Wow. Mixes Made In Heaven

So, to me, putting Pulp Fiction together with Star Wars is pretty cool since I am a huge fan of both movies. They could have made it more personable for me if everyone was wearing Steeler helmets, eating ice cream and had 80's metal playing in the background..but these are still pretty cool. You won't think this is funny unless you saw Pulp, but if you did, it's pretty damn creative. The second clip must have many hours involved as some of it matches up perfectly. I bet if QT saw this he was laughing his ass off.

Howard Nails It

Howard Stern is pretty good at predicting celebrity break-ups. Shortly after Hilary Swank won her Oscar for Boys Don't Cry Stern predicted it wouldn't be long before she left Rob Lowe's little brother. He's so insignificant I can't even recall his name....Chad maybe? Well, right around the time of her second nominee it was over. Likewise, right after Reese Witherspoon won her Oscar, he was kidding around the next day about her leaving Ryan Phillippe. Done....unless of course he was nailing the nanny. Howard's theory is that stars of different magnitudes can't stay together for long. Can we disprove that theory? I'm not sure I care enough to try to find the exception to the rule.

Scariest Hayride Ever

Wow. I bet some people are still convinced it was fake!

Thank You Falcons!

I had Atlanta in a 29 pool. No team has hit 29 points yet so I got $32 x 8 weeks for a cool $256. Funny how I'm in 3 "pools" this year. I tied for a win in the cut throat league, I hit the 29 pool and I'm currently in first place in my division for fantasy football. I want to say it's good football year until I think about my Stillers.

A Deal With the Devil

...and I'm OK with that. We got our bowl last year. They almost put 30 years in between the last SB win. If they do that again, I'll be 67 when they win their next one. So, I have to be honest. If Satan himself presented himself to me at the start of last year and said "Listen kid, if I let the Stillers go all out and win the whole darn thing this year....Then they're mine and I get to break them down and embarrass them the following season. otherwise, they can go 11-5 both years and get canned in the playoffs." It would take me 2 seconds to say "Sold" to Beelzebub. There are a good many teams left who haven't even been in the Super Bowl yet, let alone win five of them. We're just going to have to suck it up and realize that we're not going to make any noise this year at all. Maybe we'll come back hungrier next year - determined to prove to everyone that we're better than an 8-8 team. I feel terrible for Ben. Four more picks. One was tipped and one was the equivalent of a punt, but come on. He held onto the ball way too long today as well. The offensive line forgot how to pass block all of a sudden. The NFL is a funny animal. There isn't that much difference between starters and backups and maybe even less difference between elite teams and average teams when looking at records only. The only thing that is different from last year is our severe problem of turning the ball over. Simple as that. We don't turn it over even HALF as much and we win those games. I spent 6 hours outside building stone walls today for a home project and I didn't even yell at the TV today. In the 3rd quarter I was playing Jenga with my daughter while watching the game. It's weird but it's like I totally understand and am prepared for the worst kind of season imaginable. With today's loss, it is very unlikely they could overtake both the Ravens and the Bengals for a playoff spot. Now we're going to see what this team is made of. Are they going to pack it in, or show some pride and scratch and claw? I don't want to guess at this point. Stay tuned.

Halloween Party

So the adults got to go to a grown up party last night after we shipped the princess off to a friend's house for the night. We had a great time. The party was hosted by friends who have girl in our homeroom and she was also on swim team. They hired a bartender and a DJ and had about 80 people there. Note to self: it's very dangerous dressing as a Steeler when the team isn't doing very well and you don't live in Steeler country. Well, the Birds are going through a tough time right now too so I didn't take too much crap. I wish I could have found a spear. I kind of like the way the long hair felt, I may have to grow mine out.

Slanted #30

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Slanted #29

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Mexican Border Fence Feel-Good Legislature Only

I hate it when stuff like this comes up near election time. Sure, it sounds good and it gets some people to the polls (which is the intention) but really - what does it solve? 700 miles of fence for a 2,100 mile border is like giving a whale a tic-tac for bad breath. People will still be smuggled over. People will still tunnel under. People will climb the fence. I just can't stand this type of legislature because it solves nothing. If you want to solve the problem, solve the problem. Put up a 2,100 mile wall. Anything else will be circumvented. Go all the way, or don't waste our money. I'm not saying I want a 12 foot wall that can be seen from space.....I'm just saying don't waste our money and try to sell this weak-ass solution.

The Dump Truck Cometh

People can be so clueless. I'll help out by letting everyone in on the "dirty" little secret. I just read something somewhere where the author thought it was cool that Najeh Davenport is being called "The Dump Truck" in Pittsburgh. He likened it to Bettis being "The Bus" because of their extra large stature. Well, in some regard, yes....but Paul Harvey needs to sit this guy down on a "stool" and give him the rest of the story. Najeh was once accused of - and he accepted several hours of community service to not have it on his record - defecating in a woman's shoe in her closet while in school. Wow. Usually people get upset when they get shit on the BOTTOM of their shoes. Get it now? Poop? Dump? Dropping the kids off at the pool? Deploying the troops? Bombing the Serbs? Laying some pipe? Get it? Ah, now it makes sense. Well, to whatever degree pooping in someone's shoe makes sense. Do you think he squatted? I often wonder if he meant to hit the shoe - or if he was just pooping in the closet and he didn't care where it landed. If he was really drunk, he may have thought it was the bathroom and the light was just burned out. One night when my friends and I first started drinking - a kid thought he threw up in the toilet in the middle of the night. As it turns out, he threw up in a big decorative wicker vase! Shit happens. If I was a real sportswriter....I'd write things like "he really squirted through the line there" and "he blasted that one right up in there". When he's having a bad day? "Man is Najeh stinking up the joint today". I could go on and on...."Roethlisberger flushed out of the pocket, he looks to dump it off to Davenport". See? This is easy.

