Bryant Gumble = Smart Guy

Oh, this is rich. Watching the Packers play the Cowboys tonight gave me a good laugh. First of all, the hoopla surrounding another regular season game is crazy. They had a countdown to kickoff when I turned the game on at 8:00 PM. They were trying to make it out to be a mini playoff game. Mr. NFL Network, Rich Eisen, claimed that the winner of the game would "virtually be playing every playoff game at home up till the Super Bowl". If they are both 10-1 and this is the 12th game, there are still 4 weeks left. The winner of this game could easily go 2-2 couldn't they? To say "virtually" there is very misleading. Anyway, on to Bryant. Gumbel looks at Collinsworth leading up to kickoff and says "Cris, the Packers are near the top of the league in passing and dead last in running, how are they getting it done?"

I swear I heard crickets.

Collinsworth: "umm, with their passing game."

What else is he supposed to say????????? So, here's the best part. I think every time I've mentioned Bryant Gumbel on this site - I've made a comment about him being more white than half of my friends. I searched Google images to find a recent picture of him to use here and the one I posted is from HBO's site (my lawyer says to put here that I'll take the photo down if HBO requests it). When I right-clicked on the picture to save it, the name of the image came up:

bryant_gumbel_white_bg

No kidding!!! Bryant Gumbel White Black Guy!!!! Oh, that means white background? Crap. White Black Guy is much funnier.

Hilarious Corporate Memo

You know you work at a large company when you get corporate emails every morning. The one we received this morning made me laugh out loud for several minutes. I had people on the floor rolling with my mockery of the memo. It started innocent enough - letting you know that you could not have a real Christmas tree in your area, remember to turn out Christmas lights if you put any up in your area, etc. Further down the bulleted list, I found this gem (and no, I'm not making this up).

"Click here to see how you can ensure your work area is free from any danger zones or who to call if you spill coffee or other liquids in the building..."

So, am I to assume that if I knock my Diet Coke off my desk tomorrow morning, instead of going to the men's room to get paper towels and returning to clean it up myself.....I should instead click on the above link and - what? "Don't touch it sir, we'll be right up!!!!". Lights will blink, sirens will wail.... three guys in hazmat suits will show up with a Shop-Vac 11 minutes later to evacuate the premises and proceed with their soda remediation. Good Grief. Who writes these things? Seriously? Is the list almost together and the author walks out and gathers a few colleagues around and says "I feel this is missing something....but what?" The list is looked over by everyone and nobody adds anything, until Bert takes a look. Bert is a grizzled veteran of large company stupid corporate announcements. "You missed one, kid" he bellows as he takes the list from the group and gives it the once over. "Nobody knows what this list is missing?" he snarled. "Your ineptitude sickens me. Harrelson, don't you remember what happened in December 1978?" Silence. "Damnit people! Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it! Beverage spills! You completely forgot the procedure for beverage spills! And mention "coffee" by name. You know how many carpets are ruined by average Joe's trying to clean up their own coffee spills? That's right, hang your heads. Hang them....... Jessica, get the required verbiage on there and get this out. Ok people, back to work - BACK TO WORK - we're done here."

Word.

Brilliant article. The best I've read on Sean Taylor's murder to this point. Thanks, Still A Dog.

Another by PTI's Mike Wilbon.

I'm Bringin' Silver Back

As requested by Still A Dog (and rightly so), here is the link to Pro Bowl voting. James Harrison is listed for Outside Linebackers. Let's get him in. Spread the link!

Soaked

I live close to 300 miles outside of Pittsburgh. Everyone knows I'm a die hard fan. You wouldn't believe the amount of email and questions I received at work today about the field. True, it was bad and I said during the game it was an embarrassment, but there were legitimate reasons for the conditions. If you know the reasons, you can accept them and still make fun of the field. However, if you don't bother to find out why the field was like that - educate yourself before you open your pie hole. I felt like dropping the 6th person who asked me today about the field with a swift right cross. It seems like most people who talked about it today had no idea about the use this weekend and the fact that it was the first complete resodding (is that a word?) in 7 years. So, there I am ragging on it last night, and then I felt defensive today with a bunch of Iggles, Giants and Redskins fans ragging on it. It's like teasing the loser in your crew. You can tease him. Your boys can tease him. But if somebody outside the group takes a shot at him - it's hat turnin' around time. I think right now...in the bowels of Heinz Field...Art Rooney II is standing over the head grounds keeper with 2 very large executioner type guys with pillow cases on their heads with cut eye holes holding clubs and maces standing behind him saying something like "so guys, the field will be ready for next week's nationally televised game.....right?"

