Maybe People Are Worrying About The Wrong Issues

This article has questionable statistics, but raises a very valid arguement in my opinion. The stats might not be that far off either. I cringe when I hear people compare Iraq to Vietnam. Most sources show 58,000+ US deaths in Vietnam. Iraq is still far under 5,000, less than 10% of deaths in Vietnam. Not that this makes it any more right or wrong in some people's eyes, just look at how other American's are dying before claiming the only reason we should leave Iraq is because of the death count. This article of deaths caused by illegal immigrants is very interesting indeed.

Strange Weather

So it's 6:07 on November 30th. Usually to go out and run at this time of year in the morning I've got on the ski hat, thin gloves, Under Armour Cold Gear pants, a mock turtleneck running shirt and a breathable jacket. Today? It's currently 57 degrees heading to 70. I'm getting ready to leave the house in shorts and a long sleeve running shirt and it's still pitch dark outside. I think Al Gore has a giant furnace hidden somewhere in the northeast and he's trying to drum up dvd sales for his "movie".

I Can No Longer Be Shocked

Remember 10-15 years ago when it was big news if an unwanted baby appeared on a church doorstep or in a hospital waiting room? The local news would go crazy tracking down witnesses and talking to anyone that was even close to the drop off site. A lot of effort was put into finding out who dropped off the baby. As I recall, one was delivered by a girl at a prom who "didn't know she was pregnant". Right. We escalated from there to finding babies still alive in dumpsters. Shocked, we were. Instead of realizing the baby couldn't be cared for and taking it to a safe haven, the mothers were now probably afraid of being "outed" by the media so they started putting babies in dumpsters. Brilliant. Two news stories from this week have left me in such disbelief that I can't even imagine where the unwanted baby stories will go 5 years from now. A dad in Canada was worried about his baby's fever so he tried a cold cloth but that didn't work. He next took the 9-month-old outside but that didn't work either. When all else fails, get creative. He decided to put the 9-month-old in the freezer. His defense? He didn't shut the door. Mom came home and claims the door was shut and reported the dad. When a baby is placed inside a freezer and sustains freezer burn on the back of it's head and back - whether the door was shut or not is not the issue! What the hell is wrong with these people? I would try...i don't know...TYLENOL? A cool bath? How about the emergency room if you are worried and not a resourceful type? Jesus Christ, the FREEZER? Sometimes I put a can of Diet Coke in the freezer if it wasn't already cold to speed up the process. An hour later I think, "Oh Shit! I left a soda in the freezer!". You go grab it and it has little chunks of delightful frozen Coke in it. Can you imagine this guy? He's sitting on the couch 2 hours later thinking...."I know I'm forgetting something.....what is it?.......THE BABY!!!!" Too late....unless of course you have a defrost option on your microwave which is where I'm going next. The case of a dead 3-week-old baby has just been solved. The mom was arrested and the cause of death was......microwave! MICROWAVE! WTF? What kind of microwave did she have? What did the buttons say? Coffee, Popcorn, Cute Little Baby? I think the law should go Old Testament on this bitch if she's found guilty. An eye-for-an-eye. Doesn't fit in the microwave? Oh well, let's just dump some lighter fluid on her and toss a match in her direction. She doesn't deserve to live. I would like to hear a liberal's defense as to why this woman shouldn't be put out of her misery. Better yet, maybe she should be made to work in an infant daycare or the maternity ward in a hospital. The birth father was present along with 3 other kids in the house, but the mom was the one arrested after a 9 month investigation. She was out partying all night and didn't see the kid until morning. It was 3 weeks old! Didn't it have to eat every 2 hours? I'm done ranting....but DAMN....microwaving your own kid? What's next? Dismembering and toasting each piece individually?

It's The Great Outkast, Charlie Brown

This is totally cool. Good job by the creators who beg "please don't sue us" at the end of the credits. If you know the song "Hey Yeah" (or even if you don't) you should enjoy this Smash Up / Mash Up of the popular Outkast song with Charlie Brown's Christmas Special. Too cool. One question: Where the hell is Franklin? Damn, he gets no respect. Freida and Violet are there jamming, Violet is either doing the Vogue or an early Macarena, and there are a set of twins that never had a speaking part - why the hell can't Franklin break it down? Man, I love me some Charlie Brown.

The 4-Chord Song....Cool

For the music fans.

Player Poll Meaningless

This week's issue of Sports Illustrated featured a poll of over 350 current NFL players. The question was - which team in the NFL is the most punishing to play against. 31% said the Steelers. The Ravens were 2nd with 17%. I guess that did us a lot of good, didn't it?

