I Am Pissy Tonight

Everything is just making me so mad. It's starting to look like Andy Reid's two sons may get plea deals. This is crazy. Let me tell you something, if Joe Mugalutz's sons within a 24-hour period pulled a gun on another motorist in a road rage incident and had drugs in the car while a few miles away the other was wrecking into an older women injuring her and later admitting he used heroin that day...and guns and drug paraphernalia turned up in both vehicles...I don't think we'd be talking about plea bargains! Andy is such a swell guy, though. I bet up until last year he would have went on record and said the courts should treat everyone the same. Yeah, until it's your sons acting like 50-Cent and "wanna be" gangstas. They were not acting alone. They know stuff. Everyone knows it. I can just hear the mayor in the DA's ear "we need this to go away....quickly and quietly". The guy who got the gun pulled on him is probably sitting in club boxes this year and the lady is sure to be driving a new Escalade later this month. The system sickens me. Fatty McButterpants probably can't name 3 friends of his kids, where they hang out, what they do.......and look what happens. Now everyone will just kiss and make up and the die-hard Iggle fans will forgive. Crazy. The court system should have to put out a document of everyone else charged with the same things in the past 20 years and what their punishment was whenever a plea bargain is accepted. That way the folks keeping score at home will know if it's a good deal or not. I'm betting "not".

McNabb Too Fragile To Handle Garcia?

The Eagles gave an offer to A.J. Feeley meaning Garcia will probably be let go. Why? I'll tell you why. The Godfather knows his "real" son's fragile state of mind and rather than hear the fans chanting this fall for Garcia if the Birds stumble out of the gate......it's easier to let him go now in the off-season. If I was an Eagles season ticket holder (EEEEEEW! even saying that was weird) , I would vomit (he he) on my invoice and mail it back to Mr. Lurid. Poor Donovan, he can't handle the pressure. In a perfect world he wouldn't be ready for the season to start and Feeley would go 3-0. Deja who?

Billick Needs A Math Lesson

....and since I'm a math major, I'm just the guy to give it to him. I mean really - the man is so smug it makes me want to puke. This is a lesson that my 7 year old daughter could understand......on the first try. Here goes:

The Colts have a historically bad run defense. They give up an average of 173 yards per game on the ground. 173. That's not a typo. That's worst in the league this year and the worst average for a playoff team....EVER. The Ravens called 19 running plays. Let's repeat those facts. Colts = historically bad run defense. Ravens = 19 running plays. I might be able to understand that if they couldn't run the ball, but here are the numbers: Jamal Lewis had 13 for 53. That's 4 point something per carry. Mike Anderson was 4 for 18. That's 4.5 per carry. WHAT? I watched this game with Chrissy TwoCoats and we were BEGGING the Ravens to run the ball. WTF? They threw on first down more than the Colts did I think. At one point in the third quarter they ran on first down and got 8. Ran on second down and got 3. Damn, that was hard. Let's throw the ball! You beat the Colts by keeping Manning off the field. You need long, sustained drives if you want to beat them. Billick got so enamored with McNair that he decided to risk everything by getting cute. Listen, the Colts and Peyton Manning knew that Samari Rolle was the weak link on defense and they KILLED him. No Mercy. Right from the coin toss they went after him and it worked. If I was calling the offense for the Ravens, I would have taken a drive early in the game and not thrown one pass until they force me to punt. The Ravens (and as a Steeler fan I hate to say this) are an attitude team. Running the ball is an attitude. Billick is a moron. McNair is not Peyton Manning. They are two different QBs out of two different molds. McNair is just the glue that holds the team together. He's a manager type. He wins with toughness, not his arm. I really had no vested interest in this game. I hate the Ravens but I'm equally sick of seeing Manning's face as the face of the NFL. The Ravens at least play Steeler football. Had they come out with the game plan they used against us in the first meeting this year - they would have had a much better chance of winning this game. Oh, and maybe more stupid than Billick not running was Andy Reid giving the ball back to the Saints last night with two timeouts and less than 3 minutes on the clock. On 3rd and 10 I'm already assuming it's 4 down territory and just trying to get 6-7 yards to keep them guessing on 4th down. Two coaches that are supposed to be smart making HUGE mistakes last night.....but what do I know?

Lurie: "Signing TO Was A Mistake"

Today's headline in Philadelphia sports comes from Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurid...I mean Lurie. "Signing TO was a mistake." is the main sound bite. The rest is just "blah blah blah team chemistry...blah blah blah character is important...blah blah" kind of stuff. Hmmm, signing TO was a mistake. Wow. That might be the NFL's understatement of the year. In other obvious news this week: Mel Gibson is trying to figure out how he can fire rockets into Israel. After realizing he does not have the capacity to carry out said mission, he instead made prank calls to a local Jewish deli. The newly crowned Miss Universe passed out shortly after receiving the crown. Doctors present at the scene attributed the fainting to the nutritional content of her 3 meals that day which consisted of swallowing air for breakfast, half of a celery stalk for lunch and 2 lines of coke for dinner chased with a Diet Coke. The new Miss U angrily disputed that report saying she ate 3 peeled white grapes around 6:00 pm. Madonna is desperate for attention again as celebrity news has turned to the likes of Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears and J. Lo. Madge has Italy's panties in a bunch because she enters her new concert on a cross wearing a crown of thorns. Yawn. You're like, 47.....can you PLEASE act your age....I implore you. If this stunt fails to bring as much attention as the aging diva desires, her next stunt waiting in the wings will shock you. Obsessed with mixing sex and religious symbolism, she plans to kidnap Suri Cruise, place her in a woven basket, float her down the Mississippi river and bang the hell out of the person lucky enough to find her. Woody Allen is trying to pinpoint the exact drop-off spot so he can set up a camp downriver with infrared lights and motion equipment. When asked if he's that desperate to sleep with Madonna he responded that he thought the finder got to keep and raise Suri until she was old enough to sleep with. When informed this wasn't the case he packed up and went home....after buying some young Asian porn. Seems he didn't even realize Suri was American...or is she? Nobody really knows I guess since she's been locked up in a room and will be until she's 16 by the laws of scientology. Tom Cruise had the world by the nuts 5 years ago and now everyone just thinks he's completely nuts. Full Circle. Funny, isn't it?