Other NFL Players I Root For

I had this conversation recently - besides Steelers, here are my favorites:

Drew Brees - He's been a winner at every level.
Tiki Barber - What a nice guy. He has a good Sirius show.
Warrick Dunn - Pound-for-pound maybe the toughest runner in the league. He buys houses for single mothers as well. His mom was shot and killed when he was young.
Torry Holt - One of the best, yet not a prima donna. Always good-natured.
Joey Jerevicius - My favorite #3 in the league. Tough guy!
Brian Urlacher - A Steeler at heart.
John Lynch - See Urlacher.
Brett Favre - Just fun to watch, win or lose. Just a regular guy.
Jake Delhomme - See Favre.

Wow. I can't even really come up with 10. Dunn may be my favorite of the bunch. I'd like to see the numbers he would put up if he were given a chance to tote the rock as much as a Priest Holmes or Marshall Faulk in their primes.

It's Called EZ-Pass For A Reason!

Listen people, EZ-Pass was developed to make paying for toll roads mindless. Simply continue driving and the toll will be put on your credit card. Not even. We pay in $70 chunks and then when the amount is depleted - they hit the card for another $70. Easy as pie. Right? Wrong! I use the turnpike every other day on my commute to work. I fly through the EZ lanes usually going around 20 mph even though the posted limit is 10. I've already received 1 warning in the mail for speeding through a lane, but I don't remember where that was. We have a few lanes near us where they break it off and separate the gates from the rest of the change throwers and you don't even have to slow down to go through them. New York and New Jersey have some lanes where you can stay around 35-45 mph. I digress. Yesterday as I'm moving over to use the EZ-Pass lane, the woman in front of me slowed down to a CRAWL as she approached the gate......then she stopped. I could tell she was leaning over into the passenger seat or something. I thought maybe she was in the wrong lane. I counted to 5 real slow and then I did what any other American would do - I honked the horn at her and threw my hands in the air in the universal sign for "what's up?". Just as I honked I saw what was up. She had her EZ-Pass unit in her hand and she held it up to the great card reader like a heathen praying to a golden calf. I've seen other people do this, albeit a little more gracefully than this particular lady. Please, when you give your credit card to the waitress at the Sizzler, do you follow her to make sure she doesn't run it through a card scanner or jot the numbers down? Have you ever bought anything online? Do you shred every document that leaves your house? You have effectively killed the brilliant simplicity of the entire EZ-Pass system! What's the difference between stopping to get your unit in your hand (no jokes please) or fishing around in your purse for quarters? None! I wouldn't be totally surprised if the EZ reader picks up the unit regardless if it's glued to your windshield or sitting on your front seat. Which reminds me, If you're not going to stick it to your windshield, could you at minimum SIT IT ON YOUR FRONT SEAT? That way you won't have to stop people like me who embrace technology from barrelling through at twice the legal speed limit! Damn!

Ho Hum

Good news for the week - I lost, I mean won the Cut Throat pool I was in. Don't get too excited, I had to share that honor with about 11 other people. Stupid Jacksonville! Talk about stupid, the Steelers fumbled THREE times today. They couldn't be stopped on offense, yet they managed to stop themselves...again. 2-4. There is no way we can finish the season 9-1 to end up 11-5. The Steelers path to the playoffs this year is going to be winning the division. We'll have to root for the Bengals and Ravens to fall flat on their faces and win the division with a 10-6 or 9-7 record. I can't believe with the talent on this team that they can continue to lose in this fashion. For Christ's sake - put Hines Ward back there to return kicks. These are drastic times. I can't even believe Cowher can look at his Special Teams players right now. Holmes is really lucky he is turning into dependable pass catcher. I think they outpassed the Falcons by more than 150 yards. They were 7-11 on 3rd down and Atlanta was 8-16. Had Nate Washington set himself and not flinched, we may have won that game. Reed isn't money from that distance, but he can make them. My attitude is totally changing about sports the older I get. I had a ton of yard work to do todayand the second Mort's kick went through the uprights I got up, changed clothes and went outside. No big deal. Maybe that's what winning the Bowl last year did to me. We got ours. I can relax a little. Losing games is one thing - handing games to the Bengals and Falcons by not holding onto the ball is crazy. What's really funny is that after Oakland - Denver and the Saints are waiting for a shot at the champs. Do you realize if they keep doing this, they could end up being 3-6! We need a 5 or 6 game winning streak badly. As a matter of fact, we need A win badly.

Believe This!

Ok, Ok, Ok....my hardcore peeps won't like this, but as a kid in Jr. High Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" was one of my favorite songs. To this day, when I hear it on the radio I turn it up....and sing.....badly. Here are two really different versions of it. The first is from one of those college choral groups that every university seems to have and they all have cutesy names that really border on being gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). Here are the Clefhangers from UNC. The second is instrumental from a group called LowStrung. I'm not sure which one I like better - but someone should have done the guitar solo. It's not like Neil Schon can't be copied. Has anyone seen the dude Journey is touring with in place of Steve Perry? He sounds just like him. Weird. YouTube is my new TV. God help me.

Captain Jenks Rocks

These are some prank phone calls made to C-Span. If you listen closely, you can tell that most of them are from the same guy. It's Captain Jenks, a regular caller to the Stern show. He lives about 5 miles from us and always performs on weekends at a local Bar that I've been to many times. He's hilarious and some of the networks have just caught on and started screening for his number. He was on once and said how easy it is to get through the person screening the calls. He now has to change his phone number every few months to get on national tv. He is at his best when tragedy strikes, which is kind of sad, but it's still funny. When C-Span or CNN is live from a plane crash or something of that nature - you can bet Jenks is working the phones like crazy trying to get through. Even the female voices are his I believe. Good stuff - did you catch the Pakastani guy's name?

