FAN: Kevin Smith At Philly's Merriam

This isn't my photo and I don't even think it's from last night, but he did change into a bathrobe at some point in the show. Smith came out right at 8:00 and had me in stitches right up until 11:05. The theater had a hard out of 11:00 so he was limited to 3 hours. I've heard he can go on-and-on for hours without stopping. There were still 15 people in line when he ended the show last night. My stomach hurt from laughing. Smith's appeal to me is crazy. He is without a doubt one of my favorite story tellers of all time. I've seen all the movies several times each and own them all. I listen to every podcast. I read the blog. I don't Twitter...... He has an uncanny ability to take any question and make the response entertaining. He can talk any sailor under the gutter yet his IQ probably surpasses the CEOs who ruined the stock market. I can sum up the funniest bit of the night in one sentence: Kevin tells a story of how Bruce Willis cannot be directed. That's eleven words. It took 20 minutes to tell the story. I wish it took 40. I was laughing so hard. I'm not sure I've ever laughed harder. It would be interesting to tally the curses. Some of the things he talks about with his parents are just wrong....but side splittingly funny. He opened telling the very touching sotry of his Dad's last night before he died....how perfect it was..... The way he is able to talk about it is very healthy. Since most of the audience has the same tastes in television and movies, when he says "do you remember that scene in... it was like that" you look around and 95% of the crowd are nodding. His Dad died the night of his last Q&A in Philadelphia and it's the first time he's been back for a Q&A since. A great opening and it just got better from there. Kevin is like asparagus. You either love him or you don't. Rarely any middle ground. I love him. I love some of his movies much more than others - but what he does best is tell stories. If he could bottle that shit, I'd buy a case a week. Go see him, buy his "An Evening With" dvds or go YouTube some of his Q&A stuff. It's classic.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno

So my wife had hot food for a bunch of the neighbors last night as the kids Trick-or-Treated around the 'hood. I went around as the extra candy transporter dressed as a thug rapper complete with gold grill. In the back of my head I wanted everyone gone early as I had a plan for the night....go see the 10:05 Zack and Miri Make A Porno. It's been kind of a tradition with me over the years to see new Kevin Smith movies the night they come out. I've seen the last 4 or 5 in that manner. I have to say, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Maybe I've come to expect too much. Maybe it's because as a 39-year-old I don't talk the same way as the younger generation any more. Don't get me wrong, I can curse with the best of them, but I can also string sentences together without swearing even when I'm with my friends sans the wives. Trust me, the language didn't didn't bother me, it's part of why I like KS, but maybe I'm expecting him to age with me in some manner. My issues were more with the story. Like, I don' believe Zack would clean out his half of the apartment and bolt like he did. How do you know someone since 1st grade and live with them forever and then just leave like that and not talk for 3 months? I also thought the arguement between them before Miri was to shoot with Lester was too brutal....but whatever. It's not that I didn't like it because I did. It's just that I thought a few things didn't add up. Traci Lords looks horrible. Zacks friend was like a poor man's Bernie Mac. I'm not sure why I had to keep seeing Mewe's naked ass and then full frontal nudity at the end. Why was that necessary? The same point could have been made if he was in his boxers. I just hope, I really hope, that those scenes were written that way because it's how Smith feels it would have happened....not because he was trying to shock. I've always enjoyed KS's movies because it's real dialogue. It's how my friends and I used to talk and to some degree still do talk. I'd like to think his writing still flows naturally, not that he's wondering for a week if we need to see Mewes' junk. I did love all the local references to Monroeville and Pittsburgh. There was much love for the Penguins and Steelers in the flick. If I'm going to be honest, I have to give the movie a good solid 7. I just saw Knocked Up again for the third time and it's a good mile better than Z&MMAP. Where does it rank to me in KS's world?

1. Chasing Amy
2. Clerks
3. Dogma
4. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
5. Clerks II
6. Zack and Miri Make A Porno
7. Jersey Girl
8. Mallrats

New Kevin Smith Trailer - Zack and Miri

Just when I haven't Jones'd to see in a new movie in some time, I got this nugget tonight. I love me some Kevin Smith (as you know). Like it isn't weird enough I ran into him and his daughter in Philly while filming Jersey Girl, Still A Dad's neighbor across the street has worked on several ViewAskew films as the Construction Coordinator and got a mention on KS's podcast a while back. The trailer is funny. The man is so articulate and intelligent, yet he writes the best potty humor around....because it's not just potty humor....it's "smart" potty humor (if that makes any sense). It would be hard to defend him to some - but if you really "get" him, you get him. He just happens to talk a certain way, and in reality, it's a beautiful thing because he's not fronting for anybody. He's brutally honest on his blog and in his podcasts and it's just who he is, minus the act. I wish more people could be like that.

How Stupid Do You Have To Be?

Dude, if you are going to try to be funny in front of 1,000's of people, you should not attack the wittiest person on the planet. I give you, my hero.....Kevin Smith. Not Safe For Work!

George Lucas Just Wasted Another 2.5 Hours Of My Life

As much as I loved the first Star Wars trilogy, I have to be honest and say I hated the latest trilogy. I just finished watching Revenge of the Sith on HBO this morning and I was so disappointed I can't even articulate it. I say finished because I started watching it last night at 11:00 pm but I was so disinterested I went to sleep at 12:15 knowing I could catch the ending later. The acting is atrocious. The dialogue is terrible (as always) and special effects have advanced so much since 1976 it's hard to impress anyone anymore. A cheaply made movie on TV can have the same effects that a Lucas movie has. I read a rumor a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away that said Star Wars may come to TV and Kevin Smith may "own" the project. That would certainly restore some luster for me. Two of my favorite franchises working together. Maybe 5 years from now when everyone's disappointment fades Lucas could hire Kevin Smith to write and direct the last 3 chapters of the saga. I can't even go into details about everything I didn't like about this movie as it would take the rest of the day. All I can say in a nutshell is that it was totally uninspired. The only lines delivered in the entire film that I believed to be real were the lines Obi Wan screamed at Vader as he lay dying. Samuel L. Jackson should be ashamed to even be associated with this group of actors. He is the lone "real" actor in my opinion - much like Liam Neeson in the last two. It's still hard for me to see Samuel L. Jackson die without calling someone a "mother-hubbard". Egad.....I watched Nanny McPhee with my daughter last night and if you held a gun to my head and forced me to watch either of them again....I'd choose Nanny McPhee. That's pretty sad coming from someone who slept on Star Wars sheets, collected the action figures, cards, models, posters and everything else until a few years after Return of the Jedi debuted. It's a sad day in the galaxy. Save us Kevin Smith....