FAN: Wilcots = Dumb

Troy makes a pick and walks off gingerly. The Steeler's offense has the ball. While the Steelers are driving, Solomon Wilcots opines that Polamalu could be injured again. He said something like "he left the game after the pick and hasn't returned...". Wow. Really? Does that have anything to do with him playing DEFENSE and the DEFENSE hasn't been on the field since the pick?

FAN: Steelers Scrape By

Well, we survived another week. It looked like we were on automatic today. Nothing special. Is it too hard to get up for the Lions minus their QB and their best wide receiver? We still couldn't even cover. Whatever. I have no comments about their play. I have comments about the announcing. That may have been the worst announcing job by a team of professional analysts that I've ever heard. Is Enberg still alive? He's horrible! Fouts? Fooey. They sucked. Individually and as a team. Enberg kept droning on and on the entire game about Detroit declining a penalty after they kicked a FG that would have been close to a first down. He wouldn't shut up about it. Hasn't he ever heard that you don't take points off the board. Where was Fouts to at least express that point of view? He kept droning on and on like it was a travesty they didn't at least look at the measurement. WHat if they wipe the points and then lose 8 yards on the next play you dolt? What if they fumble or throw a pick six? It's hard in the NFL to take points off the board especially when it puts you ahead of the defending Super Bowl champs. Shut it. What a humdrum game. I almost fell asleep. I had more fun watching Denver come back and beat the Patriots.

Boo Bob, Boo

Did anybody hear Bob Costas say "There's Henry Kissinger negotiating his way to his seat". Sly, Mr. Costas, sly.

Sink Your Teeth Into This

Marv Albert "backed" into the role of the best announcer for the Super Bowl by showing some emotion during the Eli Manning to David Tyree pitch and catch....something Joe Buck failed to do. Awful Announcing sunk their teeth into this story and did a great job as I was thinking the same thing while watching. I work with a die-hard Giant's fan and he swore on Monday morning the announcing was slanted against the G-Men. Marv's version definitely had more bite. Sorry.

Shannon Sharpe

I saw the halftime show during the Chargers / Patriots game today. I was surprised because usually - I don't agree with anything Shannon Sharpe says. Today however, he had a quote that actually made sense so I thought I'd share it with you incase you missed it. They were talking about Rivers potentially being yanked and Shannon said "Dooba Booba Uoooba Foooba Nooooba. Iba Doooda Goooba Mooomba Wooomba Loona Duna. Da Booda Toopa Philba Roomba Soonba Zoonda." Well said. I couldn't agree more.

Rats

Well, the way our defense is playing, I don't think we can compete for the Super Bowl anyway - but Willie Parker being done for the season kind of puts another nail in the coffin. You might not want to believe that at first since Najeh had a good night, but he is too "hot and cold" for me. Maybe if Tomlin can get in his head and make him into an animal overnight.... Maybe he's a guy that needs to be "the man" and he couldn't do that behind Willie so now he'll shine? We'll soon see how tough he is playing against Baltimore in Baltimore. I just wish we had another back who has some speed. None of the other guys are burners, that's for sure. So, what did we learn tonight? Let's kick out some thoughts in no particular order.

I learned that the game (and a lot of other things) can be watched of www.channelsurfing.net even if it isn't on in your area. I'm going to continue to monitor this service to see if I still need to get Direct TV, although it's tough to curl up on the couch to watch a computer monitor. I have Verizon Fios for my phone and internet, but I can't get the TV because I need NFL Ticket to see my boys.

We cover about 1 out of 10 kicks the way a kick should be covered. The other 9 are like "oh shit....oh shit....get him...GET HIM.....shit!....". I'm getting sick of it. Bring back Chidi Owouma! I saw Anthony Smith running like he was a blocker for the ball carrier once instead of turning around and popping him. Did you see that? I backed up the DVR to confirm my suspicion and I was right. He is a raw talent that can hit. He needs to be taught so many other things.