Good Gravy

I am so embarrassed about the condition of Heinz Field tonight. Doesn't it rain in other cities? Why is our field always one of the worst in the NFL? It's a brand new stadium. I understand Pitt plays 5 games there. I just can't figure out why they can't get it right.

The second quarter is only half over and I've now seen the Peyton Manning Sony commercial 3 times. T-H-R-E-E times. You know what Peyton...I use it to hit the Mute button.

Why is Larry Foote doing Joey's kick after tackles? Shouldn't they be boys?

I don't think we're going to learn anything about our team tonight, win or lose. The field is so bad, it's like they're playing on skates and the field is made of marbles.

My Friends At CitiBank

I had the family out for Thanksgiving and let the mail accumulate over the weekend. Today when I went through it, there were two pieces of mail from CitiBank, the corporate giant that recently purchased my mortgage. Not knowing if one was the bill was or not, I opened each instead of tearing them up because they looked like junk mail. The first was an offer to save me roughly $60,000 by having me send mortgage payments every 2 weeks instead of monthly. Well, isn't that nice? They note that it will help me pay off my mortgage 5 years faster than only sending in money every month. The idea is that you actually send in the equivalent of 13 monthly payments over 52 weeks. Hey, that's nice of them, they want me to pay off my mortgage early. That's OK, I'd rather not do it their way. I'll send in extra every time I make a payment as opposed to being locked into making their scheduled payments. Ok, let's see what's in envelope number two. Hmmm, they want me to be able to pay all my bills and they have a way to save me $300-$500 a month. How? By extending my mortgage out to 40 years. Yes, I'm serious. How can the mortgage industry approve of this? Do you know what this is going to lead to? Much like people driving around in cars they really can't afford, this is just going to allow people to buy more house, even those who can't afford it. Hopefully the rule will be that you have to qualify for a 30-year mortgage, pay for it for a few years, and then you will be allowed to convert it to 40 if you want. Maybe they need a better CRM product that won't market to me to both shorten and prolong my mortgage at the same time. Idiots.

Patriots: Beatable

No, that picture isn't a sighting of the elusive Bigfoot. It is however, a sighting of some sorts. The Patriots are now in sight for every team left on it's schedule. If you listened to the talking heads leading up to the Eagles game last night, they had no shot, no chance in the world to win. Peter King is the one leading the trumpets. You may as well not even play the games - to him, it's not about who will beat them, just about who will give them a good game. Everyone laughed last night and basically called the game an exhibition. To Costas and smarmy Olbermann, the "exhibition season continues tonight....". All the sports writers are trying to outdo themselves with superlatives when talking about the Pats. It's insane. Can we stop the nonsense now? This is the NFL. On any given Sunday, somebody that was supposed to win, loses. I know they're good, Chrissy Twocoats, and they are playing better than any team in the league so far this season....but I'm not ready to crown them SB champs yet let alone the best team that ever stepped onto the field. The injury bug has bitten the Colts, could the Pats be next? They barely beat a team with a losing record, my God, the league has never seen a team like this before! Give me a break.....and I don't care if it's Tom's leg or Randy's.

Unstoppable

I swear while I was watching the Patriots play the Eagles tonight...during the first quarter there was a commercial featuring Eli Manning with the tag line "Unstoppable". Ummmm, hey Eli, even your Dork brother doesn't do commercials where they call him things like, oh, I don't know..."Unstoppable" maybe?

Half Marathon Photos

Can You Say....

Trophy Wife? , She looks too young to be his daughter! Good for him.

Clooney Looney?

