FAN: Torture

George W. Bush made his last speech tonight. I kind of feel bad for him. Why, you might ask? Why not keep the subject matter light and to football? Because I honestly believe some of the things he says. When he says he made unpopular decisions but kept terrorism out of the US for 7 years after 9-11, I applaud him. I don't care if you do or not. I do. I read another article on torture and it's effects coming from our side. It's interesting and hopefully fair. Consider if you will, if we didn't torture a few of those monsters and another attack happened on our soil. Can you imagine? IMAGINE? People blast the poor guy as it is - I can't imagine for a second what it would have been like if another commercial airliner went down in the middle of DisneyWorld at noon on a Saturday. Then the same people would have complained that he didn't do enough. Did the Iraq war create a front away from home? Yeah. Was it successful? Define successful. The article goes on to say that while no terrorist attacks happened here, they increased around the world. First of all, that number counts every roadside bomb used against our troops....so it's a bullshit number anyway. Second, maybe if those countries followed a more proactive plan and turned some screws, their numbers wouldn't have went up. Isn't that a fair question? Was Bush perfect? Hell no. Is Obama the second coming of Christ? Hell no. Change? Is that why the new cabinet is full of ex-lobbyists and Washington insiders? His main man was having hush-hush meetings with a Governor selling a Senate seat? C'mon. When you vote for a President, you're voting for the lessor of two evils most of the time. People say Obama inspires them. Why? I hope he inspires me. I'll give him a chance, but I don't inspire easy. I have a feeling his handlers are a lot more liberal than America knows.

FAN: Lame Duck My Ass

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing about President Bush being a "lame duck" President. I watched that clip of him on YouTube about 20 times and he's a damn good ducker. At minimum he's better than Lincoln and Kennedy. If he could duck questions like he ducks shoes, maybe his legacy wouldn't be tarnished. If anyone should be criticized here it's the Secret Service. How on Earth did this dude get off the second shoe? I mean, I'm sure he took it off prior to the incident, but how did he have time to throw both of them? Trust me, his feet probably smelled of salami. The dudes sitting around him had to know something was up. I am sick and tired of these Arabs messing up American shoe etiquette. First Richard Reid tried to take down a commercial flight by lighting his shoes and now this assclown tries to take out the President with his. Yet, it's ME who has to take off his shoes just to board a plane. I don't light mine. I don't throw mine. Mine don't stink.....yes ladies, I have about 200 miles on my newest pair of Asics Nebulus....and the only thing they smell like is new shoes. It must be a gift passed on to me from Still A Dad. Now, I can't say the same thing about my breath in the morning or my armpits after a day or two of not showering, but the feet.....they don't stink. There will be those of you reading this who know who I mean when I say Still A Belly. Still A Belly could take his shoes off sitting a good 10 feet away from you and within a minute, a cloud of disgust would envelope you into gagging. Seriously. If he happens to read this, I guess I'm off the Christmas Card list but that seems to be the trend this year anyway. It's the economy stupid! Well, either that or I continue to piss people off at a colossal rate. Either way, let's get back to the shoes. Were they steel toed? Were they slip-ons? Were they leather? Can I buy them on Pakastani Ebay yet? Will they be featured at The Smithsonian, or will they be featured at the Nunn Bush museum. Nunn Bush. Nunn Bush? Get it? You people have no sole. Ok, I'm a heel.

Wicky Wicky What?

Funny Bush Beatbox Edit.

There You Go Again...

Let me tell you something. If Ronald Reagan had been in office during Iran's little episode with the speedboats, Iran would have five less speedboats right now. I'm sure whatever group propagated this is now claiming some kind of victory because they have successfully taunted the infidels with no backlash. These people only understand one thing - violence. Ok, two things, body odor and violence. Wait, can those both be considered violence? Anyway, they are going to mess around with the bull and they should already know what comes next. The horns. It wouldn't surprise me if this little feat was some kind of test run to determine what our counter action would be. the next time they are probably going to plow straight into a ship just like The USS Cole and people are going to die. Bush should put it in writing right now - any speedboat coming within half a mile of one of our ships is going to become part of target practice. 'Nuff said. I'm sure tonight's "news" programs will suggest it was Dick Cheney and his cronies out there in the boats trying to make it look like we're being provoked.

What Can Pat Do?

I read this week that George Bush wants to stand Pat on his Iraq directives. I guess it's a good thing the US Military installed the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Good luck in Iraq, Pat, and God speed.

