FAN: De Niro Owes Me Some Dinero

I love a few Robert DeNiro movies. Love them. Goodfellas is one of my all-time favorites. I liked Casino a lot as well. Deer Hunter, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, the list goes on and on. Notice anything about the list? That's right, they're all over 12 years old. Meet The Parents was good and it's 9 years old as well. It may be time for Bobby to fade away. If you look at his recent list on IMDB, it's pretty lame. I got all exctied when I heard about Righteous Kill with Al Pacino. It would be their first pairing since Heat where they barely shared the screen if I remember correctly. Well, I laid out $6 for the HD version of Righteous Kill last night on On Demand and while it didn't suck, it was far from good. I had it figured out well before the reveal. Even the scenes at the end that maybe would have been brilliant 15 years ago - looked like they were simply mailed in. In fact, I got angry at some scenes wondering why the acting wasn't better. Maybe the lines just weren't there, but I wasn't feeling this movie at all. Carla Gugino is nice to look at, but how believable is it that a 66 year-old guy would be banging a hot 37 year-old? Hollywood cracks me up. Maybe if the guy was loaded, but he's a cop.

We Ain't Scared Of No Voldemort

My daughter and I went to see Harry Potter and the Order Of the Phoenix tonight. What a cool flick! While some kids may be afraid of He Whose Name We Will Not Say, we just laugh at him. I've kind of equated him to Dr. Drakken of Kim Possible fame in her mind. I did jump really good once during the movie and she laughed at me! Harry and his cousin were running home from a storm when two Dementors showed up quite unexpectedly. I liked Dumbledore going off at the end and to me it looked much more realistic than when George Lucas had Yoda go off in a similar manner. Think about this....if Voldemort is one of the most powerful wizards ever - why doesn't he conjure up some better dental work? Seriously! Dude has the teeth of either a hillbilly or a Brit....take your pick.....um, water pic that is!

The Jury Is In, Judge - You Suck

Let me go on record as saying I loved "Fast Times At Ridgemont High". It was the precursor to such films, or should I say movies, as "The Breakfast Club", "Sixteen Candles", "Pretty In Pink" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". It was an important movie for more reasons than just launching Sean Penn into stardom. Why am I bringing this up? Because I took my daughter to see "The Santa Clause III, The Escape Clause" this past weekend and it's downright embarrassing how bad Judge Reinhold is in it. At least 12 years ago when he did the first one he played the part well. He was his normal character in that one....a little whiney...spineless...uber-nice touchy, feely, Mr. Sensitive type of guy...you get the picture. In the follow-up he was bad and in this one, I find it hard to believe that he'll ever be in another movie that makes this much money. Of course he can sit around and think he has something to do with it if he wants to, but people are paying money because A. it's a Santa movie and it's almost Christmas and B. Tim Allen is still entertaining to some adults. They didn't even need this character in the movie to make it work - they could have just written him out or something - but he must have pictures on the director or producer....or on Tim Allen himself from partying with them 12 years ago making the original. I'm usually not one to bash a guy's entire career and you can't bash Judge from '81 to '87 as he was in "Stripes" (minor role), "Fast Times", Gremlins, Beverly Hills Cop, Ruthless People and Cop II. I remember him being very good in Cop I and Ruthless People. What the heck happened after that? He has been swimming in mediocrity ever since. Maybe it's time to buy a nice house somewhere and just disappear from Hollywood. I told my wife on the way home that it wouldn't be long before Judge starts showing up on reality shows. When I IMDB'd him to make sure I wasn't missing a few things, I realized just how bad it's been since 1987. With the exception of Cop III which missed big-time and playing the "Close-Talker" on Seinfeld twice, he's been reduced to terrible movies that I've never heard of (and I'm a movie buff) taking over for Charles Grodin in Beethoven's 3rd and 4th. Grodin is no star and even HE turned down the chance to appear in the lame-ass sequels to the sequel. Hey, our C list actor who is still living off of "Midnight Run" doesn't want to make this movie...who can we call now....JUDGE REINHOLD! Again, I hate to rip him since he was cool and did the Clerks cartoon for my biggest movie guy of all time, Kevin Smith - but I would rather him scale back his lifestyle than make a mockery of himself making these absolutely terrible films. I hear his schedule is full though as he's going to play the bad master in Karate Kid V, the new mayor in Jaws V and the new chief in Police Academy 8 (yes 8! there were 6 and then Mission To Moscow...IMDB rules!). Wow, what a perfect segue to talk about Steve Guttenberg....who is lower on the Hollywood totempole than Mr. Reinhold. Maybe his collection of work isn't that bad after all. Wouldn't it be fnny to have an awards show with nothing but career B,C celebrities?

George Lucas Just Wasted Another 2.5 Hours Of My Life

As much as I loved the first Star Wars trilogy, I have to be honest and say I hated the latest trilogy. I just finished watching Revenge of the Sith on HBO this morning and I was so disappointed I can't even articulate it. I say finished because I started watching it last night at 11:00 pm but I was so disinterested I went to sleep at 12:15 knowing I could catch the ending later. The acting is atrocious. The dialogue is terrible (as always) and special effects have advanced so much since 1976 it's hard to impress anyone anymore. A cheaply made movie on TV can have the same effects that a Lucas movie has. I read a rumor a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away that said Star Wars may come to TV and Kevin Smith may "own" the project. That would certainly restore some luster for me. Two of my favorite franchises working together. Maybe 5 years from now when everyone's disappointment fades Lucas could hire Kevin Smith to write and direct the last 3 chapters of the saga. I can't even go into details about everything I didn't like about this movie as it would take the rest of the day. All I can say in a nutshell is that it was totally uninspired. The only lines delivered in the entire film that I believed to be real were the lines Obi Wan screamed at Vader as he lay dying. Samuel L. Jackson should be ashamed to even be associated with this group of actors. He is the lone "real" actor in my opinion - much like Liam Neeson in the last two. It's still hard for me to see Samuel L. Jackson die without calling someone a "mother-hubbard". Egad.....I watched Nanny McPhee with my daughter last night and if you held a gun to my head and forced me to watch either of them again....I'd choose Nanny McPhee. That's pretty sad coming from someone who slept on Star Wars sheets, collected the action figures, cards, models, posters and everything else until a few years after Return of the Jedi debuted. It's a sad day in the galaxy. Save us Kevin Smith....

Ice Age 2: The Letdown

I'm a huge fan of the movie, Ice Age. It had a great story, a great mix of characters and some very memorable lines: "hey - lord of the fire, your tail's on fire", "where's the baby, where's the baby...THERE he is". I've seen it countless times which means it passes my test as a good movie. If my daughter wants to watch a movie that I don't care for, I reach for a book or the laptop. If she chooses one that holds up after several viewings....I'm all in. We went to see Ice Age 2: The Meltdown today and even though I had a few good belly laughs, it just wasn't the same. It really had the feel of a story that didn't need to be told. I don't want to spoil the plot for anyone, so I'll just say most of the belly laughs were from physical comedy....not the dialogue. It was missing the creativity of the DoDo birds in the original and the educated humor "hey, let's play extinction", "KIDS, get OUT of that tar pit". Here it is 2 hours after I've seen the movie and I can't think of one memorable line from part 2. Oh well, it rained here today so it was a good afternoon to unwind at the movies. I like to see movies when they first come out and the theater is crowded. The kids in attendance sure enjoyed it - lots of laughing, but like I said - it was mostly at Sid getting hit in the head and Scrat trying to get the acorn.