McNabb Too Fragile To Handle Garcia?

The Eagles gave an offer to A.J. Feeley meaning Garcia will probably be let go. Why? I'll tell you why. The Godfather knows his "real" son's fragile state of mind and rather than hear the fans chanting this fall for Garcia if the Birds stumble out of the gate......it's easier to let him go now in the off-season. If I was an Eagles season ticket holder (EEEEEEW! even saying that was weird) , I would vomit (he he) on my invoice and mail it back to Mr. Lurid. Poor Donovan, he can't handle the pressure. In a perfect world he wouldn't be ready for the season to start and Feeley would go 3-0. Deja who?

Nobody Told Al Gore He Can't Eat Cake

This gives me the giggles.

Al Gore's mansion uses more than 10 times the amount of energy that the typical home in his area uses. He has natural gas lighting up his driveway and a heated pool. Sounds to me like Mr. Environment likes to talk the talk, but not walk the walk. Reminds me of an instance when I saw Robert F Kennedy Jr. on Hannity & Colmes talking about gas prices and how we needed to conserve gas and SUVs are bad. Hannity submarined him by bringing up the fact that the politician made the trip in a private jet instead of flying commercial!!!! Here is a must read about Gore and private jet usage. It would be kind of like me telling you to not watch porn on the internet!

Poor Kurt Cobain...Poor, Poor Kurt

This is disturbing to say the least. Is that Al Gore singing? I mean really....WTF? I'm guessing that whatever type of person pays to hear the British Ukulele Orchestra perform has NO IDEA who Kurt Cobain even was. Goodness.

Tim Hardagay - Who Cares?

Howard Stern was talking again this morning about Tim Hardaway's problems over the past week. For those that live in a cave, Hardaway was asked last week (after former NBA player John Amaechi came out as being gay) how he would have dealt with a gay teammate. Hardaway went off and said that he is a homophobe who hates gay people. I heard the entire clip again this morning and he says some other stuff, but the meat of the problem was that he hates gays. So what? Who freakin' cares? The NBA apparently. They said that Hardaway could no longer participate in NBA events or represent the NBA. I am not homophobic. In fact, I think there is nothing more beautiful than two lipstick lesbians being together....although I bet Timmy doesn't have an issue with that. But, since I am on record as not being homophobic, does that mean I can't support Hardaway's right to his opinion? I heard the apology today and all he's sorry for is that he said it while being interviewed. He didn't all of a sudden change his mind. It's not like he's going out with Elton John and Andy Dick this weekend to tear up the town. The man said he doesn't like gay people, he didn't say he wants to kill the president! I'm of French descent and embarrassed to admit it. Do you know how many people hate the French? I hate the French! Does it bother me when people say that? No! George W Bush got elected with the help of the religious right. I voted for W twice, but I am in no way, shape or form part of the religious right. I'm more of the religious.....riiiiiiiiight. But the really really religious right thinks the same was as Tim Hardaway. Get Billy Graham or Oral Roberts on tv to talk about homosexuals and see if they don't "swing" the same way as Tim. A lot of Christians think homosexuality is plain wrong and they quote the Bible to prove it. So think about this - ministers can preach that it's wrong and a sin, but an NBA player can't say it's not right. True, there is a small difference between saying it's not right and declaring your hatred for the entire group - but from hearing the clips - it's clear to me he was just saying that he hates the basic idea of being gay. I'm not going to crucify the man for saying what he truly believes. I find it refreshing that someone speaking into a mic actually said what they felt instead of listening to D-Wade stumble through his politically correct answer. You know in the locker room that these guys are talking smack on the gay community, probably just to prove their "manhood". It's no big deal anymore that a pro athlete is gay. Like I said, who cares? It's 2007, not 1957. I think the media created this by sticking a mic into everyone's face to ask them how they feel about it, just waiting - praying - for one Tim Hardaway type answer. They got one. Do I want everyone to be tolerant of everyone? Not sure. I'm not exactly thrilled with Muslim extremists right now. Am I allowed to say I hate all Muslim extremists? Yes, because I'm a nobody. What if one of the Oscar winners from Sunday night got to the mic and declared that they hate all Muslim extremists? A tabloid bonanza would have occurred! I could care less if Tim Hardaway hates gays, Jews, Baptists, the crippled, the mentally challenged, cab drivers, Jamaicans..... Aren't we allowed to do and say whatever we want as long as we don't infringe upon our neighbors? We don't all have to hold hands and sing Michael Rowed The Boat Ashore. It's never gonna happen. What's even funnier is that some people probably read that quote and thought "man, I hate professional athletes!".