The Man In Black - Full Circle

Remember when you were a kid, how you didn't like any of the music your parents listened to? Worse yet, your grandparents? My grandmother on my mother's side and her brother liked Johnny Cash, Roy Clark, Buck Owens and other artists of that era. My mother was a Statler Brother's fan. I can't make fun of Still A Dad's tastes because he had The Door's, ELP and other albums I would listen to. If we all happened to be at my grandmother's house or home watching TV and Johnny Cash would come on - we'd giggle and make fun. When you're 12 and listening to Kiss and Aerosmith, it's hard to appreciate Johnny Cash. As you get older and learn about the history of music, it's easier to appreciate what people like Cash and Elvis Presley did. I still never bought a Cash recording - but at least I respected what he did. I'm like that with The Beatles as well. I love music but I've never really been drawn to anything The Beatle's ever recorded. It's just a personal preference. It's why I own every Zeppelin CD yet never bought a single Rolling Stones recording. Since Still A Dog turned me on to the blues 10 years ago and I've gone back and bought CDs of the blue's masters before a guitar was ever plugged in - I can appreciate more what these early artists did. I watched the movie "Walk The Line" twice since it debuted on cable and I love it. Even though Cash was a joke to me when I was young, I can see now that he was a rebel back then. What's hilarious about people like Cash and Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings is that they were drugged up just as much or MORE than today's artists. My grandmother to this day would equate someone that takes one hit off of a joint to an addict laying in a alley somewhere. I think they are clueless as to some of these artist's pasts. They may only know the Cash that turned to Jesus and showed up regularly on TV singing gospel. They wouldn't believe you if you told them Willie Nelson smokes more pot than Snoop Dogg and Bhusta Ryhmes combined.....still. Anyway, I knew Cash covered a NIN song and a Soundgarden song on one of his last CDs. I found the video he did for Hurt originally recorded by Nine Inch Nails. It's fantastic. I may actually go out to iTunes today and download 5-10 Cash songs, Hurt included. Cash isn't the only person that fits this paradigm for me, but I have gone from considering him a joke and only for 'old' people, to respecting him from afar, to being a little more curious about him, to actually liking him as an artist. Is that maturity....or am I just now old myself?

Bin Ladin Disrespects The Steelers

Now this crazy F'er is even picking against us!

It Hurts When I Laugh, Charlie Brown

Funny!

Cool Test

Thanks to Phil A Bird for sending this in. <---- Click It It's a test to see how cool you are. It's real short, doesn't take very long. It asks you a few multiple choice questions based on music, wardrobe, movies and the like with a few situational things thrown in.

Fan & Dog @ Heinz

Still A Fan & Still A Dog enjoying a brew before the game last Sunday. On the right, Heinz field on a perfect day for football. This was supposed to be a keeper of a picture of me and Heinz - but as you can see, Genco Dave's girlfriend Racquel leaned into the shot. Dog, it's funny, Racquel is in 3 pictures you took and none of them are with Dave. The picture you took of Dave - he's alone. Poor guy. Tell you what, if I have time tonight - I'll photoshop Dave and Racquel together. There's no picture of Wendell either! Good thing as he might have broken your camera.

Please Just Fade Off Into The Sunset

What's with Madonna these days? I guess she's realizing she can't get into the news with her music or acting anymore, so she's trying anything to get back in the headlines. A month ago she started her world tour by entering the stage crucified on a cross. Super. That's so 1985. You can't shock us with that anymore. Why not put out a book of nothing but nude pictures of yourself....oh wait, you did that already. Yeah, we're tired of you. You're not relevant anymore. Go away. Quietly. Yeah, you ruled the 80's and early 90's....now it's somebody else's turn. What? You want to adopt an African boy? Not a baby but an actual child? Whose Father is still alive? Why not just give the dad enough money to care for the kid so he can get out of the orphanage? Why not hook his old man up with a cool million, that will change his life? Did she see all the attention Bradjolina got for doing this so now she has to try it. "Look at me, look at me...I'm good too!!!!". You know what's really ironic? All these liberal Hollywood types like to say "how can we do this and how can we do that with our money when so many kids are starving right here in America...."? I've heard that so many times. Well then, why not adopt a starving American or simply give an African nation a ton of dough instead of thinking you're doing the world a favor by adopting a child from a 3rd world nation? Great, you saved this kid....what about the other 6 million Africans? Giving them 50% of the money you'll never use would help way more kids than the 1 she's going to parade around to remind people how good she is. Next week....Nicole Kidman to adopt 2 North Koreans. Can't we leave the adopting of children to real parents who want the kids because they love kids - not so they can get in the news. Madonna had a meeting with her handlers who gave her 3 options to get in the news this week: video a sexcapade with Paris Hilton, join the ARMY and ask to be deployed to Iraq or adopt an African.

Other Things From NFL Week 6

I almost forgot - props go out to Chiefs fans for creating the biggest away showing I've ever seen at a home Pittsburgh game. That's not to say there were a lot of Chiefs fans - just more than I'm used to seeing. I went to a game at Three Rivers Stadium circa 1992 with Still A Oregon when they were playing the Houston Oilers. This is no lie, I saw 2 Oiler fans the entire day. I went to a Monday Night Football game with Still A Hater vs. the Colts back in the early days of Heinz field and with the exception of him - I don't remember seeing too many Colts fans. I was at the Eagles showdown in 2004 and would guess before this week that's the most away fans I have seen in Pittsburgh and there were still well under 3,000....maybe 2,000. This week, however, I'm betting there were potentially 3,000-4,000 people decked out in red. As I looked around the stadium, every section had a smattering of Chiefs fans. All good natured - nobody looking for trouble, and I didn't see any Steeler fans giving anyone a hard time. On the flip side of that - the fewest Steeler fans I've ever seen at an away game that I was at was in 1997 at old Foxboro field. However, the Pats fans were nice and it didn't hurt that I was with Still A Pat. I remember being at a game we lost in Philadelphia where Bettis scored late to make it close and towels were everywhere. The announcers on the local sports talk radio show couldn't stop talking about how many Steeler fans were there that day. Still A Dog said he heard NFL Films was putting together a special this year about Steeler fans at away games. Something about how well they travel, but me and the Dog both think there are just a lot of Steeler fans across the country and most of the fans at away games are probably living within 100 miles of the stadium.

