Parenting 101

So we went out for a fun Saturday evening last night. We were going to see Martin Lawrence, Raven and Brenda Song in College Road Trip and we thought we'd grab a little Chinese before the show. We went to a pretty nice Chinese/Japanese place that we've never been to before. It's a little different because it's not your typical strip mall joint. It's a big place with a ton of seating and the chairs are all highbacks. When we walked in there was a big table of guests already eating - they must have had twenty people at their table. Lots of couples and young kids. For whatever reason, the parents thought it was Ok to simply allow their kids to walk around between the tables while they followed a few steps behind. Constantly. It was like you weren't normal at that table unless you allowed your kid to walk around the place. Everyone was yelling as well since the table was huge. Ugh. All I wanted to do was get my sushi on in peace. It seemed like they were a big group that hadn't seen each other in a while. After they were done eating, they decided to hang around so they could annoy everyone else some more. My wife noticed one of the little guys was standing on his highback holding onto the back. Nice. Well, before you knew it, there was a loud smacking sound followed by a wail and gasps. The gasps stopped pretty quickly and the loud conversation continued as the dad walked the screaming kid outside. He couldn't have been 15 months old. To the table, it was like someone dropped a fork. He hit hard. We all looked towards the sound before the crying started. What a bunch of idiots. Oh well. The movie was enjoyable as all three of us like Martin Lawrence. We love the Big Momma series and I (of course) love his filthy stand up material. Funny that the entire movie was about parenting. After the movie we went to the mall where a group of 14-16 year old girls were walking hand-in-hand screaming like they were at a highschool football game. Too bad their parents weren't with them. I gotta tell ya, I was a little sarcastic smartass who loved tweaking people and making people laugh and I don't think I ever once used my outside voice in the mall or any other inside place. You know why? Because I was conditioned not to. Sometimes it's not so bad going to the mall with your kids because there are some valuable lessons to learn.....like "when you're old enough to come here with your friends, I better never....NEVER.....hear of behavior like that from someone who sees you.....and we know a lot of people in our town!". That being said, she learned not to act like that eons ago.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

This is one of the best headline links I've ever read on Yahoo news "Britney Spears' mom to write book on parenting". Now, do I want to make fun of that, or did I just need a reason to post the hottest picture I could find of her? Hmm, let's call it a little of both. You could take the fun in a million different directions, but I think I'll go this way - here are some more parents that want to get a book on the market. Pee Wee Herman's mom is writing a book entitled "Everyone needs A Partner". Marion Jones' moms is currently writing "Cheaters Never Win". "Your Body Is Private" is for tweener girls written by Paris Hilton's mother. "The Dangers Of Driving Drunk" by Keifer Sutherland's mom will be hitting the shelves any day now. Alec Baldwin himself is writing a parenting book entitled "How to Talk to your Child Like An Adult". Not to be outdone, Kim Basinger is busy putting together "Your Child is not a Pawn in the Game of Divorce". Lindsey Lohan's mom is rushing to finish her first book called "Nothing Will Happen If You Let Your 12-year-old Have Wine With Dinner". Rosie O'Donnell's mom just completed "No Snacks 'Til After Dinner". Clay Aiken's mother is out marketing "Streisand Singing Sons Can Be Straight". Mrs. Vick recently completed "Evevry Boy Needs A Dog". Come on, add to the list.......

Oprah Should Suggest This Book!

Everybody that has a daughter has to cringe when they hear the horror stories coming out on news magazine type shows about how our kids keep getting more and more mature at an earlier age. I know I do. One of the biggest influences on our kids besides us parents are the other kids they hang around and spend time with. My wife and I are very picky about our daughter's friends and to this day, there are only a handful of families that we feel completely comfortable with when she is not with us. In a perfect world, if she is spending the day with a friend and another family, we'd like those parents to have the same parenting style and values that we have. The person who recommended this book to me is just such a person. Hopefully our daughters will still be close when they hit the teenage years because the lessons in this book are even more valuable then - and if they double date, I can rest assured knowing that we will be delivering the same type of speeches to the young lads who come knocking on our doors. I don't want to get into too much detail from the book. I already subscribed to a lot of the ideas that are presented and there are a few small items that I actually don't agree with 100%, but you don't have to agree with everything the author says to gain a lot of knowledge from the book. I starting reading this as soon as it was recommended to me and then halfway through, it got lost in the shuffle of the Christmas season. I recently "found" it again and finished it quickly as it's not very long at all. Anyway - the book gets my highest recommendation and it's nice to know that the dads I see the most (Chrissy Two Coats, Nova Joe, CC, 6-Mo, Doug E. Fresh & Add A Lot) have a lot of the same beliefs that I do.

Parents. Parents? Parents!

This sickens me to my core. Yes, a monster committed the crime, but where on earth were the parents? You DO NOT let a 5 year old go outside by herself and then go out to check on her 5 or 10 minutes later! I don't care that the yard was fenced in! It was chainlink! A fence is for a dog, not a child. You need to have your eyeballs on a 5 year old! My daughter will be 7 in 2 months and she isn't out of my site for 10 minutes at a time. This isn't 1975 (as much as I wish it was). This is 2006. I feel for these people for they will probably never forgive themselves - but if the dad is saying he went outside 5-10 minutes later to check on her...how long was it really? I hope the scumbag that did this gets the death penalty and I hope he gets bent over his cot on several occasions before he dies a horrible death. Freaking piece of shit. There better not be an insanity plea. You could really say anyone who wants to bring harm to a 5 year old is insane. Please let the world be rid of this worthless waste of breath. Don't let your kids have too much freedom at that age. You can't afford to in this day and age. Back in the day, I could ride my bike to little league practice 4 blocks away and then go to a friend's house to play 6 blocks away from the ball field. I didn't have to be home until the street lights came on. I wasn't 6 or 7 but I wasn't 12 either. I started to run the neighborhood when I was 9 or so. The thing is, I couldn't go anywhere and not have someone know me. My neighbors didn't change. Ever. I knew if I stepped out of line several blocks away - eyes were on me that knew my parents. Fast forward to 2006: I've lived in this house for 2 years now and I seriously don't know the first or last names of the people that live 2 doors away from me on either side of me! I don't know the name of the woman that lives across the street from me, but I say "Hi" all the time. You don't know your neighbors anymore. You might know some really well, but there are others right around you that you have no CLUE about. There is so much turnover these days in big city suburbs that it is unbelievable. This house was built in 1991 and we're the 3rd owner. Our first house was built in 1991 also and it has had 3 owners - as has the house right beside our first house. I would be willing to bet that out of the 120 or so houses in our little development, less than 10% are original owners. So, I guess if you live in a small town with little or no turnover - sure - let the kids go outside and play their hearts out because you know everyone and everyone knows your kid.....but if you live somewhere where "For Sale" signs are common or you live in a neighborhood where "thru traffic" passes through for the daily commute....you're a fool if you let your 5 year old go unattended for 10 minutes. F-O-O-L.