Slanted #37

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Kordell Stewart vs. Joes

I've become a fan recently of Pro's Vs. Joe's on Spike TV. It pits retired athletes against common Joe's who think they can compete with the big boys. While watching a rerun this week, I caught Kordell Stewart's appearance. The Joes had to try to stop Kordell from making a throw into 1 of 4 targets. Kordell couldn't throw the pass until the ref's second whistle and it put on display his ability to avoid being sacked. Also, without having to read a defense.....it showed he really did have a decent arm as he continously hit the targets while moving in the pocked. True, the targets were stationary, but he did a decent enough job. He was even funny in taunting the Joe's by doing Ray Lewis' dance, Deion Sanders' dance and taking a nap on the ball (was that TO or Chad?). The thing that really sparked my interest was a commercial for this Thursday's new episode where Slash is back for another round. He gets into a fight with a contestant and it looks like it's going to come to blows. I'm wondering what was said to aggrevate him that much? I'm betting it's a gay reference and I can't wait to see the episode. The taunting almost goes too far. Some idiot threw a basketball at Tim Hardaway after he got his ass handed to him in a game of 1-on-1. Claude Lemieux took care of him in the next round by hitting him in the face with a hockey stick. With all the garbage that's on TV, PVJ is quickly becoming one of my favorites.

Judge Judy For President

Keeping it real as usual, Judge Judy kicks ass against this piece of trash. I use Ebay all the time so I'm glad this is making it around the web.

Don't Let The Kids Alone With Uncle Ezekiel

So yesterday I emailed around to my friends and family the website familywatchdog.us . It's a superb website that allows you to key in any address and see maps that have color coded "push pins" where child predators live. If they have a work address for the criminal, they also put a pin in where they work. They even color code the offense, give alias information and crime information if available. I can't say enough good things about it since I agree with Bill O'Reilly 100% that child predators are evil and don't deserve a shred of leniency or privacy. In fact, if I was in charge for a day - I'd send them all to Texas to be executed. Anyway, not seeing even the slightest chance of finding humor in the website, I filed it away to sign up later for email alerts. This morning I got an email from my cousin Still A. Hater who has almost the same exact sense of humor as myself. It would be safe to say that we basically grew up together. While most people were checking out their own neighborhoods to see where evil lurks, he was putting in zip codes of Amish country! Damn! I was so pissed off I didn't think of that first! He beat me at my own game. I guess the Amish are on his mind a little more than mine because he lives closer to that general population and drives through it.....but leave it to him to find some humor in this sick world of sexual child abuse. This old coot probably plays Santa Clause at the local mall (Ye Ole Foreign Crap) in December and has little kids sitting in his lap. Man, that's funny. Maybe we should have a contest to find the strangest looking person on the website. I'm not posting this dude's name. He might mount a horse and come hunt me down.

I'll Have The Fresh Sushi....Half Portion

Check this out! Very impressive technique. You have to wait till the end for the payoff shot. I've eaten sushi 1,000 times but never right out of the tank and I had no idea this technique was even possible. "Hey Bob, you going to the party at the cave tonight?" "Not sure, I'm half inclined to go."

The Pipe Maker Burns Out Welcome

Thank God. ESPN will not be extending Michael Irvin's contract this season. He was working on a 1 year deal which was a brilliant move on ESPN's part. Irvin has been with the program NFL Countdown since 2003 when he took over for another hyper analyst - Sterling Sharpe. These guys think whomever talks the loudest is the most correct. If they continue to fill that seat with arrogant idiots, Sean Salisbury will be in for interviews shortly. Irvin was always in trouble during his playing days and has had several missteps since being on ESPN - most recently saying Tony Romo's great great great grandmother must have visited the hood to "get some" or went down to the barn to see a slave. That's how Irvin explained Romo's speed for a white guy. Even though I watch less and less pregame shouting every year - it will be easier now to stomach Countdown without Irvin. I don't want Marty. I don't want "The Tuna". Emmit Smith and Marshall Faulk are both terrible on NFL Network. I'm not sure who they will chase but they can never settle on seats 3 and 4. Mort, Jaws and Steve Young still report but no longer sit. Ditka can't complete a full sentence because his mind races ahead of his mouth. Is it that hard to find somebody to complement Fred Flintstone and Tom Jackson?

