FAN: Hitler or Saddam

So here we go again.... another NFL week acting like the Colts and Patriots are the only two teams playing. I get really sick of it. Manning is on the cover of SI so Peter King can suck from his teet. Picking who I want to win this game is easy, the Pats. Should the Steelers make the AFC Championship game and it's not a home game which is a very likely scenario, I'd much rather play at New England than go to the sissy, sterile, noise added dome. As for actually rooting for the Pats to win, ain't gonna happen. I hesitate to even watch the game because the idiot announcers are already in a thesaurus this morning frantically scribbling down other words for awesome, phenominal, perfect, elite, gay ......etc.

FAN: Based On What?

In their annual idiotic articles, both Peter King and Don Banks of SI picked the Patriots over the Steelers as their top teams. King has the Pats beating Pittsburgh in the playoffs and Banks has a ranking list with the Pats at #1 and the Steelers at #2. Stupid and worthless as these lists are, how does one pick a team to be the best when their QB hasn't taken a meaningful snap in so long? How many defensive players did they lose? Seymour, Bruschi, Vrabel, Harrison and Seau.....gone. It makes me laugh. Could they win the Super Bowl....YES. Anybody can win the Super Bowl. Does it make sense to pick them with Brady coming off his knee and all the losses? No. King is a homer who sucks from the teet of Belimort and Banks probably sucks from the teet of King (who has a nice set of man teets I must say). Do they honestly believe they are better, right now on paper or not, than the defending Super Bowl Champions who have lost very little meaningful talent? Puhlease. Here We Go.

FAN: Technically I Own Belimort

On 2/3/2008, I referred to Bill Belichick as Belimort. I recently looked at searches that landed at SCS and one of them was for Belimort. I did my own Google search and found that even though one other person used it, I used it first. When you think about it, if you were to merge Patriot's coach Bill Belichick with any other famous villain - who would it be? It flows so beautifully. Maybe Adolf Hitler, but how could you phrase it? Darth Vader? Same issue. I wish this would catch on and become part of the football lexicon. Just think of the marketing opportunities if Belichick embraced this idea. Even though Disney doesn't make the Potter movies, they do distribute them...don't they? Belimort T-Shirts would fly off the shelves. I can see Patriots authentic jerseys with number '666' on the back and "Belimort"stitched into history. I am hereby petitioning all NFL fans, heck, anybody that reads this, to copy as many football fans as you know with this link. I want to add Belimort to the NFL vernacular. Can't you just see this character stalking the sidelines, breathing heavily through his mouth, turning quickly in disgust after every bad play...... My dream would be for Belimort to be as big as Chucky during the week Mr. Gruden went to the Super Bowl. Voldemort, meet Bill Belichick.....brought to you by Steel City Slant.

FAN: Steelers Destroy Patriots

It was a beautiful day for football, wasn't it? The Patriots smacked around at home. Ahh, everything will be fine in the universe for the next 6 days. Not much to say about the game other than my random musings which begin now: Willie showed a nice burst on his first carry. During the Steeler's first offensive series, shouldn't we have run more? Belichick in hoodie down - stupid, Belichick in hoodie up - stupider. Early in the game, starting a series inside their own 15, after already giving up a pick and a score, we threw three straight times on a three and out. I like Russel and Holmes returning kicks and punts. After Holmes scored on a nice move off a pump fake - Dan Dierdork mentioned it 5 times and yet they failed to show the move on replay. Fat Casey got mad and had a sack 2 plays later....his first of the year. Does that mean he's not trying hard enough the rest of the time? Troy Polamalu's spin move to get an extra 15 yards on his pick was something out of 1940. Sweet. When you are winning 23-10 with 9 minutes remaining and your star RB has a recently healed knee....why is he still in the game? Especially when Moore was doing fine. When was the last time Gillette stadium was empty with 10 minutes to play? When Ike Taylor flipped the ball to Jabar Gaffney after Gaffney's miss, it was the most animated Belimort was all day! That's saying something. Instead of being mad that his defense gave up 180 rushing....he was mad at that??? I laugh at your stupidity. With less than 5 minutes to go you could hear Steeler Nation chanting "Here We Go", music to my ears. Last but certainly not least - Dan Dierdorf said 12 times today that the drops didn't look like they were being caused by the rain. Did you see how hard it was raining? He's a nut bag. When it's raining that hard, it's like a thin coating of oil is on the ball when it's spinning like that. It rained the entire warmup and game....hard. Don't tell me from your dry booth you old coot that the rain had nothing to do with the drops. Nothing? Maybe it was hard to see through....hard to pick up the ball.....rain in your eyes....surprised at just how wet the ball was when it hit you..... DORK!

