I'm not sure America's whitest black man should be doing NFL games for the NFL Network. Bryant Gumbel is good at some things. His intelligent and thoughtful voice is best left sometimes to what I call "quasi-news". He is good on his HBO show about peripheral sports stories and he was OK I guess on the national morning show he did for so many years. That's what he does. When I think of him as an announcer, I think the best job for him is the fluff pieces they do on the athletes for the Olympics. That's vastly different from calling a football game. Two examples of this stuck out like a sore thumb to me last night. The first was when he was telling the story of how the Browns' QB's wife got initiated so to speak into the spouse's club last week when he was called to duty in the middle of the game due to Charlie Frye getting hurt. Gumbel said something that made me cringe and he not only said it once, he said it twice! He started this gem off by saying "I heard a cute story.......". Collinsworth broke in to say something about the action on the field and then Bryant started again "I heard a cute story....". Listen, all over America there are guys...big guys....big manly man guys.....sitting in recliners eating potato chips and drinking bad beer that are waiting to hear something intelligent about what the offense is trying to do to the defense and what the defense is doing to try to stop it. We don't want to hear a Bryant Gumbel "cute" story about the QB's wife up in the stands. If you do have to tell it, please don't start it off in that whiny voice like you're talking to three old ladies over tea. Bryant is a poser in this regard and he does it all the time on his HBO show. When he wants to ask a question and add emphasis, he'll take off his glasses and put one of the arms in his mouth or something. I think he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. He crosses his arms....furrows his brow. He's almost like a Ron Burgandy caricature sometimes. The second thing he said that made me laugh was his use of the word "attitudinally". Remember the big guy in the chair drinking beer? He doesn't like his football announcers asking single worded questions while overemphasizing the raising of their voice pitch at the end of the word to that of a 12-year-old boy that just got hit in the nuts while playing dodge ball. That's why John Madden is still on TV and not Dennis Miller. He asked the question in reference to Bill Cowher's mindset. "Attitudinally?". Wow. What a tool.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Gumbel Doesn't Do It For Me
I'm not sure America's whitest black man should be doing NFL games for the NFL Network. Bryant Gumbel is good at some things. His intelligent and thoughtful voice is best left sometimes to what I call "quasi-news". He is good on his HBO show about peripheral sports stories and he was OK I guess on the national morning show he did for so many years. That's what he does. When I think of him as an announcer, I think the best job for him is the fluff pieces they do on the athletes for the Olympics. That's vastly different from calling a football game. Two examples of this stuck out like a sore thumb to me last night. The first was when he was telling the story of how the Browns' QB's wife got initiated so to speak into the spouse's club last week when he was called to duty in the middle of the game due to Charlie Frye getting hurt. Gumbel said something that made me cringe and he not only said it once, he said it twice! He started this gem off by saying "I heard a cute story.......". Collinsworth broke in to say something about the action on the field and then Bryant started again "I heard a cute story....". Listen, all over America there are guys...big guys....big manly man guys.....sitting in recliners eating potato chips and drinking bad beer that are waiting to hear something intelligent about what the offense is trying to do to the defense and what the defense is doing to try to stop it. We don't want to hear a Bryant Gumbel "cute" story about the QB's wife up in the stands. If you do have to tell it, please don't start it off in that whiny voice like you're talking to three old ladies over tea. Bryant is a poser in this regard and he does it all the time on his HBO show. When he wants to ask a question and add emphasis, he'll take off his glasses and put one of the arms in his mouth or something. I think he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. He crosses his arms....furrows his brow. He's almost like a Ron Burgandy caricature sometimes. The second thing he said that made me laugh was his use of the word "attitudinally". Remember the big guy in the chair drinking beer? He doesn't like his football announcers asking single worded questions while overemphasizing the raising of their voice pitch at the end of the word to that of a 12-year-old boy that just got hit in the nuts while playing dodge ball. That's why John Madden is still on TV and not Dennis Miller. He asked the question in reference to Bill Cowher's mindset. "Attitudinally?". Wow. What a tool.
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5 comments:
This is too funny. We were thinking the same thing through the whole game last night. I was just getting ready to send you a msg titled "why I hate watching football games when they aren't on one of the big 4 networks or ESPN..." He had very little of value to contribute, the stats don't roll off his tongue comfortably like they should, and you're right, I just keep picturing him in a big easy chair on the Today show. Hated it.
Oh yeah, and did they airbrush this photo of him? He looks WAY too thin...
his show has been on HBO for 10 years now. wouldn't be surprised if the photo is that old as well.
and the big networks and HBO still have issues. there are only a handful of people that do games well in my opinion. i like troy aikman and joe buck as a team. i used to like al maquire. i like phil simms a little. used to like boomer esiason. most of them suck. since the stillers arent in the thick of things this year, we're getting the bottom of the barrel on sundays unless they play a good opponent. last week we had jesse "the bachelor" palmer for god's sake. i could do better.
I don't like Chris Collingsworth. I think he is an "egotistical hot shot" that gets by on good looks and smooth talking. And I apologize to the big guy sitting in the chair drinking "bad beer." hmmm..wait a minute. There are no bad beers!
I'm glad Bumble and Collinsworthless are doing the NFL Network broadcasts.
Maybe the NFL will realize almost nobody gives a rats ass about the games on their little monopoly and the people who do are either treated to shitass broadcasting or they can't watch the games in their area anyway.
Then maybe we, the paying fans, can get out from under the tyranny and greed that the NFL has bestowed upon us.
The more I watch NFL football on TV the more I think of the Golden Goose laying dead.
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