Squirrel Lobby Too Powerful

I am a self-confessed connoisseur of kids movies. Why? I like to say that I'm a big kid at heart. My wife, however, would say that I've yet to mature. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I've seen most animated movies aimed at kids since....well, since I was born. Call me an alarmist, but in the past 5 years or so, I've noticed that squirrels are getting more and more screen time and better characters. While Disney has yet to jump on the bandwagon and feature a squirrel in a prominent role - they may have fueled the recent trend by putting Bucky in The Emperor's new Groove. He helps Kronk find Kuzco and appears more in the sequel Kronk's New Groove. There is nothing better than hearing John Walburton as Kronk talk to Bucky with his deadpan "squeak.....squeak......squeakity". I do it all the time. Anyway, I digress....what was a squirrel doing there amongst the panthers anyway? I'll tell you what - a squirrel lobby lead by onetime squirrel strong man "Rocky" is taking over Hollywood. Tired of the endless dog, lion and fish movies - Rocky started a foundation to feature previously discriminated against animals in more attractive roles. With the help of Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton Rocky formed the Mammal Coalition and to advance squirrels specifically he started the NAAST (National Association for the Advancement of Squirrel Types). The Mammal Coalition was hugely responsible for developing Ice Age with a Mammoth and Sabre Tooth Tiger in the leads. The also brought Crush the turtle and The Goat to stardom in Nemo and Hoodwinked respectively. The NAAST, with their powerful slogan "A Nut is a Terrible Thing to Waste", scored major victories by placing Skrat in Ice Age and Ice Age II (he has declined offers for Ice Age III for fear of being type cast in future endeavors), Bucky in the Groove series, Hammy in Over the Hedge, Twitchy in Hoodwinked and most recently McSquizzy in Open Season. There were even fights in Hollywood over the resemblance of Hammy and Twitchy and how they both freak on caffeine in their individual films. Disney is said to be secretly working on a new picture featuring squirrels that will not borrow from any other film ever made. The Slant hacked into their system and got a copy of the new script. Here is the short version: A mother and father squirrel have 4 baby squirrels. Shortly after birth they want to visit their parents - the new grandparents. Along the way a wolf jumps out of nowhere and in a bloody scuffle devours the mother, father and two of the children. Luckily, the two youngest , Sammy and Itchy escape and have to fend for themselves. Along the way they get stuck in an ice making machine and get turned into squirrelcicles, dodge various hunters, escape a prolific exterminator and befriend a large intellectually challenged moose. Did I mention there is a dream sequence where they go back to Ancient Egypt? It's like no other movie you've ever seen..containing a squirrel....released since February of 2007. Could somebody please have one original idea for movie? Please? We're begging you! We did a little research to find the first movie squirrel and we have it posted here. The only thing missing is the clickity sound of the projector, the smell of hot dust and the voice of Troy McClure.

No Tuna Nets Here

I'm addicted. It all starts when my daughter is bored. We hop online and go to one of several flash game sites. A few favorites are MySpace, KillSomeTime and CoffeeBreakArcade. We sift and sort trying a few games here and there and we usually end up finding something we both like and playing it for hours over the next few weeks until like a crack addict we no longer get the same high from playing it and move on to a harder drug. Some past addictions for us were Cookie Time Delivery and Ant Farm. I had ant farm down to science. I've now found a game that I don't get bored with if you just play a few times a day. It's called Dolphin Olympics and can be found here. WARNING: contents are HIGHLY addictive. Each game lasts 2 minutes and the first day we found it - we played about an hour without stopping. My daughter got frustrated because he's hard to control at first - but her wiley father who is a vet of the early 80's arcade invasion has never met a controller he hasn't seen and mastered before (unless it's some new fangled console game controller with 27 buttons - if it is - his nephew kicks his ass at it). Lucky enough, this game only uses 4 keys. You jump this dolphin around and do tricks. Landing cleanly with no splash is the trick to high scores. I used to be happy with 10,000 points when I first started. Now, I get 150,000 and I'm not happy. Landing 10-12 consecutive clean jumps and quickly turning direction back to the sky will get you fireworks if you make it to the moon and I've even shot past the moon and had Mars on the screen. This may be the single best flash game I've come across. Have fun. Remember, to score high you must make no splash for many jumps in a row while continuing to do tricks in the air. I usually stop "tricking" at the jump's apex and make sure my nose is pointed towards the water. As you land successive jumps you keep gaining speed and it gets harder and harder to turn yourself around cleanly in the water without running into the bottom.

My Dad's Cooler Than Your Dad

Would your dad send you this link? Jimmy Kimmel is awesome. I love his delivery. I like his girlfriend Sarah Silverman too. Both are regulars on the Stern show and are very funny in an uncensored atmosphere. I still wish Dave Letterman, Jimmy and Conan would beat jay Leno with towels filled with bars of soap. He sucks.

Tale Of Two Cities

The three pictures with a sprinkling of fans were taken off the Colts website showing pictures of their celebration parade. Their own website sites about 40,000 fans attended. The three pictures full of yellow are off of the Steelers website from the Super Bowl XL parade last year. There are about 10 references on Google estimating the crowd to be over 250,000 people as the entire city shut down. I'm not sure what my point is other to say when Manning thanked the crowd for being the best fans in the league, he didn't do nearly as much homework researching that as he did the Bear's defense. Also, from every account I read and from the noise levels at the game and listening to the announcers - the crowd was about 70-30 Bears fans. I'm not ragging on the Colts, I'm just using them as a yardstick to see how football crazy Pittsburgh really is. Still A Dad taped the parade and mailed it to me last year and I have to say - from every angle I saw and from every aerial shot - that parade was jam packed more than 10 people deep every step of the way. Thanks to Still A South for sending this in. The Steeler's website has video of the parade as well if you've never seen it. I linked to some video highlites last March that a friend of a friend took.