DOG: Stillers 33, Cheatriots 10 - Game Notes

• Well, well. Seems when Billy B. doesn't have accurate surveilance he becomes far less of a genius. In fact, he looked more like the Notre Dame coach and the Cleveland Browns coach than Vince Lombardi.


• Matt Cassell however does look just like Tom Brady... gay.


• I would take the 15 yard penalty, and the inevitable fine coming from Roger GODdell every time, to knock out a little weasel like Wes Welker. My only question is, why did it take us 'til the second half to knock the piss out of him? Thank you, Ryan Clark!


• That Randy Moss is money. He looked like Jackie Smith in Super Bowl XIII. Dropping the sure TD in the end zone.


• The Silverback is by far the defensive player of the year in the NFL.


• I said back a few weeks ago I'd wait to see what the Stillers brought into Gillette Stadium before I made up my mind. My mind is now made up. We are riding! At least me and my dog (Dog's dog) Mattie are riding. Into the playoffs. Anybody want to join us?


• This is the first time since... well since he called for a QB bootleg on 3rd and 6 in the playoffs last year, that I watched an entire Steeler game without bitching incessantly about Bruce Arians.


• I like Mike Tomlin better with each passing week, win or lose.


• And for all you Tom Brady loving Patriots apologists among our 35 readers: I hope you wore your Patriots jerseys today with pride. You are every bit as pathetic as the Patriot "fans" who abandoned the stadium in the 3rd quarter and left the New England night air ringing with a resounding "Here We Go STEELERS! HERE WE GO!!" as CBS cut over to the Jets-Broncos game.


• Saddle up Stillers, we got some Cowboys to take care of next.

Tom Brady: Blame Belichick

Hey, Tom! How's your knee? Isn't Karma a bitch? Remember last year when Belichick had you in games with a 24 point lead late? When the backup could have been in learning the system and getting some "real speed" snaps? Remember sitting with Belichick in his secret lab going over all the defensive calls of your next opponent that he got from illegal tapings? You don't? Do you know that AFC fans (and probably NFC fans) have been waiting for Belichick to prove he's a genius without you? Waiting so long..... You see, Tom, Bill Belichick wasn't a genius with Cleveland. He sucked with the Browns. Cowher was like 8-1 against him then. He wasn't a genius with Drew Bledsoe at the helm either. No, I think Bill has been riding your coat tails for some time now and I've said it before in the past. Now we're going to see how he does when his star player goes down which hasn't happened to him in a long time. I see the end of a self proclaimed "dynasty" coming. They have stopped drafting well and started hiring mercenaries like Seau and Lynch to name a few....stars in the twilight of their careers. He's done it more and more the past few seasons. I can't wait for Moss to go back to the huddle and chirp at the new guy (who is so nameless I can't remember his name). Oh the bliss in watching Randy yell at him as the team implodes. Sorry Chrissy Twocoats, I don't wish for anyone to get hurt, but that's different from enjoying what may happen now that he has already been hurt. The smugness was gone from his press conference. He looked like a deer in headlights. Now let's see him coach and manage Moss with a QB who won't be asked to win games. I can't wait. And, I hope once other teams get up on them, they continue to pile on the points....and I will love every minute of it. Every second of every minute.....

