FAN: Mortgage Schmortgage Obama

This is awesome.

I think the stupid percentage that you used to be able to go up to on your mortgage was something like 30 or 33% of your monthly gross wages as a household. I think I have a pretty big house. It's not even 18 years old. I've lived in it for 4 years. When we bought the house, the mortgage payment was about 17% of our monthly gross wages. Now, four years later, it's 14.5%. Am I in any danger of losing my house? Not even close. What if one of us loses our job? Still not even close. Why? We bought comfortably within our means. We drop our daughter off to play at some houses that two of ours would fit into...and ours isn't small by any means. Had we stayed in the first house we bought, our mortgage right now would be 8% of our monthly gross. When we bought that first house in 1996, the mortgage was about 21% of our monthly gross. I refinanced the first house twice in 8 years bringing down the payment substantially. I bought less house so I could save for retirement and my daughter's college fund. If the government is spending money wisely I don't complain too much about taxes and I understand the logic that the economy could do even worse if these knuckleheads are forced out onto the streets.....but for fuck's sake.....if we are going to bail people out to the tune of what they are talking about concerning mortgages....then there should be rules attached. You smoke? Not any more, dickhead. We're not giving you a dime of government money if you continue to smoke two packs a day or $14 that could be going to your mortgage. Your car cost what? Yea, I'm sorry asshole, but you'll be trading in your Acura for a Ford Focus....tomorrow. We'll pay your mortgage, but the 52" Sony Bravia XBR4 is going right the fuck back to Best Buy where you can pick up your new 27" tube job. Eating out? Nope. Not, if we're paying your mortgage, dillweed. See, the government is going to make a new ID card you need if your rate got dropped due to your stupidity. You'll be leaving Legal Seafood and moving down to the Ground Round y'all. Ya Hear? Snowflake is in Private School? Not anymore she's not. Now she might end up behind the stairs making out with somebody of whom you don't approve. I am royally pissed off about this. I can't wait to hear the Dog's take on it. From my count, the Dog owns 5 houses...yes 5. Is he in any danger of losing any of them? Hell No, I wouldn't be surprised if 3 or 4 of them are paid off. Stupid people suck. There are people who bought under their limit and are doing all the right things and are having trouble keeping their heads above water and I respect the shit out of them. They are not the object of my scorn so don't think me heartless. My scorn is well placed and well deserved. I could rant on this all night and have before in the past. This is almost 3 years old.

FAN: Liberal Hollywood Hypocrites

Alone in the house last night for the first time in more than a week, instead of watching a movie we decided to watch the Inauguration Concert on HBO. It was mildly entertaining but full of hypocrites. I just couldn't stop laughing at all the mentions of bringing the country together. We don't have red states or blue states, we have United States. Puke. My question to these folks is easy: Would you have performed at this function had John McCain won and you were invited? Would these same performers say the same rhetoric if a liberal wasn't in office? Hilarious. Perform. Congratulate your candidate. Gloat a little. But please, don't insult everyone's intelligence by pretending that since Obama won, the red state's interests will be given the same preferences and we'll all hold hands and sing "Michael Rowed The Boat Ashore".

Federal What? Teachers & Hospitals

If I just heard Barack Obama correctly in his infomercial, he said he was going to hire an army of teachers and raise current teacher's salaries. Hmmmm, I thought teachers were paid locally? I guess there are federal teachers. Then he talked about the money being spent in Iraq every month and asked a frenzied crowd if they knew how many schools and hospitals could be built here in the United States with that money. That is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. He's making it out like if the money wasn't being spent on the war, we'd be building hospitals with it. Excuse me? Again, does the federal government build hospitals in communities? If they do, I'm sorry I didn't know that. If they build schools, I'll say I'm sorry. If Obama saves the money in Iraq, he's going to spend it somewhere else, trust me. Maybe it will be spent on things you personally agree with and that's fine for you. I think it will be wasted, and that's my opinion, We'll see new social programs sprouting up like weeds in my garden. Say whatever you want to say, but please don't act like that money will be spent on things that it won't.

Wind, Solar and BioFuel

I am so sick of hearing this line. Obama is talking about it in his infomercial. McCain says it as well, as has every person that has run for the Presidency since I can remember. We need to get off foreign oil and get on wind, solar and bio. When is it going to happen? It's like Jerry Lewis curing Muscular Dystrophy. Talk about it for 40 years and accomplish nothing.

Obama, Smooth?