Carack Obannabis

Well, no guesswork needed here. Barack Obama wrote about his past drug use in his memoirs. Do I think it will hurt his chances? Nope. Not a single bit. Why do I even bring it up? Because I'd like every single person who tried to crucify Bush for alleged cocaine use to now do the same to Obama. Riiiiiight. That's what I thought. That's what sucks about politics. You have to be very careful when you play the "Gotcha!" game. The democrats had Bush as a "hard partying" kind of guy. Their spin on Obama? That due to his racial diversity, he was confused and had to figure things out. So, how do all the successful racially diverse Americans that didn't self medicate themselves take this? I would be insulted. They obviously didn't have to do cocaine to figure themselves out? They have Bush drunk off his ass at a frat party snorting coke and trying to get laid. Obama however climbed to the top of a mountain and did his coke so he could reflect on the meaning of life and how he fit into this cruel world. Awww. Gee Willackers, when you put it like that I guess it's ok. I thought he was hangin' with bitches and ho's listening to Rick James trying to get his groove on with the honeys. My bad. When the allegations came out against Bush - it was headline news for days. Not too many people are even aware of this issue with Obama. Why? The liberal media already covered it when he ran his first campaign so there is no need to bring it up again. Um, ok. I'm not passing judgement on anyone or suggesting that you can't be president in your 40's or 50's based on something you did 20 years earlier. All I'm asking for is equal treatment by the same news outlets that went after Bush during his presidential bid. Fox News should lead with this story for a week, maybe they already did, I try not to watch the news. If you want unbiased news, read The Economist.

Nannies and Priests and Teachers..."Oh My!"

What the hell kind of lawyer can take this case? I couldn't be a court ordered public defendant. I'd have to kill myself. The next time you think to yourself "I'm glad the teacher is taking such an interest in my child" and they look like an axe murderer...wise up. Don't trust these people! There's an excellent book on this subject called "Protecting The Gift" that was recommended to me by someone in the security business. If you have kids, buy it and read it. We try to steer our kids away from trouble and this is what's waiting at school. Nice. He didn't even offer him an 'A'!!!!

Bands and Commercials

Is nothing sacred anymore? I just heard The Violent Femmes "Add It Up" as background music for a Wendy's commercial. There are some bands that you expect this from and it doesn't surprise you at all. There are others though, that are profoundly shocking to those who follow music closely. Rush is one of my favorite bands of all-time and my last two cars have been Maximas. Was I pleased when Rush sold Nissan the intro to "Tom Sawyer" to use in commercials? No. Geddy Lee planned for the backlash by saying he was careful not to sell any singing but just the music. What are you going to do? At least it was a favorite song of mine selling my favorite car. Others I was surprised by were Sting getting together with Jaguar and literally concocting an ad campaign to promote both of them and Robert Plant selling out to Pepsi years ago followed by the entire Zeppelin gang with Cadillac. I expect Biz Markie. I don't expect KRS-One. I expect Jessica Simpson. I don't expect Mary J. Blige. Freaking Moby was selling music to commercials like Wendy's sells french fries to fat people. Then he had some bogus statement like "the more people that hear my music the better". If it wasn't for Eminem, i might not even know who Moby is....or was? I guess I just had the Violent Femmes down as one of the groups I would least expect to hear shilling for a product. If I remember correctly, REM turned down Bill Gates and $25 million when he wanted to use "It's the end of the world as we know it" to launch Windows '95. Who took over? The Rolling Stones with "Start Me Up". Like they needed the money. I've soured on Michael Stipe over the years anyway. The man who was begging people to "Ban G.E" on MTV's music awards in the early 90's turned up on "Saturday Night Live" a few weeks later on NBC. Guess who owned NBC. Right....G.E. So, I guess it won't be long before I'm sacked out on the couch watching the tube and Pearl Jam's "Evenflow" comes on as Kathy Rigby pitches some sort of feminine pad for menstruation. Worse yet, Radiohead's "Creep" will be used for...oh, I don't know....John Edward's campaign commercials? I'm no fan of Eddie Vedder's politics, but I like their music and I'll look for the falling sky when "Jeremy" is used to sell anti-depressants.

Slanted #36

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"I Learn Something New Every Day" LeVert

This is my catchphrase every time I look something up on Wikipedia or Google to clarify a discussion at work. Today we were talking about Anna Nicole Smith's death and I brought up that I recently saw something about the autopsy reports for a LeVert who died not that long ago. Nobody knew who I was talking about but when I read the blurb a few days ago - even though they didn't get into who he was - I associated him with a family soul band. Today I tried to describe him/them as a "DeBarge" type maybe - but nobody got that reference either. I remembered that El DeBarge was once married to Janet Jackson in secret and I got a lot of crazy looks. It's amazing the amount of useless pop culture I keep in my noggin! Anyway, I then changed my tune and said I remember LeVert as a Luther Vandross type musician. Everyone nodded. I looked up LeVert today and it was a family band formed by two brothers who were the sons of one of the O-Jays. Great, so their father was a murdering, jealous ex-husband. I've already implicated Elvis as Anna Nicole Smith's killer.....now let's add OJ and the family of Gerald LeVert! In fact, where was Still A Dog on Friday afternoon?

