

Hey Colts, Here Ya Go

Well, Benny served up today's game on a silver platter. There is no other way to describe it. Without those two picks, and a lucky ass tip (two for that matter) the Colts may not have been in the end zone all day. The defense has to be really frustrated. They easily played well enough to win. Even though my team lost, I have to say, the most troubling thing about today for me was seeing Boomer Esiason for the first time in a long time. I'm trying to watch less and less panel shows and updates and I've been doing OK so far this year. I've added a lot of free hours (well, not really) to my Sundays by only watching a little of the Football Night in America show. I didn't even watch it tonight. However, when I turned on the HiDef to watch the Stillers, I turned it on a few minutes early and Boomer looked as if he swallowed a small child earlier today. His face is so bloated! What the heck? His head looked like a pumpkin for Christ's sake. I hope he's healthy and I'm not making fun of a medical condition. I guess that's what old age does to you. He looks like shit.

Fast Willie?

Is anyone else getting tired of waiting for "Fast Willie" to be healthy? I think his new nickname should be "Last" Willie....as in how long will he last this time.

Weiners and Bergers

Ok, so as it turns out, we're going to be alright. I don't see a scenario where the Steelers don't make the playoffs, but I've been wrong before......once. And we all know I hate 99% of NFL talking heads (could Clayton be the exception?) so I didn't even turn on my TV until 8:00 PM on Monday night, and that's because I thought the game started at 8:15. As the roundtable started talking about Ben and the number of times he's been hit this year, Cris Carter opened his big, stupid mouth. He started talking about Ben and how he's been dinged the past couple of years and how they gave him $100 million and his shelf life might be short because if the beating he takes. More on that after this..... He then said he misses a couple of games per year and if he misses 3 games a year over 10 years that's 30 games. Wow. Good job, Einstein. Except you might want to check your facts. Any idiot listening to this drivel now thinks Ben misses 3 games per year. A quick glance at nfl.com is all it takes to see that he has missed exactly 0, 4, 1, 1 and 0 games due to injury in his 5 seasons so far. Six games out of 4.5 seasons is ridiculous in today's day and age. Which brings me back to the other point I wanted to make. Yes, the Eagles and Giants combined for 13 sacks. I'm guessing 3 of them hurt. No "bone crushers". I can't remember him getting rocked to the point where his head snapped violently more than once. This isn't Jeff George getting sacked repeatedly, this is a freaking monster. He also saod that he's been hit from the blind side a lot this year. What? Do they have editors who watch this stuff and report back to them like ESPN used to have "Stat Boy" on PTI? Rarely has he been sacked without seeing the guy coming. It's usually a guy coming free off of a scheme right in his face.....and he usually eludes the first player and then gets hit because he refuses to take a sack. And I use "hit" reluctantly because he usually just gets wrapped up and tackled. The only other point I wanted to make on the game was the sheer numbers Steeler Nation brought forth. Holy God did Daniel Snyder have to shit a brick when he saw that. Especially considering many were in the good seats! Redskins fans must really suck to sell their tickets with a team doing well. What a bunch of losers. If that game was at Heinz, there may have been 1,000 people dressed in red, probably less. I once went to a Houston Oilers game at Three Rivers and I swear to God I saw exactly two Oilers fans. Two. That is not a lie. 2.

Thug Life

A great time was had Saturday night at the Halloween party we went to. The whole family was invited. Mom as a witch. Daughter as a candy corn witch....and me as a thug rapper, complete with a grill held in place with Fixadent. Weird going to CVS and buying Fixadent, but whatever. I tried walking around Friday night with my candy corn witch using bubble gum to hold the grill in place, but it didn't work out so well. Eating was a chore so I took them out for about an hour, but it just wasn't as funny without them so I quickly put them back in. At the party we had Darth Vader, Princess Leia (a dude), Uncle Fester, Indy Jones, Amy Winehouse and a host of other characters. Speaking of hosts, the host had a hay ride for the kids using "Big Red" his huge tractor that pulled me out of a mess a few years ago when I got one of his go-carts stuck in the mud. The house was full of fog and there were 2 fires outside. Didn't want to leave but had a swim meet at 7:00 AM on Sunday.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno

So my wife had hot food for a bunch of the neighbors last night as the kids Trick-or-Treated around the 'hood. I went around as the extra candy transporter dressed as a thug rapper complete with gold grill. In the back of my head I wanted everyone gone early as I had a plan for the night....go see the 10:05 Zack and Miri Make A Porno. It's been kind of a tradition with me over the years to see new Kevin Smith movies the night they come out. I've seen the last 4 or 5 in that manner. I have to say, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Maybe I've come to expect too much. Maybe it's because as a 39-year-old I don't talk the same way as the younger generation any more. Don't get me wrong, I can curse with the best of them, but I can also string sentences together without swearing even when I'm with my friends sans the wives. Trust me, the language didn't didn't bother me, it's part of why I like KS, but maybe I'm expecting him to age with me in some manner. My issues were more with the story. Like, I don' believe Zack would clean out his half of the apartment and bolt like he did. How do you know someone since 1st grade and live with them forever and then just leave like that and not talk for 3 months? I also thought the arguement between them before Miri was to shoot with Lester was too brutal....but whatever. It's not that I didn't like it because I did. It's just that I thought a few things didn't add up. Traci Lords looks horrible. Zacks friend was like a poor man's Bernie Mac. I'm not sure why I had to keep seeing Mewe's naked ass and then full frontal nudity at the end. Why was that necessary? The same point could have been made if he was in his boxers. I just hope, I really hope, that those scenes were written that way because it's how Smith feels it would have happened....not because he was trying to shock. I've always enjoyed KS's movies because it's real dialogue. It's how my friends and I used to talk and to some degree still do talk. I'd like to think his writing still flows naturally, not that he's wondering for a week if we need to see Mewes' junk. I did love all the local references to Monroeville and Pittsburgh. There was much love for the Penguins and Steelers in the flick. If I'm going to be honest, I have to give the movie a good solid 7. I just saw Knocked Up again for the third time and it's a good mile better than Z&MMAP. Where does it rank to me in KS's world?

1. Chasing Amy
2. Clerks
3. Dogma
4. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
5. Clerks II
6. Zack and Miri Make A Porno
7. Jersey Girl
8. Mallrats