I can't get my arms around this story. George Clooney makes between $15-$20 million dollars per film. He recently gave $25,000 to a fund to help the writer's strike. Huh? That's like giving a whale a Tic-Tac for bad breath. It's insane.....and then to promote that fact instead of doing it anonymously? David Letterman and John Stewart are paying their staff's salary out of their own pockets. That takes balls. $25 large from a dude making that kind of coin is an embarassment. Maybe almost getting your ass kicked by Fabio messes with your decision making process?

MTV Mid East?

MTV wants to expand into the Middle East. Great. You know, those nut jobs already think we're satan's spawn. What's going to happen when they see their first Akon video? Or Spring Break special? Maybe the government (ours!) is paying them to expand in hopes of making the US look cool to young Arabs and Muslims. I think it's just going to fuel their anger. Does MTV still play Creed? God I hope not. They make me want to kill people....wait until the terrorists here that crap!

2007 Philadelphia Marathon Experience

Well, my unofficial time of 2:22 that I posted earlier was wrong. I actually finished at 2:25:24. What happened was I had my watch set to stop timing if I drop below a certain pace so when I crossed the finish line and walked to get my medal and food, it wasn't timing anyway. I do that so when I run the neighborhood the clock stops when I have to wait for traffic to cross the street. Anyway, I'm calling the experience a complete success this year. Not only did I improve my time by around 15 minutes, I did it at a heavier weight as I'm carrying about 12 more pounds then I had last year. The geeky fitness scale that I have says that my body fat is the same percentage at this weight that it was at the lighter weight so at least I know only a portion of it is flabbity flab! Overall I finished 3,157 out of 4,325 runners or better than 27% of the field. At last year's half marathon I finished better than only 9% of the field. Also, last year's run was a half only. It's extremely safe to assume that I moved up considerably due to the fact more hardcore runners were in the full marathon as opposed to the half. I don't think 15 minutes would move me up that far. I finished better than 16% of males this year and last year it was only 5%. For my gender age class, I beat 19% of the field. Last year I only finished better than 3% (Yikes!) in that category. It would be interesting to see if I went back and put this time into the 12,000 runner field of last year how it would fare instead of this field of 4,300. I might do that.