The Jury Is In, Judge - You Suck

Let me go on record as saying I loved "Fast Times At Ridgemont High". It was the precursor to such films, or should I say movies, as "The Breakfast Club", "Sixteen Candles", "Pretty In Pink" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". It was an important movie for more reasons than just launching Sean Penn into stardom. Why am I bringing this up? Because I took my daughter to see "The Santa Clause III, The Escape Clause" this past weekend and it's downright embarrassing how bad Judge Reinhold is in it. At least 12 years ago when he did the first one he played the part well. He was his normal character in that one....a little whiney...spineless...uber-nice touchy, feely, Mr. Sensitive type of guy...you get the picture. In the follow-up he was bad and in this one, I find it hard to believe that he'll ever be in another movie that makes this much money. Of course he can sit around and think he has something to do with it if he wants to, but people are paying money because A. it's a Santa movie and it's almost Christmas and B. Tim Allen is still entertaining to some adults. They didn't even need this character in the movie to make it work - they could have just written him out or something - but he must have pictures on the director or producer....or on Tim Allen himself from partying with them 12 years ago making the original. I'm usually not one to bash a guy's entire career and you can't bash Judge from '81 to '87 as he was in "Stripes" (minor role), "Fast Times", Gremlins, Beverly Hills Cop, Ruthless People and Cop II. I remember him being very good in Cop I and Ruthless People. What the heck happened after that? He has been swimming in mediocrity ever since. Maybe it's time to buy a nice house somewhere and just disappear from Hollywood. I told my wife on the way home that it wouldn't be long before Judge starts showing up on reality shows. When I IMDB'd him to make sure I wasn't missing a few things, I realized just how bad it's been since 1987. With the exception of Cop III which missed big-time and playing the "Close-Talker" on Seinfeld twice, he's been reduced to terrible movies that I've never heard of (and I'm a movie buff) taking over for Charles Grodin in Beethoven's 3rd and 4th. Grodin is no star and even HE turned down the chance to appear in the lame-ass sequels to the sequel. Hey, our C list actor who is still living off of "Midnight Run" doesn't want to make this movie...who can we call now....JUDGE REINHOLD! Again, I hate to rip him since he was cool and did the Clerks cartoon for my biggest movie guy of all time, Kevin Smith - but I would rather him scale back his lifestyle than make a mockery of himself making these absolutely terrible films. I hear his schedule is full though as he's going to play the bad master in Karate Kid V, the new mayor in Jaws V and the new chief in Police Academy 8 (yes 8! there were 6 and then Mission To Moscow...IMDB rules!). Wow, what a perfect segue to talk about Steve Guttenberg....who is lower on the Hollywood totempole than Mr. Reinhold. Maybe his collection of work isn't that bad after all. Wouldn't it be fnny to have an awards show with nothing but career B,C celebrities?

Still A Dog Barks, We Listen

Since The Dog lives in the greater Baltimore area and hears many things concerning the Ravens - I decided to post his email to me this morning about the state of Stiller Nation vs. the Ravens long term outlook. What he says is quite wise in my opinion. Remember last week he said that people were complaining that they had to pay for playoff tickets already instead of being ecstatic.

"I'm approaching it as a good thing.

1. We are totally eliminated from playoff consideration. Why is this good? So we can all stop deluding ourselves that we still have a good team. We most certainly do not.

2. We got a good ole ass-kicking by a divisional rival. Why is that good? So we can wake our asses up and see the work that is ahead of us. Embarrassment is a powerful motivator.

3. Our power run is over. Why is this good? Because our window of real opportunity to win championships was from 2002 - 2005. We should have won in 2004 if we were going to win back to back championships. That was probably our best team of that era. The window is closed now and it's time to rebuild again. Too many key players getting old, retired, hurt, or gone via free agency. A good hard look at personnel is needed and will happen now that this season has been certified a disaster. Had we gone 10-6 and squeaked into the playoffs I doubt the necessary changes would have been considered.

4. Chuck Amato was fired this morning at NC State. Why is this a good thing? Cause it opens up an opportunity for Cowher to retire/resign, move to Raleigh with his family, and begin his life's work as a college football coach. I tell Ravens fans that this was good for us and they shut the bleep up. They don't understand enough football to see that this is a temporary setback. They are on top of the world right now, as they should be. They are blinded by success (as usual). I don't know what it will take for them to see that once Steve McNair is gone they will be right back to where they were last season. Their window is this year and maybe next. Then they will have to get a new QB, MLB, LT and a WR possibly a RB and start building again. Their disappointment has been delayed until January."

I'm sure I'll be revisiting some of those opinions in the very near future since I don't have the playoffs to look forward to. May as well start looking at the roster to see who is where on their contracts and the like.

Holy Poe!

I can't ever remember the team getting their asses handed to them like that before. After thinking about it, I think a lot of the blame for this poor showing has to go on the offensive coaches. After getting pressure in his face all day almost getting killed before halftime, why weren't they able to counter what the Ravens were doing on the defensive front? It sure wasn't on talent alone as the Steelers have one of the better offensive lines in the league with 2 Pro-Bowlers on it. Where were the rollouts? Where were the screens? Where were the 2-step drops? He was getting heavy pressure on consecutive plays. You can't allow the other team to keep compounding their confidence like that. The offensive line's meltdown was every bit as bad as the Colt's was against us in the playoffs last year. Still, the offense was able to enter the red zone 4 times. This seemed like it was the Ravens Super Bowl. I wouldn't be surprised to see Cleveland upset them Thursday night. Playoff hopes are now at 1% since they are not yet mathematically eliminated. Good job, Ravens. They looked like the '94 - '97 Steelers out there today. Big back. Power running. Key 3rd down throws. Lots of sacks. Solid special teams. I expected if we lost to get beat by turnovers. We just got plain beat.

I Like Under Appreciated John Waite

When we first got MTV in our area, which is when it debuted, one of my favorite videos was "Change" by John Waite. I've always liked the song as well. Waite is one of those under appreciated guys in my opinion. I'm sure he has a base following since he's been in The Babys, but after that I can only remember two solo hits "Change" and "Missing You" but I could be forgetting some. He was also a part of the super group Bad English which had a huge hit with "When I see you smile". Anyway, I was browsing through iTunes the other day and came across a gem. There is a cd of 80's music redone acoustically by the original artists. I bought 2 of the singles - John Waite's "Missing You" which is a superb version and The Outfield's "Your Love". I think Waite has a fantastic voice and in the next few weeks I'm going to go over his entire catalogue to see if I can find anything else I like.