Last night was the most exciting MNF game I've seen in a while. Poor Neil Rackers. Poor Denny Green! Matt Leinart impressed me last night. He did everything he needed to to win. Did anyone hear Joe Theisman say as time was winding down and it was 2nd down - "they should keep the ball in the air here."? WHAT? It was a no-brainer in my mind to run the ball twice and then kick a FG. Neil was money last year. What coach (besides Martz?) would put the ball in the air with less than 2 minutes to play inside the opponent's 20 on 2nd down with Neil Rackers on the sideline? Theisman will say A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G to hear the sound of his voice. I actually enjoy trying to find fault with everything he says. He is a moron and I'm convinced myself and any 2 friends I picked could do just as well in the booth as him. Idiot.

Miami Fight - Hypocrites Abound

I'm sure I don't have to recall here what happened in the Miami game over the weekend. What a fiasco. 31 players reprimanded, both school's officials forced to apologize for the behavior. The announcer of the game, former Hurricane Lamar Thomas was fired for his idiotic comments during the fight where he said they should meet in the tunnel after the game and said he was close to going down the elevator to join the melee. You can take the man out of Miami...but you can't take the Miami out of the man. Has any school ever given the NFL so many troubled players? I would love to know if the suspended players could have gotten into "The U" if they didn't play football. Well, here's the most hypocritical thing surrounding the game: The cable network that ran the game in the local area replays the games on Wednesdays. This week, they are going to replay the game twice - but they are going to edit out the comments made by Thomas. Huh? Why not edit out the fight? If you were so outraged over the violence and the comments made - why include the fight at all and why show the game twice? Oh - now I understand. Ratings. Money. It's kind of like the NFL toughening up rules about hits and stuff while giving their blessing to games like NFL Blitz. Do they think we're stupid?

Romeo & Juliet, by BeerShakes

Too Funny.

Thoughts From The Game

Geez, I was afraid to go to the bathroom yesterday for fear of missing a score. It's a good day when you can't remember seeing your punter on the field too many times. It was great weather to watch football also. The web said 50 but once the sun went in the wind was whipping the cold air off the water right through the stadium. It felt like football. I wouldn't be surprised if it was down to 40 walking to the car. I went with Still A Dog (as usual) and we had a great time (as usual) partying with the gang from Genco (as usual). Again, no order to my thoughts here but I'll just dump some of them out: The rust is off of Ben. If he had a normal off-season and pre-season, I think this is where he would have started in week 1 and our record might be really different. I think if Chokely hadn't dropped that punt against the Bengals we'd be 3-2 instead of 2-3. I think they confused the heck out of Huard by not blitzing very much. All he saw were Steeler jerseys every time he surveyed the field. I think it was good to see Chad Brown get a garbage sack and hear the crowd cheer for him. I think it was equally good to hear them "boo" Kendrell Bell every time his name was called (twice?). I liked him when he was here and he was on the verge of something special, but then he just couldn't stay healthy. I think I'm sorry I ripped the deep backup LBs as they did an outstanding job yesterday. Larry Johnson couldn't find any running room at all and he took it out on Troy's hair! I loved watching Bill Cowher walk 10 steps onto the field to congratulate Najeh Davenport after his 48 yard run. The "DUMP Truck" came out of the closet and defecated on the Chiefs front seven yesterday getting 78 yards and a TD on 11 carries. That TD was a classic goal line situation. They ran him 3 times on 4 downs I think, twice for no gain....my memory could be off here as I had a lot of liquid before the game started. I liked that they handed out free Tums on the way into the game because I needed them before I went to bed last night. I didn't like the short FG miss, but it's his first miss under 40 yards in over a season. Also, if he's going to miss - let him miss in a blowout. We stayed until the final gun but a ton of people started leaving at the beginning of the 4th quarter. Another huge seat-clearing event was the pick/return in the 4th quarter. I only get to 1, sometimes 2 games per year so I like to stay until the very end. The day was made sweeter by finding out the Ravens and the Bengals lost. How Steve McNairish of Steve McNair to go out with an injury this early in the season. I saw the hit and it didn't look bad at all. He is more injury prone than a pretzle stick. Boller had some TD passes but 2 of them were lucky batted balls. The Ravens may not even win 10 games this year after starting out 4-0. We'll see. The Falcons can't be taken lightly but if we get past them, we should waltz to a winning record against Oakland and be standing at 4-3. At that point, it will seem very realistic to finish up 7-2 for a 11-5 record. I stayed alive in the Cut Throat League as well by picking Denver over Oakland. I think about 12 players remain in that game.

Bab-bling Update

Wow. Geez, it almost sounds like I wrote this article.....

Next To Play LB....ME!