My wife actually sat down tonight and watched 30 minutes of the game with me. First time this year she was there for the beginning of a game. It took her all of 6 minutes to ask "why can't they protect Ben?" When he got buried again 2 minutes after that question and we both "Ooooo'd" at the same time she was all like "he should be mad at them". Yeah. I wouldn't be buying the line Rolex watches for Christmas this year if I was him. I'd be buying them some steroids and/or HGH. The pressure continues to come from everywhere....up the middle...on the edge.... We don't have the ability to stop a pass rush and they refuse to max protect in certain situations. I guess Ben being 6'5" and well past 240 has something to do with that.

Rossum played well tonight minus the one muff. Ha Ha....I said "muff". He had a few decent runs after making the catch tonight.

Hello Nate Washington! Way to squeeze the pigskin, baby!

Hello Ike Taylor!! Pick-6! After failing to stop most passes that came his way tonight, he latched onto one and took it home. Good job. Stopping Bruce is a tough assignment for anyone. DeShea played well too as Torry Holt was madder than a hornet most of the night.

I don't think Sean Mahan is the man at center that we thought he was. Look for other experiments next camp.

Troy Polamalu is an outstanding talent and it's tough to critique anything he does, but is it just me or does it seem like he whiffs more times than not when he dives headfirst into people's legs? Would he be better off staying on his feet and meeting the ball carrier and holding them up waiting for help rather than going low and missing? Maybe he should just get in their way and get low and take the blow or wait a second longer before exploding into them, but from what I see, he launches too early giving the ball carrier time to make a slight adjustment and get around him. I don't know. It's tough to say. It just seems like that on a lot of longer runs and yards after a catch, I see a "43" come flying into the screen only to exit the screen quickly as the ball is still being advanced.

Nice fake punt! Danny has an arm!

Dick LeBeau needs to come up with a scheme this week to sack whatever shitty quarterback the Ravens throw out there about 8 times. The defense needs some confidence. The Ravens offense should provide it. We need to relearn punishing a quarterback and this is the week to do it.

And lastly, what the heck with Deion and Marshall in the booth? Where was Collinsworth? I'm not a huge fan of Chris Collinsworth, but compared to most people available today, he's in the upper echelon of announcers....especially for color during games. Deion and Marshall would let Bryant make the call and then they would go silent. When they did talk, I had a hard time understanding every word they said. Neither has a career in announcing. I don't enjoy either of them on NFL Network type programming, let alone doing a live game. Deion still thinks it's all about him and Marshall is too vanilla. Bryant tried to ask questions and tried to get them to follow up comments they made with substance, but substance never came. I'm pretty sure I could have done a better job then Beavis or Butthead.

Bryant Gumble = Smart Guy

Oh, this is rich. Watching the Packers play the Cowboys tonight gave me a good laugh. First of all, the hoopla surrounding another regular season game is crazy. They had a countdown to kickoff when I turned the game on at 8:00 PM. They were trying to make it out to be a mini playoff game. Mr. NFL Network, Rich Eisen, claimed that the winner of the game would "virtually be playing every playoff game at home up till the Super Bowl". If they are both 10-1 and this is the 12th game, there are still 4 weeks left. The winner of this game could easily go 2-2 couldn't they? To say "virtually" there is very misleading. Anyway, on to Bryant. Gumbel looks at Collinsworth leading up to kickoff and says "Cris, the Packers are near the top of the league in passing and dead last in running, how are they getting it done?"

I swear I heard crickets.

Collinsworth: "umm, with their passing game."

What else is he supposed to say????????? So, here's the best part. I think every time I've mentioned Bryant Gumbel on this site - I've made a comment about him being more white than half of my friends. I searched Google images to find a recent picture of him to use here and the one I posted is from HBO's site (my lawyer says to put here that I'll take the photo down if HBO requests it). When I right-clicked on the picture to save it, the name of the image came up:

bryant_gumbel_white_bg

No kidding!!! Bryant Gumbel White Black Guy!!!! Oh, that means white background? Crap. White Black Guy is much funnier.