Jim Mora Jr. To Be Tested For Drug Abuse

The league has tuned in recently to comments made by Falcons head coach Jim Mora Jr. The coach had to strongly defend his quarterback Mike Vick this week after Mora's father, ex NFL head coach turned commentator Jim Mora Sr. called Vick a "coach killer". Well, he didn't say it - but he agreed with another commentator who did. Here is what Mora Jr was quoted as saying:

"I'm a huge Mike Vick fan. I always have been," the coach said. "I love the guy. He's a great player and I think he's a better person. I don't care what anybody says about Mike. If I was starting a franchise and I could pick one guy all-time, I would pick Mike Vick. That's how I feel about it."

Wow. When the league abuse committee heard this, they rushed over to Mora Jr's house and took him away in cuffs to be tested. Everyone is waiting to see what drug is in his system. I'm guessing crack, but most money seems to be on heroin since it's a hallucinagen. The league said maybe if he didn't say "all-time" they would have let him slide with a warning - but the fact that he felt compelled to disagree so strongly is what caused the apprehension and testing. After he's tested and detoxed - he'll be given a blank pad and pen and asked to rank all-time quarterbacks until he gets to Vick. If he doesn't go through about 4 sheets (front & back) first - he'll be carted off to be evaluated at a mental institution.

This Chick Is In A Pickle

This is crazy. I can't believe this is true. I believe the video is real enough, I just think they paid this chick to do this and she's basically an actress playing a part. If she was really as terrified as she acts, why on earth would she work in a place that serves food? That would be the equivalent of someone that's afriad of heights working in a skyscraper. Stupid. I have a hard time believeing people even watch that show, but they must since it's been on the air as long as I can remember. I work in IT, but I'm terrified of optical mice! I work in a casino, but the site of playing cards makes me wet my pants. I'm a maid, but drier sheets keep me up at night. I'm a hooker, but I pass out if I lay my eyes on a big hairy..........spider. Fooled ya!

Go Denver! Our Playoff Map

If you take into consideration that our only shot at making the playoffs is as the 6th seed, then we have to follow the logic of that scenario with who we root for. We need all of the current division winners to keep winning so the wildcard race doesn't get "muddied" up. The only exception to that rule of course is when we play the Ravens. We also need the highest wildcard team (most likely San Diego or Denver) to continue to win. Why? Because it's amazing how many times current division winners and the top wildcard spot play teams that we need to lose (Jets, Chiefs, Bengals, Jacksonville) in order to gain entry into the playoffs. True, we haven't even won three games in a row yet - but I'm off today and decided to look at the schedules for shits and giggles. Here is how we make it.

We win the remaining 6 games.
The Ravens beat the Bengals and the Chiefs.
The Broncos beat the Bengals and the Chiefs.
The Colts beat the Jaguars and the Bengals.
The Patriots beat the Jaguars.
The Chargers beat the Chiefs.
Jaguars would have to lose 1 more game to (Bills, Dolphins, Chiefs, Titans)
Jets would have to lose 2 games to (Texans, Packers, Bills, Vikings, Dolphins, Raiders)

In the current wildcard race - what would remain would look like this:

Denver: Doesn't even matter what the record is
Steelers: 10-6
Jaguars: 9-7
Chiefs: 9-7 even at 10-6 we have the tiebreak
Bengals: 8-8 heck, let them win another one, 9-7

Not worried about Miami since we have the tiebreaker with them as well. From this mess, you can see that the wildcard teams in front of us don't have it easy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the hardest part of this equation will be us finishing out at 6-0. Anything is possible, but sweeping the Ravens and beating the Bengals will not be easy. Carolina is no slouch either. We're in trouble, but there is at least a chance. My new playoff prediction is now a 7% chance, up from 5%. I have this terrible feeling we will fight back and be 5-0 and all the other teams lose and all we will need to do to make the playoffs is win our last game against the Bengals.....and we'll lose by either a fumble on a punt or a tipped pick. Bah-Humbug!

Fountain of Diet Coke Truth!

So I like Diet Coke, sue me. Not only do I not need the calories, I actually like the way it tastes. I don't think I really need the caffeine, as a 12 oz. can only contains 35-40 mg anyway. Some 6 oz. cups of coffee have 80 mg and that's for a 6 oz. cup made the way the directions state. If you make it slightly stronger and have 2 10 oz. mugs, you're easily over the caffeine intake of 150 mg where most literature states caffeine(ism) symptoms can start. I normally have 2 cans a day so I'm topped out around 70-80 mg of caffeine. Yummy. Since I switched to Diet Coke about 10 years ago, I've noticed that I seem to like the taste better coming from a fountain source like McDonald's or the local convenience store. In fact, even though we buy Diet Coke by the case for the house, I sometimes find myself driving to McDonald's after I drop my daughter off for school to purchase a Diet Coke for way more than it would cost at home to have the same amount. Why? Well, I just found out about a week ago. Aspartame is used as the sweetener in Diet Coke when it's canned or bottled. However, when you get it from a fountain - the box of syrup has small amounts of saccharin mixed in because aspartame has a short shelf life in the syrup. The saccharin changes the taste ever so slightly and I love it. Mmmmm, saccharin. There's so much misinformation out there about diet soda, saccharin and aspartame that it's not funny.While I'll admit some of the chemicals affect some people in an adverse way - in the amounts in diet sodas - they don't hurt the general public. The tests from the 70's on saccharin were so wrong it's not funny. As it turns out, they now think the needles used for the injections to the mice may have caused the cancer. In the same exact type of lab mice used in those tests with the same needles - they developed cancer when injected with water! In 2000 congress repealed the law requiring a warning on products sweetened with saccharin. Also, the amounts used in the tests was about 50 times that of normal daily consumption. And aspartame? It's the most tested product ever by the FDA. Some people with certain medical conditions don't react well to it - but even at ridiculous amounts - there is no conclusive evidence that it's bad for you. Some tests show a correlation, but none of them were controlled - who knows what those people were eating? And the diet soda myth - that it can actually make you gain weight? Again, the test only followed a handful of people and the subjects answered questionnaires. No controlled testing. Nothing. If you weighed 350 pounds and drank diet soda for 5 years and then weighed 360 pounds....the test showed you as a diet soda drinker who gained weight! Don't believe me? Go to Wikiopedia and read all about it. Read the saccharin article. Read the aspartame article. Read the Diet Soda article. That's where these facts came from. Why was I compelled to read about Diet Coke on Wikipedia? Because a room full of engineers at work stuffing their faces with pizzeria pizza, potato chips, chocolate and leaded Coke thinks it amusing that I drink Diet Coke. I think of all things mentioned - the Diet Coke is the least likely to kill you! They felt pressured enough by consumers to make a Splenda version of DC. It uses sucralose which is real sugar minus the calorie chemical - or something like that. I tried it...didn't like the taste. Diet Coke, just for the taste of it......mmmmmm.