Oh no they didn't? The Steelers resigned Chad Brown today to take over some pass rushing situations since Peezey won't be playing this weekend. Ouch! I hope his wife doesn't come to the game. If you remember, she slammed Pittsburgh after Chad signed with the Seachickens saying the city didn't have any good sushi...or any other good food. Arnold Harrison is starting at OLB and Rian Wallace will be his backup. Good Lord. We're in more trouble than I thought. Well, all I can say is that for years we've allowed other starting LBs to sign elsewhere since one or more of the backups are always capable of replacing the starters. We've been deep at LB for 20 years. I hope the well doesn't run dry this season, especially with Larry Johnson coming to town. The injury list does not look pretty. DeShea Townsend is not starting either but I'm very curious to see how Bryant McFadden handles starting. I think he's your opening day starter next year anyway. This is my annual game near my birthday in the 'burgh. I'll be hanging out with Still A Dog and tailgating as usual with Still A W and the Genco gang. Wow. What a long ride home on Monday if they lose this game. Nah! I think the rust will crumble and Ben will get Hines off early. Take the Steelers and the points .....and that's the first time I've said to bet them this year.

YHTBFKM

Creative, no? My plate has "STLR 5SB" which should need no explanation. The best one I ever heard of was a guy from my hometown who owned a car stereo shop. It read "2FNLOUD". Never verified that, but I heard about it.

Cut Throat Week 6

Well, I'm still in. I thought seriously about taking the Steelers this week as they are now faced with a do-or-die type game. I realize they went to the Bowl in 1995 after being 3-4 but how many times is that going to happen? I think I'll save them for when they are playing better...and playing Cleveland! I'll take the Broncos this week since they are a team that still seems capable of losing to even a weak opponent. That being said - Horseface Shanny doesn't lose to Al Davis.

Album Cover Art - The Lost Art

Check this out. I easily recognized most of these covers. Remember when album art was almost as important as the music? When I was first old enough to go my own way at the malls in the late 70's or even earlier when I stayed with my parents - my favorite thing to do was to go to National Record Mart and just stand there flipping through every album looking at the covers. Think about it - the internet didn't exist! There was no easy way to find out what albums someone had out. I liked KISS at the time so I would stop at every chance and look through the bins to see if there was an album that I didn't have. Two very distinct smells from my childhood are the bubble gum smell from Topps baseball cards and tearing the plastic off of a brand new album. I know this will date me and make me sound like an old fogey at the young age of 37, even though I'm staring down 38, but today's CD covers have no soul. Before you could hop online and view 1,000s of pictures or see your favorite bands on Mtv - your best bet for seeing them if you weren't into magazines was going to the "record store" and flipping through both the albums and the posters. I would literally start with AC/DC and The Allman Brothers and flip through everyone down to ZZ Top. It was a way for me to pass the time at the mall. I was also clued in to the cool bands by my neighbor who was much older than me. I always got turned on to a band by someone older than me. My neighbor Nick got me into KISS and Ted Nugent. I'll never forget the look of horror on Mrs. Moyer's face (my 3rd grade teacher) when on music day I brought in the double-live KISS Alive II when most other kids were still bringing in kiddy music. How can anyone my age forget the sweaty, blood covered image of Gene Simmons on the back of that album? It's from holding those albums in my hands and taking in every detail that I can tell you that Acoin Management ran the group in those days. Information like this would only serve me well on some useless triva gameshow, but I have a ton of it stored in my slanted little mind and it's weird that I kept it and not replaced it. My older cousins Mark and Gary turned me on to Rush and AC/DC respectively. My older out-of-state cousin Jeff brought me Van Halen, Aerosmith, Meat Loaf, Molly Hatchet and Billy Joel. Thank God I had older male cousins! Had I been left to pickup music off of my sister...It would have been Sean Cassidy, The Bay City Rollers and Leif Garrett. The main topic of this site might have been how to tie your belt, shoe and sock colors together instead of football. Anyway - watching that short clip brought back memories of sitting on the couch in my childhood living room holding an album cover in my hands, reading every word on the back or in the liner notes while listening to the music. That's a far cry from downloading the 1 song I like off of a CD now. I used to anticipate going to the mall to look through the KISS albums to see if they put a new one out. I haven't really been excited about an album release since purchasing the second Pearl Jam CD on the day it dropped. That was what, 13 years ago? Man do things change in a hurry. Don't get me wrong, I still listen to current rock music and new bands...I just rarely buy entire CDs. The last CD I purchased was the soundtrack to Braveheart! I would tell you the last CD I purchased from a band.....if I could remember it.

I am guessing Still A Dog could give us 10,000 words on album art as he has the most extensive music collection I've ever seen.

Babs Doesn't Get It

Check this out. She's free to have any opinion she wants. She's free to take out her full page newspaper ads and slam the current administration - it's her money. What she doesn't get about this is that people paid to hear her sing. Does she honestly think everyone in the audience is a Bush-hating liberal? Is she so clueless as to not realize how many Americans have no idea she is such a huge Democrat? Let's say a theater holds 5,000 people. Out of the 5K let's say only 20% are Republicans because most diehard GOP'ers wouldn't pay money to see her based solely on her strong, divisive political views. What huge balls she has to make fun of the president for that long at a concert knowing that maybe 1,000 aren't going to agree with her. Sure, if you pay to go see comedy, the president is going to get ragged on. This is different and her smart audience let her know it. Are you telling me for one second that if she paid $150 to go see Pavoratti, and he stopped the concert in the middle of the performance and brought out a Bill Clinton clone and verbally abused him and called him stupid for a prolonged period of time she wouldn't have been offended? She would have probably taken out a full page ad in the paper and railed against it. You know what I find offensive? That someone who hasn't made a decent - let alone relevant - movie, cd or show in YEARS still thinks people give a shit what she says. I just think she's so clueless she can't for one second comprehend that people may have a different opinion than her's. She's 10 years away from being Liz Taylor.

Wah! Scott Peterson

Boo Hoo, Mr Scott Peterson....Boo Hoo!

Jong: Dear US, Suck It.