Networks Are Cowards

I complain all the time about sports analysts trying too hard to be funny. It doesn't work. From Keith Olbermann trying to be witty to Tony K trying it in the booth - it doesn't work. You put 4 or 5 guys around a table and they all start laughing over nothing. It's probably a nervous laugh for who is going to get fired next. Anyway, ESPN invited Jimmy Kimmel into the booth on Monday. He's funnier away from his show than he is on it. He was great on The Man Show and he's one of Howard Stern's best guests (slightly better than his girlfriend Sarah Silverman). He had some hilarious one-liners and I actually laughed out loud at a couple of them. The network, however, thought they were inappropriate and he probably won't be back. So, for the record, the analysts themselves try to be funny and fail, so real comedians are brought in to be funny (and they succeed), yet maybe they offended somebody so now they can't come back. Who was offended? Joe Theismann? F him, he was horrible anyway. If you're going to bring someone on who has a penchant for being bitingly witty - you better tell him which subjects to lay off of. If not, you deserve to see Janet Jackson's boobies again. Get it?

Another Ass Hat

Am I missing something? Really, Am I? Keith Olbermann, Mr. Bleeding Heart Liberal Puke, is so yesterday's news with the highlight clips. He thinks it's 1991 and he's still funny. Listen, you twit, just tell me what's going on in the clips...better yet, don't, I bet I know the players better than you do. You think the story is you doing the clips. It's not. I don't give a damn about your supposed wit or your supposed IQ. I want my Prime Time back on ESPN with Chris Berman and Tom Jackson. It takes 5 people to do their job and somehow they manage to muck that up. Bob Costas used to be very professional but now they have him out grinding the monkey box punching a John Madden parody on FOX earlier in the day and then faux falling all over his lover, Keith. Please. Tiki Barber is OK I guess, but I've never liked Chris Collinsworth and Jerome Bettis doesn't really add any real insight...at least not yet anyway. Can everybody please stop being so cutesy? Like I need Keith and his vocabulary to tell me about the Jets fans cheering Pennington's injury. Shut the bleep up you smug smug smarmy smug man. Damn. Shut up.

Analyst Shmanalyst

I cannot understand a goddamn word that Shannon Sharpe says. Not a goddamn word. How does he keep his job? I'd rather have his screaming brother on the set...oh yeah...that won't matter next week because I'm turning on the TV at 12:59. These guys ruined my enthusiasm for the beginning of the season. ESPN had a countdown for the kickoff at 45 minutes or so out. Huh? Some comments: Chris Berman is a caricature of himself at this point. At least he's tolerable. Mike Ditka can't complete a sentence. He starts them...just doesn't finish them. Keyshawn Johnson is actually pretty good. I'm pleasantly surprised. Tom Jackson knows more than anybody on TV. I'd love to sit down and talk football with him. He's very knowledgeable. Emmitt Smith is a flaming idiot. An idiot, I say. I would love to know what his IQ is. I'm guessing about 10 points above mentally challenged. He just opined for 5 minutes on why the Chargers will have to wait 2 years to win because when you get a new staff it takes that long for everyone to get on the same page even though they have all kinds of talent. Keyshawn looked at him and asked what happened in year one when Barry Switzer took over for Jimmy Johnson. Apparently Dumb Emmitt wasn't ready for that question because he looked like normal - a deer caught in the headlights. On to CBS....I already spoke about Shannon...I think he has pictures of the head of CBS. Dan Marino is "Ok" I guess, nothing special. Bill Cowher took it easy today and didn't say much. Boomer Esiason thinks he owns the set. He's pretty knowledgeable, but he talks too much. CBS is also copying "Jacked Up" by having the McDonald's "Pounders". Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Cowher picked the Vikings as his surprise team and said the QB reminds him of Kordell Stewart. Yes, he said exactly that! My goodness. When they went out to the guys doing the games...I almost laughed at Dan Dierdorf. He looks more and more like a St. Bernard every year. I think I heard him "Woof!". The FOX staff is decent, but they laugh too much at stupid stuff that isn't even funny. Howie is the best of the crew, Bradshaw is decent, Jimmy Johnson is turning into Ditka. Oh well, on to the games.