Elusive Playoff Hunt of '06

Well, even though the Steelers won on Sunday, they didn't gain much in the playoff hunt because most of the teams in front of them won as well. We need help, and lots of it. The Bolts took over the division lead and now the Broncos are in with the wildcard teams.

First Wildcard Team (Seed 5) Denver 7-3

We need to move into this second spot:
Second Wildcard Team (Seed 6) Jacksonville 6-4

Others ahead of us:
Kansas City 6-4 We could tie them and finish ahead.
NY Jets 5-5
Cincinnati 5-5
Steelers 4-6

We need a few teams to finish up at 3-3 to even have a chance.

Gender Ambiguity

So I'm watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight with my 7-year-old daughter. She's not a huge Peanuts fan as they aren't nearly as popular with young kids today as they were when I was her age in 1975. I wouldn't be surprised if I've read 75-80% of the strips written. I used to get the compilation books out of the school library all the time, even in high school. Anyway, we own the Christmas special and she likes it, but we only watch it around Christmas so she never really had a chance for them to grow on her. The Thanksgiving special features Peppermint Patty in a prominent role. After she called "Chuck" and invited herself over for dinner, my daughter looked at me and very innocently asked "Is that a boy or a girl?". I almost died laughing. Again, since I was in high school, the debate has raged as to which sex Patty prefers. Does she really like Chuck, or does she just say that while she secretly pines for Marcy? We'll never know. I've often wondered if the ambiguity was intended by Charles Schultz. I'm guessing we'll never know. Another thing I picked up on tonight - when the friends came over - Peppermint Patty and Marcy walked in the house and simply said "Hi". When Franklin (the only African American Peanut) walks in, he "slaps" Charlie Brown "five". A bit of a stereotype maybe for the year this came out (1973)?

Peter King Is Off His Rocker

You know what's horrible? When sports pundits have to make shit up just to fill some time. On the advice of Still A. Dog, I've really really really - I mean seriously - cut down on my football pre game watching this year. He finally convinced me of what I knew in my heart 5 years ago but still loved to start watching football at 11:00 AM on Sunday mornings....we know as much as they do. They might have better connections and they might understand the game itself a little more than us...but if you watch or have watched a lot of football games in your lifetime - there isn't much they can say that you don't already know. With every passing year I lose more respect for Mr. King's opinions. I read him in SI and I usually read his "Monday Morning Quarterback" article on SI.com - but more and more - he seems to be writing for the casual fan that might not question alot of what he's been writing about. He recently wrote in a MMQB article that Nick Saban is one of the top 5 coaches in the NFL. He was called out on it the following day by about every loyal reader he has. Instead of owning up to making a mistake - he changed his logic for saying why he said it. Well, I was watching the last 10 minutes of HBO's NFL show today while waiting for Madagascar to start and he was comparing the trade for Eli Manning that the Giants made to the Herschel Walker trade from the Cowboys to the Vikings. He went through the players that the Chargers got, and then had the audacity to compare it to the Herschel Walker trade! Yes, he did! I think it's a tad early to be comparing Eli Manning to Herschel at the end of his career. Don't you think? And why even have that little 2 minute commentary before you can safely evaluate it from all angles? I'll tell you why. He's a Charger lover. Just like he's a Bill Parcells lover. Just like he's a Tom Brady and Bill Belichek lover. He is losing his cred with serious football fans every time he makes a statement like that instead of just telling us about the week in football and getting us good info from his sources. I'm not a Manning family fan, but I'll take his side in this debate for now. If the Giants win a Super Bowl and the Rivers lead Chargers do not - will he take that back? The only thing that can be compared in those trades is that one of the teams in each was able to fill a lot of needs quickly. Hershel was supposed to take an already good team over the top and failed. Eli was brought in to grow into the role of team leader and be there for 10-15 years.

