FAN: Technically I Own Belimort

On 2/3/2008, I referred to Bill Belichick as Belimort. I recently looked at searches that landed at SCS and one of them was for Belimort. I did my own Google search and found that even though one other person used it, I used it first. When you think about it, if you were to merge Patriot's coach Bill Belichick with any other famous villain - who would it be? It flows so beautifully. Maybe Adolf Hitler, but how could you phrase it? Darth Vader? Same issue. I wish this would catch on and become part of the football lexicon. Just think of the marketing opportunities if Belichick embraced this idea. Even though Disney doesn't make the Potter movies, they do distribute them...don't they? Belimort T-Shirts would fly off the shelves. I can see Patriots authentic jerseys with number '666' on the back and "Belimort"stitched into history. I am hereby petitioning all NFL fans, heck, anybody that reads this, to copy as many football fans as you know with this link. I want to add Belimort to the NFL vernacular. Can't you just see this character stalking the sidelines, breathing heavily through his mouth, turning quickly in disgust after every bad play...... My dream would be for Belimort to be as big as Chucky during the week Mr. Gruden went to the Super Bowl. Voldemort, meet Bill Belichick.....brought to you by Steel City Slant.

FAN: Steelers Destroy Patriots

It was a beautiful day for football, wasn't it? The Patriots smacked around at home. Ahh, everything will be fine in the universe for the next 6 days. Not much to say about the game other than my random musings which begin now: Willie showed a nice burst on his first carry. During the Steeler's first offensive series, shouldn't we have run more? Belichick in hoodie down - stupid, Belichick in hoodie up - stupider. Early in the game, starting a series inside their own 15, after already giving up a pick and a score, we threw three straight times on a three and out. I like Russel and Holmes returning kicks and punts. After Holmes scored on a nice move off a pump fake - Dan Dierdork mentioned it 5 times and yet they failed to show the move on replay. Fat Casey got mad and had a sack 2 plays later....his first of the year. Does that mean he's not trying hard enough the rest of the time? Troy Polamalu's spin move to get an extra 15 yards on his pick was something out of 1940. Sweet. When you are winning 23-10 with 9 minutes remaining and your star RB has a recently healed knee....why is he still in the game? Especially when Moore was doing fine. When was the last time Gillette stadium was empty with 10 minutes to play? When Ike Taylor flipped the ball to Jabar Gaffney after Gaffney's miss, it was the most animated Belimort was all day! That's saying something. Instead of being mad that his defense gave up 180 rushing....he was mad at that??? I laugh at your stupidity. With less than 5 minutes to go you could hear Steeler Nation chanting "Here We Go", music to my ears. Last but certainly not least - Dan Dierdorf said 12 times today that the drops didn't look like they were being caused by the rain. Did you see how hard it was raining? He's a nut bag. When it's raining that hard, it's like a thin coating of oil is on the ball when it's spinning like that. It rained the entire warmup and game....hard. Don't tell me from your dry booth you old coot that the rain had nothing to do with the drops. Nothing? Maybe it was hard to see through....hard to pick up the ball.....rain in your eyes....surprised at just how wet the ball was when it hit you..... DORK!

DOG: Stillers 33, Cheatriots 10 - Game Notes

• Well, well. Seems when Billy B. doesn't have accurate surveilance he becomes far less of a genius. In fact, he looked more like the Notre Dame coach and the Cleveland Browns coach than Vince Lombardi.


• Matt Cassell however does look just like Tom Brady... gay.


• I would take the 15 yard penalty, and the inevitable fine coming from Roger GODdell every time, to knock out a little weasel like Wes Welker. My only question is, why did it take us 'til the second half to knock the piss out of him? Thank you, Ryan Clark!


• That Randy Moss is money. He looked like Jackie Smith in Super Bowl XIII. Dropping the sure TD in the end zone.


• The Silverback is by far the defensive player of the year in the NFL.