Wow. Enlightening. So what's the over/under on the start of WWIII? Is this guy crazy or crazy like a fox?

These People Cave Way Too Easy

This annoys me. They gave up way too early. BTW, like how I threw CAVE into a story title that mentions Rudolph? Huh? Huh? Yeah, let's drop a boulder on "Bumble" when he comes to eat fresh meat in the cave. And they wonder where these kids get the idea to drop rocks off of overpasses. They blame Beavis & Butthead and the bowling ball episode when it actually burst onto the scene in this Rankin & Bass Christmas Classic. There are a few really cool web pages that I've read about this show. One went into great debate about why the little girl doll was on the Island Of Misfit Toys. She didn't have anything wrong with her. Do some Googling on Rankin Bass Rudolph. It's good stuff if you're a Christmas special geek like I am. OOOOOOOOOH good topic for a new Slanted Listmania. Coming Soon. I wonder what number 1 will be? Clue? I'm Too Much!

Whoa, Dude, Like...Can I get a Whopper?

This is putting the buzz on the fuzz. Now shut up and pass me the Doritos. I worked at the BK Lounge for many years in high school and college and I have to say - we never did anything quite like that. I bogarted my fair share of free food though. I wouldn't even want to guess how many chicken tenders were eaten while hot & crispy yet written up on the old and gunky throw-away waste sheet. The worst thing I ever did while employed there was to get thrown out by the head manager (and I was one of her favorites) one night when I showed up not to work but to kick the living crap out of someone who was working that night who had a part in altering some personal property of mine. No, I didn't get to kick the crap out of him, but I made him lie and shake in front of 3 of his friends who knew he did it - by daring him to "man up" and admit he did it and then face the consequences when he got off work. Wow. That was a blast from the past that didn't even cross my mind when I saw the BK story. I just wanted a reason to post a Spicoli picture and then got the mouth out of control. Anyway - Love the character. Hate the actor.

For Big W, This Is Good Stuff - NAFW

Check this clip out....Not Appropriate For Work if you work with a bunch of stiffs that are humorless and don't allow you to use the internet like an adult.

Football Parity Gods Got Our Number

Well, this year is turning out to be pretty interesting. They really seemed poised to me to make a strong run for a title repeat. The defense is pretty much intact and the offense is only missing Bettis. The return game did miss Randel El over the first 3 weeks, but hopefully Willie Reid will put an end to that. Ben knocked a lot of rust off this week, so hopefully he's back on track. The scheduling Gods are just as much to blame as anyone as we've faced some pretty good teams so far without getting the benefit of a cupcake game. However, there is no excuse for losing to someone starting their 5th game at QB in my opinion. The fact that LeBeau couldn't get more pressure on Rivers is either bad game planning or superb pickups by their blitz blocking schemes. I'm not sure which it was at this point. I know Willie Parker will be seeing Jamal Williams in his sleep for a few nights. This game was different than the Bengals game but in some aspects it was the same. It was another game that we seemed to have in hand, and then it just got away. The coverage Townsend supplied on the TD was perfect. It was just a perfect pass from Rivers. My thoughts here are scattered because I'm trying to remember everything that caught my attention - but I wasn't happy with a few things. The trick play early in the game on the punt was atrocious. In a game that you know is going to be a defensive struggle, I don't know how you pass up the opportunity to pin them deep in their own territory. Not only that - the play looked idiotic and sandlot - not like most of their trick plays. On the flea-flicker, I can't believe Ben chose to let that one fly. Holmes was obviously covered, double covered in fact. His only other option there was to throw it too far so if Holmes didn't outrun them while the ball was in the air - it would fall incomplete. Davenport seemed to have some early success but was then yanked after one failed run. The pass rush got to Rivers when they called it early. When it stopped getting to him (or stopped being called) he carved them up which is why they lost this game. We have some real talent in our defensive backfield and to get torched by Eric Parker and whoever the heck the other clown is IS HORRIBLE! I saw Troy overrun several pursuits. Who knows what else I can't remember, I'm just a tad disgusted. I guess the football gods have said - "well, you had your fun last year...now it's someone else's turn." Yeah, you can stomp your feet and complain loudly and not be happy at all that they're 1-3, but just think how many teams have never sniffed a Super Bowl win or even appeared in one and it kind of puts it all in perspective for me. I got to enjoy a Super Bowl win and one the greatest runs through the playoffs off all-time. I don't need to be greedy......but geez, if they're going to miss the playoffs, it would be nice to miss at 10-6 instead of 6-10. Seems like the only shot we have now depends on us sweeping the Ravens and beating the Bengals in Cincinnati. There is little room for error and 3 more losses will eliminate us. Basically we have to finish 10-2 which isn't unheard of, but putting two 5-1 streaks together seems like a longshot right now. I wish since Ben had such a bad offseason and the appendectomy that he could have got his feet wet against the Titans, the Browns or the Niners. That's why repeating is so hard. If Cowher is considering retirement, it will be much easier to do with half the city calling for his job anyway. It could also embolden him to stay. Stay Tuned.

Coke Out For Season

Well, I hate to see anyone injured - but if we are going to lose someone for the season, it isn't terrible that it's Coke. Reid and Holmes will take over punt duties and the replacement in some of the nickel and dime packages CAN'T be worse than Coke. I try not to dislike any player and I want Coke to succeed, but for some reason, I don't see him developing into a player. Hopefully, while he's off, he'll continue to learn the playbook, watch tape and understand the defense better. However, I'm on record right now as saying I'll be surprised if he makes the team next year in camp. You read it here first.