Steelers Stay Somewhat Alive

Wow. Another game right down to the wire. Why is it that I always get the feeling this year that they don't start playing their best ball until they realize they have to? There always seems to be a mad push at the end of games to get back in it or stay ahead. Ben's picks again weren't that worrisome as one was a tip and another hit Hines in the gut and came back out. Did you catch when Steve Tasker claimed after Ward caught a critical 3rd down pass within the last 4 minutes of the game that "you have to trust Ward in that situation because he is the one player that will never...EVER fumble when the game is on the line". Maybe he didn't catch the game when Hines fumbled on the 1 inch line and killed another late game comeback attempt? I don't have a ton of comments on this game. With the exception of the Chiefs game, we're really pushing the envelope on every game. I would LOVE to sit down and watch a spanking some weekend soon where I don't have to sit on the edge of my seat as the game is coming to a close. I'll update the playoff situation tomorrow.

If They Make It, I Will Come

Here is the trailer for the new Rocky movie. I'm hoping it's much better than 3, 4 and 5. I loved Rocky, the original and it holds up well. I just watched it about a year ago for probably the 5th or 6th time. Rocky II was decent as well. What I had a problem with was how Rocky suddenly gained 50 IQ points in 3 and 4, and then much like Algernon - lost them again in 5. I remember as a kid in high school going to see 4 when he fought the Russian (Drago?) played by Dolph Lundgren (I think?). Too long ago and I don't care enough to IMDB it. My friends and I were cheering like we were at the fight. Weird that he's going to play Rocky again and actually box in this movie since he didn't even box in 5. In 5, he had a street fight with Tommy Morrison at the end of the movie. I bet I'll be disappointed, but I like the series enough to at least go see it over the holidays.

Why Is "Boob" A 4-Letter Word?

I was asked this morning via email to review a product that I bought on Overstock.com as it currently has no reviews. I thought "oh, goody" and clicked the link. I bought both my grandmother and her sister a prayer book. They want you to be specific in the review and talk about why the product is good. I started typing and without thinking about language filters I said that my grandmother is old and in a wheelchair which limits what she can do and basically just reads and watches the boob tube. After completing the form I clicked submit and I got a message warning me that my submission contained PORNOGRAPHY and could not be used as entered. I changed "boob tube" to "tube" and clicked submit again and it passed. Since I'm in software QA, things like this crack me up. What if it was a book on breast self-examination? What if I said "breast"? What I can tell you is this....I bought a lot of things on Overstock for Christmas this year - and then next review opportunity I get....I'm going to test the limits of their filter. I should have tried "b00b" with zeros but I didn't. No matter how smart people try to make filters, they can be circumvented with little effort. I would think that a company that sells TVs on their website might want to allow "boob tube" in reviews. It's easy enough to check fo "boob tube" as opposed to just "boob". Boob. What a silly word.

Laugh Out Loud Funny

A link forwarded to me by Still A. Rockin. My favorite part is when he disappears back up into the ceiling and then falls on top of the merchandise. I have a really good friend who works for a company that sells security cameras that respond like this one does. It continues to zoom and focus on faces, making it easier for police to identify criminals in security camera footage. The ladder hits home to me because like an idiot I've fallen off of one twice since living in our new house. The first time I was looking for the sewage pipe running between the cement wall and the finished wall of our basement which are separated by about 6-8 inches. I was weirdly propelled as the ladder fell and my knee went through the drywall. Nice. The second time was on Christmas day. I was standing on top of a 4' step ladder (yes, there is a warning right there that says not to do it) reaching into some rafters built into my garage looking for the "fit kit" to put a Thule storage box on top of my car for a trip back to western PA. Once the box was located, I needed an extra inch or two to grab it. As I recoiled and unleashed to give myself the extra distance - the ladder went down and I fell into an area 2 feet wide between 2 cars on a cement floor. Again, I was propelled and backed into my wife's car slightly denting the area right in front of the driver's door. It made a horrible sound when you opened the door for a few days and then it finally bent in such a way that it stopped screeching. It took this dummy 2 times to respect the power of the ladder!

Bob Saget, My Way (NAFW)

This is a great clip. The Bob Saget most people know was on Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. The man has mad cheddar, let's face it. Those two shows were on forever and will be on forever in reruns. Most people don't realize Saget works "blue" doing standup. Always has. Always will. It's what makes him one of Howard Stern's favorite guests. He's hilarious. I used to think he was straight-laced myself until I heard him on Stern. Here's a taste of Saget on a college campus. If you want more...go to Youtube.com and seach on him. There's plenty of funny stuff out there. He's 51 dating a 23 year old! You go Danny Tanner!

TJ Talks The Talk and Collapses Like A Yugo

This clip is pretty good. It's a hit put on TJ Hoosyermamma yesterday as he came across the middle against San Diego. He gets popped by McCree, and then Dan DierDork goes off on McCree for two solid minutes.....and he's wrong. He calls McCree "Bush League" and implicates he will be heavily fined. I think he owes McCree an apology myself. He claims he hit TJ "way too" early. In fact, he hit him less than 1/2 of a second early at realtime speed. He claims he lead with his helmet. I disagree completely. I'd like to know who was in the booth with the old man because he should have corrected him. While McCree had every chance to light him up with the crown of his helmet, only the side quarter of his helmet touched Hoosh. He without a doubt turned his head to avoid a much harder hit. To me, it looked like he lead with his shoulder all the way, and his head ended up taking maybe 30% of the blow. For Dan to just rant and rant about it doesn't make it any more true. Man, I hated him on MNF and I was hoping he was out of the league. I guess not. I didn't miss him. He's old and boring. Good lineman. Bad announcer. TJ loves to strut his stuff and egg on away crowds and run his mouth. Remember, this is the guy who cleaned his shoes with a Terrible Towel last year in Pittsburgh. People get more jacked up to play you when you do that. He has to know that.

