Chop Legos

Another fine home movie on YouTube. Someone took the little Lego dudes that have become popular doing the Star Wars skits and turned them into System Of A Down singing Chop Suey. Cool Stuff.

Gut Telling Me The Chin Is Gone

As much as I used to think the Steelers needed Bill Cowher to be successful, I now think they will be OK when he retires sometime next week. That's not saying I want him to retire - I would be content if he stayed another 10 years because the Rooneys have figured out that continuity is every bit as important as talent - but it's no longer the end of the world scenario that some Cowher fans would like you to believe. I really think Russ Grimm or Ken Whisenhunt can step right in and keep this ball rolling for the next several years. If I had to pick the next coach, I'd lean towards Russ Grimm because he's local and as a former outstanding lineman - he's going to keep the tradition of pounding the ball. The only thing I think would keep Bill Cowher stalking the Pittsburgh sidelines is the fact that this season left a bad taste in his mouth. I think when the extension didn't get done in the off-season, it could have been because he saw this team repeating and then walking off into the sunset as a Saint of the city. If he leaves now, people (including myself) are going to wonder if his mind was made up in training camp and that's why we didn't see the amount of passion that we're used to seeing from the man this season when things went south. Joey Porter had no fear of being yanked this year as he had several costly personal foul penalties called against him at crucial points this season. I remember coach Cowher ripping into Josh Miller for only punting the ball 30 yards - now Santonio Holmes can fumble a game away and Cowher is left standing on the sidelines with a glossy look in his eyes. Yes, he brought us another championship - but in reality - I think we had the best team in the NFL 3 or 4 years during his reign. I'm really torn on this subject as I think if he returns to coach next season, he will be more aggressive with his team and not allow veterans to slide or get too comfortable. WIth or without him, they have a legitimate shot to win it all next year as the talent level is still very high. Without the turnovers, they are very hard to beat. Do I want him to go? I'm not sure. Do I think he's going to go? Yes, I do. Russ Grimm has the experience and temperament for the job. I don't think things would change much if Russ took over, and that's the way the Rooneys play the game.

Sheehan To Appear On American Idol

Attention seeking Cindy Sheehan will appear this season on Fox's American Idol according to our sources. After failing to cause more than a few local reporters to show up for her latest "stunt", Sheehan has been looking for other avenues to get her message across. During a taping of episode II, she belted out "Billy, Don't Be A Hero" which Simon Cowell called "the single worst performance ever on the show." She did not get a golden ticket to Hollywood leaving her distressed and almost broken. Asked what her future plans are, she is trying to get in the cast for The Surreal Life next season and hopes to hook up with Flavor Flav - extending her 15 minutes of fame to 16 or possibly 17 minutes. We're tired of you, Cindy. Go home.

Saddam Hussein Dead

No picture, no story. It just feels good to type it and say it.

Small Is The New Big?

As I was helping my daughter pick out a "skin" for her new iPod Nano, it hit me as to just how small the thing really is. I just think it's really funny how in these times, personal music players and cell phones are judged mostly on size - the smaller the better. Yet, not all that long ago, personal music players were judged on how LARGE they were. It was nothing to see someone walking down the street carrying a radio that was bigger than a St. Bernard. We've gone from Walk-Mans and CD-Mans to something that holds 500 songs that's about half the size of a credit card. I remember in 1995 I bought a 250 mb hard drive to add to my PC which only had a 40 mb drive. I paid roughly $1 a meg which was pretty standard in those days. I just dropped a 1 gig micro sd flash card into my Razor phone and it's literally the size of a toddler's pinky nail...and it cost $25. Insane! In 11 years we've gone from $1 a meg to this and that's for micro sd. Regular sd can be had for half of that. I can't wait to see what's next. We'll have iPods built into our shoe lace tips!

It Can't Just Be Me

You know what? I no longer trust stores to tally my items correctly when I purchase something. I'm convinced they display one price and charge another at the register. Only people that are paying attention don't get suckered into this plot. It's happened to me 3 times since Saturday! I went to Toys-R-Us to "check out" the guitars to let Santa know which one to bring my budding Hannah Montana. A full rack of little acoustic jobbies were labeled on-sale for $19.99. I grabbed one that had a star design on it. I needed to pick up one other item for one of my nephews and while looking for that I saw something else that my daughter wanted - a Doodle Doll, which is different than the Doodle Monster, which is different than the Doodle Bear (which she already has) which is different than the Doodle Mat (which she also already has)! It was marked down to $12.99 and I called Mrs. Claus while staring at the sign to make sure it was a smart purchase. It was. So I had 3 items. When I got to the register - the guitar was $29.99. I stopped the girl and told her about the sign. After 10 minutes of looking through the sales paper and talking to the girl at the service desk, I was told the one I picked out was different because it was labeled "Designer Series" and only the plain wood ones were $19.99. Fine. Maybe you want to add that to the sign since they are all toghter....but whatever. I went back and got the brown one because I knew it would end up covered in stickers anyway. The Doodle Doll then scanned at $14.99! I stopped her AGAIN. Another 10 minutes and a manager came over to tell the girl I was right and she changed the price in the regsiter for that item. I asked her how many other people already bought one that day for $14.99 and she blew me off. I think it's planned! Price Switching Is Us! Today I bought a pair of sunglasses to just keep in my wife's car. The pair I have in there have a bad mark on them and I see three of everything....which isn't cool driving at 80 mph! I got to the checkout and was charged $21 something when the price tag was clearly marked $15.50. She said all the other ones were $19.50 which signaled to me she didn't even scan it or look at it. When I see people walking around with 20 items in their carts, I wonder how on Earth they keep track and remember the prices as the person checks them out? I wouldn't be one bit surprised if every person in every store averages a few dollars of "mistake" pricing per visit! Bah Humbug!!!!!

Christmas Leary Style

From Dennis Leary's Comedy Central Christmas Special. If you like Rankin/Bass, you'll LOVE this intro.

Merry Christmas!

I hope you have a great one!

Christmas Turkey

Well, the Steelers were the Christmas turkey today. After winning 5 of 6 and looking pretty darn good for the past 3 weeks, the Steelers from the first 8 weeks showed up today and got pummeled by the Ravens, ending their playoff hopes for good. In a way, I'm glad they lost to get knocked out of the playoffs. It's easier to accept than being 9-7 and losing out on a tie-breaker or something. That being said, Denver won and Jacksonville lost, meaning the stage was partially set for us to return to the playoffs. Everything that needed to happen - happened. I said all along the hardest part of our path to the playoffs was us winning out. Fumbles and picks, fumbles and picks, fumbles and picks. The game essentially ended on Willie Parker's fumble in the red zone. I need a few days to let this marinate before I reflect on the entire season.

Silent Night, Holy Night

All is calm....BAM!....Bin Laden's Buddy Dead <----- Read It. Guess we won't have to worry about Mullah Akhtar Mohammad Osmani anymore.

Merry Christmas Bin Laden

A Christmas Story from Still A Dad:

Little Rebecca comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Christmas. "Since Christmas is for Christians and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a Christmas card?

Rebecca's father thinks! a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Christmas card to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock?

"Well", she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a card, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent cards to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.
Rebecca, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Rebecca says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him and send him back to hell where he belongs!"

Girl Gone Wild - Katie Rees Miss Nevada (NeBADa)

Wow. Ok, while talking about Miss USA and Miss Teen USA, I jokingly said I wish "Girls Gone Wild" had been there. Well, for Miss Nevada Katie Rees - It looks like they were! I can't even post one of the pictures here they are so graphic. There are about 20 photos, and every one is questionable! Now - I would LOVE to post one here......but I also like sleeping in my bed at night, so I'll just link to the article and the photos. Enter if you wish. NAFWBALS (Not Appropriate For Work By A LONG Shot).