Disclaimer: If Belichick does coach out his ass and they make the playoffs and win a game, I will be deleting this post from the archives. Nyah!

Death Penalty

This case is open and closed in my book. The story is horrible no matter the age. Parents should break down and cry if their daughter ends up a hooker, not train her to be one. I can't understand the Mom at all. Perfect strangers having their way with your little girl. Maybe the Mom should be locked in a room with a bunch of big, fat, hairy back, non ass wiping, tooth decaying men who can do anything they want to her for a few years. Huh? Oh, you're right. I'm guessing Bill Belichick doesn't want to put his team in the spotlight any more this off season.

Spygate Joke

Spygate as they call it is going to end like it started, like a joke to the commissioner's office. It's been about 4 months since the story broke on Mr. Walsh maybe having a tape of the SB walk through. He's now going to meet and has a handful of tapes, none including the infamous walk through. As all the writers say - it's over. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? They could have raided his house the day after that story and if a tape didn't show up I would still be suspicious. The NFL just wants this story to go away. That's the only way they win. They take a HUGE hit if that tape is ever produced. I'm not claiming it does - how would I know - but JFC - they waited forever to make a deal to get this guy in. Who knows who else he was in contact with. Kraft could have funneled money or benefits to him in any number of ways. This thing stinks, the whole thing stinks. How on Earth can Belimort be trusted? He's a rat. His career is one Tom Brady hit away from being over. As I like to say, he wasn't much of a genius in Cleveland and he wasn't much of a genius with Drew Bledsoe. Tom Brady is probably tired of Bills heels digging into his outer thighs as he rides on his back. Yeah, I said it.

Scheduling Gods Not Happy

Wow. This information has been out for a while, but I haven't put too much thought in it up until this point. Peter King's MMQB article today on si.com lists our Stillers as having the hardest schedule next season based on this year's results. After the six games in our own division, 8 of the 10 teams we play are playoff teams and all 10 finished at or above .500 last year. The Patriots only have 4 games against teams above .500 from last year. That's what happens when you rotate the other Conference Division that you play against. So how did our other six Conference games that the formula comes up with get so much harder than the Pats? I don't know, maybe Matt Walsh made the schedule? Line 'em up, we'll knock 'em down. It will make us better to play against better competition week after week and we won't get a chance to take a game off....like Arizona last year.

Don't Speak Too Soon

The only reason Dan Rooney is coming out and saying this (too early in my opinion) is probably to help the NFL squash this story and get back to business. If I found out anything by reading Dan's book, all decisions must be for the good of the league. Plus, he was a huge backer of Goodell from the beginning of the selection process and he was the one who got to go to Goodell's room and tell him he was the new commissioner. I really hope Mr. Rooney at minimum made those statements about Spygate without being asked to.

Liar, Liar, Pants On......

Well, Well, Well.....the plot thickens. Seems like the Pats have been taping defensive signals since 2000. Why didn't Goodell give up that information in September? Why does it take Arlen Freakin' Specter to get us that info? The more I hear about this, the more I think there is at minimum a small cover-up. Goodell was trying to protect the sanctity of the league. He's failing. How do we know it was just defensive signals? The other thing is - everyone thought Belimort's punishment was for the one incident against the Jets. If he's been doing it 16 times a year plus playoff games for 7 complete years, that's what, like 125 occurrences of breaking a cardinal rule of the NFL? Chrissy Twocoats, I smell something rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's not Tom Brady's Stetson.

Slantedamus 19-0

Hey! I predicted this Monday at lunch and got a big laugh.