Rudy '08

It's about time. Rudy Guiliani filed papers today to allow himself to raise money for exploration into running for president. That makes me pretty happy. I like checks and balances and since the democrats just gained control of the House and Senate, I'd love to see another Republican president. In fact, I'd love to say "President Guiliani". It has a nice ring to it. Rudy doesn't take any shit and changed Times Square from an embarassment to a major tourist attraction. He cleaned up the streets of New York and did it quickly and efficiently. To run NYC is like running a small country. If you can do that, you can be the president. This might not make Pataki very happy as I think he was exploring the same possibility. Guiliani is easily the most recognizable Republican across the nation not currently working for the White House. Colin Powell would ne the other and from what i've read, he has no political aspirations at this point. Where can I buy my bumper sticker?

Playoff Hunt - 5%

I'll throw them a bone and say they have a 5% chance of getting in. What I'll also say is that if they do somehow manage to get in - they're going to be dangerous - same as last year. They can light up the scoreboard and play lights out defense. If they don't turn the ball over - they can beat anybody. The other thing in our favor is the state of the league. There really aren't any dominating teams right now. The Colts are 9-0 but have a historically bad run defense that can be exploited. They've won a few games in the last seconds. The Ravens are 7-2 but could easily be 4-5. The Bears got spanked by the Dolphins. Anything can happen, just like we got our asses handed to us by Oakland. All I'm saying is that should a miracle happen and we get in, we could easily win it all again. Of course, we could also end up 5-11, I'm just saying......

Here is the Wildcard Race in the AFC

San Diego 7-2 We would lose the tiebreaker. 5 games back.
NY Jets 5-4 2 games back. Not sure about tiebreaker yet.
Jacksonville 5-4 We would lose the tiebreaker. 3 games back.
KC Chiefs 5-4 2 games back. We would win the tiebreaker.
Bungles 4-5 1 game back. Currently losing tiebreaker.

Currently we would have to overtake 4 teams to capture the second Wildcard spot. San Diego is not getting caught by anyone. We're officially 3 games out of the race with 7 remaining. Can we win all 7 while 3 teams go 4-3 and one goes 5-2? I doubt it, but at least this puts it in perspective.

...And "Skin" is in Her Last Name

A funny clip of Jane Skinner from CNN. The guy on remote after her segment makes me laugh SO hard when he starts giggling! And another thing, I get 99% of my news from the web, but I just may have to start watching Jane. Zowie!

Steelers Still Playing Tough

I'm glad Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were announcing the game today. They did a great job of not hammering the Steelers about their record. Unlike some in the national media, they had a great grasp of what is ailing the Steelers - turnovers - not the ability to move the ball or stop people from moving the ball. They also shed light on another stat I read this week that the said the Steelers were one of only 4 teams in the NFL to be among the top 10 in both total offense and total defense. I'm glad they won the game and beat a 6-2 team, but there are still many things they need to do before returning to last year's level of play. They need to put more pressure on the opposing QB. They need to open some holes in the middle of the line so Willie Parker isn't forced to bounce outside on every up-the-gut run. And, they need to defend against the pass better in 3rd and long situations. If the rush can't get there, maybe they need to suck it up and not rush as many and drop some more people into coverage. Ike Taylor is still getting beat one-on-one. I'm not sure if we'll ever be able to just throw him out there on the best receiver and forget about him. Why is it that he can cover Chad Johnson but give up touchdowns to lesser wideouts? Is it a concentration problem? Gets up for big receivers? I don't think so since Javon Walker torched him last week. Another question, sure Mike McKenzie had a good angle on Fast Willie to make the first tackle after 70 yards, but should he be getting caught from behind on the second 76 yard run? Seems weird when you're nickname is "Fast Willie" and you get caught twice on 70+ yard runs. Maybe that's a conditioning issue? I've give him a pass - it was a great day for him - but I'd like an 80 yard TD - not a 76 yard run and a TD a few plays later. I have a feeling come late December that we'll be 2 games out of the playoffs thinking back and wondering which was worse...the Bengals loss after it was in hand...the Atlanta loss with 5 turnovers or the Denver loss with 6. There is way too much talent on this team to be 3-6. We're also getting no help from the teams playing the Ravens. They've won as many close games as we've lost.

Groovy Brady Bunch Clip

This clip is fantastic. I'ts from the 90's during an MTV awards show. They used to have the cast of a show or a troupe of apes or something act out parts from the nominees for movie of the year. The cast of The Brady Bunch did them all this year. They're all funny, but this one is great. It's the Col. Jessup scene from A Few Good Men. In my mind, it's one of the best movie scenes of all time. They do a good job of recreating it.

Funny If You're a Raiders Fan

YouTube is so awesome. I like it more than TV these days! Watch This. For you youngins...this is Mandy by Barry Manilow. Barry Who? You don't need to know.

Mad Editing Skills On Display

Check It Out! More from the same guy. He's so cool I can't stand it!

And The Cradle....Gets Robbed.....

I hear the Van Halen song in the background. Take a look at this. Another teacher's aide (age 35) with 10 counts of whoopy with a 15 year old. I'll ask again - Where were these hotties when I was 15? Dang!

Very Creative Animation

This is way cool.