Miss Teen USA and Miss USA - Hiccup?

So Miss USA, Tara Conner (left) and Miss Teen USA, Katie Blair (right) were out partying in new York Clubs. What's the big deal? Conner just turned 21 but was photographed there before her birthday and Blair is 18 - old enough to serve in the Army, but not have a Cosmopolitan. It must be a really slow week for news. In my opinion, the only bad thing about this story is that "Girls Gone Wild" cameras weren't around and rolling.....I mean LOOK at them! All this "controversy" did was create bigger names for both of them. Remember, the most successful Miss America of all time was probably Vanessa Williams who had nude photos taken with another woman before she won. How many other past winners can you remember? If these two little hotties go on to model, sing, act or appear on reality TV shows - they might be the next contest winner we remember. Donald Trump's press conference with Conner was nothing but a publicity stunt. Now MADD has come out and said they are cutting ties with Blair. I guess having an 18-year-old that has a few drinks isn't the best candidate to preach about drunk driving, but they are fooling themselves if they think 18-year-olds aren't drinking all across the country. In my humble opinion, they could have made it into a more realistic life lesson for teenagers had they attempted to find out how she was escorted around town that night. If she used cabs or a limo service, they could have spun it into at least she didn't drink and get behind the wheel. From what I've read about this non-story, neither was close to being loud, obnoxious or intoxicated. They were having a few drinks. Big deal. Now, had Blair been sloppy drunk, hopped up on a bar, whipped her top off and screamed "Look at THESE!".....then, we'd have a problem. But for two young people between 18-21 to simply have a few drinks and it turns into a media event is hilarious in my mind. Same thing when it happened to the Bush girls....having a few cocktails when you are at or near college age is a right of passage. It always has been and it always will be. Nobody should be throwing a rock at that glass house because I'd be willing to bet something like 98% of all Americans have had a taste of alcohol before their 21st birthday. Should I find a beer bottle cap in my daughter's pocket when she is 18 (much like Still A. Dad's revelation that I was having a few Silver Bullets before my 21st) I'll give her the same speech he gave me. "If you come home in my car and I smell alcohol on your breath - you're done driving." Simple. Concise. Practical. He didn't flip out. He didn't tell me not to have a few beers with my friends. He simply gave me "the look" that meant I knew he was serious. I don't know if I'm a fan of lowering the drinking age to 18, but it sure seems silly that you can go fight a war in Iraq and not be able to have 2-3 beers while watching a football game. As long as Tara Conner doesn't turn into Tara Reid - she can be my Miss USA.

Peter King Going Where No Pundit Has Gone Before

Like I've stated many times before, the guy has lost all credibility with me this year. However, it's still fun to read his columns to see what he's going to come up with next. This week, in his Offensive Player Of The Week award - he's giving it to Mark Brunell - who didn't play a single down. That's right ladies and gentlemen, not one single down. What did he do that was so great? One of Washington's coaches told Peter that he played Drew Brees on the scout team really well. I'll let you go back and read that sentence one more time to let it sink in. I think Peter gets so caught up talking about his Iraq buddy, his daughter, Rutgers, Tom Brady, Bill Belichek, coffee, baristas, airplanes, hotel gyms - did I mention Tom Brady - Drew Brees, did you hear there was a hurricane in New Orleans last year, House......he forgets why he has the audience he has. Football. He's becoming one of the idiots that talks in soundbites and opinions and never really backs anything up. Ok, Peter, go back and look at all the offensive performances again and then explain to me how Mark Brunell can be offensive player of the week. I just named your article the dumbest "football" article of the week.

Slanted Listmania 3 - Christmas Specials

So, you know I'm a big kid at heart. I like the Christmas Specials on TV more than my daughter does. Even if we own the special on VHS or DVD, I still try to make it a special occasion by anticipating it and sitting down and watching it with her when it's on TV - and reminding her that I used to watch the same shows when I was her age. These aren't movies, I'll save that for later. Here are my favorites and a few reasons why:

5. Santa Claus is Coming To Town - I like the dude that rules the town, Burgermeister Meisterburger. He cracks me up. Also, Jessica is a BABE! And I was NOT afraid of the wizard when I was young.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas - How could you not love the special that brought us the music of the Vince Guaraldi Trio? It's one of my favorite Christmas albums (and I realize I'm dating myself by calling it an album) of all-time. My favorite parts? When Snoopy gets embarrassed dancing on Schroeder's piano, when Snoopy cries after Lucy flips on him over the smooch and the dance scene at the practice.

3. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer - Some great characters! Another Rankin & Bass slam dunk. I love Yukon COrnelius and not just because he reminds me of Bill Cowher! I love the scene where the elf boss makes everyone sing. In fact, I think the elf boss is my favorite character in the entire show and they don't even name him! And how genius is the island of misfit toys? I must say "I'm a Charlie-in-the-box" 20 times a year. And WHAT IS wrong with the little girl on the island?

2. Dr. Seuss's How The Grinch Stole Christmas - "He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore"....sounds like me trying to balance my checkbook! I'll tell you one thing - Seuss's family made a HUGE mistake when they let Ron Howard make this film. It SUCKED. Only one person could have made it right - and that person is Tim Burton. But then, Johnny Depp would have been the Grinch and he's far too slight.....well, nevermind.....

1. The Year Without A Santa Claus - Not even close. The Miser brothers bring this one home. I just realized Big Bad Voodoo Daddy covered their song and dubbed it Mr. Heat Miser. I heard it while walking around a bookstore on Saturday. Someone posted the dance on YouTube cut to the new song. Cool. The mayor is good here as well.

Steelers Playoff Scenarios

Wow. Still A. Oregon hooked me up today. Thanks, man. I was going to compute all of this out after talking with the Dog via email yesterday as he didn't pay much attention to the other 7-7 teams. The work was done for me and I'm glad to share. It's not impossible. I put our chances right at 10%. If we can just get Jax to implode! Here is what will get us back to the playoffs, and trust me - the way they're playing - not many teams will be happy to see them. especially the #3 seed who will get them first. I still think the hardest part of this is us winning out. If we don't make it, I hope it's because we're 8-8. I don't want to sit home because of a tie-breaker.

• Steelers (7-7) need to win out to finish 9-7.
• Cin (8-6) lose to Den and Pit to finish 8-8. steelers would lose tie breaker to cin at 9-7 based on conference record.
• Den therefore get 1st wild card based on finishing 9-7 or 10-6 and beating steelers on conference record tie breaker.
• Jax (8-6) lose to NE and KC to finish 8-8. steelers would lose tie breaker to jax due to head-to-head record.
• NYJ (8-6) lose to Mia and / or Oak to finish 9-7 or 8-8. steelers would win tie breaker based on record against common opponents (jax, cle, mia, and oak).
• TEN (7-7) remaining games against Buf and NE. steelers would win tie breaker based on record against common opponents (sd, mia, jax, and bal) so doesn't matter what happens.
• BUF (7-7) lose to Ten and / or Bal to finish 8-8 or 7-9. steelers would lose tie breaker to buf based on conference record.
• KC (7-7) remaining games against Oak and Jax. steelers would win tie breaker but we need KC to beat Jax last weekend.
• Week 16:
• Here's what is absolutely necessary this week to remain alive... wins by Pit (Bal), Den (Cin), NE (Jax).
• Here is what we would like from the rest for this week... wins by Mia (NYJ), Ten (Buf).
• Week 17:
• If still alive we'll need wins by Pit (Cin), KC (Jax) and losses by NYJ and Buf if they win in week 16.

