Do As I Say, Not As I Do

This is one of the best headline links I've ever read on Yahoo news "Britney Spears' mom to write book on parenting". Now, do I want to make fun of that, or did I just need a reason to post the hottest picture I could find of her? Hmm, let's call it a little of both. You could take the fun in a million different directions, but I think I'll go this way - here are some more parents that want to get a book on the market. Pee Wee Herman's mom is writing a book entitled "Everyone needs A Partner". Marion Jones' moms is currently writing "Cheaters Never Win". "Your Body Is Private" is for tweener girls written by Paris Hilton's mother. "The Dangers Of Driving Drunk" by Keifer Sutherland's mom will be hitting the shelves any day now. Alec Baldwin himself is writing a parenting book entitled "How to Talk to your Child Like An Adult". Not to be outdone, Kim Basinger is busy putting together "Your Child is not a Pawn in the Game of Divorce". Lindsey Lohan's mom is rushing to finish her first book called "Nothing Will Happen If You Let Your 12-year-old Have Wine With Dinner". Rosie O'Donnell's mom just completed "No Snacks 'Til After Dinner". Clay Aiken's mother is out marketing "Streisand Singing Sons Can Be Straight". Mrs. Vick recently completed "Evevry Boy Needs A Dog". Come on, add to the list.......

Nike Steals Paris Hilton's Slogan

In this video clip of Wayne Rooney displaying his deadly accuracy, Nike pulls a fast one on Paris Hilton by using her personal mantra and corporate slogan without her permission or knowledge. According to her lawyers, her "knowledge" isn't that broad in the first place. To put it in today's perspective, the average person has the mental capacity of an 8gb iPod Nano. Doctors, Lawyers, Surgeons and Software Engineers have the equivalent of a 30gb iPod for a brain. A genius would then be sporting an 80gb iPod for their gray matter. In contrast, political and sports pundits would use a 4gb iPod Nano. Politicians would use a 2gb iPod Nano. People who worship celebrities would have the 1gb iPod Nano while most celebrities themselves would have the 1gb iPod Shuffle (it's still the same capacity as the smallest Nano - but it's style over substance and it's really tiny). We asked Hilton's personal psychiatrist to equate Paris' mental capacity to an electronics gadget. When told that "Toaster" did not qualify as a gadget - the doctor needed more time to think but did come up with a valid answer: the original Texas Instruments LED calculator. He was quick to point out that the calculator analogous to Hilton's brain did not have a memory function, square roots or exponentials....just basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. He also asked for the purposes of this comparison if we could all pretend that the relic computational device only held 6 digits.....knowing full well that it really held eight. Anyway, after the nice man kicks the soccer ball (soccer? what the hell is soccer?) into the target, you will see the stolen Hilton slogan. It's what she tells most people that she meets. If you remember, Hilton tried unsuccessfully to sue Nike when they first used "Just Do It" as she claimed it was a blatant ripoff of her massively popular "Just Do Me" slogan at that time.