National Pundits Are Wrong.....Again

I just got done reading an article by some idiot pundit about the state of the Steeler Nation. He blames their record on Cowher's uncertain future with the team. Let me tell you something, Steeler fans know this team better than any national pundit. That's crazy talk. Are the Steelers overmatched? No. Are they getting physically dominated? No. Are they moving the ball and converting 3rd downs? Yes. Most people don't realize that they are statistically better in total offense and defense than they were last year at this point. Are they being outcoached? I don't think so. What they are doing is giving the ball away at an alarming rate - and not getting blown out while doing it. Denver is supposed to have a great defense. We gave it away 6 times and were still in the game up until the last 3 minutes. We went to overtime with Atlanta and had 5 turnovers. Can someone please explain to me how Hines Ward fumbling on the goal line has anything to do with whether Cowher will be back next year? How can you equate the five or more Ben Roethlisberger tipped ball picks with the coach's future? Santonio Holmes dropping kicks and punts is soley responsible in my opinion for two of the losses. Again, is the coach's future on his mind? He's a rookie who could care less who will be coaching next year. The only thing separating this 2-6 team from 6-2 is turnovers. Plain and simple. Like "The Dog" said in a recent comment - watching the games now turns into "what can they do to lose this one?". Fumbles and picks. Not even bad fumbles and picks. Helmets are hitting the ball in the best places possible. Ben throws 4 picks but only 1 is a terrible decision. Everything that went right last year is now going wrong. Good bounces are bad bounces. I did not want to pay Randle El crazy money to stay because he wasn't that important on offense. I don't even think we miss his returns as Holmes is fine when he catches the ball cleanly. What we miss is not having to hold out breath every time an opposing kicker or punter comes into the game. When the kick returner is thinking "Please God don't let me fumble" we've already lost. The record has nothing to do with Coach Cowher's future. The record has nothing to do with Ben's off season. The record has even less to do with Bettis retiring. The record boils down to turnovers. If they stop turning the ball over, they stop losing. Simple as that. I don't know why that's not as plain as the chin on Cowher's face to anyone who writes about football.

Not Weezer, Geezer

Wow. Genesis announced today via webcast that they are touring next year. After fifteen years of not playing together. Well, they should be tight as a band (inject sarcasm here). What seems odd to me about this story is that twice during the webcast, Phil Collins verbalized that they weren't doing it for the money. Did anyone accuse them of that? Does Phil protest too much? Look, I know Phil made some mad cheddar from singing all those Disney cartoon songs (Tarzan, Brother Bear) but I haven't heard much from Tony Banks or Mike Rutherford lately. They were all good musicians though so I wouldn't be surprised if they were producing or scoring movies or something. Maybe they were helping Eddie Van Halen score porn? Maybe Phil is doing it for them to grab some coin. My point is this: if I want to hear Genesis, I'll go put on The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, Abacab or something earlier than those and listen to them. If I want to pay $75 to go hear old geezers walk through a boring set of latter day shit - I'll go see the Rolling Stones on their last tour version XII. I remember back in the early 90's I was glad that Fleetwood Mac was doing a reunion concert on VH1. I had recently read Mic's autobiography and I was in a perfect place to enjoy the concert. It sucked. I watched interview after interview of all of them saying how they were playing better than ever and how it all seemed new again.....well, they were bad and it will never be new again. When bands don't put out decent new material that sells even a little bit - they need to seriously consider not embarassing themselves on tour. I liked Genesis back to the Peter Gabriel days and even right after he left. I didn't like the Genesis that changed their musical soul to get played on the radio. It's almost like two different bands. There will be a ton of old Genesis fans that will get excited and buy tickets......that will be cursing them the day after for playing "That's All", "Invisible Touch" and "Throwing It All Away". No thanks, Phil & The Boys....you're selling - I'm not buying.

Voting Thoughts

Voting is such a joke. Forgetting that you don't need ID to vote, I had mine in my hand this morning when I went to sign in. I was told I didn't need it. Curious, I asked "what if I'm not who I say I am?". I was told they have my signature and can check it. The kid is like 18! What if a proactive group determined a group of people that aren't voting and "bought" their votes by sending in cronies to vote for them. Their age, race....can be different! All they have is a signature to check. For God's sake, I need photo ID to buy Claritin-D at CVS! Hrumph. Coming from a QA point of view - the process has holes in it. Anyway - I guess Lynn Swann conceded my district or didn't have good help. Rendell had a sign every 10 feet from the parking lot to the entrance of the building and someone greeting me. I saw exactly 2 Swann signs,making the comparison about 30-2. Strange. While PA usually goes democratic - the few counties surrounding where I live sometimes go GOP. Maybe they had to concentrate all of their attention on only the very closest districts?

Steelers Hand Denver Win

I am speechless. I have no answers. Another 6 turnovers. Four were within the 10 yard line. Denver's 10 yard line. It's crazy. Santonio Holmes again killed them with fumbles on kicks. Ced let one go. Hines' fumble happened about a foot short of the goal line. Had he scored, the way they were moving the ball I think they could have used their 3 timeouts and got the ball back with time to kick a field goal. Ben had 3 picks, but only 1 bad one. One was better than a punt and one was after the game was in-hand. The one bad pick happened....in the red zone, of course. Ben was under pressure and threw to his right. Cedric Wilson was out there and was probably supposed to break off the route as a hot read. He didn't. The ball fell right into Chump Bailey's hands. It's almost comical now to see how they can beat themselves. Denver is supposed to have a great defense and Gardocki barely had to punt. We either scored or gave the ball away. This is the same thing that happened to the Patriots the year after they won their first Super Bowl. They failed to make the playoffs the following year. However, I don't think they lost 10 games! I can't wait to see how the fans react next week when the Saints come to town. You can't hang this one on Ben. At first I wanted to blame Ike Taylor, but after getting schooled on the first 2 TDs, Dick LeBeau still had him out there with no help on the 3rd TD. Clearly, Ike isn't anything close to a shutdown corner yet. Not even close. They better work on that fade defense this week or they're going to see that the rest of the year. It's not like Javon Walker is 7' tall. He boxed Ike out perfectly on every fade - even the one that was incomplete. Ike's body language also said he wasn't following the cornerback's rule of having a short memory. He looked more beaten than Clay Aiken's ass after a Backstreet Boy's backstage party. Oh Well. On to next week.

