FAN: Baltimore Shitbirds - Caw

Funny. I was looking at recent searches that landed on the Slant and one was for "Baltimore Shitbirds". Superb. So, I went to Google and searched on "Baltimore Shitbirds" and Steel City Slant is the 3rd entry. If you put it in quotes, we're NUMBER ONE! Caw! Caw!

FAN: Ravens are Chicken of Steelers

While reading Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback, I was a little shocked to read this:

The NFL doesn't have great options for the Steelers for opening night, Sept. 10. San Diego, Green Bay and Tennessee are the best ones (the Ravens have requested not to be prime-time fodder for the Steelers for the fourth time in three years), and I'm hearing the Titans are favorite sons here. Roethlisberger-Collins. Young stud versus old. And don't forget the infamous towel-stomping incident -- I know the Steelers haven't. Good matchup if it happens. Very good. The football world approves.

The Ravens don't want any part of us in prime time. That's hilarious. What a lousy attitude. Ray does sort of resemble a chicken when the camera is on him and he's going through his very tired dramatic act. If he would have switched teams I bet he would have went to the NFC just so he'd only have to play us one more time in the next 4 years. Losers.

FAN: Steelers Super Again

I feel the need to pay tribute to Pittgirl tonight. I'm going to do my own version of What They're Really Thinking. I hope you enjoy. I don't have many things to say about the game other than there is nothing in the world as fun as beating the tar out of the hated Ravens. Nothing. Well, maybe sex....but this is a close second. I will try the humorous route and allow Stilladog to bring the real analysis. Enjoy.

Second Choice was "I need to drop a few pounds"

Second Choice was "Hi Mom, Told you I'd be easy to spot!"

Second Choice Was "Denzell ain't got shit on me"

Second Choice Was "Live Long and Prosper"

Doesn't Need Second Choice

Second Choice Was "Super Bowl means LESBIANS!"

Second Choice Was "The missing young man was last seen entering Heinz field around 5:00 PM EST on Sunday January 18th"

Second Choice was "Lower....Lower, Mitch.....Lower"

Dog: Quoth The Raven...Poe

People keep asking me, "Dog, you live among these idiots. Are these Baltimore Shitbird fans stupid or just delusional? They talk like they've won the Super Bowl already."

I say, "Do you know Edgar Allen Poe? The guy who authored The Raven, the piece of literature for which their team is named?" And I quote from the writings of Edgar Allen Poe himself, “Stupidity is a talent for misconception.”

This defense of theirs is based on false bravado. That's why they are always talking. Always woofing. Always making themselves sound tough. They have created a misconception for their fanbase, and the media as well. Those who are really tough don't have to say a word.

FAN: Where Did Ray Go?

Wow, just like last night, Ray Lewis disappears right before your eyes!

FAN: Another Close One

Have you ever seen worse punting coming from our guys? Not since Josh Miller drew the ire of Bill Cowher in his early years have our punters sucked so bad. What a game today. I expected to win and I knew it would be a close game but geez......my family thinks I'm crazy and the cats are afraid of me. I'm convinced even if they didn't rule the play a touchdown - Ben was going to sneak it the last inch on the next play.I don't even have many random musings. I think we had way too many drops. Had they not dropped so many passes in key situations, maybe that play is insignificant. Ben really took over in the 4th quarter. He's really learned how to win games. Another thing I'll say is that we need to use a little less clock in the normal flow of the game. Too many times we're snapping the ball on zero. That's fine with a decent lead but even then I'd rather be hiking the ball at 2, unless that's by design to go at 0 to reduce the effect of the crowd noise. Even though Sepulveda didn't set the world on fire last year - I can't wait for him to come back. He didn't have too many 28 yard punts when punting from his own 20. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of 4+ yard runs. Willie even popped off a few 7+ yarders. I can't wait to hear the Raven's fans complain about the call. When we give you the ball on the 15 and you can't put it in the endzone....don't blame the game on this one call. From the sideline view, I saw two feet down, two hands on the ball and a millimeter of the ball over the plane. Touchdown.

FAN: Colors

I'm going Christmas shopping tomorrow....by myself. Need to buy some stuff for the ladies in my life. Oh....and what shall I wear....hmmmmmm. I think it's a beautiful day to wear my jersey (Polamalu over Roethlisberger as I want to wear black). I think I'll top that off with my white beenie Steelers ski hat. Nothing worse for the Eagle, Redskin, Giant and Jets fans where I'm going. I won't see any Ravens fans though. I don't think there are any after getting 60 miles away from Baltimore. I'll Hi-Five all Yinzers identified through garb. I'll smile politley at all others not wearing purple.....and laugh at anyone with big blue stars....Sorry, Still A Boom!!

