10 Songs You May Not Know

I recently got the 80g iPod Video so I can concentrate at work and I loaded it up with about 2,200 songs. I only ripped every song from CD's of bands that I really like. Other CD's got the treatment where I would just rip 2 or 3 songs. Anyhoo, over the last month while I stay mostly on shuffle at work, I've been reintroduced to some really good songs that I own and don't listen to anymore - until now. In no particular order, here they are:

1. Your Savior, Temple Of The Dog - bought this cd for Hunger Strike because I love the song but hate the politics of the song (weird, huh?). Anyway - I put this disc away when grunge died. Still, Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder on the same cd is pretty tight.

2. Fractured Mirror, Ace Frehley - if you are a Kiss fan of course you know this song....but there are those who never got into Kiss. I'm sure Pat and Moor Cowbell could match me word for word on most lyrics as we were young bucks when Kiss ruled the world and we were pulled in hook line and sinker. Anyway - New York Groove (another good song) got all the air play from Ace's solo LP (clearly the best of the 4) but I always liked this song better.

3. The Maestro, The Beastie Boys - I always liked the BBoys from my senior year in high school right up until Sabotage came out. Then they got a little freaky with all the Tibet stuff and kind of got away from what they do best...which is just rock with some groovy beats backing them up.

4. Halo, The Cure - this is the B-side of a cd single I bought a long time ago. It was supposed to be the song my wife and I danced to first at our wedding reception...but the DJ didn't own it and I forgot to bring it back home with me since I was traveling across the state for my wedding. We switched it up on the fly to be "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel followed by "Thank You" by Led Zeppelin. In retrospect, Zep should have gone first. I love me some Cure. Certain moods I get in - it's all I want to listen to.

5. Ah! Leah! , Donnie Iris - I was reminded of this song a few months ago when Still A South posted the video on his website. I downloaded it and listen to it often. You say "Donnie Iris" out here and people say "Huh?". He's our secret.

6. Words I Might Have Ate, Green Day - this is from Kerplunk! which most people aren't aware exists unless they are fans of the band. I bought it immediately after Dookie came out. Green Day is great to run to. This song always reminds me of something nostalgic for whatever reason.

7. Ain't No Right, Jane's Addiction - this song about sums up their style. It makes me play air drums.

8. Chloe Dancer/Crown Of Thorns, Mother Love Bone - I never knew this song until I saw the movie Singles which defines the early 90's about as well as Saturday Night Fever does the late 70's. It seemed to be playing in the background a lot. I bought the soundtrack and wore it out. I also bought the Mother Love Bone cd which is good all around if you like that Seattle sound. The beginning of Chloe Dancer is perfect. You need some intense "it's time to make a decision" music for a movie?....use this. The lead singer of MLB died young and Temple of the Dog was formed for one cd as a tribute.

9. Regret, New Order - Go ahead....call me a woman....I don't care. Damnit I like this song! Of all the cheesey pop that came out of the 80's, New Order and The Psychodelic Furs rose above the fray and got critical respect. Some of these songs are the soundtrack to my high school and college days. When I hear those opening chords, it takes me back.

10. Damn Right I've Got The Blues, Buddy Guy - And certainly not least....the only hard core Blues fan I know, Still A dog, throws me a bone every once in a while and gives me Blues mixes. I now know enough to seek out the artists I like on iTunes and buy their stuff. Blues fans will know this as a staple, but for all you guys that still need turned on to the best form of music out there - this will do just fine. Watch some YouTube clips of the man - he's amazing. I had a hard time deciding which Blues tune to use here as I like some newer stuff you probably haven't heard of as well (Matt Leddy and the Meatcutters, Joe Bonamossa).

Wow, I could easily do 10 more.....maybe later.

I Did It Now

Well, somebody must have read my little deal about Al's son getting busted for inhaling.....I checked my referring sites tonight and I have 4 from GoreHub.com. I couldn't find my link anywhere on the site so I'm curious as to how they are going straight from there to me...unless they have a blog feeder that lists blog posts and it's always updating dynamically. Maybe I'm off of it by now. Anyway, I thought they might enjoy this picture if they come back. Al can't even get mad at all these pictures circulating on the internet - he invented the shit - he can only blame himself.