The experience on the whole was fantastic, although I could have had more sleep. I picked up my stuff at the expo around 3:00 PM and got to The Latham where I stayed around 4:00. After an hour or so of doing nothing I went to my favorite Italian place in the city, Pietra's on Walnut, and ordered something very boring that isn't even on the menu..Penne with olive oil. I had some of their kickass bread with oil and tried to hydrate with as much water as I could drink. I sat at the bar and noticed a few other party of 1's at the bar eating pasta and drinking water. I could have went to the pasta party, but since I worked in the city for 5 years and knew my way around, I figured why pay $25 and walk over a mile when my favorite place was right around the corner? Anyway, when I was half done a dude came and sat next to me who ordered pasta and water. He looked like a runner and when he checked his watch it was an Ironman so I asked him about the race. As it turned out, he was staying at The Latham as well so we split a cab in the morning to head down to the race because we were 1.6 miles away from the start. Mike from NC....thanks for paying for the cab! You left me with enough money to hail one on the long walk back after I went about 6 blocks. Mike was running the full marathon and hoped to finish around 3:30. I watched the radar until about 10 PM and then headed to bed thinking it was going to rain. 5 AM came fast. We were leaving around 6:15 and I needed time to eat and let it settle a tad before running. In the end it barely spit enough rain to feel on your face a few times. The lines for the porta-potties were crazy. We got there around 6:30 and I feel like I spent 25 minutes in line, just getting to the starting point before they played the obligatory Rocky Theme. The first 2 miles were very crazy as they merged the 15,000 marathon runners with the 4,300 half runners after the Parkway. It was crowded until we started up past the zoo - then it thinned out. The best place for crowds was South Street, it was nuts. It really pumps you up to hear the crowd cheering and making noise, especially since we were WAY behind the leaders at that point. Another good point before heading out of Center City was a row of Frat houses, I'm guessing Drexel's. Those dudes were out banging on pots and pans and playing upbeat music. Someone said they were surprised they were up - I said "are you kidding? they never went to bed!". I had a gel around mile 6-7 and only stopped for liquid twice. Still A Dad and I did a 10 miler 2 weeks ago and never took a sip. I had a little water around mile 5 and some Gatorade around mile 9 I guess. My mouth was really dry because I screwed up. I've been running with gum for about 2 years now and even though I packed all my stuff the night before and sat everything out, my gum was underneath something and I forgot it this morning. I was so into taking everything in I didn't notice I didn't have it until about 2 minutes before the race started. I felt pretty strong at the halfway point and never really had a moment when I was questioning my decision to run. I had a queasy stomach and walked for about 20 seconds at around mile 12.25. How could I stop and walk at that point? Because they looped us 3/4 of the way around Eakins over where the race started and we had to run past at least 100....maybe more...no kidding...Porta-Potties. Yes, the habit runners are most famous for before going out for their morning "runs" was now staring us in the face as an obstacle. I was feeling slightly off my game stomach-wise anyway and when that first whiff hit me.....whew..... You know how when you're sick any little smell can set you off? Well, run 12 miles in the cold damp weather and then run past 100+ johns with their vented louvers all facing you and the wind blowing. It ain't pretty and it's something they may want to think about next year.
This year I remembered to raise my arms as I crossed the finish and it was hectic there as well. Loud music, lines for pictures, lines for medals and a line for Smokin' Joe Frazier. I skipped everything but the medal. Then, in a tent that had enough food to feed a small country, I grabbed only a soft pretzel and a bottle of water and started to walk back to the hotel. What a bad idea that was. I grabbed the first cab I saw after I cleared the craziness of the area. I didn't even get my cool foil cape robe!! I wasn't that cold. I grew up near Pittsburgh for goodness sake. Standing in line for the john this morning people were bouncing up and down and wearing gear like it was the arctic. It was hovering around 39 for the start I read. I was in shorts and just taking it all in. What an experience. Things I'll remember? A guy passed me in a leisure suit, lime green. I looked at the girl next to me and I said "Did we just get passed by a guy wearing a leisure suit?" A guy with 1 leg passed me as well. He had one of those space age legs that the sprinters use. I passed him around mile 12 as he was walking, but God bless him. Another guy had a backpack on, with a t-shirt over that that had so much writing on it you couldnt read anything...and he was wearing socks...no shoes. I passed him, thank God. When my elevator opened this morning, a guy was in drag with a princess crown on. What is wrong with these people? Are they simply mocking the rest of us. Finishing is so easy for me...watch this. The only other thing I don't get is the people with these utility belts like Batman. I have a race number belt with a small wallet on it that holds something the size of a band-aid. I don't even have anything against the fuel belts of which I saw a ton of. Although I don't know why you need to carry all that water when it is provided every other mile or so unless you drink a lot when you run. What I'm talking about is these people who have belts with 37 compartments on them. I swear I passed a woman and she was ready for any situation that presented itself. She had 6 bottles of water (fuel belt style), enough gel to feed 1000 runners, compartments with what I guess were first aid type things, a car battery, 2 books, a gun (even though we weren't going into North Philly), a compass, a GPS, bear trap...you get the idea. I think it was more "Hey, look at my cool belt" than functional. But, to each his or her own I guess. Off to bed. My legs are H-E-A-V-Y. It was cool but kind of a lonely experience. When everyone else is running in pairs or groups and hugging family at the end of the race - you kind of wish you had someone there with you........Still A Dad.........you feel me? Next year! :)

T-R-A-P Trap Trap Trap

Well, good morning Mr. Jet Fan, A 'S' B. You must be feeling pretty good right about now. I was pretty confident in picking the Steelers over the Jets, but that's why they play the game. Not many good thoughts about this game, mostly bad stuff. Some of the few good things were the crowd. The Jets fans should be ashamed of themselves allowing Steeler Nation to take over their stadium like that. That was like half a home game, but it didn't help. I know I saw a million things I wanted to make note of here, but I'm so dehydrated delirious tired, I'm not going to remember them all. I just wish if we were going to lose games, they would be to NFC teams. I hope a week off wasn't lost by losing to a stinking rookie QB. I'm sure their heads weren't in this for first half and they didn't even wake up after the flea-flicker. Random thoughts from the game:

I completely saw Eason miss a block on a kickoff that I'm positive I could have made. All he had to do was get in the way. He didn't.