• I said back a few weeks ago I'd wait to see what the Stillers brought into Gillette Stadium before I made up my mind. My mind is now made up. We are riding! At least me and my dog (Dog's dog) Mattie are riding. Into the playoffs. Anybody want to join us?


• This is the first time since... well since he called for a QB bootleg on 3rd and 6 in the playoffs last year, that I watched an entire Steeler game without bitching incessantly about Bruce Arians.


• I like Mike Tomlin better with each passing week, win or lose.


• And for all you Tom Brady loving Patriots apologists among our 35 readers: I hope you wore your Patriots jerseys today with pride. You are every bit as pathetic as the Patriot "fans" who abandoned the stadium in the 3rd quarter and left the New England night air ringing with a resounding "Here We Go STEELERS! HERE WE GO!!" as CBS cut over to the Jets-Broncos game.


• Saddle up Stillers, we got some Cowboys to take care of next.

Tom Brady: Blame Belichick

Hey, Tom! How's your knee? Isn't Karma a bitch? Remember last year when Belichick had you in games with a 24 point lead late? When the backup could have been in learning the system and getting some "real speed" snaps? Remember sitting with Belichick in his secret lab going over all the defensive calls of your next opponent that he got from illegal tapings? You don't? Do you know that AFC fans (and probably NFC fans) have been waiting for Belichick to prove he's a genius without you? Waiting so long..... You see, Tom, Bill Belichick wasn't a genius with Cleveland. He sucked with the Browns. Cowher was like 8-1 against him then. He wasn't a genius with Drew Bledsoe at the helm either. No, I think Bill has been riding your coat tails for some time now and I've said it before in the past. Now we're going to see how he does when his star player goes down which hasn't happened to him in a long time. I see the end of a self proclaimed "dynasty" coming. They have stopped drafting well and started hiring mercenaries like Seau and Lynch to name a few....stars in the twilight of their careers. He's done it more and more the past few seasons. I can't wait for Moss to go back to the huddle and chirp at the new guy (who is so nameless I can't remember his name). Oh the bliss in watching Randy yell at him as the team implodes. Sorry Chrissy Twocoats, I don't wish for anyone to get hurt, but that's different from enjoying what may happen now that he has already been hurt. The smugness was gone from his press conference. He looked like a deer in headlights. Now let's see him coach and manage Moss with a QB who won't be asked to win games. I can't wait. And, I hope once other teams get up on them, they continue to pile on the points....and I will love every minute of it. Every second of every minute.....

Disclaimer: If Belichick does coach out his ass and they make the playoffs and win a game, I will be deleting this post from the archives. Nyah!

Death Penalty

This case is open and closed in my book. The story is horrible no matter the age. Parents should break down and cry if their daughter ends up a hooker, not train her to be one. I can't understand the Mom at all. Perfect strangers having their way with your little girl. Maybe the Mom should be locked in a room with a bunch of big, fat, hairy back, non ass wiping, tooth decaying men who can do anything they want to her for a few years. Huh? Oh, you're right. I'm guessing Bill Belichick doesn't want to put his team in the spotlight any more this off season.

Spygate Joke

Spygate as they call it is going to end like it started, like a joke to the commissioner's office. It's been about 4 months since the story broke on Mr. Walsh maybe having a tape of the SB walk through. He's now going to meet and has a handful of tapes, none including the infamous walk through. As all the writers say - it's over. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? They could have raided his house the day after that story and if a tape didn't show up I would still be suspicious. The NFL just wants this story to go away. That's the only way they win. They take a HUGE hit if that tape is ever produced. I'm not claiming it does - how would I know - but JFC - they waited forever to make a deal to get this guy in. Who knows who else he was in contact with. Kraft could have funneled money or benefits to him in any number of ways. This thing stinks, the whole thing stinks. How on Earth can Belimort be trusted? He's a rat. His career is one Tom Brady hit away from being over. As I like to say, he wasn't much of a genius in Cleveland and he wasn't much of a genius with Drew Bledsoe. Tom Brady is probably tired of Bills heels digging into his outer thighs as he rides on his back. Yeah, I said it.