Slanted #49

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King Not So Annoying

During the past week Peter King has written quite a lot about our Stillers. He was at camp for a few days and even talked about stopping in at the Starbucks on Route 30 in Greensburg. I'm not sure there was a negative thing in any of the pieces I read. There was a comment that right now JP Losman looks better in Bills camp then Big Ben does in Latrobe...but it's only a week in. Highlights? He mentioned that the team got 70,000 submissions for the "name the mascot" contest and that 12,000 fans showed up for a scrimmage. He gushed over Lamarr Woodley much the same way Still A Dog has been. He thinks he will be starting on Day 1 over the tight end. Does that mean Timmons won't start? Does that mean our scouting department really rocks to get that much for a middle round #2? Does that mean Silverback is going back....to the bench? I wouldn't mind if we started 2 new linebackers, but I'm not sure who would start in the middle or who would sit. He praised Kevin Colbert as well for drafting so well over the years since he's been here. He talked about Joe Greene watching practice by himself smoking a cigar up on the hill. All-in-all, the worst thing he said was that the food the cafeteria sold was a B-. He did mention that Ben was totally behind Tomlin and Hines Ward was not happy with the practice schedule. Guess what Hines? Tomlin is quoted as saying the team needs a tough exterior shell and they will get it by practicing hard. Cool. Maybe if they practiced a little more last year instead of staring at their shiny new rings..........

An Inconvenient Beaut!

Read It Here, Al Gore's son nabbed on drug charges. Like father like son. Remember, Al had a press release when he first ran for office that said he "experimented" with weed in college. Nevermind the fact that he got most of his associates to agree with a release saying they only saw him do it one or two times. Who didn't sign the release? If I remember the story correctly, it was an old friend who knew the release was a lie and that he smoked mad amounts of reefer. More here if interested.....I didn't care to read again, just wanted to have some backup!

Tomlin Delivers Needed Wake-Up Call

I'm predicting the Steelers are going to be the surprise of the NFL this year. They shouldn't be a surprise in my estimation, because of the talent on the team alone, but they are getting no respect from anyone so far as to where they will finish. I just read all the articles posted on the Gazette and what I'm reading between the lines is - the veterans aren't exactly happy with Camp Tomlin. Good! Why should they be? Hines Ward has an entire article written about him complaining about the big hits that the secondary is delivering. Good! He's especially complaining about Anthony Smith crushing Willie Reid in practice the other day. Good! I hope they get mad. I want them mad. Mad is what they weren't last year. Last year while other teams were delivering crushing blows in camp - The Stillers were still walking around like peacocks, too proud of their achievements from 2005 to worry about 2006. There is no doubt in my mind that camp last year was less than stellar and there was a lot of self congratulatory type stuff going on. I'm 100% positive Dan Rooney knew it and that's why he wanted an outsider for the job. The fact that Art II wanted the insider makes me question his football acumen. Seriously. Cowher rarely practiced on Sundays after two-a-days started. Tomlin is practicing today. Good! Everything I read has Anthony Smith ready to start over Ryan Clark. Good! He's a very talented young player who has way more potential than Clark. Get him in there. He wants to hit something. Sean Mahan was brought in to start at center. It also looks like he may be pulling away from Chucki. Good! Now all we need is for Kemoeatu and Colon to start mauling people and we'll see a new set of hungry starters this year to open to the season. Clearly the team was stale the entire first half of last season and then turned it on too late. They are now paying the price but I consider it a futures market. I think they are finally going to fire out of the gate which was a rarity under the last regime. With every win the excitement and confidence will build. I haven't read one thing yet about Coach Tomlin that I don't like. I can't wait to get behind him and start the new era of Steeler football.