White House Party

I can't stop making these things. God help me. I haven't left the house all day. I'm trying to find a way for the software to pick up my cat's faces. What grouping will I come up with next? There isn't a good news story right now involving 4 people. I guess I'll have to wait.

If this starts up with the other one that is embedded on the page, simply pause one.

White House Jam

I'm going to try some cartoon characters next...or maybe Rosie O'Donnel and Rosanne....or, or, or.....

I Like To Fish

Yes, I voted for him...twice. <---- Click!

al Ka-Ka

I have a great uncle who used to use "ka ka" as a synonym for, well, "$hit". I would like to make a declaration that al-Qaida will now and forever be known as al Ka-Ka. After reading all the news clippings today and yesterday of how they are retooled and rebuilt, it really makes you wonder. I voted for President Bush twice and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Sure, he's not the best president in the history of the country but he's not the worst either. Anyone who tells you he is probably can't name 25 US Presidents, let alone tell you what they did in office. Right now, I think Bush and the Republicans are stuck between Iraq and a hard place (sorry). Why do I think that? Every time the administration tries to warn people about a terror alert - the liberals and media make fun of them and say they are trying to sway national attention away from something else or using fear to garner votes. If a spectacular attack would go off next week in this country - they will be blamed unmercifully - even after every warning gets brushed aside. They will say the war in Iraq caused it even though this can never be proved or disproved. If a democrat happens to win the presidency and THEN a terrorist attack happens on our shores, the complaint will be that Bush didn't do enough when he was in office to squash future threats and all he did was stir the pot. Basically, he's screwed if he tries to fight them now, he's screwed if they attack before he's out of office and he's screwed if they attack shortly after he's out of office. Like or dislike Bush - there is very little doubt in my mind that Gore or Kerry would have handled these situations better. Nothing is going to appease the fringe groups who are always going to be terrorists. Violence is the only thing they understand. If another attack happens, we find the area of the world where they trained and planned - whether it be a region, city or country - and we make it inhabitable by man for 100's of years. Get the picture?

Bush Commuting Libby

I read several article headlines today and saw many news clips about President Bush commuting Scooter Libby. A lot of folks seemed upset and complained that he shouldn't do it....especially liberals. Aren't liberals supposed to champion the environment? Why shouldn't President Bush stop by and pick up Scooter on his way to the office? It would allow them to use the car pool lane on the Beltway and catch up on things
while commuting Scooter to his new job. Bush has always been attacked for his stance on the environment and I think this is a step in the right direction. If this works out, maybe he'll rent a bigger car and swing by and pick up Rummy as well. He should really commute all of his friends that used to work for him. It's just like the liberal media to attack him for something and when he tries to do something about it - they attack him for that. The poor man just can't win.

Beating The Bush

Serious, this story is. Cindy Sheehan is "resigning" as the "face" of the anti-war movement. Good. At last count, only 17 people were showing up for her protests anyway. Speaking of "faces", Steel City Slant has uncovered the real reason behind the resignation. You know how they say roommates start to look like one another after living with each other for a long time or spending too much time together....spouses as well? Well, take a long long look at this picture, just in the face. Right there. Right there.....hold it. YES! Cindy Sheehan is so obsessed with George W. Bush that she is actually starting to look like him in the face! I don't care if it's not "prudent"...it's true! At the very least, she looks like Dana Carvey doing Bush the 41st. What a shame, all she thinks about is GWB and he could give a rat's ass about her. Good riddance. I think my feelings about her have been well expressed here in the past. Search the blog for Sheehan if you want to read them again.

Kerry Is The Joke

John Kerry is so anti-military he just made a complete sector of voters angry with him. In a speech to college students, he said - and i'm paraphrasing - "if you don't study and succeed in educating yourself, you'll end up in Iraq". Nice. So, he's basically calling our military stupid and saying it is a last resort if you can't cut it mentally in college. Wow. I bet the soldiers in Iraq appreciated hearing that. Not only are republicans calling for an apology, some democrats currently running for office have cancelled appearances with him. See, what happened here is classic truth telling. If you let someone yap long enough, their true feelings will come out. This is how he really feels about today's military. I'm not even sure I buy into the arguement of "who knows better about war than someone who served in one?". There are people that work at companies for 20 years yet could not even begin to run the same company...maybe not even manage a small portion of it. That's why I hate that logic. Donald Trump is a real estate tycoon. However, I guarantee you that he can run the IT company I work for better than anyone else that's been at the same company for 10-15 years. Hands down. Kerry tried to play this off as a joke. Sadly, he's the only joke surrounding this story.