Willie Parker looked tired to me today. No burst. When he can't dominate the league's 31st best rushing defense, we're in trouble. No bounce to the outside today at all. Nothing. Plus, he went down easier than an 11th grade slut.

Najeh Davenport didn't do much better. True, he got the short yards when we needed them, but other times he looked completely baffled as to what to do.

What in the Mother Hubbard is wrong with our offensive line on pass coverage this year? Did Ben sleep with one of their wives? Two of their wives? C'mon dudes. As Ben goes, we go. He was slippery early, but then something changed and he got smothered a few times.

Nate Washington better learn how to squeeze a football and make a tough catch 50% of the time or he should be cut. On a bobble, you can see Hines Ward never taking his eye off the ball and fighting to get it back under control. The second Nate realizes he's not going to catch it cleanly, it looks like he gives up. Toughen up!

Good job by Jeff Reed today. I can't say the same for Dan. That last punt lost the game. No distance. No hang time. Dude caught it on a full run.

What's wrong with Phil Simms' logic going into halftime? Nance questioned why they didn't throw a Hail Mary. Phil said Ben couldn't reach the endzone from there so what's the point? Couldn't he throw it to the 10 or 15 and get a pass interference call? I was under the impression that the half nor the game can end on a defensive penalty. Am I wrong?

Spaeth caught a ball that wasn't a TD. Go figure.

Thomas Jones ate us for lunch....or dinner since it was a 4:00 start. My man broke a lot of arm tackles today.

And, I'll save the biggest criticism for last.....I know Pittgirl of The Burgh Blog won't like hearing this, but if she watched every play of the game she won't be able to disagree....Troy Polamalu had a bad game, nay, a very bad game - in my humble opinion. I saw the following several times today: a flash of yellow and flowing hair....and then a Jet running with the ball. Troy needs to play more under control in my opinion. Yes, his reckless abandon can be helpful in some situations, but more often that not today, he made the first move instead of reacting to what the ballcarrier or receiver was going to do. He left his designated area too soon on some plays as well. Rod Woodson did stuff like that early in his career as well. It pays off about 15% of the time. The other 85%, something bad usually happens. When Troy watches the tape this week, he isn't going to like what he sees.

If you would have told me prior to week 1 that we would be 7-3 after 10 weeks, I would have been very happy with that. As I sit here tonight, I'm not. This game was winnable and it was a weak opponent. Arizona's front 7 shut us down completely. Denver got up for us. In retrospect, we could easily be 9-1.

My Jeff Reed Moment

Well, I never thought I'd be taking a picture of myself on the cell phone in a hotel bathroom, but I thought I needed to capture the moment for posterity's sake. I was too tired to stand in the line to get my photo in front of the flag after the race this morning. I'll post a recap later in the day as I'm trying to get out of the city in time to watch the Stillers.....just the facts:

No rain. Superb Low 40's temps. Unofficial time of 2:22. I'll have to wait and see what my chip time was. I forgot to turn off my watch when I hit the finish line because I was too busy doing my best Rocky impersonation with my hands above my head. If that time holds up, it will be about 18 minutes faster than last year. Not too shabby for an old guy I guess. I'm off to get my car........enjoy the game!

At What Price, Benny?

The Wikipedia entry on Ben has it in black-n-white: On August 4, 2004 Roethlisberger signed a six-year contract worth $22.26 million in salaries and bonuses, with an additional $17.73 million available via incentives. With Romo, Bulger and Palmer breaking the banks - What is Ben going to command when his contract is up in 2009? That was a trick question. He's never going to make it to the end of his contract. Obviously the Steelers need to tear up that contract after this season and make him a Steeler for the next 10 years or so. That won't happen either, but maybe reworking the remaining 2 and adding 4-6 more will. In all fairness to Ben, without even being a homer myself, if you were starting an NFL franchise today, meaning taking the age of players into consideration - who would you take above him? Of course you could say Peyton Manning, but he's played 6 more years than Ben. Of course you could say Tom Brady, but he's also played 4 more years than Ben. For the sake of arguement, we'll take those two guys out of the equation. Let's look at the remaining starting QBs to see how many we would take over Benny. I'm not even going to mention the fellas that don't have a shot. I'll only go thru the people that somebody might make a case for. I'll use NFL.com's list in alpha order:

Derek Anderson - sorry dude, not enough experience.