Innumeracy & Rudeness - Brooke Hogan

Tonight was going to be an easy-going casual night out as we have our swim league championships tomorrow morning and need to be there at 7:45 AM. We decided to just go to the mall food court as we had a few things we needed to pick up. All 3 of us ate at a different place and yes Still A Sis, I chose McDonald's! I had me a hankerin' for some deep fried whale blubber and a vanilla shake. I saw the price of the Filet-O-Fish combo meal on the board and it was $4.89. Like I said, I wanted a vanilla shake so I asked the girl at the counter to sub a vanilla shake for the soda. "No problem" came the reply after a bunch of button pushing that said to me that it was absolutely going to be a problem. "$6.84" she said. Did I mention I fell asleep on the couch after I got home and was sound asleep for 50 minutes before being asked to go to the mall? So, hear I am in front of Einstein literally 5 minutes after waking up....cranky already. Did I mention I was a math major? "No it's not" I said, "not unless your shake is about $4". I almost threw in a Pulp Fiction reference but I was betting it would have been wasted on this particular person. The poor girl looked confused. He smelled fear. He moved in closer for the attack...... "I want the shake instead of the soda, not in addition to". "Yes sir, it's $6.84". I asked her to get her manager who came over and said "Yes?" At this point punky pants was now tugging at my shorts to let me know where her and mommy were sitting and said she would stay with me. Then she noticed "the look" and decided she may as well go sit with mommy and wait. I told the manager that I wanted a shake with my combo meal instead of the soda, same size. She punched in some numbers and proudly told me it was $6.34, not $6.84. I just stared at her with disbelief and let her know that it seemed like a big difference to me. She said "The soda is $1.80 and the shake is $2.34". Quickly running the numbers I said "I see, so the shake is about .50 more?" and she agreed. I asked her how the price then jumped from $4.89 to $6.34 - almost $1.50 increase. She rolled her eyes up into her head and did some "i'm adding math here" type things with her fingers in midair. "The register is saying it's $6.34, you forgot tax". Interesting I thought as I again quickly added rough numbers together of .50 to $4.89 getting $5.40. $6.34 - $5.40 is roughly a dollar and a dollar is roughly 1/5 of $5.40. "So the fast food tax is now 20%?" I asked. Again, the blank stare and the smell of fear. Knowing this was a dead issue and wanting to eat my fries while they were hot I tried one more time..... "How much is the soda?" "$1.80". "How much is the shake?" "$2.34". "Isn't that fifty-four cents?" (more eye rolling and air punching) "Yes". "So shouldn't my total be about $5.40 plus tax?" (real button punching...wait for it) "The register says $6.34". "Ok, here ya go, sorry I must have been wrong." Hopefully the extra $ will go to The Ronald McDonald House. I'm guessing the reigster may have been right and she was quoting wrong prices as the shake prices weren't even posted, but it's still weird that the shake would be $1 more unless they programmed some buttons wrong. It's still funny that the response is "the register says" instead of "we must have programmed it wrong" like the register is some kind of all knowing deity that cannot be questioned. Now I'm in a real good mood. I go sit down and I'm informed that Brooke Hogan, Hulk's daughter and star of VH-1's Hogan Know's Best, is at our mall.....right now. Yipppeeeee! Even though punky pants doesn't know who she is or one song that she sings, she'd like to go see what the deal is. There is a pretty decent stage set up and 100's of kids from about 7-20 years old. Lots of guys in that range and a lot of Hulkster T-Shirts in the crowd. We get right up against the railing looking down at the stage. Show starts in 5 minutes. Walking up behind us are 4 normal enough looking older kids. Two girls and two guys. Girls and one guy appear to be about 15-16 and the one guy is probably 18-20. They start talking and I hear the one girl say about someone they just saw in the mall "I (bleep)ing hate her". My daughter didn't hear her as she is looking around at the crowd trying to see if she knows anyone. I'm bracing to say something at the next vulgarity which took about .4 seconds (more math). "Some days I'd like to just rip her nipples off!" Before she even finished the last "f" of "off" I wheeled around and said "Can you watch your mouth? You're 5 feet away from a seven year old." She turned red and apologized but the older kid was eyeballing me. I turned to him and said "What?" "Nothing". "Good, that's what I thought". The show started and she looked like a cheap hooker to me. Too much makeup and you could tell every press photo of her is touched up as she's really nothing to look at in my opinion. They claim she is 19 but she looked 27 to me! Anyway, the song was called "Taste Me" and she started dry humping one of the dancers who was only there to distract us from the fact that she can't sing a lick. I wanted to leave immediately but I also wanted to see how punky pants would react to the situation. She giggled once as Brooke fake swatted at one of the dancers and he fell down, then she turned around and asked to keep moving down the mall before the song was even over. She asked me what the girl said to make me "want to protect her" and I told her it was so bad I couldn't even tell her. I asked her why she didn't stay to hear more and she said that the picture made her look like Ashley Tisdale (of Disney fame) but she didn't sound like her at all and it didn't sound like something she'd like. "I couldn't even hear her words" she said. "Thank God!" I thought. I was impressed. One last note to my math night and I kid you not..... This Thursday is our swim team banquet and you are to wear island clothing. I went to Macy's to get a Hawaiian shirt thinking I'd get a good deal on a summer clearance rack. I found one I loved with a $50 price tag on a 40% off rack with another 20% off if you used a Macy's card. Sold! $24 for a cool ass shirt that was very well made. I get up to the counter and the girl rings it and says "$28". I just shook my head. I told her it was 40% off and then 20% off of that. "Yes, 40% off makes it $35 and then $7 more is $28." I said "I'm pretty sure that 40% of $50 is $20 and the shirt is $30 before taking off the extra 20%". She rolled her eyes up and punched the air with her fingers before agreeing with me and charging me $24. I have a strange feeling she had no idea what she was doing and she just agreed with me. The next time I'm in this situation, I may simply overstate the savings I should get and stick to my guns until proven wrong by the cashier. Armed with a register, calculator, paper and pencil...I'm still not sure they would go through the pain of figuring out who is right or if they even know how to prove they are right. Oh, I found a YouTube clip of Brokke's mall tour...watch it here...but it sucks.