Peter King Going Where No Pundit Has Gone Before

Like I've stated many times before, the guy has lost all credibility with me this year. However, it's still fun to read his columns to see what he's going to come up with next. This week, in his Offensive Player Of The Week award - he's giving it to Mark Brunell - who didn't play a single down. That's right ladies and gentlemen, not one single down. What did he do that was so great? One of Washington's coaches told Peter that he played Drew Brees on the scout team really well. I'll let you go back and read that sentence one more time to let it sink in. I think Peter gets so caught up talking about his Iraq buddy, his daughter, Rutgers, Tom Brady, Bill Belichek, coffee, baristas, airplanes, hotel gyms - did I mention Tom Brady - Drew Brees, did you hear there was a hurricane in New Orleans last year, House......he forgets why he has the audience he has. Football. He's becoming one of the idiots that talks in soundbites and opinions and never really backs anything up. Ok, Peter, go back and look at all the offensive performances again and then explain to me how Mark Brunell can be offensive player of the week. I just named your article the dumbest "football" article of the week.

Gumbel Doesn't Do It For Me

I'm not sure America's whitest black man should be doing NFL games for the NFL Network. Bryant Gumbel is good at some things. His intelligent and thoughtful voice is best left sometimes to what I call "quasi-news". He is good on his HBO show about peripheral sports stories and he was OK I guess on the national morning show he did for so many years. That's what he does. When I think of him as an announcer, I think the best job for him is the fluff pieces they do on the athletes for the Olympics. That's vastly different from calling a football game. Two examples of this stuck out like a sore thumb to me last night. The first was when he was telling the story of how the Browns' QB's wife got initiated so to speak into the spouse's club last week when he was called to duty in the middle of the game due to Charlie Frye getting hurt. Gumbel said something that made me cringe and he not only said it once, he said it twice! He started this gem off by saying "I heard a cute story.......". Collinsworth broke in to say something about the action on the field and then Bryant started again "I heard a cute story....". Listen, all over America there are guys...big guys....big manly man guys.....sitting in recliners eating potato chips and drinking bad beer that are waiting to hear something intelligent about what the offense is trying to do to the defense and what the defense is doing to try to stop it. We don't want to hear a Bryant Gumbel "cute" story about the QB's wife up in the stands. If you do have to tell it, please don't start it off in that whiny voice like you're talking to three old ladies over tea. Bryant is a poser in this regard and he does it all the time on his HBO show. When he wants to ask a question and add emphasis, he'll take off his glasses and put one of the arms in his mouth or something. I think he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. He crosses his arms....furrows his brow. He's almost like a Ron Burgandy caricature sometimes. The second thing he said that made me laugh was his use of the word "attitudinally". Remember the big guy in the chair drinking beer? He doesn't like his football announcers asking single worded questions while overemphasizing the raising of their voice pitch at the end of the word to that of a 12-year-old boy that just got hit in the nuts while playing dodge ball. That's why John Madden is still on TV and not Dennis Miller. He asked the question in reference to Bill Cowher's mindset. "Attitudinally?". Wow. What a tool.