Don't Speak Too Soon

The only reason Dan Rooney is coming out and saying this (too early in my opinion) is probably to help the NFL squash this story and get back to business. If I found out anything by reading Dan's book, all decisions must be for the good of the league. Plus, he was a huge backer of Goodell from the beginning of the selection process and he was the one who got to go to Goodell's room and tell him he was the new commissioner. I really hope Mr. Rooney at minimum made those statements about Spygate without being asked to.

Liar, Liar, Pants On......

Well, Well, Well.....the plot thickens. Seems like the Pats have been taping defensive signals since 2000. Why didn't Goodell give up that information in September? Why does it take Arlen Freakin' Specter to get us that info? The more I hear about this, the more I think there is at minimum a small cover-up. Goodell was trying to protect the sanctity of the league. He's failing. How do we know it was just defensive signals? The other thing is - everyone thought Belimort's punishment was for the one incident against the Jets. If he's been doing it 16 times a year plus playoff games for 7 complete years, that's what, like 125 occurrences of breaking a cardinal rule of the NFL? Chrissy Twocoats, I smell something rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's not Tom Brady's Stetson.

Death Of A Salesman

What a superb day I had today. My princess is a Brownie and of course it's Girl Scout Cookie time across the Nation. No longer do you just bother family, friends and neighbors - you have to sign up to work booths in your neighborhood. My daughter has a craft store booth next weekend and had the Wa-Wa booth today. Next week's booth shift is 2 hours. Today's shift was 4 hours. Since my wife and I are dividing this task between the two of us, I deemed the customers at a craft store to be much safer than the random crowd that stops in at a Quick-Stop type store like Wa-Wa in the morning. Heck, when I was young, sometimes we were stopping at Wa-Wa in the AM for what we wanted folks to think was breakfast, but in reality, we never made it home yet from the night before. I'll never forget the night (morning?) Vailler and myself walked (stumbled) home from The Rat in West Chester and decided we were hungry. We went into a Wa-Wa and came out the proud owners of 2 cans of Chef Boyardee Cheese Ravioli. We made it back to his place and opened the cans and ate the contents at room temperature - right out of the cans. Damn that seems like so long ago yet I remember it very vividly. Anyway, you get my point. There would be a lot of cash involved and my Spidey Sense was telling me I should go. It was about 36 degrees this morning when we started at 9:45 AM but it warmed up to a balmy 42 before we were done. I got bad information from weather.gov and did not dress approriately to be outside for 4 hours. The 5 workers at Wa-Wa bought a combined ONE box of cookies. This is no lie, the 4 of us in the booth bought from Wa-Wa: 5 hot chocolates, 1 44 oz Diet Coke, 1 bag of sour worms, 1 bag of Swedish fish, 1 bagel with cream cheese, 1 Jr. Ham & Cheese Club, 1 Classic Turkey & Swiss, 1 Icee. Did I say they bought 1 box of cookies? Good for them. Anyway, I should have been an anthropologist as I simply love to watch people. From what I could tell, the following groups would all be represented: those who buy happily, those who buy begrudgingly, those who say "No, thank you" very politely and keep going, those who feel they have to tell a lie (I would buy some, but my husband has TagALongOpia and kills puppies and kitties if he eats just one cookie), those who grunt in place of saying "No", those who walk right past without even acknowledging the cute girls who asked very politley, those who notice the girls on the left of the entrance and go out of their way to enter the door on the other side and finally - those who slow down pulling into the lot and then turning and burning rubber at the sight of the familiar sashes around our girl's shoulders. We cut the 4 hours 20 minutes short as we hit 100 boxes plus $10 in cash donations to send boxes to Iraq (for the troops, not the camels). The girls did very well and were very polite. They even said "Thanks anyway" when they were turned down. Since this was my first time selling at the entrance of a store, it gave me great insight for the next time I have to pass a group like this. The thing that is appreciated the most if you don't want to buy? A very upbeat "Aw, thanks, but my ______ is a ________ and I (am selling them myself OR already bought some) but good luck today!". A few people just gave $1 instead of buying. I'm not even sure they realize thats what goes to Iraq. So, the lesson for today - if you don't intend on buying - don't crush these little girls by walking right past them. Karma is a bitch. Ask Bill Belichick.