Thug Has Stupid Fans

I saw on the news tonight that the first courtroom appearance for Vick was attended by many protesters. I also noticed, though, that maybe 10% of the crowd was actually wearing Vick jerseys and visors and clapping for him on the other side of the street. The only reason I can even think of for supporting Vick at this point...is that the man is lawfully innocent until proven guilty and some people may have a problem with the way public opinion is swaying. If that's their case....they don't need to be decked out in Vick clothing - their issue should be with the media. You know what would be justice? In a close game when Vick can't read the defense and gets tackled behind the line of scrimmage after dancing around to lose the game....the Falcon's defense should just pick him up and repeatedly slam his body to the ground, then dump some NFL approved Gatorade on him and hook him up to a car battery while he's still wet.

Cry Me A River

If you are a fan of the Howard Stern show, cue the Artie Lang "Wah!" right about now. This entire article is about the tough, grueling practice that the Stillers had to endure today. You better sit down before you read this next part...it was for...(wait for it).....TWO HOURS! Then they had to go back later in the day and have another walk-thru. Now don't get me wrong - much of my enjoyment in the fall and winter is based on this team that I love so much. I'm just saying, someone that shovels hot asphalt in 90 degree heat for EIGHT HOURS...every day....(for what, $40k a year?) does not want to hear some guy complaining about practicing in pads today for 2 hours making over a million dollars a year. It's silly. Boo friggin' hoo. Suck it up, get out there, and kick some ass. You're a Steeler for Christ's sake. You play outdoors in the middle of winter in some brutal weather. You're not on some finesse team that plays indoors. Sheesh! Get the skirt off, Sheila, and get back out there tomorrow.

"That's What You Would Call Excessive..."

I wonder how much of this we'll see this year since LBs were taken with the first two picks?