You know, I thought Barack Obama was supposed to be a smooth dynamic speaker. Well, he may be when delivering a speech that he has memorized and has delivered it 100 times before....but off the cuff at the first debate, I was shocked. He stammered and stuttered and sometimes sounded like a motorboat trying to start. I thought McCain was going to look old a feeble compared to the vibrant Obama but I couldn't have been more wrong. I saw McCain's speech at the convention and I cringed about what would happen come debate time. I cringe no more. I am voting for McCain as my political slider is more to the right than the left. The Bush administration got away from the core Republican beliefs that I tend to side with about taxes and spending. I triust McCain to bring that wagon back around, not Obama to add more spending to it. I always say to throw away the 20% fanatical ends of the political spectrum. That leaves 60% in the middle from 21 Left to 79 right with 50 in the middle. My gauge is pinned at about 67 these days. People like to talk about Palin's lack of experience because she's the governor of an "insignificant" state. Hmmmm, was Bill Clinton the governor of New York, Pennsylvania or California? I didn't think so....and he wasn't even the VP candidate.

Eight Houses

Of course hardly anyone is pointing out that the houses belong to his super rich wife technically. I would like to know how many she owned before she married him. The Wallstreet Journal says they are owned by her, but they don't say much more than that. These guys want to argue about who is more out of touch with the American people. They better be careful as now that they have brought it up, it's fair game to be used in reverse. John Kerry "owned" 5 homes totaling $33 million dollars when he ran. Same scenario - owned by Heinz technically. There is also a story circulating that in 2004, Joe Biden suggested to Kerry that he ask McCain to be his running mate! Yup! It's true. It was on Wikipedia under the heading 2004, but has since been relocated in the article, probably by Biden's people knowing how ridiculous it will look if Biden has to now tell us that he isn't right for the job. I'm not going to lose much sleep if Obama wins the election because in some aspect - you can't deny that it may go over better in some parts of the world. That being said, when I go over the checkboxes of what I believe in and what each party typically stands for, I still align myself with the GOP. Read about the Wikipedia entry here. Read the WSJ article here. I've said it before and I'll say it again - elections for me are mostly about picking the lesser of two evils. I'm not sure if I've ever been inspired by a candidate since I started voting. In fact, I have not. I just can't stand how skewed the national media is. I recently heard Jesse Ventura on The Howard Stern Show and Howard was egging him on to run for President. He makes a lot of sense. Then, near the end of the interview, he admitted he thinks there are a lot of 9-1-1 conspiracies and ended up sounding like a crazy person. He went from thought provoking and brutally honest to a coo-coo bird in about 2 seconds. Why can't Steve Forbes be more electable? We truly need a non-politician to step up.

Shut Your Pie Hole

Note to Barack Obama: If your wife is dumb enough to say something like “For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country” during a speech.....a public speech, you can't get all pissy pants if the Republicans want to use it in an ad. Like EASports says - If she's in the game, she's in the game. If she isn't out front giving speeches, then the press has nothing to go after. You can't drag her out there to talk and then call those wishing for her to explain her comments "slimy" and "low". I believe it was the great Tammy Wynette who said "If they're hungry too, they can't have their cake". (crickets) It wasn't? .......Oh. Well, he can't have it both ways. The second she goes out there to stump for him, she's able to be critiqued in my opinion. Stump. What a weird word to use like that. He's out stumping for his candidate. What on Earth is the origin of that? I have a feeling it's not because most politicians are "dumb as a stump". Al Gore was accused of being a little wooden (by the same folks saying OJ was a little guilty) but "stump" was being used way before Al. Maybe it's because when you pose a question that can't be answered - you "stumped" somebody...or "tricked" them....and when politicians deliver their stump speeches...they're "tricking" you. Is there wordepedia yet? Let me check wiki real fast, I'm getting tired. Well, I see that one meaning is what remains of a limb after an amputation. Nice. Stump speech is defined as such by Wikipedia: A political stump speech is a standard speech used by a politician running for office. The term derives from the custom in 19th century America for political candidates campaigning from town to town to stand upon a sawed off tree stump to deliver a standard speech. There you have it - I started to rag on Obama and ended strong with word origin of the day. Go in peace, serve seafood.