Belichick Cements Biggest AssClown Ever

I hate him. Hate him, hate him.....hate him. He is so smug. So not gracious. He is...Bill Belimort. If Karma does exist, it showed tonight as the New York Football Giants held the Patriots in check on defense and then delivered the knockout punch with less than 40 seconds to play to win Super Bowl 42. I was kind of happy for Plax. I was happy for Strahan and Osi. That's about it though.....unless you count me thinking it's funny that Tiki slammed the entire organization last year basically. Some random thoughts:

Belichick is such as asshole for not staying out there for the final play. He knew damn well they put one second back on the clock. The ref told him while they were at the middle of the field.

What was Peyton Manning wearing? Could he look cool just once? He's either in his uniform, his ugly gym shorts or dressed like The Captain from Captain and Tennille. He's like a Harvard frat brother or something. When your brother is in the Super Bowl and you are going to watch, you don't have to dress like a banker on a casual Friday...mmmm'K?

The pressure was relentless. I loved seeing Brady get hit and hit often. I'm so sick of watching his games when everything goes his way. America was tired of it. Didn't you just know they were going to score a TD with 3 minutes to go? That's why I hate him.

Did you see the national voting for best Dynasty of all time? The 70's Steelers got 29% of the vote. The 2000 Patriots were last at 14%. I think the 80's Niner's were second. Can't remember the ordering of 60's Packers and 90's Cowboys. First and last was all that mattered to me.

I think if Belimort didn't coach the Patriots they would be liked a lot more by fans of other NFL teams.

Eli stepped up and had a really really solid game. Holy cow are the talking heads going to eat crow tomorrow. Everyone thought the game would swallow him whole.

What a superb game for football fan to watch. One of the most competitive games I can remember watching.

The Giants front 7 is going to be good for a long time, even when Mike hangs them up. Even if that ends up being tomorrow.

Best commercial? Charlie Brown getting the Coke. Tom Petty? Meh.

Are The Patriots Hiring?

If the Pats are currently hiring someone to watch game tape and record the plays of other teams, maybe they can skip all the hard work and just put Cedric to work breaking into other team's facilities? I can't imagine that a playbook would be worth enough to warrant a felony and they should be able to pay him more than what he makes from selling stolen laptops.

Speaking of the AP

Bill Bilermort won the AP Coach of the Year. How in the Mother Hubbard does someone who cheated at their profession turn around and win the best of their profession award? How? How, I ask you? How, How How? What a joke. When you get caught cheating in the Olympics, you get banned and give your medals back. Does anyone else see the injustice here? Furthermore, how many football talking heads will come out against this decision? Probably none, because they would then have no shot to ever interview the genius again. Could someone please remind me why this genius wasn't a genius at Cleveland? If Brady got hit by a truck tomorrow and was done forever - and the Pats won the Super Bowl next year, then I'd think about giving him the stupid award......oh wait, no I wouldn't because he was caught CHEATING the year before!

Please Tell Me They're Kidding

I cannot believe some of the crap I'm reading tonight on this past week in football. Some of it makes me want to fall over laughing, it's that bad. First, here is a snippet from an article from SI.com about Bill Belichick and Spygate after their game Sunday night:

[The Patriots dominated the Chargers 38-14 without the video camera and many of Belichick's players expressed affection for him after the game.

Kraft gave him the game ball.

"I appreciated it. It's a nice gesture. The most important thing is to put that (game) behind us," Belichick said. "It's time to move on."]