Slanted Stuff Santonio Holmes and Reefer

I get mad at dip-shits. Really mad. Dude, smoke all the pot you want, I don't care....just don't do it in your moving vehicle. Now we go into the Giants game, a yardstick game, without arguably our most explosive player. Nice. Why these guys do this, I have no idea. Stupidity I guess. I wonder if Santonio knows who Bam Morris is? he of trunk laden with reefer. Santonio has a trunk of another nature I guess. One only need Google images to get that joke. Dude, if you mess up you will be out of Pittsburgh......but then Dallas will sign you so I guess it doesn't matter.

Peyton manning had staph....ouch! That's what ended my favorite Steeler of All-Time's career....Greg Lloyd. Staph is nothing to mess around with. I think they should just cut off his leg.

The Ravens are a bunch of classless thugs. Classless. Class-less. Suggs used the word "bounty" in a radio interview. I can't wait until the next game. I guess they are fine with losing and "acting" tough.

Plaxbacks - I keep having them. Santonio should follow those stories as well.

Guest Post: Still A Dog on the Ravens

I am really under time stress these days. My "real" job is getting more involved as I asked to be on a high profile project and now it may be too "high profile". Winter swim started tonight and there is practice 4 nights a week and meets on the weekend. I'm trying to launch another website experiment to make money and I've promised a swim movie documentary for summer league and I'm way late with it. Doesn't help that I fried my motherboard the other night. Sigh. Anyway, without his permission, here is Still A Dog's take on the game from an email he sent me earlier today. I don't disagree with a single item.

Soon as Kendall Simmons left the game, the O-line improved. Or was that just a coincidence that around the same time Big Ben went no-huddle and took that f*-head Arians out of the play calling? Hoke did a nice job in for Fat Casey. Silverback is a BEAST especially on Monday Nights and especially against the Ravens. LaMarr Woodley is working his way into being a premier linebacker. What year are the Ravens going to learn that Hines Ward baits them into stupid penalties? He's been doing it for ten years now and they never seem to learn. Terrell Suggs was quoted in the paper this morning saying "They (Steelers) always seem to count on the Ravens doing something stupid." Bottom line: We got to dump Arians ASAP. At least do what the Browns had sense enough to do and take the play calling away from him. WTF? Johnny Unitas called his own plays, Bonehead Terry Bradshaw called his own plays, I think Ben is at a point where he should call our plays. Like I posted on the blog, go out to the Highland Park Zoo and grap a chimp out of his cage to call plays. Anything is better than that filthy c*cks*cker Arians.

Thanks Dog, very enlightening. Sorry I had to edit you a little.....

Steve McNair In The Hall...The Hall?

Jesus, SI.com had a slow news week. You'd think with the draft coming up, they could find a better story than talking about Steve McNair's chances of making it into the Hall of Fame. What? The Hall of Fame? You have to be elite for the better part of your career to be in the Hall. If not, then it's not The Hall. It would be The Hall of the better than average with one to three really good years sprinkled in. Come on! McNair? The Hall of Hearts.....maybe. Fame? No way. Not even close. Not even if he won a Super Bowl.....or two. All I remember is the Steelers killing him for years on end. When he came to Baltimore I was giddy. The Hall of Fame? Bradshaw, Unitas, Marino, Elway...McNair? McNo. What a waste of space. I vote that if the writers don't have anything to report about, go home and save the white space. It's pleasing to the eye.

Cowher: Ravens Shmavens

I read this last week and just remembered I wanted to bring it up. It's no big deal to hear Cowher's name mentioned when a vacancy needs to be filled - but numerous sources indicated the Ravens may have been wooing Bill's big new pearly whites while Billick was still employed. How rich is that? Billick must absolutely HATE the fact that his tormentor for all these years may have been offered his job while he was still thinking he was returning next year. Like Cowher would coach a division rival. I think he has too much respect for Dan Rooney to do that. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised and will go on record right now as saying I bet he ends up in the NFC in 2009. Just a gut feeling. Nothing that will ever be talked about, discussed or admitted - but somehow he will just end up in the NFC.

One Less Asshole

Hmmm, looks like I need to find a new "person in the NFL I hate most".

My Little Girl

Click Image For Larger View

Ok, so somebody turned 39 today. How sweet to return home from a football weekend to see this brilliant card. Forget everything else......focus in on "Ravens Stink!". Like father, like daughter! Also, note that we shouldn't confuse "The" Ravens with Disney's "That's So Raven". Cute!