Makes Me Want To Quit Playing

Check this little dude out!

Steelers Playing Sick

Well, it's really too bad there aren't 20 games in the regular season, because if there were, I think we'd be going to the playoffs. The Steelers have now won 5 out of their last 6 and the last 3 by a combined score of 84-13. It really makes you angry now to go back and think about some of the ways they lost earlier games. Some random thoughts from the game: Brett Keisel in his 5th year is showing that maybe he should have been starting 2 years ago instead of just now. Kimo always played the position well, but never had the sack numbers Brett is putting up. I was almost mad at Cowher for putting Holmes back out on the field after his fumble - now I'm glad he did. What a return. The other thing that surprised me about that return was the reception Santonio got when he came to the sidelines after the return. He must be well liked on the team because EVERYONE came over to him and the score was already a blowout. That told me something and it made me glad to see how the team responded to him after all the trouble he had at the beginning of the season. I've never thought of DeShaun Foster as a power back and to see him run over Anthony Smith and bounce off DeShea Townsend like a pinball was weird....especially after seeing Smith lay the wood to numerous players this year. How about that Kuhn? I was lobbying hard for him in the beginning of the year to make the team. He looks like a player. Davenport is very inconsistent as the big man in our rushing attack. On one play he looks like he can't be brought down and on another, he goes down easily in the backfield. I haven't quite figured him out yet. Not sure if the DumpTruck is the answer to the Bus yet. Will update playoff scenarios after tomorrow night's game between the Bungles and Indy.

The Tipping Point

I just finished another outstanding book. I needed to finish it before Christmas because I'm getting another book by the same author that morning (at least I asked for it). This is a book I enjoyed almost as much as Freakonomics. Malcolm Gladwell has a curious mind and raises some very interesting points. I don't want to go into too much detail, but here is a sampling of some of the parts I enjoyed. The crime wave in NYC was cleaned up using the broken window methodology. Meaning, fix the small stuff first because people seeing broken windows signals something deep inside them that allows them to think that area isn't cared for - and if there are broken windows and grafitti everywhere - crime takes place there. He goes into talking about how social epidemics spread - like how did Hush Puppies come back into fashion after almost being forced out of business. He talks about what he calls the Stickiness factor and how people remember things. He uses examples I'm very familiar with - Sesame Street and Blue's Clues scripts. The information I took from this is way cool. They actually watch toddlers watching the show and they know which bits work and which ones do not. A simple tweak can make all the difference and to hear what some of them were throughout history is amazing because I remember a lot of examples they gave. He also talks about social connections and tells the story of the other rider besides Paul Revere who went out that night in a different direction to warn that the British were coming and why he never became known for the same act. It's a very practical book and what I took from it was - the next time I'm faced with a problem at home or at work - whether it's engineering a new project with the house or dealing with a software problem at the office - sometimes you can't overthink things. Sometimes, one very small decision or just talking to the right person is enough to arrive at a "tipping point". I recommend reading it. At the very least, it's good conversation filler.

First Good Joke In A Long Time

I get a lot of jokes passed my way online. Most of them are either old or not funny. This one from Still A. Dad made me laugh out loud when I read both punchlines.

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f*@%ing blanket!" After a moment of silence ... he farted.

Bad Casting For Classic Christmas Remake

When I read 6 months ago that a live action version of "The Year Without A Santa Claus" was being worked on, I got very excited. The original is my favorite Christmas special of all-time. In fact, before the retro toys came out for this show and the VHS and DVD weren't even available - I had most of the dialogue and the song lyrics memorized from an old VHS copy that I made soon after we got our very first VCR (which was a big deal way back when!). I always thought a live action movie would be cool, but the wrong people got the rights to it. it should have been the South Park guys or the Beavis and Butthead guys. You need a "hip factor" to make this movie the right way so everyone that was young in 1974 when it debuted would tune in and make it a new classic. Instead, they had a boring script with boring actors and no edge whatsoever. I thought about who should play the roles years ago and came up with Ryan Stiles from Drew Carry for Snow Miser and Jerry Stiller for Heat Miser. I broke out our official copy 2 nights ago with my daughter and we watched it again this time paying particular attention to faces. I came up with Albert Brooks for Jingle and Jason Mewes for Jangle. Can you see Jangle walking around stoned saying "Snoothie Bootchies"? I also think Dr. Phil would make a great mayor for South Town. They really screwed this attempt up. They should have called me in for casting. In my version, David Spade would have been Iggy and Sam Elliot the dog catcher. The only character they got right was Carol Cane playing Mother Nature. Oh well, I'll just keep watching the classic version every year.

Steeler Playoff Hopes Dim and Dimmer

Well, with three games remaining, the bengals and Jax are 8-5 while the Jets, Chiefs and Broncos are 7-6. Can you believe if we had the game back against the Raiders - we'd be in superb position to sneak back into the playoffs and potentially make noise again. It sounds conceited to say it - but I think the Steelers as a non-playoff team would have a better chance at winning the Super Bowl than most of the NFC teams in the playoffs and a few of the AFC teams as well....if they are playing the way they've played the last 3-4 weeks. It's too crazy to try and list the possibilities here, so I'm going to wait one more week to see if they win. If they do, I'll lay out some scenarios that could still get them in - but basically, they need the Bengals to lose 2 (and they play Indy and us) to have a real shot. The bigger problem is us winning our remaining three games. I think Denver will not end up 9-7 and we have the tie-breaker with the Chiefs. So, I'm not sure of the tie-breaker with the Jets, so it's hard to tell about them right now. They have the easiest schedule remaining, but I don't think anyone fears the Jets so we'll see what happens. Right now, I put our chances of making the playoffs at 3%. If they win this week and the Bengals, Jax, Jets, Broncos and Chiefs lose....I'll upgrade it to 10% for the remaining two weeks. I hope this doesn't get like their last 9-7 season when we had to wait until the end of the day on Sunday to find out we weren't going because the Vikings couldn't beat somebody (don't remember who).

.....Can You Do Math Now?

Let me start off by saying this clip is long. It's 22 minutes in length, but you can work while listening as it's an audio clip, not a visual clip. The clip itself is funny, if you understand the math involved, but what's even funnier is that a different guy then posts a 3 minute response saying that it's "not a scam but a computer glitch" and that "Verizon is making mad money because of their software glitch if you multiply this out". So, this idiot doesn't even understand the real problem, yet he's blogging about all the extra money Verizon has collected because of their software. It's not a software problem and Verizon doesn't have a scam running! What Verizon has is people answering the phones who don't know how to correctly read the number in English when asked what it represents! As a math major AND SQA guy - this entire thread is hilarious. All the poor SOB wants is for somebody to understand what he's saying and he can't find one warm body to do it. Count me in - I understand. The call gets really funny at the 12 minute mark when the girl gets on the line. "There is no point zero zero two dollars!". Hilarious!

Foul Air Rules

Hmmmm, that title can definitely be read two ways.

Somewhere my old roommate would be rolling if he read this as he is a connoisseur of dick and fart jokes. He would giggle about this story for weeks.