Kraft gave him the game ball? Huh? Are you kidding me? He embarrassed the entire organization and forever cast a shadow of doubt on their legacy. For this, he receives a game ball? It just goes to show you that results matter. Wait, results are the only thing that matters.

Next, here is a snippet from Donovan McNabb's appearance on HBO Real Sports where he's talking about black quarterbacks being under more scrutiny than their white counterparts:

[Asked if white quarterbacks such as Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer are held to the same standards, McNabb replied: "Let me start by saying, I love those guys. But they don't get criticized as much as we do. They don't."]

You Ass Hat! The mistake you are making is putting yourself at their level. Ask freaking Rex Grossman if white quarterbacks get scrutinized enough. Better yet, ask Charlie Frye who got cut after one bad performance this year. The balls of this guy to make that statement. The balls! Ask Joey Harrington about critics. Ask David Carr. What a giant moron he is. Don't make me laugh.

Peter King Surprises Me

By writing this today. He actually did the right thing and I didn't think he would. I still wouldn't be surprised if King called him and said something like "you know I have to grill you, right?".

Cheaties!

I went to SI.com tonight to see what all was written about the Patriot's spy scandal. Every writer for the NFL had a short story and Dr. Z had a long one. They all questioned a lot of things and condemned the practice with the exception of course of Peter King. His article just stated the facts and had no opinions or denouncements. Why? He's Bill's lap dog, that's why. He knows Belichick will cut him off from future endeavors. What a wuss.

Me, On King

I started this blog as a way to spew my Steeler rants and raves without emailing them out every time I felt the need...which got to be pretty often. Since I know some of you guys read Peter King as well, I thought I'd write a tribute article this week. Sort of like when a band named "Black Diamond" plays nothing but Kiss songs. And I know Still A Dog will protest and say that I should just stop reading......I can't. I'm like a west coast granola eating liberal who can't stop watching The O'Reilly Factor just so they have something to complain about. For every three or four 7-page articles I read...I take away 1 or 2 sentences that are actually worth my while. I know this...... as a TV commentator, he's not even a good magazine writer. So, if you read his MMQB and MMQB Tuesday Editions every week, you'll "get" the article. If you don't read him, this won't make a lot of sense to you but you still may find it amusing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-New York

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Me Dungy Peyton Called Brady Tom Peyton Me Called Tom Manning Peyton Archie Tom Pats Colts Colts Pats Tom Brady Peyton Manning Tom Colts Pats Chargers Tom Brady Manning Me Dungy LT Tom Peyton Manning Belichick Walsh Colts Pats Brady Chargers Brees Saints Katrina Brady Peyton Peyton Tom Belichick Me Dungy Tom Brady Hookers Brees Saints Manning Dungy Me Dungy Peyton Iraq McGuire manning Tom Brady Hookers Iraq McGuire IEDs Brady Manning Peyton Saints Dungy Suicide Katrina Brady Tom.

The Fine Fifteen
1. Pats
2. Colts
3. Red Sox
4. Pats (2nd String)
5. Chargers
6. Pats (Practice Squad)
7. Colts (2nd string)
8. Ravens
9. Chargers (2nd String)
10. Cowboys
11-15. Doesn't even matter

Quote of the Week I

"Peyton Manning can beat you with one hand, his left" - Peter King

Quote of the Week II

"Tom Brady hopping on one foot is a close second" - Peter King

Quote of the Week III

"Fools, The other 30 starting QBs, all of them. Bring me a donut." - Peter King

The Award Section

Offensive Player of the Week - Peyton Manning.

Defensive Player of the Week - Tom Brady for allowing the Pats D to practice so well during the week against his brilliant performance as Chad Pennington.

Factoid That May Only Interest Me - I have a strange attraction to Tom Brady and somehow know I would feel safe in his arms if he ever held me.

5 Things I Think I Think

1. Peyton Manning Can Do No Wrong.
2. I'm fond of donuts.
3. Tom Brady is hot.
4. I want Bill Belichick to like me.
5. I can't see my feet.