Well Well Well

Roger seems to be Roger Dodger on this subject, does't he? The cCommissioner asked the Patriots about it and they denied it. Well, that's good enough for me! What percentage of prisoners in the clink would tell you they didn't do anything either? Here's what I think: I think there was an elaborate scheme and it was all documented and filed and when Goodell found it, he destroyed it so people would keep watching football and not be disgusted by it. If people thought there was espionage going on, they might tune out, so Roger dove on the grenade and will now keep defending his decision. What we need now is for a disgruntled ex-employee to come out and come out hard. Also, the idiots that say it only helps with teams they play twice are just that.....idiots. How many times do former coordinators become head coaches? How many times do they take their systems with them? Thank You! If they tape a guy one season and the next season he is a head coach in their division, the information becomes invaluable. I predict in the next year, we're going to learn a lot more about this. Go Giants!

Define Dynasty, I Dare You

I read an interesting fact this weekend. It was putting the Patriots Super Bowl success in perspective over the past 7 years. If they win this week, they will have won 4 Super Bowls in 7 years. The 70's Steelers of course won 4 in 6 years. One was a true Dynasty, one.....not so much. The Steelers over the course of their run had 22 players win 4 rings each. Nine of those 22 players were elected to the Hall of Fame. Eleven if you count the owner and head coach. I decided to look up the Patriots. Tom Brady, Troy Brown, Teddy Bruschi, Kevin Faulk, Larry Izzo, Matt Light, Lonie Paxton, Richard Seymour & Mike Vrabel are the names. Six of them started the game in 2001. Five of them will start this year. So, of the core players on the teams, they have 5 that overlap. Five. F-I-V-E. The uniform might be a dynasty, the team name and management might be a dynasty....the players? Not so much. How many Pro Bowls did that group attend? You don't necessarily call nine players and 36 rotating lockers a dynasty - that's all I'm saying. I need to say something this week to make myself feel better (and get under Chrissy Twocoats skin a little). To contrast that with Pittsburgh, 12 players of the 22 started both SB 9 and SB 13. I wouldn't even want to begin to count the Pro Bowls that the 22 players with 4 rings rang up. Here are 3 players that are included in the 22 that DID NOT start both games - Lynn Swann, John Stallworth and Mike Webster. Between the trio there are 14 Pro Bowls and they didn't even start in the first Steeler Super Bowl. I'll stop there as it's useless really to try to make my point as we will hear "Dynasty" for the next week nonstop, but you heard it here first...a Dynasty should be defined as "by the same players", not as "by the same team". Hrumph! I wish I had time to add up the Pro Bowls of all 22 players. Nine? And who the Hell is Lonie Paxton?

Are The Patriots Hiring?

If the Pats are currently hiring someone to watch game tape and record the plays of other teams, maybe they can skip all the hard work and just put Cedric to work breaking into other team's facilities? I can't imagine that a playbook would be worth enough to warrant a felony and they should be able to pay him more than what he makes from selling stolen laptops.

Not!

I'm tired of two things concerning the Patriots. One, Rodney Harrison is an ass. I'm sick of him. He delivers late hits at least 10 times per game and only gets flagged for it once. I've seen the Pats play several games this year and he is constantly piling on. I also think moving forward that if you get suspended for HGH during the season, maybe you should have to sit out the playoffs. I'm just really tired of him. Two - can we stop the nonsense of calling this the greatest team in history? Every promo or intro concerning them mentions it. When you think about it, the only reason people say that is because they were undefeated. They are basing everything on their win/loss record. What if the Eagles had finished them off? There have been plenty of one loss teams. Are we then saying they are the greatest team ever because they held on to beat the Eagles? Need I remind anyone with a sense of football history (today's announcers think the NFL standard for defense started with the 2000 Ravens) that the 1976 Steelers sent 8 of their 11 defensive starters to the Pro Bowl? That's unheard of. That team also has how many Hall Of Famers on it? Nine, not including the Coach, Owner and President of the team at the time. How many Patriots on this team have a shot at the Hall Of Fame? The answer is two. Tom Brady is a given. Randy Moss most likely will, but he is one event with the law away from maybe being blackballed. The 1976 Steelers had 4 shutouts in the last 9 games and 3 of them were back-to-back-to-back, going 15 quarters without giving up a single point! Also, their Hall Of Fame QB was injured and they were playing with a backup for a lot of the season and that may be why both Franco Harris and Rocky Bleier went over 1,000 yards. In the games that weren't shutouts they gave up so few points that they averaged 3 points a game over the last 9. They didn't win it all that year due to injuries, but Dan Rooney considers the 1976 Steelers the best team he ever fielded. In the AFC Championship game they were without BOTH of their 1,000 yard rushers (in 14 games remember). The 2007 Patriots are a superb team, hands down. Best team ever? I don't think so. That's a big 'ole statement to make and back up.