Gumbel Doesn't Do It For Me

I'm not sure America's whitest black man should be doing NFL games for the NFL Network. Bryant Gumbel is good at some things. His intelligent and thoughtful voice is best left sometimes to what I call "quasi-news". He is good on his HBO show about peripheral sports stories and he was OK I guess on the national morning show he did for so many years. That's what he does. When I think of him as an announcer, I think the best job for him is the fluff pieces they do on the athletes for the Olympics. That's vastly different from calling a football game. Two examples of this stuck out like a sore thumb to me last night. The first was when he was telling the story of how the Browns' QB's wife got initiated so to speak into the spouse's club last week when he was called to duty in the middle of the game due to Charlie Frye getting hurt. Gumbel said something that made me cringe and he not only said it once, he said it twice! He started this gem off by saying "I heard a cute story.......". Collinsworth broke in to say something about the action on the field and then Bryant started again "I heard a cute story....". Listen, all over America there are guys...big guys....big manly man guys.....sitting in recliners eating potato chips and drinking bad beer that are waiting to hear something intelligent about what the offense is trying to do to the defense and what the defense is doing to try to stop it. We don't want to hear a Bryant Gumbel "cute" story about the QB's wife up in the stands. If you do have to tell it, please don't start it off in that whiny voice like you're talking to three old ladies over tea. Bryant is a poser in this regard and he does it all the time on his HBO show. When he wants to ask a question and add emphasis, he'll take off his glasses and put one of the arms in his mouth or something. I think he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. He crosses his arms....furrows his brow. He's almost like a Ron Burgandy caricature sometimes. The second thing he said that made me laugh was his use of the word "attitudinally". Remember the big guy in the chair drinking beer? He doesn't like his football announcers asking single worded questions while overemphasizing the raising of their voice pitch at the end of the word to that of a 12-year-old boy that just got hit in the nuts while playing dodge ball. That's why John Madden is still on TV and not Dennis Miller. He asked the question in reference to Bill Cowher's mindset. "Attitudinally?". Wow. What a tool.

Young Steelers Are Impressive

Much like last week, I continue to be impressed by the younger Steelers who simply dominated the Browns last night for the 20th time in 23 games and the last 7 straight. Willie Parker carved them up for a team record 220 plus yards on the ground. Ben looked sharp as well and moved around superbly in the pocket. Anthony Smith brought the wood and had two tremendous hits, almost breaking somebody in half. Collinsworth actually made me laugh when he referred to his playing days saying once the Steelers were up, they didn't care about interceptions - they were trying to send people to the hospital and taunting you and laughing at you while they were doing it. Nate Washington continues to develop and makes me wonder again....did we make the right selection in the first round this year? How much better than Nate is Santonio Holmes? Imagine for a second that we passed on Holmes and took LenDale White. We would have our big back - and maybe...just maybe....we would have won 2 of the games where Holmes fumbled away punts or kickoffs. Holmes has better numbers than Nate, but he's also had more opportunities. Time will tell. I'm not rooting against Holmes, I'm just trying to decide if our receiver situation warranted a move up in the draft and a first round pick.

Slanted #31

Click Image For Larger View

Gone Daddy Gone

Wow. I can't believe I missed this story. I've been a little busy the last few days. Something I was asking for, nay - begging for - happened earlier in the week. Now, for some reason while I was reading this, I have "Gone Daddy Gone" by the Violent Femmes stuck in my head. I've also never seen Cowher go out of his way to praise someone he cut like this. It comes down to this: Duce came to camp out of shape and was given every chance to play this year. At times he was sluggish and failed to carry people which is why he was here. This is a what have you done for me lately league. Sure, he started off like a demon in 2004. That's not doing us a lot of good right now. And last year's Green Bay game which Cowher is so enamored with? Well, if Staley wasn't there, we would have had another RB to fill in. It's not like we'd have to play without someone at the position. I'm confident with the way our line was playing - we could have thrown Gardocki in there as the back and still won the game. Later, Duce.

Who Is This Kevin That You Speak Of?

A. One of my jam buddies
B. The Donnas biggest groupie
C. Ex-Coworker from RAM's salad years
D. A 10+ Year Member In 'The Circle"
E. KISS & AC/DC concert partner
F. All Of The Above

So, yeah, to you - it's not your husband.
And to you - it's not your son-in-law.

RIP, We're With You Still A Dog

When I was a kid (this picture is from 1974) a normal part of my day was waiting for the mailman. Sound strange? Well, it wasn't, because the mailman was also my uncle. Technically he's my dad's uncle, but growing up I had more great aunts and uncles in my hometown than "real" aunts or uncles. He took his lunch break at our house because it was right smack in the middle of his route....plus, he could have a "cold one" out of the eyes of the public. Uncle Carl loved us kids growing up and I have to say, I can't ever remember the man being in a bad mood. He was always jovial and joking around. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right Dog? Still A Dog's mother passed while I was still in school and I have to say, you'd have trouble finding two nicer people. So, to break up the somber mood, with 2 very sweet parents, what on earth happened to the Dog?

Good News, Bad News

Good news? Fan favorite and more importantly my favorite special teams demon - Chidi Owuoma is back on the team. Bad news? So is Lee Mays. Owuoma is back because of injuries to Polamalu and Clark. Mays is back due to injuries to Ward and Wilson. I want to see what Nate does for an entire game. Should be fun to watch.

The Master, Buddy Rich

Every once in a while I like to take a spin on YouTube and look for old clips of Buddy Rich and Mr. Krupa. I'm never disappointed as their old solos on 4-pc kits use far more skill than today's players on enormous sets. I'm going to start to post more of them, but this is one of my favorites as he just destroys his snare. Goodness he was incredible.

Still A. Fan Admits, Got Poached Years Ago

This is terrible!

Anyone who knows my past knows this story rings near and dear to my heart. For I too, was once an egg chucker. Lucky for me, I was an egg chucker back before most people were armed while driving around town. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was writing a paper for 11th grade college prep and my "friend" Booger came over because he was bored. He heard there was an "EP" game going on and he wanted to get in on it. "EP" is what we called an "Egg Patrol". The city was boxed off by major roads and everyone knew the boundaries of the game. We stopped in at Sheetz and bought two dozen eggs and hit the road in Booger's car. Funny, we never came across anyone else in a car that was playing that night and they shall forever remain nameless - (cough, cough) Ray (cough, cough) Bill (cough, cough) and many others. As we passed two women out walking, I tagged one in the back as cleanly as a QB hitting a RB on a flair route. We were laughing so hard we had to pull over. Not satisfied with the single hit, we turned around and went back - you guessed it - she was hit again as her friend was helping her get the first one off. There were more hits that night, and some clear misses. One miss was on a particular person who went to my high school and happened to live in the same house as the mayor. No Joke. She was walking with friends and and it was dark and we didn't even know it was her. Nobody was hit - but the driver of the car was spotted. Did I mention he wasn't very well liked? Long story short - they called the pigs on him! They didn't realize I was in the passenger seat or they would not have called. I had juice. The driver, sadly, had a club named for/after him...BHOA. It stood for Booger Haters Of America unknown to him. "BHOA" was our rallying cry. He called me one night to inform me that officer such and such would be right over to the house to ask me some questions. I didn't believe him. I was wrong. I told Still A. Dad first. I'll never forget his first reaction......"Awww SHIT!". Mom was the tough one to tell. Yup, she cried. Why? "You're a straight 'A' student!". Not true, I got some B's. Oh yeah, she knew the mother of the girl as well. As soon as the officer left the house and informed me that I had to appear before the magistrate - she made me get dressed and drove me over to apologize to the girl....which I didn't want to do because i knew nobody got hit and they were just trying to get Booger in trouble....which backfired. The driver wasn't charged with anything. The golden-armed thrower was. I apologized and was given the option by the mother to maybe cut their lawn that summer instead of following through. The mayor happened to be out of town. Still A. Dad and I came to the same conclusion on that point - "No Thanks". I went before the magistrate and was given the minimum fine of $25 plus $50 court fees. He was a cool older dude who entertained us with stories about how he used to throw buckeyes at the passing trains and how "boys will be boys". I paid off my debt and even further distanced myself from Booger who instigated the entire damn thing. I went on one "EP" in my entire high school life and I paid the price. It was a good lesson really because I had another friend who was lobbing water balloons out of cars onto oncoming windshields. My spat of trouble chilled him out and I'm glad. Can you imagine driving along and having a water balloon explode on your windshield? Jesus, I'd need to change my underwear. Also, I'm now crazy on the other side. If my wife and daughter weren't in the car with me and someone did something like that tomorrow, I'd chase them down. We've already determined I'm not shy about expressing my opinions to total strangers. Would I shoot them? Nooooo. Scare them enough that they may stop? That's the plan. It's too bad this 14 year old kid had to die just from hanging around with the wrong kids....or were they the wrong kids? Remember, boys will be boys until we learn a good lesson. What I'll promise you is this - do you think those other two guys are EVER going to throw anything at a car again? They did it to the wrong guy on the wrong day and the more you read the paper and watch the news, the more likely that is going to happen. There were other reports of people being bombed that night by a few select Grade "A" Large white orbs. The officer asked me if it was us? Was it us right down the block after a Bingo ended...in a silver car....."No, officer". (Cough).

