Bryant Gumble = Smart Guy

Oh, this is rich. Watching the Packers play the Cowboys tonight gave me a good laugh. First of all, the hoopla surrounding another regular season game is crazy. They had a countdown to kickoff when I turned the game on at 8:00 PM. They were trying to make it out to be a mini playoff game. Mr. NFL Network, Rich Eisen, claimed that the winner of the game would "virtually be playing every playoff game at home up till the Super Bowl". If they are both 10-1 and this is the 12th game, there are still 4 weeks left. The winner of this game could easily go 2-2 couldn't they? To say "virtually" there is very misleading. Anyway, on to Bryant. Gumbel looks at Collinsworth leading up to kickoff and says "Cris, the Packers are near the top of the league in passing and dead last in running, how are they getting it done?"

I swear I heard crickets.

Collinsworth: "umm, with their passing game."

What else is he supposed to say????????? So, here's the best part. I think every time I've mentioned Bryant Gumbel on this site - I've made a comment about him being more white than half of my friends. I searched Google images to find a recent picture of him to use here and the one I posted is from HBO's site (my lawyer says to put here that I'll take the photo down if HBO requests it). When I right-clicked on the picture to save it, the name of the image came up:

bryant_gumbel_white_bg

No kidding!!! Bryant Gumbel White Black Guy!!!! Oh, that means white background? Crap. White Black Guy is much funnier.

Gumbel Doesn't Do It For Me

I'm not sure America's whitest black man should be doing NFL games for the NFL Network. Bryant Gumbel is good at some things. His intelligent and thoughtful voice is best left sometimes to what I call "quasi-news". He is good on his HBO show about peripheral sports stories and he was OK I guess on the national morning show he did for so many years. That's what he does. When I think of him as an announcer, I think the best job for him is the fluff pieces they do on the athletes for the Olympics. That's vastly different from calling a football game. Two examples of this stuck out like a sore thumb to me last night. The first was when he was telling the story of how the Browns' QB's wife got initiated so to speak into the spouse's club last week when he was called to duty in the middle of the game due to Charlie Frye getting hurt. Gumbel said something that made me cringe and he not only said it once, he said it twice! He started this gem off by saying "I heard a cute story.......". Collinsworth broke in to say something about the action on the field and then Bryant started again "I heard a cute story....". Listen, all over America there are guys...big guys....big manly man guys.....sitting in recliners eating potato chips and drinking bad beer that are waiting to hear something intelligent about what the offense is trying to do to the defense and what the defense is doing to try to stop it. We don't want to hear a Bryant Gumbel "cute" story about the QB's wife up in the stands. If you do have to tell it, please don't start it off in that whiny voice like you're talking to three old ladies over tea. Bryant is a poser in this regard and he does it all the time on his HBO show. When he wants to ask a question and add emphasis, he'll take off his glasses and put one of the arms in his mouth or something. I think he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. He crosses his arms....furrows his brow. He's almost like a Ron Burgandy caricature sometimes. The second thing he said that made me laugh was his use of the word "attitudinally". Remember the big guy in the chair drinking beer? He doesn't like his football announcers asking single worded questions while overemphasizing the raising of their voice pitch at the end of the word to that of a 12-year-old boy that just got hit in the nuts while playing dodge ball. That's why John Madden is still on TV and not Dennis Miller. He asked the question in reference to Bill Cowher's mindset. "Attitudinally?". Wow. What a tool.