You Decide The Title

What's a better title for this story:

A. Once Upon A Time......

B. Bush Kills Baby, Then Mother.....

C. Her second cousin's wife's plumber's helper said.....

It kills me that this keeps happening. We'll need another verse or two in Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" if she gets elected....

"Bullets whizzing past her head,
no insurance - now you're dead,
I did not kill not one Vince Foster,
Sharks can't breath right in White Water......

I'm too tired Bill, My head hurts,
Go ahead and chase that skirt.
Just be careful don't get caught,
But if you do I'll leave you not.

Bang that big fat Jewish girl,
Make it like the Tilt-A-Whirl,
Just don't leave no DNA,
and everything will be OK......Ooooops.

Logic Dictates

I need somebody to explain this to me. On one hand, Hilary Clinton's campaign is focusing very strongly on saying that Barack Obama does not have the proper experience to be President of the United States. On the other, she is going around saying together they would make a nice ticket, with him as the VP. Hmmmm. Usually, the criteria for being VP is that the person needs to be Presidential material. It's usually described as "one heart beat away from being President". If the man lacks the needed experience to answer that phone call at 3 AM - saying he should be VP is essentially admitting that logic is flawed. Speaking of experience, I also think it's a little more than naive to think the person sleeping with the President soaked up enough knowledge about the job to assume it's like she has eight years experience. Could Marilyn Monroe have run for President on that platform? Could Monica? Listen, put these two candidates in a steel cage match and let them hammer it out. Actually, she might win that fight. She scares me. Also, am I crazy or do you think Chelsea will also end up running in the future? The Bush family better get on the ball and produce another youngish candidate to oppose her. Billy?

Impressed By Bill Clinton

So Bill Clinton has been on my radar since about 1990 and I can't ever remember thinking "Man, I'm impressed by that" after hearing something he said. Until now.

A Republican's Dream

I had a weird dream last night. It started out with VP Dick Cheney on a big game hunt. He was in a black Chevy Suburban with several handlers around an open bar. He was throwing back gin and tonics and babbling incoherently. The Suburban was flanked by a Secret Service vehicle and an ambulance. They stopped at the hunting destination which apparently had a cover charge of some sort. Someone paid for the entire group and a barrier was moved to allow the vehicles into the hunting area. It looked like it was designed for walkers. Apparently not everyone there knew this was a hunting area as a family of 5 walked past eating popcorn and stopping to take pictures of the animals. The driver pulled up to a large sign marked "African Elephants" and stopped. As Cheney left the vehicle he could be heard complaining that the area the elephant was in was much too large for a man of his age to track down. The area was gigantic. Some estimates put the area at between a tenth and a quarter of an acre. Making it even more dangerous, it was enclosed by an electric fence and a small moat. As Cheney sized up the beast and waited for it to move closer to the fence, a crowd of shocked onlookers approached. Cheney could not understand what so many families and children were doing at his newly discovered hunting paradise. Not being a technical individual, he used Google to research a good place to find large game close to his home. He had no idea that he could leave the US and get to "Zoo" so quickly. Cheney lined up the large mammal and pulled the trigger. The elephant turned it's huge head at the sound of the blast just in time to see Mrs. Claire Johnson, 42, wife and mother of 3 drop to the ground with a huge GSW to the chest. A secret service agent took the fall for this episode because he apparently muttered "shoot that big mother" seconds before Cheney squeezed the trigger. Mrs. Johnson, God rest her soul, went about 425 and Dick did have a few cocktails. "What's next?" Cheney bellowed. Checking his Palm Pilot, his handler replied "ummmm, you have a pheasant hunt with both Clintons at 1:00... Bill called last night to confirm and asked what kind of spirits you preferred."