Funny, Turnovers

Isn't it funny what happens when you don't turn the ball over? That was a pretty solid win, albeit against inferior competition. However, they should have beat them soundly and they did. Tyrone Carter, James Harrison, Nate Washington and Anthony Smith had themselves pretty good games. Good news for the young guys. Good news for next year. Does anyone believe Cowher when he says he has no interest in the NC job? We've seen coaches say something to that extent and then be introduced the next day on a podium in fornt of cameras. I won't believe anything until I see him at St. Vincent's next year.

Maybe People Are Worrying About The Wrong Issues

This article has questionable statistics, but raises a very valid arguement in my opinion. The stats might not be that far off either. I cringe when I hear people compare Iraq to Vietnam. Most sources show 58,000+ US deaths in Vietnam. Iraq is still far under 5,000, less than 10% of deaths in Vietnam. Not that this makes it any more right or wrong in some people's eyes, just look at how other American's are dying before claiming the only reason we should leave Iraq is because of the death count. This article of deaths caused by illegal immigrants is very interesting indeed.

Strange Weather

So it's 6:07 on November 30th. Usually to go out and run at this time of year in the morning I've got on the ski hat, thin gloves, Under Armour Cold Gear pants, a mock turtleneck running shirt and a breathable jacket. Today? It's currently 57 degrees heading to 70. I'm getting ready to leave the house in shorts and a long sleeve running shirt and it's still pitch dark outside. I think Al Gore has a giant furnace hidden somewhere in the northeast and he's trying to drum up dvd sales for his "movie".

I Can No Longer Be Shocked

Remember 10-15 years ago when it was big news if an unwanted baby appeared on a church doorstep or in a hospital waiting room? The local news would go crazy tracking down witnesses and talking to anyone that was even close to the drop off site. A lot of effort was put into finding out who dropped off the baby. As I recall, one was delivered by a girl at a prom who "didn't know she was pregnant". Right. We escalated from there to finding babies still alive in dumpsters. Shocked, we were. Instead of realizing the baby couldn't be cared for and taking it to a safe haven, the mothers were now probably afraid of being "outed" by the media so they started putting babies in dumpsters. Brilliant. Two news stories from this week have left me in such disbelief that I can't even imagine where the unwanted baby stories will go 5 years from now. A dad in Canada was worried about his baby's fever so he tried a cold cloth but that didn't work. He next took the 9-month-old outside but that didn't work either. When all else fails, get creative. He decided to put the 9-month-old in the freezer. His defense? He didn't shut the door. Mom came home and claims the door was shut and reported the dad. When a baby is placed inside a freezer and sustains freezer burn on the back of it's head and back - whether the door was shut or not is not the issue! What the hell is wrong with these people? I would try...i don't know...TYLENOL? A cool bath? How about the emergency room if you are worried and not a resourceful type? Jesus Christ, the FREEZER? Sometimes I put a can of Diet Coke in the freezer if it wasn't already cold to speed up the process. An hour later I think, "Oh Shit! I left a soda in the freezer!". You go grab it and it has little chunks of delightful frozen Coke in it. Can you imagine this guy? He's sitting on the couch 2 hours later thinking...."I know I'm forgetting something.....what is it?.......THE BABY!!!!" Too late....unless of course you have a defrost option on your microwave which is where I'm going next. The case of a dead 3-week-old baby has just been solved. The mom was arrested and the cause of death was......microwave! MICROWAVE! WTF? What kind of microwave did she have? What did the buttons say? Coffee, Popcorn, Cute Little Baby? I think the law should go Old Testament on this bitch if she's found guilty. An eye-for-an-eye. Doesn't fit in the microwave? Oh well, let's just dump some lighter fluid on her and toss a match in her direction. She doesn't deserve to live. I would like to hear a liberal's defense as to why this woman shouldn't be put out of her misery. Better yet, maybe she should be made to work in an infant daycare or the maternity ward in a hospital. The birth father was present along with 3 other kids in the house, but the mom was the one arrested after a 9 month investigation. She was out partying all night and didn't see the kid until morning. It was 3 weeks old! Didn't it have to eat every 2 hours? I'm done ranting....but DAMN....microwaving your own kid? What's next? Dismembering and toasting each piece individually?

It's The Great Outkast, Charlie Brown

This is totally cool. Good job by the creators who beg "please don't sue us" at the end of the credits. If you know the song "Hey Yeah" (or even if you don't) you should enjoy this Smash Up / Mash Up of the popular Outkast song with Charlie Brown's Christmas Special. Too cool. One question: Where the hell is Franklin? Damn, he gets no respect. Freida and Violet are there jamming, Violet is either doing the Vogue or an early Macarena, and there are a set of twins that never had a speaking part - why the hell can't Franklin break it down? Man, I love me some Charlie Brown.

The 4-Chord Song....Cool

For the music fans.

Player Poll Meaningless

This week's issue of Sports Illustrated featured a poll of over 350 current NFL players. The question was - which team in the NFL is the most punishing to play against. 31% said the Steelers. The Ravens were 2nd with 17%. I guess that did us a lot of good, didn't it?

