FAN: PETA Out Of Control

I hate PETA. Hate. Is there a stronger word than HATE? Loath? Anyway, you can almost give them a pass about baby seals and a good clubbing or things of that nature. I am an animal lover but I'm also a meat eater. If the cow has to die for me to eat a rare steak, the method is rather arbitrary to me. So, now that we all understand that point, I can even kind of understand them getting upset at how cows and pigs may be put to plate. Chickens? Come on. Chickens? Chickens are like....like.....chickens. String them to a wire hooked to a battery and spray them with water. One chicken that's a family egg layer might be something special to someone. A pen with 10,000 chickens in it is food for mass consumption and you have to look at it as such. They are nothing but a number. Ok, so now we know where I stand on that. Lobsters? Wait...are you kidding me? Lobsters? PETA please. Lobsters? I thought a Lobster was half a step above an insect? Lobsters? If PETA would stick to puppy mills and shit like that I wouldn't have such an issue with them. Lobsters? And Ok, Holmes was old, but why just free him? Hell, his life is almost over....free one of the young ones! They probably put him in the harbor and he was dead within a day. When you think of all the wasted hours of energy that PETA puts forth, you wonder how much good could be done in the world with it. Go be a big brother or big sister to some young kids in homes who need direction. See? I'm not heartless, just practical. Throwing red paint on a jacket made of rabbit and trying to save a lobster. Whew. I'm glad that makes them sleep better at night.

The Wild 1, Humans 1

Two stories caught my eye this morning as I browsed the news. They both contain animals not in the news that often. The first is Winkie, an elephant. Seems Winkie doesn't like the direction her life has taken. She used to be a performance elephant and now she's still in captivity....in Tennessee. Winkie has a history of being naughty to humans. Gee, I wonder why? Now don't get me wrong - I'm not a PETA supporter. All I'm saying is this beast has never lived a day of it's life the way it was intended to be lead, that's all. I can understand. It's like the Doctor that blew up his building in New York. I don't agree with the method....but I understand why he did it. Every once in a while we get tired of "The Man" telling us what to do. If you have any kind of backbone at all, you push back a little. Maybe Winkie decided "You know what, I'm sick to death of eating hay all day. Get me some peanuts, bitch". Do we know what really happened? No. Maybe the caretaker was having a bad day and did something to annoy Winkie? Someone will probably have Winkie's head on a wall by the end of the week. I sympathize with the trainer's family but if elephants were supposed to be in Tennessee, then they would be native to Tennessee. How pissed off would a PA black bear be if we dropped him in the middle of Africa and poked and prodded him all day? And speaking of bears.....read this. This bear is minding his own business in the woods, and takes a nibble of a boy's arm. He knows instantly it's not his normal diet and he lets go and runs away. Later the next day, the camp is cooking ribs and the bear comes back because it's smells cooked flesh! For this, it gets SHOT. First of all, how on earth do they know it's the same bear? It was dark and the kid was in a tent! So, if you go out in the middle of the woods and cook food and attract a bear - shoot it! That will solve everything. Maybe when bear hunting comes into season....you should just shoot a cow in the head...put it over an open flame and wait. Shoot anything that comes to check it out! Listen, I'm from western PA and I have no problems with the NRA. If I had $1,000,000 to give and it had to be the NRA or PETA, there would be a lot of happy hunters out there. Hunting and tracking take skill and precision. I'm not impressed however when someone builds a tree stand right by a path leading to a cornfield. A hungry bear smells meat and goes to it and gets shot. Almost makes me feel bad for the bear. It's also an ironic twist - aren't the Boy Scouts supposed to be about protecting and respecting nature?

PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals

This lady is a clown. Why on Earth do people who are hard core vegetarians feel like they have to shove their beliefs down our throats. There's no room in my throat for her beliefs because it's full of tasty rare London Broil. Does she care about Shrimp? Were they suffering from lack of freedom? I'm going to imagine for a second that Still A Dog wrote a letter to the local paper. It would go something like this:

Dear Sir,

Goddamn I love me some steak. This Fourth of July, I'm going to smoke a ham. I might leave the head on it. I want it to see who the boss is. While the ham is smoking, I think I'll throw some filets on the grill. I like them real tender - from young cows. Mmmmm...filet. For dessert, I'm having pork chops smothered in BBQ sauce. I might add a shot of Johnny Walker to the BBQ sauce and some liquid smoke. I think everyone should celebrate the Fourth of July the same way as me - by grilling the shit out of some tasty stupid animals that were put on this planet to nourish my body. Was Jesus a vegetarian? I like to do what Jesus did. I like to drink wine, attempt to walk on water.....have fish fries.....get drunk and get some hookers...... what? you don't think Christ Almighty has a sense of humor? He must....he put that dumb PETA bitch on the planet and gave her the right to write her stupid letter. I bet she's ugly, too. I bet she has bad hair, skinny, pale.....sickly...boys don't like her....can't get a date..... Shit, in the words of the great Ron White "Man did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots". The End. Well, I bet Still A Dog could write a better letter than that - but right now he's out getting hammered at the Blues Festival.