Learned: LeVert brothers were sons of an O-Jay and had a hit with "Casanova".

...And Speaking Of Greg Lloyd

Geez, It was like 1995 for me this weekend. I think I watched 2 things on television the entire weekend and both things had an ex-Steeler from Super Bowl XXX. I watched a new favorite show of mine "Pros Vs. Joes" on Saturday afternoon and the episode I watched featured Kevin Greene. He stood 5 yards deep while a center hiked a ball to a qb on the 10 yard line who then tossed it to one of the Joes who was also 5 yards deep. In order to win - the Joe had to beat Greene into the endzone. Everyone was in full pads and uniforms. Each of 3 Joes got 3 tries. Greene gave up 1 td as the Joe took an inside route and KG didn't even get a hand on him. On the other 8 attempts, not only did he stop them - he inflicted pain. It was hilarious. During the overtime round where a winner is determined from the best 2 Joes, they had 1 minute each to stop KG from getting to a qb dummy and knocking a ball out of his "hand". Neither stopped him and it got to the point where they were moving out of his way. He was an animal. Later Saturday night I was watching some of the NFL Pro Bowl Skills Competition and they started off with an "old timers" game of flag football. Greg Lloyd was the pass rusher on one of the teams. They didn't talk to him and he didn't get much camera time at all - but it was good to see the dynamic duo back on tv. Both appeared to be in outstanding physical condition which is more than I can say for some of the Pros I've seen on "Pros Vs Joes". I saw on a teaser commercial that Kordell Stewart is going to appear in the upcoming weeks. That would be a good week to be a Joe if they are going to test accuracy!

PotAto, PatatO

Someone named "Obama" should have the same chance to be in power here as someone named "Buush" would have in the mid East.....None. I hate being reminded of Osama every time I hear Obama. He can run.....if he agrees to change his name to something like - Oh, I don't know - "Smith?" . Also, what's with his first name "Barack" rhyming with "Iraq". I'm starting to think there is a conspiracy here. You couldn't make something like this up could you? I only have 3 words for Mr. Obama: "Rudy, Rudy Rudy!". Giuliani is a much cooler name for a President. Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani III sounds like a character from the Sopranos. Rudy is the man for the job. Why? He's an outsider not already entangled in Washington politics. Plus, his name doesn't sound like "Iraq Osama". People vote for presidents for all types of reasons. People didn't vote for Gore because he seemed "too smart". Remember, the man did invent the Internet. We voted for Bush because it seemed like we could sit down and have a beer with him. When Gore realized he was losing votes because of this, he changed his image to stop wearing suits and he started rolling his sleeves up. He reminded me of Frasier on Cheers when he was first trying to fit in with the guys. Talk about sticking a square peg in a round hole. Gore just gave off that weird vibe. I get the same vibe from Edwards. No man is ever that happy. That is the damn creepiest smile I've ever seen. That's the kind of smile that sends the wife and 2.5 kids to bed behind the white picket fence and then gets online to check out the chat rooms for people with taser fetishes. Seriously, he looks like a cross between a used car salesman and a televangelist. Don't even get me started on Hillary. I'm not a fan of carpetbaggers and the only reason they settled where they did was to get her elected. She grew up a Cubs fan and allowed herself to be pimped out wearing a Yankees hat declaring that she needed an American League team. Hello? Ever hear of this team called the White Sox? Ugh! I can't stand the lot of them. Save us Rudy!

It Makes You Think

When people ask me who my all-time favorite Steeler is - it doesn't take me long to respond "Greg Lloyd". I named a pet after the man! It goes without saying that he was the undisputed leader on defense for many years. His hard-nosed physical play defined Steelers football. After he retired and assault charges were brought against him on more than one occasion - I started to wonder if they were true - or if they were part of a ploy by his wife to sway court decisions in her favor. It came out in his son's therapy that he (Greg Sr.) allegedly stuck a gun in his (Greg Jr's) mouth over grades when he was 12 years old. It went to trial twice with no resolution so the mother decided not to go a third time. This article sounds very convincing, but it's mostly one-sided. I don't want to believe it's true - but somewhere in the back of my head, there is a part of me that thinks it could be true. His business partner vouches for him, but how many times do neighbors and friends end up on the news saying something like "I would have never guessed it - he seemed so normal" after somebody kills 8 people and buries them in their backyard? I like Greg Lloyd. I love the way he played. I loved him in that jersey, but I'm also a father. My daughter knows my "serious" voice and sometimes when I use it I can see that it makes her uncomfortable and I immediately take it down a notch or two to still get my message across while trying to alleviate any stress she's feeling. That's from a VOICE and a LOOK. I would never in a kazillion years lay a finger on her. Hell, I can't even discipline a cat if it pukes on my favorite shirt! I start off thinking I'm going to smack his butt and in the end I end up scratching him in his favorite spot asking him if he's sick. I'm just too "chicken-hearted". Cut me off in traffic and I'll get out of my car and fight you, live in my house and you're untouchable. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be for the meanest man in professional football to look at you and yell? How about if he grabbed your shoulder or arm? Now picture him holding a gun in your mouth! I hope it's not true. I hope with Greg Jr. turning 18, he and Sr. will reconnect and Jr. will go on to say his mother made him say it. I don't know if my favorite player ever can be someone who uses psychological terror on his own flesh and blood.