Newest Member of the Family - Casey

Well, the sadness we all felt from losing Lloyd yesterday was made a little easier today with the addition of Casey to our family. We didn't go to the adoption agency with thoughts of getting a kitten that resembles Lloyd, and we initially avoided his cage because of the striking resemblance. Some members of the family even got a little teary-eyed in the store after seeing the little guy! Anyway - we started playing with a solid black female who seemed friendly enough but the top part of her one ear was damaged. It wasn't bad enough to not get her and we actually thought we had our mind made up but I spun around to see my lovely wife playing with the tux kitten. Did it make sense to get a kitten that looks like Lloyd? Well, why not? I have 2 uncles that only ever had beagles. My boy Still A Dog has had a house full of Dalmations ever since I can remember. Another uncle of mine has a thing for Pekinese. Why can't we always have a tuxedo cat? SOLD! Now the only problem was, we were there at 9:30 to pick one out and the adoption agency rep doesn't show up until 10:30. I stood guard by his cage so no other family would assume he was up for grabs. This is the same agency we used to adopt Hershey so we were already approved and didn't need to apply and wait for 3 days while they checked our references and the vet. Right as the rep showed up, another family walked in with their completed paperwork and walked over to the cage and said "there's our kitty". Long story short.....they WANTED this kitten and got their approval yesterday - but never put a hold on him or anything and since we were there at 9:30 and were preapproved - technically we were ahead of them in line....plus there were more tears that worked in our favor when the problem presented itself. We didn't have a problem naming this one as I made another list of Steeler names to select a name from. His original name was Romeo and I thought it was very interesting that I like to name pets after Steelers that I like and this cat had the name of an ex Pat's defensive coordinator and the current Browns head coach. After toying around with Parker and Heath....my daughter selected Casey from the list and I'm fine with that as Mr. Hampton should be a Steeler for quite some time. I really wanted her to pick Merril, but she wasn't going for it. Heath would have been cool since we would have had 2 candy bars, but it doesn't roll very nicely when you yell it. So - Greg Lloyd, Louis Lipps and Casey Hampton have all been used in naming our cats. I still think I'll have a Weimeraner some day named Lambert or Porter!

Back to Lloyd. He was 11 and then some and wasn't liking his new housemate too much to begin with. He recently had a large cyst removed from his side and was just in to get his stitches out on Tuesday and was doing fine. On Thursday night we noticed his breathing was a little labored. His chest was rising and falling noticeably with every breath and his midsection was bulging with each one as well. It freaked us out a little and I guessed wrongly that maybe a hairball was stuck and it hurt his fresh wound to cough it up the proper way. We woke up in the middle of the night and he hadn't moved all night and was making more noise than before. I called off work and took him to the vet first thing in the AM. He heard a lot of fluid in his chest and took 2 x-rays to confirm what he heard. You couldn't even see his heart on the x-rays because of all the fluid. The vet said the best case scenario would be acute asthma. If it wasn't asthma, he didn't think he could do much since there was so much liquid. He was going to send a sample out and call me back within 24 hours. If it was asthma - steroids could have saved him. I patted, scratched and kissed him goodbye and it took me 15 minutes to get home. I didn't have a very good feeling about our situation. When I walked in the door the vet had already called and said he wasn't going to make it. I called right back and he had already passed. As it turns out, the vet is almost certain he had an aneurysm in his chest cavity and he couldn't have been saved. We all had a rough night last night but it was made better by Still A Dog who sent my daughter a wonderful poem called "The Rainbow Bridge". I printed a picture of Lloyd with his name on it and the poem and we used it when we told our daughter Lloyd wasnt coming back home. I think she actually handled it better than we did after the initial alligator tears stopped. I was proud of the way she handled it.

Well, Casey isn't meant to replace Lloyd. We just didn't think Hershey at 6 months old was ready to be by himself. Since Hershey Lipps seemed to torment and tease Lloyd because he knew Lloyd couldn't catch him too easily, I'm actually hoping Casey stands his ground and delivers some torture Hershey's way. Stout lineman versus skinny WR wins every time. I'm still mad the agency told my daughter that the first guy's name was Hershey! You know I offered her $20 to name the cat and she refused it! We compromised on adding Lipps but I really lost out because after calling him Mr. Lipps for 2 weeks it sounded so gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) I started calling him Hershey.

Rest In Peace

Lloyd (1995 - 2006)

It's Called A Life.....Get One

OMG. Some people are just weird. Read This.

Satisfaction

I would have driven the truck through, then started the fire...after putting a bullet in his head, of course.

J-Lo? Try T-Mo, The Original Latina Hottie

Holy smokes. I posted a Slanted Listmania edition a long time ago that enumerated women that raised my temperature circa 1980-1985 when I first woke up to girls. Obviously I forgot one and I'd have to go back to bump somebody else out of the top 10. Who is it? None other than Rita Moreno. I have never in my life considered her a hottie before. When I was really young I remember her being a cast member on The Electric Co. If you don't remember that show, it usually followed Sesame Street and I always remember it being a little smarter than SS. It also contained the corniest version of Spider Man.....EVER.....but I loved it. When I became old enough to be able to sit through and appreciate West Side Story in it's movie version - she played Maria's best friend and I believe she won the Oscar for best supporting actress. However, maybe it was the makeup or the costumes or something but I don't remember her being a siren in that endeavor either. The only other thing I remember her on without imdb'ing her is Oz - the HBO prison drama. She played a nun and was probably in her 50's at that time and that was in the mid 90's. So how did I rediscover her in her prime? The Muppets! I am a muppet freak and since TV sucks I was with my daughter surfing YouTube for classic Muppet sketches. She loves The Swedish Chef and Animal.....a girl after my own heart. Anyway, I saw this clip and it blew me away. It's hilarious. I don't ever remember Animal showing so much character. When she turns around to look at him and he turns away it makes me laugh every time. Also, it's the perfect song for her to sing. She's quite the temptress. I'm guessing this is right around 1978 or so and she's probably 35 or so. I was around 10-12 and probably thought she was old! Stupid Stupid Stupid. Enjoy the clip - it's fantastic.

