The CDC announced today that a foolproof method has been found to thwart Swine Flu, the dreaded H1N1 virus. Limas Sweed has been kidnapped and is being held 3 stories underground at CDC headquarters. Sweed's DNA is being taken and used against his will in a vaccine that will stop everyone from catching everything. Sweed hasn't been sick since he was 7 months old and projectile vomited his formula. He can't hold anything either. He can't catch a cold, a break or a cab. He can't hold a hand. He can't carry a tune. William Gay was mock rocking a baby? Please God don't give that baby to Limas Sweed because it will have a massive head injury within eight minutes after he drops it. You know why he's skinny, right? He drops his food. He drops weight. He drops trou... He can't hold his liquor. I think Heinz is commemorating a Bobblehead of Sweed for next home game. Don't give one to Limas, he'll drop it. This is too easy, I could do it all day. Ladies and Gentlemen....I think Ike Taylor was happy the day we drafted Limas....he knew he no longer had the worst hands on the team. Limas Sweed can't even sleep on a cot. Mother Hubbard rolls right off.
3 comments:
People have been defending Sweed by saying he has a knack for getting open.
Well, no shit Dick Tracey! If there was a guy I knew couldn't catch the ball I wouldn't put any defenders on him either!!!
It's like playing neighborhood pickup football. And there's the one littlest kid who A)you know they ain't going to throw the ball to, and B)even if they do he isn't going to catch it. So you double team one of the big guys.
Sweed is the little guy. And I hope he is not thrown to any time soon. Shaun McDonald, come on down!!
Yeah I've heard people defending Sweed too. Not me. One huge drop at a key time in the Baltimore game last year, okay - I'll let it slide he was a rookie - but two? No way. There is absolutely no excuse for him not making that catch Sunday. None. He makes it, we win. Simple as that. I want him cut. Now. That being said our defense has looked pathetic two weeks in row at the end of the game and that's why we lost both games. On the other hand Mike Wallace is a future superstar! We got ourselves a winner there. Any chance we'll bring Redman up?
Not sure I'm ready to cut Lame-ass Sweed just yet. First move is probably what Tomlin will do and that's make him inactive for game day and put Shaun Mc Donald on the game day roster instead. At least McDonald can catch the ball.
I don't think they'll bring Redman up unless Frank The Tank goes on IR with his back. They signed Carey Davis back to the team yesterday so that tells me all I need to know about Redman coming off the practice squad.
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