Bab-bling Update

Wow. Geez, it almost sounds like I wrote this article.....

Babs Doesn't Get It

Check this out. She's free to have any opinion she wants. She's free to take out her full page newspaper ads and slam the current administration - it's her money. What she doesn't get about this is that people paid to hear her sing. Does she honestly think everyone in the audience is a Bush-hating liberal? Is she so clueless as to not realize how many Americans have no idea she is such a huge Democrat? Let's say a theater holds 5,000 people. Out of the 5K let's say only 20% are Republicans because most diehard GOP'ers wouldn't pay money to see her based solely on her strong, divisive political views. What huge balls she has to make fun of the president for that long at a concert knowing that maybe 1,000 aren't going to agree with her. Sure, if you pay to go see comedy, the president is going to get ragged on. This is different and her smart audience let her know it. Are you telling me for one second that if she paid $150 to go see Pavoratti, and he stopped the concert in the middle of the performance and brought out a Bill Clinton clone and verbally abused him and called him stupid for a prolonged period of time she wouldn't have been offended? She would have probably taken out a full page ad in the paper and railed against it. You know what I find offensive? That someone who hasn't made a decent - let alone relevant - movie, cd or show in YEARS still thinks people give a shit what she says. I just think she's so clueless she can't for one second comprehend that people may have a different opinion than her's. She's 10 years away from being Liz Taylor.

Impressed By Home Videos

This is superb. I think it's a bunch of Bush clips spliced together to create the lyrics to Sunday Bloody Sunday. Even if it's faked, it still sounds really good and it's entertaining. The networks should be afraid. There are far more creative people putting together 5 minute clips than are making network TV shows. They should be trolling YouTube looking for creative people.

Obi-Wan Bushobi

Check this cool video out <---- Click It!

Bush Will Not Rule Out Nuclear Strike

In other completely ludicrous statements that mean nothing: If faced with a choice of starving to death or eating his own horse...Bush will not rule out eating the horse. If wife Barbara fails to service him for 4 months straight and he's entertaining Selma Hayek out of town - Bush will not rule out trying to get in her pants. If Bush happens to fall off a 98-story building without a parachute or a trampoline in site - he will not rule out screaming "Oh, F*#% ME!!" several times on the way down. If Bush happens by a Taco Bell on the way to an important meeting and in a Clinton-like rage devours 3 bean burritos and a large diet coke - he will not rule out farting if he feels like it while in the meeting (he is the commander in chief, you know). Lastly, if some hell bent terrorist with avenues to nuclear weapons happens to mention that he might use them against the greatest country in the world - Bush will not rule out putting on a flight suit, hopping in the cockpit of a jet and dropping a MOAB himself on said terrorist's dwelling. He is not beating the war drum, he was answering a question honestly. What's he supposed to say? "No, we'd never resort to that"?

Bush Forces Olympic Committee to Add Winter Skeet - Sends Cheney

President George W. Bush today threatened "severe consequences" on Italy if the International Olympic Committee did not immediately add skeet shooting to the Winter Olympics. Skeet has been a staple of the Summer Games since the inception of shotguns, but sensing another gold medal is now within reach - Bush is trying to strongarm the committee to quickly add Skeet to the winter slate so longtime family friend and Vice President Dick Cheney can put his previously private skills to use for the better of the country. Cheney and his small entourage of 87 medical workers boarded Air Force 2 (Dubbed "Double Barrel" by Dubya) early this morning in anticipation of Bush's demand being met. When asked for a comment, President Bush exclaimed "Anyone that can stare down the barrel of a shotgun and blast pellets into one of his best friend's faces has the steely resolve necessary to compete at this level". Mr. Whittington who was shot by Vice President Cheney wanted to give a statement but could not because half his face was shot off. We'll try to get that comment for you just as quickly as Mr. Whittington's lips grow back. When told that he would be shooting at clay pigeons, Cheney reportedly asked "Clay is just the color of the birds, right? I mean, they're still going to bleed and die...RIGHT?"

Let it be known that Still A. Fan has never voted for a Democrat for President - but this story was just too damn funny to pass on.