In All Fairness To Rex...

First of all, I don't know anything about Rex Grossman's college career as I'm not much of a college football fan. What I know about him as a pro is that he gets hurt at the beginning of the season and then misses the rest of it - with the exception of this year. Oh yeah, and he's as inconsistent as they come. All that being said - I genuinely feel bad for the guy. Like I said yesterday, the language that used to be for AM Talk Radio and cable opinion shows has now infiltrated the network shows and halftime at the Super Bowl. "He's terrible" is something for the fans to say to each other. I just cringe when an ex-Super Bowl quarterback says it to zillions of people. I don't know why it bothers me - it just does. So, in all fairness to Rex, I thought I'd point something out. Rex took the loss like a man and didn't point fingers. He called his picks mistakes - one a bad decision and one a bad throw. I remember last year when a certain menacing defense flattened our newly crowned SB MVP the entire game and he threw his offensive line under the bus. It would have been very easy for Rex to point out that Indy went on drives of 80, 47, 58, 56 and 62 to score points. The Bears defense is hiding behind Rex's reputation right now as they did little to stop Indy's running game. I'm not a fan of Rex Grossman. I just think he's getting piled on unfairly. I'm also not calling him Joe Montana. I pointed out yesterday that I only had 3 QBs below him in the history of the Super Bowl. Thing is, the guy that graduates last from medical school is still a doctor.

Tony Vs. Paul

This is a bit long at 5 minutes, but it's very ambitious. I don't know if they should be commended for nice work - or made fun of for all the time it took to make it. I think it would have played better at 2:30 or so, but what do I know, I work 8 hours a day for a living..well, most of the time...including darts, bathroom needs, walks to store....ok, maybe 6?

26 from 51

No, no and no. Boomer said some things that made me feel bad for Rex Grossman, his family and his friends. He said "Awful Rex" showed up or something to that effect - but he did use the word "awful". The other guys were measured in their responses but Boomer was not and this was BEFORE the two picks. My thoughts are that 10 years ago, maybe more like 15, we wouldn't have seen that on national TV during halftime. We could have heard it on an ESPN opinion type show or AM radio sports talk....but not during halftime of the big game itself. He could have said inconsistent or inexperienced under pressure - but he chose the low road. What does that have to do with 26 and 51? Well, I went back and did some research wondering if Rex Grossman was potentially the QB with the worst reputation that ever played in the big game. There have been 51 starting QBs in the Super Bowl and only 26 winning QBs out of the 51. I'll run down the list of the 26 winners first and then we'll see how Rex stacks up against the guys that never got the ring. It would be too hard for me to put the two lists together but it's crying to be done (Still A Dog?). Maybe Dog can give us the list from 1 to 51 in order if he had to choose today his starter. It's going to be hard as Steeler fans to place Big Ben in that list because his legacy is just beginning (hopefully). Clearly, there will be QBs that never won the game on this list who are far superior to some who did win. Obvious examples would be where to rank Dan Marino and Fran Tarkenton. They absolutely rank higher than your Doug Williams and Jim McMahons. Dog has been around a few (a lot?) more years than me so he saw all of these guys play. The ranking of the 26 winners is just my opinion. If you disagree, please don't thorw QB ratings at me as they mean nothing comparing QB's from different eras. Those guys threw less passes and didn't dink and dunk to raise their completion percentages. Here goes:

(Player/SB Played/SB Won)
01. Montana 4/4
02. Bradshaw 4/4
03. Elway 5/3
04. Favre 2/1
05. Starr 2/2
06. Brady 3/3 (Future Pending)
07. Young 1/1
08. Staubach 4/2
09. Aikman 3/3
10. Manning 1/1 (Future Pending)
11. Namath 1/1
12. Dawson 2/1
13. Griese 3/2
14. Warner 2/1
15. Simms 1/1
16. Theismann 2/1
17. Stabler 1/1
18. Plunkett 2/2
19. Roethlisberger (Future Pending) 1/1
20. McMahon 1/1
21. Hostetler 1/1
22. Johnson 1/1
23. Dilfer 1/1
24. Williams 1/1
25. Rypien 1/1
26. Morral/Unitas - Didn't Rank - Morral Started, Unitas Finished

That was really hard because some of them are great and some of them are very efficient and had long careers. I have no idea what I based those rankings on other than a gut feeling and watching most of them play. Some had outstanding receivers most of their careers like Bradshaw and Montana while people like Tom Brady went into Super Bowls with far less fire power and still won. I have little doubt that Steve Young could have won 4 SBs had he played there the same years Montana did. I feel the same way about Brett Favre had he played for the Steelers in the 70's. What can I say, this is my list.