The Jury Is In, Judge - You Suck

Let me go on record as saying I loved "Fast Times At Ridgemont High". It was the precursor to such films, or should I say movies, as "The Breakfast Club", "Sixteen Candles", "Pretty In Pink" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". It was an important movie for more reasons than just launching Sean Penn into stardom. Why am I bringing this up? Because I took my daughter to see "The Santa Clause III, The Escape Clause" this past weekend and it's downright embarrassing how bad Judge Reinhold is in it. At least 12 years ago when he did the first one he played the part well. He was his normal character in that one....a little whiney...spineless...uber-nice touchy, feely, Mr. Sensitive type of guy...you get the picture. In the follow-up he was bad and in this one, I find it hard to believe that he'll ever be in another movie that makes this much money. Of course he can sit around and think he has something to do with it if he wants to, but people are paying money because A. it's a Santa movie and it's almost Christmas and B. Tim Allen is still entertaining to some adults. They didn't even need this character in the movie to make it work - they could have just written him out or something - but he must have pictures on the director or producer....or on Tim Allen himself from partying with them 12 years ago making the original. I'm usually not one to bash a guy's entire career and you can't bash Judge from '81 to '87 as he was in "Stripes" (minor role), "Fast Times", Gremlins, Beverly Hills Cop, Ruthless People and Cop II. I remember him being very good in Cop I and Ruthless People. What the heck happened after that? He has been swimming in mediocrity ever since. Maybe it's time to buy a nice house somewhere and just disappear from Hollywood. I told my wife on the way home that it wouldn't be long before Judge starts showing up on reality shows. When I IMDB'd him to make sure I wasn't missing a few things, I realized just how bad it's been since 1987. With the exception of Cop III which missed big-time and playing the "Close-Talker" on Seinfeld twice, he's been reduced to terrible movies that I've never heard of (and I'm a movie buff) taking over for Charles Grodin in Beethoven's 3rd and 4th. Grodin is no star and even HE turned down the chance to appear in the lame-ass sequels to the sequel. Hey, our C list actor who is still living off of "Midnight Run" doesn't want to make this movie...who can we call now....JUDGE REINHOLD! Again, I hate to rip him since he was cool and did the Clerks cartoon for my biggest movie guy of all time, Kevin Smith - but I would rather him scale back his lifestyle than make a mockery of himself making these absolutely terrible films. I hear his schedule is full though as he's going to play the bad master in Karate Kid V, the new mayor in Jaws V and the new chief in Police Academy 8 (yes 8! there were 6 and then Mission To Moscow...IMDB rules!). Wow, what a perfect segue to talk about Steve Guttenberg....who is lower on the Hollywood totempole than Mr. Reinhold. Maybe his collection of work isn't that bad after all. Wouldn't it be fnny to have an awards show with nothing but career B,C celebrities?

Still A Dog Barks, We Listen

Since The Dog lives in the greater Baltimore area and hears many things concerning the Ravens - I decided to post his email to me this morning about the state of Stiller Nation vs. the Ravens long term outlook. What he says is quite wise in my opinion. Remember last week he said that people were complaining that they had to pay for playoff tickets already instead of being ecstatic.

"I'm approaching it as a good thing.

1. We are totally eliminated from playoff consideration. Why is this good? So we can all stop deluding ourselves that we still have a good team. We most certainly do not.

2. We got a good ole ass-kicking by a divisional rival. Why is that good? So we can wake our asses up and see the work that is ahead of us. Embarrassment is a powerful motivator.

3. Our power run is over. Why is this good? Because our window of real opportunity to win championships was from 2002 - 2005. We should have won in 2004 if we were going to win back to back championships. That was probably our best team of that era. The window is closed now and it's time to rebuild again. Too many key players getting old, retired, hurt, or gone via free agency. A good hard look at personnel is needed and will happen now that this season has been certified a disaster. Had we gone 10-6 and squeaked into the playoffs I doubt the necessary changes would have been considered.

4. Chuck Amato was fired this morning at NC State. Why is this a good thing? Cause it opens up an opportunity for Cowher to retire/resign, move to Raleigh with his family, and begin his life's work as a college football coach. I tell Ravens fans that this was good for us and they shut the bleep up. They don't understand enough football to see that this is a temporary setback. They are on top of the world right now, as they should be. They are blinded by success (as usual). I don't know what it will take for them to see that once Steve McNair is gone they will be right back to where they were last season. Their window is this year and maybe next. Then they will have to get a new QB, MLB, LT and a WR possibly a RB and start building again. Their disappointment has been delayed until January."

I'm sure I'll be revisiting some of those opinions in the very near future since I don't have the playoffs to look forward to. May as well start looking at the roster to see who is where on their contracts and the like.

Holy Poe!

I can't ever remember the team getting their asses handed to them like that before. After thinking about it, I think a lot of the blame for this poor showing has to go on the offensive coaches. After getting pressure in his face all day almost getting killed before halftime, why weren't they able to counter what the Ravens were doing on the defensive front? It sure wasn't on talent alone as the Steelers have one of the better offensive lines in the league with 2 Pro-Bowlers on it. Where were the rollouts? Where were the screens? Where were the 2-step drops? He was getting heavy pressure on consecutive plays. You can't allow the other team to keep compounding their confidence like that. The offensive line's meltdown was every bit as bad as the Colt's was against us in the playoffs last year. Still, the offense was able to enter the red zone 4 times. This seemed like it was the Ravens Super Bowl. I wouldn't be surprised to see Cleveland upset them Thursday night. Playoff hopes are now at 1% since they are not yet mathematically eliminated. Good job, Ravens. They looked like the '94 - '97 Steelers out there today. Big back. Power running. Key 3rd down throws. Lots of sacks. Solid special teams. I expected if we lost to get beat by turnovers. We just got plain beat.

I Like Under Appreciated John Waite

When we first got MTV in our area, which is when it debuted, one of my favorite videos was "Change" by John Waite. I've always liked the song as well. Waite is one of those under appreciated guys in my opinion. I'm sure he has a base following since he's been in The Babys, but after that I can only remember two solo hits "Change" and "Missing You" but I could be forgetting some. He was also a part of the super group Bad English which had a huge hit with "When I see you smile". Anyway, I was browsing through iTunes the other day and came across a gem. There is a cd of 80's music redone acoustically by the original artists. I bought 2 of the singles - John Waite's "Missing You" which is a superb version and The Outfield's "Your Love". I think Waite has a fantastic voice and in the next few weeks I'm going to go over his entire catalogue to see if I can find anything else I like.

Jim Mora Jr. To Be Tested For Drug Abuse

The league has tuned in recently to comments made by Falcons head coach Jim Mora Jr. The coach had to strongly defend his quarterback Mike Vick this week after Mora's father, ex NFL head coach turned commentator Jim Mora Sr. called Vick a "coach killer". Well, he didn't say it - but he agreed with another commentator who did. Here is what Mora Jr was quoted as saying:

"I'm a huge Mike Vick fan. I always have been," the coach said. "I love the guy. He's a great player and I think he's a better person. I don't care what anybody says about Mike. If I was starting a franchise and I could pick one guy all-time, I would pick Mike Vick. That's how I feel about it."

Wow. When the league abuse committee heard this, they rushed over to Mora Jr's house and took him away in cuffs to be tested. Everyone is waiting to see what drug is in his system. I'm guessing crack, but most money seems to be on heroin since it's a hallucinagen. The league said maybe if he didn't say "all-time" they would have let him slide with a warning - but the fact that he felt compelled to disagree so strongly is what caused the apprehension and testing. After he's tested and detoxed - he'll be given a blank pad and pen and asked to rank all-time quarterbacks until he gets to Vick. If he doesn't go through about 4 sheets (front & back) first - he'll be carted off to be evaluated at a mental institution.

This Chick Is In A Pickle

This is crazy. I can't believe this is true. I believe the video is real enough, I just think they paid this chick to do this and she's basically an actress playing a part. If she was really as terrified as she acts, why on earth would she work in a place that serves food? That would be the equivalent of someone that's afriad of heights working in a skyscraper. Stupid. I have a hard time believeing people even watch that show, but they must since it's been on the air as long as I can remember. I work in IT, but I'm terrified of optical mice! I work in a casino, but the site of playing cards makes me wet my pants. I'm a maid, but drier sheets keep me up at night. I'm a hooker, but I pass out if I lay my eyes on a big hairy..........spider. Fooled ya!