Meet Your Maker, You Crazy F'er

Superb. Now, as long as the judge doesn't cave to the appeal, the planet will have one less crazy F'er to deal with. I can't wait to see which celebrities will line up to spare his life. Richard Gere? Bradjolina? Jimmy Carter? I'd like him dead by Christmas. Can't happen soon enough for me. Enjoy burning in hell for eternity.

Claiming My Blog

In Technorati.....a website to help people find blogs that may interest them. I have to post their code here to establish a link to prove I am the owner.

Technorati Profile

Dear Hallmark, Your Marketing Sucks

So - I'm watching the tube last night and a commercial comes on about people being stuck in an airport. If you know me at all, you know airports and business traveling are my biggest pet peeves. There is nothing worse than just sitting there, waiting, totally in their control. Your blood pressure rises like an express elevator to the penthouse as the "customer service" representative keeps informing you every fifteen minutes that you should be boarding very shortly. I'm in QA - "very shortly" to me IS fifteen minutes. Apparently if you work for an airline, "very shortly" can fall anywhere between "oh, there's the plane now" and "we just started Roots on the overhead monitors, we'll board as soon as the slaves are free". Getting back to the Hallmark spot - just as everyone is getting really pissy about waiting, a woman pulls this ugly, tacky Christmas decoration out of her bag and turns it on....yes ladies and gentlemen..turns it on (it dances and sings). Well, everyone who is within earshot just stands up and comes right over to see what all the commotion is about. They stare in awe as the penguins flap their wings and the snowman bounces along to the less-than-midi tune. As the service rep calls folks to board over the PA system, the crowd joyfully ignores him as they are transfixed by the music playing holiday scene (and yes, I threw in "holiday scene" one time to appease the ultra liberal folks out there...may baby Jesus save you this Christmas). Maybe they are transfixed by the obvious lack of scaling on this project. For Christ's sake, the tree is only twice as tall as the penguins and barely taller than the snowman...which begs the question....is the tree really tiny - or - are these...GIANT PENGUINS? Now you begin to understand why everyone is staring at this thing like college students after eating a few brownies. I just can't understand why some of these companies elect to keep their old fashioned marketing concepts. First of all, this thing costs $15 IF you buy 3 cards, $25 if you buy it without buying 3 cards. Good luck selling it without the cards. I'll stay away from the mall this weekend to avoid the crush of people running to the Hallmark store like Rosie O'Donnel running to a free buffet. Second, had I been in charge of trying to sell this piece of crap, my idea would have been very simple to capture on film. My daughter loved these items when she was younger. They should have went for the cute factor. Mom, dad, older kids, grandparents are all in the kitchen talking over each other trying to align their busy schedules for the week of Christmas. Enter a 3-year-old who tries to get some attention but everyone is too hyper-busy discussing plans. Kid walks over to the ugly-ass item, presses the on button and claps, dances and giggles in pure enjoyment. One-by-one the busy family notices the kid who is lost in the enjoyment of either the teeny tiny Christmas tree or the enormous penguins and it ends with the entire family silently watching the child and smiling warmly at each other. Cause if I was waiting for my flight and that woman took this thing out and turned it on, I guarantee you the snowman and at least one of the giant penguins would have been ripped off the snowy cotton base before I could have been restrained by security.

Back With Little Or No Demand

I haven't done a celebrity "cock replace" in a while. Madonna is all over the news these days, so let's pick on her and husband Guy Ritchie. I could easily do all of Madonna's movies since there aren't that many, but there aren't even that many notable ones in the short list.

Cock Quest
Desperately Seeking Cock - My Favorite
Who's That Cock?
A Cock Of Their Own
Cock Of Evidence
Dick Cock

And I had to throw in this Guy Ritchie gem:

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Cocks - HA!

Troops Respond To Kerry

Brilliant!

R.I.P.

Sad or Glad? I like the Northeast's idea of Geese better anyway. My boy Still A Oregon used to have a Steeler uniform for his goose. Cool.

Kerry Is The Joke

John Kerry is so anti-military he just made a complete sector of voters angry with him. In a speech to college students, he said - and i'm paraphrasing - "if you don't study and succeed in educating yourself, you'll end up in Iraq". Nice. So, he's basically calling our military stupid and saying it is a last resort if you can't cut it mentally in college. Wow. I bet the soldiers in Iraq appreciated hearing that. Not only are republicans calling for an apology, some democrats currently running for office have cancelled appearances with him. See, what happened here is classic truth telling. If you let someone yap long enough, their true feelings will come out. This is how he really feels about today's military. I'm not even sure I buy into the arguement of "who knows better about war than someone who served in one?". There are people that work at companies for 20 years yet could not even begin to run the same company...maybe not even manage a small portion of it. That's why I hate that logic. Donald Trump is a real estate tycoon. However, I guarantee you that he can run the IT company I work for better than anyone else that's been at the same company for 10-15 years. Hands down. Kerry tried to play this off as a joke. Sadly, he's the only joke surrounding this story.