Peter King Is Off His Rocker

You know what's horrible? When sports pundits have to make shit up just to fill some time. On the advice of Still A. Dog, I've really really really - I mean seriously - cut down on my football pre game watching this year. He finally convinced me of what I knew in my heart 5 years ago but still loved to start watching football at 11:00 AM on Sunday mornings....we know as much as they do. They might have better connections and they might understand the game itself a little more than us...but if you watch or have watched a lot of football games in your lifetime - there isn't much they can say that you don't already know. With every passing year I lose more respect for Mr. King's opinions. I read him in SI and I usually read his "Monday Morning Quarterback" article on SI.com - but more and more - he seems to be writing for the casual fan that might not question alot of what he's been writing about. He recently wrote in a MMQB article that Nick Saban is one of the top 5 coaches in the NFL. He was called out on it the following day by about every loyal reader he has. Instead of owning up to making a mistake - he changed his logic for saying why he said it. Well, I was watching the last 10 minutes of HBO's NFL show today while waiting for Madagascar to start and he was comparing the trade for Eli Manning that the Giants made to the Herschel Walker trade from the Cowboys to the Vikings. He went through the players that the Chargers got, and then had the audacity to compare it to the Herschel Walker trade! Yes, he did! I think it's a tad early to be comparing Eli Manning to Herschel at the end of his career. Don't you think? And why even have that little 2 minute commentary before you can safely evaluate it from all angles? I'll tell you why. He's a Charger lover. Just like he's a Bill Parcells lover. Just like he's a Tom Brady and Bill Belichek lover. He is losing his cred with serious football fans every time he makes a statement like that instead of just telling us about the week in football and getting us good info from his sources. I'm not a Manning family fan, but I'll take his side in this debate for now. If the Giants win a Super Bowl and the Rivers lead Chargers do not - will he take that back? The only thing that can be compared in those trades is that one of the teams in each was able to fill a lot of needs quickly. Hershel was supposed to take an already good team over the top and failed. Eli was brought in to grow into the role of team leader and be there for 10-15 years.

Why Doesn't Anyone Check The Facts?

You know what I hate? When NFL talking heads gather around and start to spout off without knowing their facts. The ESPN Sunday Countdown show is usually the show I watch, but I'm starting to winder if I should check out Rich Eisen's show or potentially watch one of the network shows before the games start. The guys just sit around and say whatever they feel like saying without any fear of being called to the carpet on the facts. ESPN allows Micahel Irvin to just sit there and spout off at a high volume like whoever talks the loudest is the most right. What got my ire today? The Steeler vs. Bengals game was being discussed and Michael said that if you stay physical with the Steelers through 4 quarters they will fade away. Really? Based on what? Based on WHAT? Last week? Are the Bengals physical? What a ridiculous statement. So, to add insult to injury, Chris Berman drops this nugget - The Steelers can win when they score in the 20's, but if they score into the 30's, they will probably lose the game because that's not how they play. REALLY? Geez, Chris - let's pull up last year's results. Here are the results of games in which the Steelers scored 30 or more points:

34-7 beat Titans
34-21 beat Browns
38-31 lost Bengals
41-0 beat Browns
35-21 beat Lions
31-17 beat Bengals
34-17 beat Broncos

So, Chris, in games where the Steelers scored 30 or more points last year - they were 6-1. If you throw in their 2 next highest scoring games they were 8-1 as they won 2 games by scoring 27 points. 27-7 against Houston and 27-13 against the Bengals. Now I ask you, how on Earth can Chris Berman make a statement like that and not be challenged?

Why Sportswriters Suck...

or maybe a better title would be "Why wire sportswriters suck...". I read with great humor 3 different articles on the Colts signing Adam Vinatieri. Here is a blurb from the Reuters wire:

"Vanderjagt missed a 46-yard field goal in the final seconds of last season's playoffs to hand the
Pittsburgh Steelers a 21-18 win." Ummm, OK Steve Keating in Calgary, did you watch that game? Your lack of football knowledge doesn't even really deserve a response as to how inaccurate that statement is. Hand the Steelers a win? Why don't you ask everyone on the Colt's offensive line if they thought they deserved to win that game. Please. Calgary? You should be writing about hockey, eh?
But wait, there's more. Here is the AP writeup: The beginning states "Indianapolis' Super Bowl hopes ended last season on a missed field goal..(by signing Vinatieri)...the Colts may have eliminated that problem." but the bottom of the article then says "Vanderjagt's career accuracy rate is the best in the NFL." So they lost the most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL and that solved the problem? Fine, Michael Marot, whatever. Adam probably is more clutch, but your article is all over the place and really makes no sense. It's like you cut-n-pasted sentences about these 2 guys from any other article you could find. A better question may be why the league's most prolific offense needs to spend precious cap dollars on a very high-priced kicker when scoring points doesn't seem to be your problem. But that's just my opinion. I'm not a fancy shmancy wire writer or anything........