Logic Dictates

I need somebody to explain this to me. On one hand, Hilary Clinton's campaign is focusing very strongly on saying that Barack Obama does not have the proper experience to be President of the United States. On the other, she is going around saying together they would make a nice ticket, with him as the VP. Hmmmm. Usually, the criteria for being VP is that the person needs to be Presidential material. It's usually described as "one heart beat away from being President". If the man lacks the needed experience to answer that phone call at 3 AM - saying he should be VP is essentially admitting that logic is flawed. Speaking of experience, I also think it's a little more than naive to think the person sleeping with the President soaked up enough knowledge about the job to assume it's like she has eight years experience. Could Marilyn Monroe have run for President on that platform? Could Monica? Listen, put these two candidates in a steel cage match and let them hammer it out. Actually, she might win that fight. She scares me. Also, am I crazy or do you think Chelsea will also end up running in the future? The Bush family better get on the ball and produce another youngish candidate to oppose her. Billy?

Obama Ralphs After Reading News

Interesting. I guess some GOP'ers in high places finally convinced Ralph to run again this year. I love it that Hilary is getting bitchy about it, then admits "it is a free country". Now if McCain wins a close one, we'll have to hear about how old Ralph turned the tables. Good man, Ralph, see it through. Now the only thing that could make McCain even happier is if Obama wins the nomination and Hilary decides to run as the Green Party representative.

Carack Obannabis

Well, no guesswork needed here. Barack Obama wrote about his past drug use in his memoirs. Do I think it will hurt his chances? Nope. Not a single bit. Why do I even bring it up? Because I'd like every single person who tried to crucify Bush for alleged cocaine use to now do the same to Obama. Riiiiiight. That's what I thought. That's what sucks about politics. You have to be very careful when you play the "Gotcha!" game. The democrats had Bush as a "hard partying" kind of guy. Their spin on Obama? That due to his racial diversity, he was confused and had to figure things out. So, how do all the successful racially diverse Americans that didn't self medicate themselves take this? I would be insulted. They obviously didn't have to do cocaine to figure themselves out? They have Bush drunk off his ass at a frat party snorting coke and trying to get laid. Obama however climbed to the top of a mountain and did his coke so he could reflect on the meaning of life and how he fit into this cruel world. Awww. Gee Willackers, when you put it like that I guess it's ok. I thought he was hangin' with bitches and ho's listening to Rick James trying to get his groove on with the honeys. My bad. When the allegations came out against Bush - it was headline news for days. Not too many people are even aware of this issue with Obama. Why? The liberal media already covered it when he ran his first campaign so there is no need to bring it up again. Um, ok. I'm not passing judgement on anyone or suggesting that you can't be president in your 40's or 50's based on something you did 20 years earlier. All I'm asking for is equal treatment by the same news outlets that went after Bush during his presidential bid. Fox News should lead with this story for a week, maybe they already did, I try not to watch the news. If you want unbiased news, read The Economist.

PotAto, PatatO

Someone named "Obama" should have the same chance to be in power here as someone named "Buush" would have in the mid East.....None. I hate being reminded of Osama every time I hear Obama. He can run.....if he agrees to change his name to something like - Oh, I don't know - "Smith?" . Also, what's with his first name "Barack" rhyming with "Iraq". I'm starting to think there is a conspiracy here. You couldn't make something like this up could you? I only have 3 words for Mr. Obama: "Rudy, Rudy Rudy!". Giuliani is a much cooler name for a President. Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani III sounds like a character from the Sopranos. Rudy is the man for the job. Why? He's an outsider not already entangled in Washington politics. Plus, his name doesn't sound like "Iraq Osama". People vote for presidents for all types of reasons. People didn't vote for Gore because he seemed "too smart". Remember, the man did invent the Internet. We voted for Bush because it seemed like we could sit down and have a beer with him. When Gore realized he was losing votes because of this, he changed his image to stop wearing suits and he started rolling his sleeves up. He reminded me of Frasier on Cheers when he was first trying to fit in with the guys. Talk about sticking a square peg in a round hole. Gore just gave off that weird vibe. I get the same vibe from Edwards. No man is ever that happy. That is the damn creepiest smile I've ever seen. That's the kind of smile that sends the wife and 2.5 kids to bed behind the white picket fence and then gets online to check out the chat rooms for people with taser fetishes. Seriously, he looks like a cross between a used car salesman and a televangelist. Don't even get me started on Hillary. I'm not a fan of carpetbaggers and the only reason they settled where they did was to get her elected. She grew up a Cubs fan and allowed herself to be pimped out wearing a Yankees hat declaring that she needed an American League team. Hello? Ever hear of this team called the White Sox? Ugh! I can't stand the lot of them. Save us Rudy!