Of the 25 Losers, I have the following, again - according to me only:

01. Marino 1
02. Unitas 1
03. Kelly 4
04. Tarkenton 3
05. Boomer 1
06. Gannon 1
07. Hasselbeck 1
08. Bledsoe 1
09. McNabb 1
10. McNair 1
11. Anderson 1
12. Jaworski 1
13. Chandler 1
14. O'Donnell 1
15. Delhomme 1
16. Lamonica 1
17. Morton 2
18. Kilmer 1
19. Collins 1
20. Humphries 1
21. Grogan 1
22. Grossman 1
23. Ferragamo 1
24. Woodley 1
25. Kapp 1

I don't know a lot about some of these guys that were 0-1 in the Super Bowl, so maybe Dog can expand on them a little. I may have placed them all far too low. Who knows? After doing the losers, I looked at some of their stats and I only made 2 or 3 adjustments to my list so I think I did pretty good. So, what I set out to see was how all other SB QBs stacked up against Rex Grossman. I don't think he was the worst ever. Ten years from now he may move far up the list if he has a better than average career. Wow. Dog, do some homework and take us 'oldschool'. You up to sorting the combined list for us?

Chuck-Z, Big Pimpin'

Another mash-up video clip this time featuring Charlie Brown and the gang doing Big Pimpin' by Jay-Z. I love these things! Language is not safe for work.

Super Bowl Trivia

Something Boomer Esiason said at halftime made me think of looking this up....and I did....and I want to rant about it later - but I wanted to see if anyone knew the significance of these two numbers as far as Super Bowls go: 26 and 51. Details tonight or tomorrow morning.

Thoughts From Super Bowl XLI

I wonder if Dan Marino is happy this morning? Why would he be happy you ask? Because now every time Manning's name comes up in the playoffs, the line of thought won't go straight to "he's this generation's Dan Marino - huge numbers - no Super Bowl ring". Makes sense I guess, although misery loves company. Maybe Marino wanted...needed....another big-time QB to share that distinction with. It's hard to read Marino to see how he really feels about it, but wouldn't it be hysterical if he was really like the reclusive kicker from Ace Ventura - Pet Detective? That he can't get on with his life because it bothers him so much. Funnier yet that it was Marino that the kicker kidnapped because he didn't put the "laces out" on the kick. Oh well, and why do I care about Marino this morning...because I could care less about the Super Bowl this year. Sloppy weather made for sloppy play - I can't remember one play really except for the Marvin Harrison toe catch and Hester's return. Without all the turnovers, it was a pretty unremarkable game to watch unless you're a Colt's or Bear's fan. We all knew Rex Grossman was inconsistent and potentially the least talented QB to every play in the big game. If the Bears were going to win - it would have to be on defense and they came up small. Manning ate them up underneath and Rhodes and Addai looked like they were running against the early season Colt's defense. The Bears were on defense the entire game. They couldn't get off the field or convert a 3rd down on offense. Other than that - what's there to say? One thing I found a little odd was Manning's reaction to the win. Michael Jordon used to jump on tables and raise his fists in the air. Tiger Woods has the fist pump. Manning looked like a zombie to me. I'm not even sure as time ran out that I saw him smile. As he walked across the filed nodding and saying "good job" to teammates and opponents alike....it was with the same demeanor that a wood shop teacher would walk down the line of students inspecting their birdhouses "good job.....good job.....roof's crooked....good job....". Maybe he didn't want to let his emotions show but I remember Brett Favre when he won and he looked like a 7 year old on Christmas morning. I think it was a controlled response and maybe that's why I'm not a Manning fan. Be real. Let it out. If anyone has any right to explode after winning the Super Bowl - it would be someone who has heard he can't for 5 years. Maybe he saved it for the locker room? Who knows? Who cares? I'm glad the AFC won, I'm glad Tony Dungy won (did you know he's the first black coach to win a Super Bowl (dripping with sarcasm )? Am I happy for Manning? Not really. Not that I was rooting against him, but I like Dan Marino damn it......and now he needs a new buddy for his club. Let's hope it's Carson Palmer 5 years from now!

Hartings To Retire

I first learned to respect Kevin Colbert's opinions when he brought Jeff Hartings with him from Detroit. Hartings wasn't a known commodity to me then since I'm more of an AFC guy, but I quickly became aware of just how good he was. Colbert knew he had talent and needed to be on a good team to be recognized. Reports are coming out that Hartings has played his last down as a Steeler. I wish him well. This move also makes the draft quite interesting. If Tomlin wants to go 4-3 in the next 2-3 years, I think he'll be forced to take a DL. However, if Rooney and LeBeau are in his ear to keep the 3-4 alive and well, we may see a center as the first pick as Okobi may not be the guy to lead us into the future. True, he may be a stop-gap, but for goodness sakes - he's been there a lot of years already and probably isn't considered the center for the next 6 years or so.