Update: I went ahead and imdb'd her. The Muppet episode was 1976 and she was born in 1932 making her 44 in the clip. The other funny thing is, I thought she was around 50 when Oz debuted, but it was 1997 so she was 65! She was 29 in West Side Story and she was on The Electric Co. from '71-'77. Reading her TV appearances is like looking thru an old issue of TV guide as she guested on most variety shows and sitcoms. Interesting career and still works all the time. Here's the link to her career.

Cut Throat Week 5

This is where it starts to get interesting. The Colts are favored by about 87 points this weekend against the Titans. While I would love to keep winning with average teams while everyone else uses the cream of the crop....it may be time for me to add a little cream to my mix. I really only love 3 winners this week - Colts, Chicago and Pats. Looking ahead, the Colts and Pats are off next week and then the Colts play the Redskins and Denver and I would never pick them over Washington or Denver in weeks 7 and 8 to stay undefeated in a Cut Throat game. Chicago plays another can't lose game next week and then they are off so I'll probably use them the following week. They have the Niners at home in week 8 and I would love to hold out for that game but I need to get past 5, 6 and 7 first! Since I can't use the Colts in weeks 6, 7 or 8 - it only seems logical to use them now. Cut that meat! Cut that meat!

New Sunday Soap Opera

"But, But, But what if they catch us?" "Don't worry, Love - a love as strong as ours can never be broken." "But if they find out, we're ruined....ruined I say" "They won't...LOOK AT ME.....they won't. I'll make sure of it. Haven't I always protected you in the past?" "Yes, but this time it's different. I can feel Ray looking at me naked in the shower. I can sense his telling nod means only that he too, would like to press his flesh against mine. His eyes, Oh damn his longing eyes. Can you feel them as well?" "Not only can I feel them, I have felt them, on me, heavy like weights....heavy like the weights of one thousand anchors out in the harbor. I too, spend time wondering about the gentle side of Ray, and what could only be if we didn't have to keep up this, this, this ACT ." "Then it is decided....we shall wait for Ray, until the time is right, and we will continue to suffer with only each other......and master." "Yes, oh yes, darling - then it will remain just you and I ...and coach Billick - until Ray is ready to take the next step and finally join us."

Tune in tomorrow to see........

Will the kicker get the tight end?

Who will make a pass at whom?

Can Coach Billick juggle three lovers?

Will Ray shed his rough exterior like he sheds blockers?

Will Jamal Lewis redecorate the lockers?

All, On the next.....Not Young And The Ravens

Notice To Crazy People, Amish

An open letter to crazy people:

The next time you're running late on your milk delivery route or your wife stops sleeping with you or one of the networks cancels your favorite TV show or you remember a slight from your childhood....can you please try to make the retaliation you choose FIT THE CRIME? Unless a 7-year-old Amish girl tied you up and terrorized you - yesterday was not a good example. These poor damn Amish people try to live a simple life and don't bother anyone. I would think that an Amish school house would be one of the safest places on Earth to send a 7-year-old and expect to see them again at the end of the day. I have a 7-year-old. I try really hard to not have those thoughts enter my mind, but when you pay attention to the news...how can't you? At minimum, you would think if a disgruntled Amish man walked into a school he would at least have a muzzle loader giving everyone a running start after he fired the first shot! What small tiny evil thing can make a man point a gun at a child and pull the trigger. Can you imagine for one second what those kids went through? Nobody should have to go through that. It changed the personality of the survivors forever. Ok, this guy seemed to have had a clean record before yesterday, but many don't. That's why when we finally get our hands on someone like this - we can't get all "touchy feely" and think we can rehabilitate them. I'm not interested in rehabilitation for people that commit or are prone to commit crimes against children. In fact, I would back a 2 Strike system against people that harm kids. Once could have too many questions surrounding the alleged crime. However, if you voilently or sexually abuse a kid under a certain age for the second time in your life....I'll have no problem sending you to meet your maker WHOMEVER that would be. That's probably not a popular opinion in today's world, but if we start systematically reducing the world's population of animals...and animals are exactly what they are...the planet will be a better place to live. You can turn the other cheek if you want you, but I want an eye for an eye.

Missile Command Meets Asteroids

Cool! I made it a little over 500 seconds so far.

Slanted #28

Click For Larger Image

Ben Franklin My Ass

Wow! The entire Philadelphia area, people that know Philadelphia well and especially people that know colonial history well collectively groaned tonight watching Monday Night Football as Mike Tirico incorrectly identified the William Penn statue on top of City Hall as Benjamin Franklin. What a moron. Wouldn't you think someone in the booth or someone in the truck knew the difference? Shouldn't somebody have made the correction when they came back from commercial? Seriously, isn't Franklin usually balding with long stringy hair in the back and wearing specs? I can't seem to remember too many pictures of him with thick hair and a hat. Oh well, no respect for Mr. Penn. The idiots in the booth usually don't know what's going on ON the field either. Theisman had another gem about 10 minutes ago. After just saying (and getting questioned by Tony K after he said it) that McNabb never lost control of the team in the eyes of the other players last year - the next thing he said was "in order to reestablish it, he stayed here all off-season." Last time I checked, reestablish meant 'to establish again' meaning he lost it in the first place. Maybe he meant "reaffirm"? Either way he goofed up. I miss Maguire. He liked to mix it up with Joe more. I hope Tony takes that role soon.

Exhibit 1 - Why I Would Never Drum On YouTube

Holy Crap! Ok, I don't think I'm a slouch on drums, but this kid is young and he kicks ass! It would be like watching Neil Peart followed up by Ringo. I bet this kid is recording in the near future.