Travel Note

Hotel Gym Cost Charge Air Aisle Gym Cost Aisle Seat Fat Gym Air Jet Coach Starbucks Hotel Aisle Screaming Kids Gym Hotel Planes Ticket Air Coffee Frappa Mocha Plane Air Hotel gym Charge Laptop Aisle Fat Ticket Coffee Shots Syrup Escorts Gym Coach 1st Class Starbucks Seattle Coffee Laptop Coach Starbucks Barista Peanuts Hotel Mary Beth Gym Treadmill Hotel Laptop Coffee Frappa Latta Grando Plane Aisle Fat Cell Phone Plane Escort Starbucks Coffee Gym Hotel Airport Security Coach Shoes Aisle Gym Treadmill Strip Search Hotel Gym laptop Girdle Seattle Coach Seats Aisle Fat Mocha.

Yes, I Am A Sick Man

Q: Why should you take Bill Belichick with you when you jet ski?

A: Because remember, dumbass.......he can walk on water.

Chrissy Two Coats Rejoices

The Patriots traded a 4th round pick today for Randy Moss...a steal if he behaves himself. What I can't fathom is that Green Bay has been interested in Moss for the past few weeks. Are you telling me that they couldn't do better than a 4th round pick? What I know is that the Packers lost Ahman Green in free agency and they need a RB to help Brett Favre. They passed up the 2nd best RB in the draft and then they didn't trade for Moss. It makes you wonder what they're doing. The Patriots, on the other hand, know exactly what they're doing. If their passing game is successful with Caldwell and Brown starting - what's it going to be like with newly acquired Donte Stallworth and Randy Moss? Belichik is probably getting close to retiring and this is an effort to have a killer offense for a year or two before he goes. If Moss dogs it on a few plays - I can't wait to see the fireworks between the two of them. As far as Brady Quinn goes, apparently he wasn't "all that and a bag of chips". You know the Dolphins consult Dan Marino on a lot of issues and I think the kid's accuracy really came into play. A lot of things are coachable - I don't think accuracy is. He has grit and moxy and Steve Young can cry all he likes - but a lack of accuracy is going to be more pronounced in the Pros with tighter coverage and faster defenders. The pass rush is also going to be more fierce and the lineman are taller to throw over. For the life of me, I don't understand why he wanted to play for the Browns. The team isn't good enough to give him a supporting cast. Let's hope he doesn't pull a Ryan Leaf. Wait a minute...this is a Steeler site....let's HOPE he pulls a Ryan Leaf!

Bill Belichick Did Not Invent Football

Thanks to my bro-in-law for forwarding this article to me as I asked my sister yesterday for any local articles pertaining to it. Watch the link on YouTube mentioned in the article. I saw this happen live and was disgusted that the announcers really didn't say much about it. I mean, wtf? After he shoved the camera at the first guy and hugged Mangini - watch how he departs. The cameras stopped rolling but he looked like he was going to clear a path the same way he got to Mangini. I respect the guy as a coach and if you play him in the Super Bowl you will probably lose because with 2 weeks to prepare he is almost unbeatable - but I get so sick of his superior attitude towards the press. Like this article states - without the press - there wouldn't be anyone to sing his "praises" - and yes, I used a religious word on purpose since the man thinks he's godlike. Here is the most telling thing about Bill Belichick and don't ever let his fans forget it - in Cleveland as a head coach he was 36-44 which included a 5-11 final season. The things that make him good now are an owner that cares about winning and a Hall Of Fame quarterback. I don't care how good a coach is, without the right players at key positions - they've got nothing. When Brady is no longer a Patriot, we'll see how well Bill does - and I hope the media gets so far up his ass that they come out his mouth. Thing is, he'll probably retire so he doesn't have to rebuild. I'd like to mail him $40 so he can buy a decent shirt. A sweatshirt is bad enough but to cut the sleeves off? This is clearly a man who likes to thumb his nose at everyone. I hope he and Peter King will be happy together after they marry.