Drew Brees - Ben is bigger, stronger, has a bigger arm and is much more nimble in the pocket and throws better on the run. Next.

Marc Bulger - in my opinion, he's only good at one thing: getting the ball out quickly and accurately to his receivers. He has no intangibles and isn't good at hanging in there and reading over the defense. He basically knows were he's going on "hut".

Jay Cutler - I don't think we've seen enough of him yet. Simple as that. Asked to predict the future? I'd say Ben has the better career, hands down.

Matt Hasselbeck - I don't dislike him and he's a good, solid qb. However, ask 32 GMs right now who they would rather have, and 80% or more are going to pick Ben.

Leinhart and Losman -Leinhart has the reputation but hasn't set the world on fire. He will be better than Losman and might get really good with the receivers he has, but he's a year or two away right now.

Eli - No way. I can't think of one thing that Eli does better than Ben.

McNabb - McNo.

Carson Palmer - the only real competition in my opinion. Based on their play this year, you have to go with Ben. Based on the Super Bowl ring, don't you have to go with Ben? Some might say Palmer is the better pure passer, but I think when you take everything into consideration including toughness and elusiveness - Ben is the pick here as well.

Philip Rivers - ummmm, no.

Tony Romo - too early to tell. Ben has the pedigree, 3 outstanding years and a ring. Romo has a lot of dates with a lot of hotties and a big contract.

Palmer got $118 million over 9 years until 2014. I'm assuming that contract will be Ben's benchmark. Romo got what, $67 million for 6 years with $30 million guaranteed. Wow. Ben's people can't wait to start negotiating.

Can't Win For Losing

You know, last year Still A Dad and I ran in the Philly half marathon in September and we both trained in the early mornings leading up to it. On race day it was sunny, not a cloud in the sky and hot and humid as all get out. We did nothing but complain about the weather and blamed our times on it. This year I thought I would outsmart mother nature. I bypassed the half in September to run in the half portion of the Philadelphia Marathon. They have a full, half and 8k all on the same day. I'm currently in a hotel room praying it doesn't rain, but it doesn't look good. It's frickin' freezing outside and there is a 70% chance of rain tomorrow. It looks light on the radar, but nonetheless, light rain and high 30's is going to be pretty miserable. I was hoping for overcast and 45! Oh well. I guess a little rain never hurt anyone.

Smoke A Turd

I will definitely smoke a turd in hell for laughing at this, but my God it's funny.

Sour Puss Damian Lewis

You know what? I liked "Band Of Brothers" on HBO and I've seen every episode twice, in order. However, I don't remember this Damian Lewis being the star, even though he played the lead character. Why is it now that I every time I turn on the television I have to see his sour puss face in a commercial for his TV show Life? Jesus, God, what's the marketing budget for that show? He's always turning in slow motion to look at the camera and it seems like for every shot he's just swallowed some 100% pure lemon juice? Is "100% pure" redundant? I don't care if it is. I'm sick sick sick to death of seeing this man's face. Stop it. Stop it, whatever network he's on. I command you! It's almost as annoying as when House first came on TV. The suits are probably sitting around saying...."we need another hit show with a pissy looking guy and a simple 1-word title". Next year they'll have John McEnroe as the star of "Work". They can show all three in a row....Life, House, Work. Be prepared for Eat coming in 2009 and Sleep to follow shortly after. I'll just go ahead and beat Still A Dog to the punch here by saying that HBO will then tap Gary Shandling to star in Poop, the better more edgy version for pay TV. Message to this Damian Lewis dude, stop frikkin' scowling like you just licked a battery.