Go Denver! Our Playoff Map

If you take into consideration that our only shot at making the playoffs is as the 6th seed, then we have to follow the logic of that scenario with who we root for. We need all of the current division winners to keep winning so the wildcard race doesn't get "muddied" up. The only exception to that rule of course is when we play the Ravens. We also need the highest wildcard team (most likely San Diego or Denver) to continue to win. Why? Because it's amazing how many times current division winners and the top wildcard spot play teams that we need to lose (Jets, Chiefs, Bengals, Jacksonville) in order to gain entry into the playoffs. True, we haven't even won three games in a row yet - but I'm off today and decided to look at the schedules for shits and giggles. Here is how we make it.

We win the remaining 6 games.
The Ravens beat the Bengals and the Chiefs.
The Broncos beat the Bengals and the Chiefs.
The Colts beat the Jaguars and the Bengals.
The Patriots beat the Jaguars.
The Chargers beat the Chiefs.
Jaguars would have to lose 1 more game to (Bills, Dolphins, Chiefs, Titans)
Jets would have to lose 2 games to (Texans, Packers, Bills, Vikings, Dolphins, Raiders)

In the current wildcard race - what would remain would look like this:

Denver: Doesn't even matter what the record is
Steelers: 10-6
Jaguars: 9-7
Chiefs: 9-7 even at 10-6 we have the tiebreak
Bengals: 8-8 heck, let them win another one, 9-7

Not worried about Miami since we have the tiebreaker with them as well. From this mess, you can see that the wildcard teams in front of us don't have it easy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the hardest part of this equation will be us finishing out at 6-0. Anything is possible, but sweeping the Ravens and beating the Bengals will not be easy. Carolina is no slouch either. We're in trouble, but there is at least a chance. My new playoff prediction is now a 7% chance, up from 5%. I have this terrible feeling we will fight back and be 5-0 and all the other teams lose and all we will need to do to make the playoffs is win our last game against the Bengals.....and we'll lose by either a fumble on a punt or a tipped pick. Bah-Humbug!

Fountain of Diet Coke Truth!

So I like Diet Coke, sue me. Not only do I not need the calories, I actually like the way it tastes. I don't think I really need the caffeine, as a 12 oz. can only contains 35-40 mg anyway. Some 6 oz. cups of coffee have 80 mg and that's for a 6 oz. cup made the way the directions state. If you make it slightly stronger and have 2 10 oz. mugs, you're easily over the caffeine intake of 150 mg where most literature states caffeine(ism) symptoms can start. I normally have 2 cans a day so I'm topped out around 70-80 mg of caffeine. Yummy. Since I switched to Diet Coke about 10 years ago, I've noticed that I seem to like the taste better coming from a fountain source like McDonald's or the local convenience store. In fact, even though we buy Diet Coke by the case for the house, I sometimes find myself driving to McDonald's after I drop my daughter off for school to purchase a Diet Coke for way more than it would cost at home to have the same amount. Why? Well, I just found out about a week ago. Aspartame is used as the sweetener in Diet Coke when it's canned or bottled. However, when you get it from a fountain - the box of syrup has small amounts of saccharin mixed in because aspartame has a short shelf life in the syrup. The saccharin changes the taste ever so slightly and I love it. Mmmmm, saccharin. There's so much misinformation out there about diet soda, saccharin and aspartame that it's not funny.While I'll admit some of the chemicals affect some people in an adverse way - in the amounts in diet sodas - they don't hurt the general public. The tests from the 70's on saccharin were so wrong it's not funny. As it turns out, they now think the needles used for the injections to the mice may have caused the cancer. In the same exact type of lab mice used in those tests with the same needles - they developed cancer when injected with water! In 2000 congress repealed the law requiring a warning on products sweetened with saccharin. Also, the amounts used in the tests was about 50 times that of normal daily consumption. And aspartame? It's the most tested product ever by the FDA. Some people with certain medical conditions don't react well to it - but even at ridiculous amounts - there is no conclusive evidence that it's bad for you. Some tests show a correlation, but none of them were controlled - who knows what those people were eating? And the diet soda myth - that it can actually make you gain weight? Again, the test only followed a handful of people and the subjects answered questionnaires. No controlled testing. Nothing. If you weighed 350 pounds and drank diet soda for 5 years and then weighed 360 pounds....the test showed you as a diet soda drinker who gained weight! Don't believe me? Go to Wikiopedia and read all about it. Read the saccharin article. Read the aspartame article. Read the Diet Soda article. That's where these facts came from. Why was I compelled to read about Diet Coke on Wikipedia? Because a room full of engineers at work stuffing their faces with pizzeria pizza, potato chips, chocolate and leaded Coke thinks it amusing that I drink Diet Coke. I think of all things mentioned - the Diet Coke is the least likely to kill you! They felt pressured enough by consumers to make a Splenda version of DC. It uses sucralose which is real sugar minus the calorie chemical - or something like that. I tried it...didn't like the taste. Diet Coke, just for the taste of it......mmmmmm.

Elusive Playoff Hunt of '06

Well, even though the Steelers won on Sunday, they didn't gain much in the playoff hunt because most of the teams in front of them won as well. We need help, and lots of it. The Bolts took over the division lead and now the Broncos are in with the wildcard teams.

First Wildcard Team (Seed 5) Denver 7-3

We need to move into this second spot:
Second Wildcard Team (Seed 6) Jacksonville 6-4

Others ahead of us:
Kansas City 6-4 We could tie them and finish ahead.
NY Jets 5-5
Cincinnati 5-5
Steelers 4-6

We need a few teams to finish up at 3-3 to even have a chance.

Gender Ambiguity

So I'm watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight with my 7-year-old daughter. She's not a huge Peanuts fan as they aren't nearly as popular with young kids today as they were when I was her age in 1975. I wouldn't be surprised if I've read 75-80% of the strips written. I used to get the compilation books out of the school library all the time, even in high school. Anyway, we own the Christmas special and she likes it, but we only watch it around Christmas so she never really had a chance for them to grow on her. The Thanksgiving special features Peppermint Patty in a prominent role. After she called "Chuck" and invited herself over for dinner, my daughter looked at me and very innocently asked "Is that a boy or a girl?". I almost died laughing. Again, since I was in high school, the debate has raged as to which sex Patty prefers. Does she really like Chuck, or does she just say that while she secretly pines for Marcy? We'll never know. I've often wondered if the ambiguity was intended by Charles Schultz. I'm guessing we'll never know. Another thing I picked up on tonight - when the friends came over - Peppermint Patty and Marcy walked in the house and simply said "Hi". When Franklin (the only African American Peanut) walks in, he "slaps" Charlie Brown "five". A bit of a stereotype maybe for the year this came out (1973)?

Peter King Is Off His Rocker

You know what's horrible? When sports pundits have to make shit up just to fill some time. On the advice of Still A. Dog, I've really really really - I mean seriously - cut down on my football pre game watching this year. He finally convinced me of what I knew in my heart 5 years ago but still loved to start watching football at 11:00 AM on Sunday mornings....we know as much as they do. They might have better connections and they might understand the game itself a little more than us...but if you watch or have watched a lot of football games in your lifetime - there isn't much they can say that you don't already know. With every passing year I lose more respect for Mr. King's opinions. I read him in SI and I usually read his "Monday Morning Quarterback" article on SI.com - but more and more - he seems to be writing for the casual fan that might not question alot of what he's been writing about. He recently wrote in a MMQB article that Nick Saban is one of the top 5 coaches in the NFL. He was called out on it the following day by about every loyal reader he has. Instead of owning up to making a mistake - he changed his logic for saying why he said it. Well, I was watching the last 10 minutes of HBO's NFL show today while waiting for Madagascar to start and he was comparing the trade for Eli Manning that the Giants made to the Herschel Walker trade from the Cowboys to the Vikings. He went through the players that the Chargers got, and then had the audacity to compare it to the Herschel Walker trade! Yes, he did! I think it's a tad early to be comparing Eli Manning to Herschel at the end of his career. Don't you think? And why even have that little 2 minute commentary before you can safely evaluate it from all angles? I'll tell you why. He's a Charger lover. Just like he's a Bill Parcells lover. Just like he's a Tom Brady and Bill Belichek lover. He is losing his cred with serious football fans every time he makes a statement like that instead of just telling us about the week in football and getting us good info from his sources. I'm not a Manning family fan, but I'll take his side in this debate for now. If the Giants win a Super Bowl and the Rivers lead Chargers do not - will he take that back? The only thing that can be compared in those trades is that one of the teams in each was able to fill a lot of needs quickly. Hershel was supposed to take an already good team over the top and failed. Eli was brought in to grow into the role of team leader and be there for 10-15 years.