Old Steeler Footage

Did anyone see the Steeler portion of NFL Film's Super Bowl Teams this weekend? The thing that stood out to me most in the entire hour following the 1978 season - was Terry Bradshaw driving to the stadium for a playoff game and being stopped by a cop directing traffic who wanted to wish him luck. Why did it stand out to me? Terry was driving some broken down piece of shit looking yellow Ford pickup truck! 1978 may well have been his best season as a passer, and he's tooling around in a beater. Classic! I loved it. It was also funny to see the other guys in the episode getting on Rocky Bleier for never shutting up about his vertical leap catch in the Super Bowl. Good stuff. The clips of the AFC Championship game against Houston brought back a ton of memories. I watched it with my daughter and told her I remember watching that game when I was 10 years old. And, I still learn something new every day. In the Super Bowl that year (and I just watched the entire game recently while on the treadmill on a "too cold" morning) when Franco Harris bursts through the line for a rushing TD on 3rd down (a play I have committed to memory as well) I had no idea he was in an altercation on the play right before it. He came to another Steeler's defense after the whistle and got very agitated. I can't remember against who because someone was talking to me while I was watching it, but in the huddle he told Bradshaw he wanted the ball and Randy Grossman said he never saw Franco so fired up. I don't care what any survey says or what any football pundit says...the Steelers who won 4 of 6 Super Bowls can never ever be matched in talent. Someone might come along some day and win 4 of 5, or 5 in 6, but no team will ever again have that much talent on both sides of the ball. Never.

Andy Reid Uses Sons As Distraction

It's really funny how lately I've been hearing so much about how much time NFL coaches put in. Cowher needed out. I heard Bill Walsh say he retired too early last night but he was burned out. Gruden sleeps 4 hours a night. Spurrier couldn't handle the schedule and got out. Last night in the Philadelphia area - both of Andy Reid's sons were in trouble with the law in mutually exclusive events (right, wink wink). One was in a road rage incident and apparently pulled a gun on the other driver and pointed it at him. The other slammed into another car injuring the driver and the police found drug paraphernalia in the car. Hmmmm. Listen, I've watched a lot of detective shows on tv, and if my hunch is right, this was just a "cover up". A massive, massive "cover-up". If the Philly blues do their homework and due diligence on this case - I'm betting they'll find that the closest food store to the Reid's house got jacked last night. I'm thinking Reid was furious that McNabb talked to the press in Miami and went on a crazed food binge. He probably ate everything in the house, screamed at the boys and told them to go out and cause a diversion. After the boys left the house scared for their lives (Andy has threatened to eat both of them on separate occasions before) he waited patiently before changing into his size XXXXL black sweat suit. Having trouble pulling the waistband over his last fold, he slit it an inch and finally got it on. He waddled out the back door and over to the local Genuardi's. After surprising the last employee out by distracting him and asking if he wanted Jeff Garcia's autograph, Reid decked him with the frozen turkey he carries with him in case he gets stranded and needs food. After entering the food store - he followed his normal routine upon entering - he walked over to the baked good aisles and pleasured himself to the smell of doughnuts. After cleaning up, he made his way through each department sampling everything in site. When his first son called to ask for advice and told him that he just pulled a gun on someone while driving his car - Andy barely heard him over the crunching of Cheetos. He simply told him to stay out for at least another hour so police would not come to the house first and notice Andy was missing. By the time son number two called with news that he was found with drug items in his car - Andy was having a high of his own. His eyes were almost rolled back in his head as he was dipping various pepperoni meat-type products in mayonnaise and chasing it with chocolate milk. He belched, used the facility to bomb the Kurds and quickly waddled back to the comfort of his home. The police wouldn't be there to search the house for the gun for another 10 minutes. Andy sighed a sigh of relief, knowing that the sons he ignores took a hit for him so he could feed his inner demons.

Cowher on HBO = Yawn

Well, almost as expected, the piece that King raved about was guiltless self-promotion. He was at Cowher's house (which they didn't show) and they went into a tape room and as Bill pontificated on what might happen, they then ran that exact scenario on Madden '06. It was a 5 minute piece and no time to get into any depth whatsoever. Regarding Dog's last comment, maybe they did get into depth but then it was edited out due to lack of total understanding! Anway - Cowher predicts the Bears are not afraid of Dallas Clark deep over the middle because that is Urlacher's territory and he can cover it. Other gems? They will chip Freeney to slow him down by bringing someone over in motion right before the snap. Not much else to chew on as I didn't think the piece on air equalled what King described in his article. I think the piece got edited down. The show was busy last night as they had Bill Walsh on who was only given weeks to live after being diagnosed with acute leukemia. Walsh was defiant in defending the west coast offense by pointing out if you run on 1st down and get 4 yards you are applauded for "establishing the run" and "setting the tone". His question to these critics? What's wrong with passing for 4 or 5 yards on first down? Who knows. I know it's nice to have a physical running game when you are trying to run out the clock with a lead. I also know when it's 3rd and 3 or 4 defenses have to respect the run if you can run. He was then called the greatest Super Bowl coach of all time. Hmmmm, seems to me he won 3 and Chuck Noll won 4.