Ravens Game Report

Wow. What a game. Still A Dog and I arrived around 1:00 PM after we stopped along the way to purchase ponchos. That turned out to be one of the smartest moves ever made, short of not bringing one from my house 300 miles away in the first place! We had fried fish sandwiches for lunch at The Oyster House, courtesy of The Dog who used to eat there while in school. We trolled around town until around 3:00 PM and then headed over to the game to meet the rest of our crew. It started to rain before we ever got there so we poncho'd up...but then it stopped again....so we deponcho'd. Some random thoughts from the game and I'll try to post pictures later as I'm having issues with my phone:

1. The place went nuts when Hank Williams Jr. was introduced to sing the banner. Nuts.

2. When they introduced special guest Bill Cowher, it was a good moment for me. He enjoyed seeing the players. The players certainly enjoyed seeing him. He was fired up. He was mock pushing players away trying to fire them up even more. What I did notice, though, was that a few "boo's" could be heard when they introduced him. All the man did was bring us respectability for almost his entire tenure. Like him or not, why "Boo" him on this special occasion? They were the "winningest" team in the NFL while he was there and lead the league in rushing and stopping the rush as well. At least give the man the respect he deserves.

3. Ben is playing out of his gourd right now. When he leaves the pocket, good things happen. When he stays in the pocket, good things happen. I'm glad they didn't give up on the run as well. Running against Baltimore is like running into a meat grinder (Dog Quote) but we can now win games and be impressive doing it when the run isn't clicking.

4. James Harrison - OMG! Tomlin said on the post game that he never coached a LB who had a better game than that. 'Nuff said.

5. Early in the game Ben could have easily ran for a 1st down on 3rd and short but decided to throw it instead....incomplete.

6. I'm guessing Willie didn't go for the corners as much because of the weather. Did you know it rained? :) Our seats were about 5 rows under the roof so we only got it when the wind blew hard.

7. On the 75th team:

A. Where was Lambert?
B. Since the game was a blowout, it would have been nice to bring out the current guys.
C. The crowd cheered for Faneca - not as much as some of the other guys. It got hard to keep up the intensity through 33 guys.
D. I think the crowd may have been louder for the Bus than for anyone else. I would say the other loudest cheers were for Ham, Greene, Swann, Stallworth, Franco and Bradshaw. The dynasty guys outshined everyone else.
E. Bennie Cunningham looks so much lighter!
F. I think it would have been special to bring out Myron Cope and I'm wondering why they didn't? What's wrong with the marketing department? I guess technically, he's not affiliated with the team?
G. I was so glad I got to cheer Gregg Lloyd one more time.
H. I already said I don't think Porter deserved to be on the team - but the fans voted him on and then they "boo'd" him last night (he wasn't there either). He got cut, he didn't leave. He also said very nice things about being selected and was proud and honored. Not sure he deserved to be "boo'd" on a night like this. If he doesn't sack Manning twice on successive plays - would we have even went to the Super Bowl in 2005?

8. What is wrong with people who can't sit still at games? I was on the aisle and I swear to God, some people are up and down the steps 5-6 times per game. I just don't get it. How you can go to the game and not pay attention is beyond me.

9. I had Beavis and Butthead sitting behind me last night for 3 quarters. These two drunk idiots were just screaming the entire game...stupid stuff. "Yeah, Baby". "Pittsburgh, Baby". "All day ,Baby". When they would tone it down to discuss football with other, it was obvious that combined, a pigeon knew more about the game. Then the language started and I was a little embarrassed for them and I can talk like a sailor with the best of them. I just don't go to public events and yell at the top of my lungs with women around "F&*# Baltimore Yinz Bitches". Their command of the English language was sad.

10. Why Why Why did they let Ben go back in after his hip pointer rolling right? STOOOOPID! Batch is one of the better backups in the league. It's 35-7. Relax!

I know I'm forgetting some things I wanted to point out, but I only got 4.5 hours of sleep last night after driving back to where I was staying in flurries from hell. I could barely see the road at some points! Will update this later tonight or tomorrow.

Did You Hear?