Steelers Stay Somewhat Alive

Wow. Another game right down to the wire. Why is it that I always get the feeling this year that they don't start playing their best ball until they realize they have to? There always seems to be a mad push at the end of games to get back in it or stay ahead. Ben's picks again weren't that worrisome as one was a tip and another hit Hines in the gut and came back out. Did you catch when Steve Tasker claimed after Ward caught a critical 3rd down pass within the last 4 minutes of the game that "you have to trust Ward in that situation because he is the one player that will never...EVER fumble when the game is on the line". Maybe he didn't catch the game when Hines fumbled on the 1 inch line and killed another late game comeback attempt? I don't have a ton of comments on this game. With the exception of the Chiefs game, we're really pushing the envelope on every game. I would LOVE to sit down and watch a spanking some weekend soon where I don't have to sit on the edge of my seat as the game is coming to a close. I'll update the playoff situation tomorrow.

If They Make It, I Will Come

Here is the trailer for the new Rocky movie. I'm hoping it's much better than 3, 4 and 5. I loved Rocky, the original and it holds up well. I just watched it about a year ago for probably the 5th or 6th time. Rocky II was decent as well. What I had a problem with was how Rocky suddenly gained 50 IQ points in 3 and 4, and then much like Algernon - lost them again in 5. I remember as a kid in high school going to see 4 when he fought the Russian (Drago?) played by Dolph Lundgren (I think?). Too long ago and I don't care enough to IMDB it. My friends and I were cheering like we were at the fight. Weird that he's going to play Rocky again and actually box in this movie since he didn't even box in 5. In 5, he had a street fight with Tommy Morrison at the end of the movie. I bet I'll be disappointed, but I like the series enough to at least go see it over the holidays.

Why Is "Boob" A 4-Letter Word?

I was asked this morning via email to review a product that I bought on Overstock.com as it currently has no reviews. I thought "oh, goody" and clicked the link. I bought both my grandmother and her sister a prayer book. They want you to be specific in the review and talk about why the product is good. I started typing and without thinking about language filters I said that my grandmother is old and in a wheelchair which limits what she can do and basically just reads and watches the boob tube. After completing the form I clicked submit and I got a message warning me that my submission contained PORNOGRAPHY and could not be used as entered. I changed "boob tube" to "tube" and clicked submit again and it passed. Since I'm in software QA, things like this crack me up. What if it was a book on breast self-examination? What if I said "breast"? What I can tell you is this....I bought a lot of things on Overstock for Christmas this year - and then next review opportunity I get....I'm going to test the limits of their filter. I should have tried "b00b" with zeros but I didn't. No matter how smart people try to make filters, they can be circumvented with little effort. I would think that a company that sells TVs on their website might want to allow "boob tube" in reviews. It's easy enough to check fo "boob tube" as opposed to just "boob". Boob. What a silly word.

Laugh Out Loud Funny

A link forwarded to me by Still A. Rockin. My favorite part is when he disappears back up into the ceiling and then falls on top of the merchandise. I have a really good friend who works for a company that sells security cameras that respond like this one does. It continues to zoom and focus on faces, making it easier for police to identify criminals in security camera footage. The ladder hits home to me because like an idiot I've fallen off of one twice since living in our new house. The first time I was looking for the sewage pipe running between the cement wall and the finished wall of our basement which are separated by about 6-8 inches. I was weirdly propelled as the ladder fell and my knee went through the drywall. Nice. The second time was on Christmas day. I was standing on top of a 4' step ladder (yes, there is a warning right there that says not to do it) reaching into some rafters built into my garage looking for the "fit kit" to put a Thule storage box on top of my car for a trip back to western PA. Once the box was located, I needed an extra inch or two to grab it. As I recoiled and unleashed to give myself the extra distance - the ladder went down and I fell into an area 2 feet wide between 2 cars on a cement floor. Again, I was propelled and backed into my wife's car slightly denting the area right in front of the driver's door. It made a horrible sound when you opened the door for a few days and then it finally bent in such a way that it stopped screeching. It took this dummy 2 times to respect the power of the ladder!

Bob Saget, My Way (NAFW)

This is a great clip. The Bob Saget most people know was on Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. The man has mad cheddar, let's face it. Those two shows were on forever and will be on forever in reruns. Most people don't realize Saget works "blue" doing standup. Always has. Always will. It's what makes him one of Howard Stern's favorite guests. He's hilarious. I used to think he was straight-laced myself until I heard him on Stern. Here's a taste of Saget on a college campus. If you want more...go to Youtube.com and seach on him. There's plenty of funny stuff out there. He's 51 dating a 23 year old! You go Danny Tanner!

TJ Talks The Talk and Collapses Like A Yugo

This clip is pretty good. It's a hit put on TJ Hoosyermamma yesterday as he came across the middle against San Diego. He gets popped by McCree, and then Dan DierDork goes off on McCree for two solid minutes.....and he's wrong. He calls McCree "Bush League" and implicates he will be heavily fined. I think he owes McCree an apology myself. He claims he hit TJ "way too" early. In fact, he hit him less than 1/2 of a second early at realtime speed. He claims he lead with his helmet. I disagree completely. I'd like to know who was in the booth with the old man because he should have corrected him. While McCree had every chance to light him up with the crown of his helmet, only the side quarter of his helmet touched Hoosh. He without a doubt turned his head to avoid a much harder hit. To me, it looked like he lead with his shoulder all the way, and his head ended up taking maybe 30% of the blow. For Dan to just rant and rant about it doesn't make it any more true. Man, I hated him on MNF and I was hoping he was out of the league. I guess not. I didn't miss him. He's old and boring. Good lineman. Bad announcer. TJ loves to strut his stuff and egg on away crowds and run his mouth. Remember, this is the guy who cleaned his shoes with a Terrible Towel last year in Pittsburgh. People get more jacked up to play you when you do that. He has to know that.

Rudy '08

It's about time. Rudy Guiliani filed papers today to allow himself to raise money for exploration into running for president. That makes me pretty happy. I like checks and balances and since the democrats just gained control of the House and Senate, I'd love to see another Republican president. In fact, I'd love to say "President Guiliani". It has a nice ring to it. Rudy doesn't take any shit and changed Times Square from an embarassment to a major tourist attraction. He cleaned up the streets of New York and did it quickly and efficiently. To run NYC is like running a small country. If you can do that, you can be the president. This might not make Pataki very happy as I think he was exploring the same possibility. Guiliani is easily the most recognizable Republican across the nation not currently working for the White House. Colin Powell would ne the other and from what i've read, he has no political aspirations at this point. Where can I buy my bumper sticker?