Speaking of the AP

Bill Bilermort won the AP Coach of the Year. How in the Mother Hubbard does someone who cheated at their profession turn around and win the best of their profession award? How? How, I ask you? How, How How? What a joke. When you get caught cheating in the Olympics, you get banned and give your medals back. Does anyone else see the injustice here? Furthermore, how many football talking heads will come out against this decision? Probably none, because they would then have no shot to ever interview the genius again. Could someone please remind me why this genius wasn't a genius at Cleveland? If Brady got hit by a truck tomorrow and was done forever - and the Pats won the Super Bowl next year, then I'd think about giving him the stupid award......oh wait, no I wouldn't because he was caught CHEATING the year before!

Tomlin Rules

This is not Michigan versus Appalachian State.

Patriots: Beatable

No, that picture isn't a sighting of the elusive Bigfoot. It is however, a sighting of some sorts. The Patriots are now in sight for every team left on it's schedule. If you listened to the talking heads leading up to the Eagles game last night, they had no shot, no chance in the world to win. Peter King is the one leading the trumpets. You may as well not even play the games - to him, it's not about who will beat them, just about who will give them a good game. Everyone laughed last night and basically called the game an exhibition. To Costas and smarmy Olbermann, the "exhibition season continues tonight....". All the sports writers are trying to outdo themselves with superlatives when talking about the Pats. It's insane. Can we stop the nonsense now? This is the NFL. On any given Sunday, somebody that was supposed to win, loses. I know they're good, Chrissy Twocoats, and they are playing better than any team in the league so far this season....but I'm not ready to crown them SB champs yet let alone the best team that ever stepped onto the field. The injury bug has bitten the Colts, could the Pats be next? They barely beat a team with a losing record, my God, the league has never seen a team like this before! Give me a break.....and I don't care if it's Tom's leg or Randy's.

Did You Hear?

In case you didn't hear (that was dripping with sarcasm) the Colts are playing the Patriots this week. Blah Blah Blah. I'm so freaking sick and tired about hearing about these two teams and seeing Peyton & Tom's faces all over the promos. Every armchair quarterback is saying the winner of this game will win the Super Bowl. Give me a break. They very well may, but it's still the first week of November. Who on Earth would have picked the Steelers to win the Super Bowl in 2005 the week after Halloween? Isn't the team clicking on all eight cylinders at the end of the season the team that usually wins it all? Let's at least wait until the week after Thanksgiving before we start this kind of talk. Every stinking show about football and every pregame show thinks we care who they think will win the Super Bowl. Freaking Peter King started an MVP Watch sidebar in his weekly column several weeks ago...like week 3 or something. Ridiculous. Can we let the season unfold without all the idiots picking teams to win the Bowl already? Every year somebody gets smoked in the playoffs that isn't supposed to. Weren't the Colts supposed to destroy the Steelers in 2005? The Steelers physically manhandled them and made them look bad in doing it. "That's why they play the game" and "On any given Sunday" are two huge quotes concerning the NFL. Now, if you want to watch two teams bash each other's skulls in this week instead of watching the air attacks in the other game - watch the game that myself, Still A Dog & Still A South will be at. Watch The Pittsburgh Steelers try to extend their lead in the AFC North against the hated Baltimore Ravens. Let the talking heads talk and let those two teams listen to their own press clippings. Let their heads swell. Here we come, right under the radar. Watch out.