In case you didn't hear (that was dripping with sarcasm) the Colts are playing the Patriots this week. Blah Blah Blah. I'm so freaking sick and tired about hearing about these two teams and seeing Peyton & Tom's faces all over the promos. Every armchair quarterback is saying the winner of this game will win the Super Bowl. Give me a break. They very well may, but it's still the first week of November. Who on Earth would have picked the Steelers to win the Super Bowl in 2005 the week after Halloween? Isn't the team clicking on all eight cylinders at the end of the season the team that usually wins it all? Let's at least wait until the week after Thanksgiving before we start this kind of talk. Every stinking show about football and every pregame show thinks we care who they think will win the Super Bowl. Freaking Peter King started an MVP Watch sidebar in his weekly column several weeks ago...like week 3 or something. Ridiculous. Can we let the season unfold without all the idiots picking teams to win the Bowl already? Every year somebody gets smoked in the playoffs that isn't supposed to. Weren't the Colts supposed to destroy the Steelers in 2005? The Steelers physically manhandled them and made them look bad in doing it. "That's why they play the game" and "On any given Sunday" are two huge quotes concerning the NFL. Now, if you want to watch two teams bash each other's skulls in this week instead of watching the air attacks in the other game - watch the game that myself, Still A Dog & Still A South will be at. Watch The Pittsburgh Steelers try to extend their lead in the AFC North against the hated Baltimore Ravens. Let the talking heads talk and let those two teams listen to their own press clippings. Let their heads swell. Here we come, right under the radar. Watch out.

Billick Needs A Math Lesson

....and since I'm a math major, I'm just the guy to give it to him. I mean really - the man is so smug it makes me want to puke. This is a lesson that my 7 year old daughter could understand......on the first try. Here goes:

The Colts have a historically bad run defense. They give up an average of 173 yards per game on the ground. 173. That's not a typo. That's worst in the league this year and the worst average for a playoff team....EVER. The Ravens called 19 running plays. Let's repeat those facts. Colts = historically bad run defense. Ravens = 19 running plays. I might be able to understand that if they couldn't run the ball, but here are the numbers: Jamal Lewis had 13 for 53. That's 4 point something per carry. Mike Anderson was 4 for 18. That's 4.5 per carry. WHAT? I watched this game with Chrissy TwoCoats and we were BEGGING the Ravens to run the ball. WTF? They threw on first down more than the Colts did I think. At one point in the third quarter they ran on first down and got 8. Ran on second down and got 3. Damn, that was hard. Let's throw the ball! You beat the Colts by keeping Manning off the field. You need long, sustained drives if you want to beat them. Billick got so enamored with McNair that he decided to risk everything by getting cute. Listen, the Colts and Peyton Manning knew that Samari Rolle was the weak link on defense and they KILLED him. No Mercy. Right from the coin toss they went after him and it worked. If I was calling the offense for the Ravens, I would have taken a drive early in the game and not thrown one pass until they force me to punt. The Ravens (and as a Steeler fan I hate to say this) are an attitude team. Running the ball is an attitude. Billick is a moron. McNair is not Peyton Manning. They are two different QBs out of two different molds. McNair is just the glue that holds the team together. He's a manager type. He wins with toughness, not his arm. I really had no vested interest in this game. I hate the Ravens but I'm equally sick of seeing Manning's face as the face of the NFL. The Ravens at least play Steeler football. Had they come out with the game plan they used against us in the first meeting this year - they would have had a much better chance of winning this game. Oh, and maybe more stupid than Billick not running was Andy Reid giving the ball back to the Saints last night with two timeouts and less than 3 minutes on the clock. On 3rd and 10 I'm already assuming it's 4 down territory and just trying to get 6-7 yards to keep them guessing on 4th down. Two coaches that are supposed to be smart making HUGE mistakes last night.....but what do I know?

New Sunday Soap Opera

"But, But, But what if they catch us?" "Don't worry, Love - a love as strong as ours can never be broken." "But if they find out, we're ruined....ruined I say" "They won't...LOOK AT ME.....they won't. I'll make sure of it. Haven't I always protected you in the past?" "Yes, but this time it's different. I can feel Ray looking at me naked in the shower. I can sense his telling nod means only that he too, would like to press his flesh against mine. His eyes, Oh damn his longing eyes. Can you feel them as well?" "Not only can I feel them, I have felt them, on me, heavy like weights....heavy like the weights of one thousand anchors out in the harbor. I too, spend time wondering about the gentle side of Ray, and what could only be if we didn't have to keep up this, this, this ACT ." "Then it is decided....we shall wait for Ray, until the time is right, and we will continue to suffer with only each other......and master." "Yes, oh yes, darling - then it will remain just you and I ...and coach Billick - until Ray is ready to take the next step and finally join us."

Tune in tomorrow to see........

Will the kicker get the tight end?

Who will make a pass at whom?

Can Coach Billick juggle three lovers?

Will Ray shed his rough exterior like he sheds blockers?

Will Jamal Lewis redecorate the lockers?

All, On the next.....Not Young And The Ravens