I Am Pissy Tonight

Everything is just making me so mad. It's starting to look like Andy Reid's two sons may get plea deals. This is crazy. Let me tell you something, if Joe Mugalutz's sons within a 24-hour period pulled a gun on another motorist in a road rage incident and had drugs in the car while a few miles away the other was wrecking into an older women injuring her and later admitting he used heroin that day...and guns and drug paraphernalia turned up in both vehicles...I don't think we'd be talking about plea bargains! Andy is such a swell guy, though. I bet up until last year he would have went on record and said the courts should treat everyone the same. Yeah, until it's your sons acting like 50-Cent and "wanna be" gangstas. They were not acting alone. They know stuff. Everyone knows it. I can just hear the mayor in the DA's ear "we need this to go away....quickly and quietly". The guy who got the gun pulled on him is probably sitting in club boxes this year and the lady is sure to be driving a new Escalade later this month. The system sickens me. Fatty McButterpants probably can't name 3 friends of his kids, where they hang out, what they do.......and look what happens. Now everyone will just kiss and make up and the die-hard Iggle fans will forgive. Crazy. The court system should have to put out a document of everyone else charged with the same things in the past 20 years and what their punishment was whenever a plea bargain is accepted. That way the folks keeping score at home will know if it's a good deal or not. I'm betting "not".

Emmitt Smith = Not Smart

I don't even want to put a picture of this idiot on my website. When he was on NFL Network, Trizzle and I often opined about his lack of intelligent comments. He says the most vanilla things you've ever heard..."To beat the Colts, you'll have to stop Peyton Manning". Thanks, Einstein. Well, ESPN saw something they liked (probably thought women may be interested since he won Dancing With The Stars) because they hired him this year. They may be regretting that right about now over some things he said about the Vick case. This is just one of the stories. Another has him saying so what if he went to 1..or even 5 dogfights. Apparently he didn't even read the indictment or know about the brutal slaughter of some of the dogs. It's just one country guy looking out for another country guy they say. I say "BULLSHIT!". Emmitt has all these businesses and they say he is a good business man....but I have never heard him say anything thought provoking or intelligent on TV. In the middle of this mess, to do anything but condemn Vick is idiotic. If he's so smart, why not just say "I don't want to comment until all the facts are out". He is making it out like they went after him because he's famous. No asshole, they went after him because it is a sickening, brutal sport and Vick took delight in torturing the dogs that weren't "game" enough for him...eventually killing them by means I don't even want to type. When you are a supposed NFL deity, you may want to read a few facts about something before you spout off on it.....jerk.

West Coast My Ass

To everyone who thought Troy would play out his contract and go back west, I say "Thhwpt!!". I don't know how to spell a raspberry - but that was my attempt. Polamalu will make $2,810,000 this year with a cap hit of $1,632,000. The extension will begin next season and $15,375,000 during the 2008-2011 seasons is in guaranteed money. The total contract is for $30.19 million over 4 seasons. Football money is getting crazy! I never thought the Stillers would dish out that kind of cheddar for a safety, but with the cap approaching $100 million, I guess arguably the best player on the team deserves that much. Now, what will Ben get next year? Congratulations Troy! It couldn't have happened to a classier guy.

Timmons Signs!

Read all about it here, though there aren't that many details. It's a 5 year deal instead of a 6, but that's ok. If he can play, they will redo his deal after 4 anyway.

Sleeping Peacefully, Then......

Uh oh, it looks like he's going to.......

........Yawn!

Battle @ Tackle?

I just read an interesting article that says new head coach Mike Tomlin saw a lot of tape last year and decided that Max Starks may not be as entrenched at Tackle as fans seem to think he says. Coach saw Ben go down one too many times from that side and mentioned that Willie Colon is looking good in mini-camps. What's that you say? How could a newer starter himself be pushed for a job? Well, this isn't your Cowher's Steelers. Remember, Cowher loved seasoned vets almost as much as Rosie O'Donnel likes seasoned sides of beef. Cowher seemed to prefer experience and continuity to raw talent sometimes. You can make a case that in most instances he made the right call - but there were times when everyone knew but Mr. C that it was time for a change....the biggest being the need to replace Jason Gildon. The onger he coached, the more examples there were....Chad Scott and Dewayne Washington come quickly (or should I say slowly) to mind. Maybe the younger guys didn't have any DOG in them during camp because they knew there was little chance to start if a guy was younger than 32 and already in their position. I know Colon and Kemoeatu are supposed to be about as mean as OL come. If we need to prepare for life without Wahnaca Faneca, maybe we need to start pulling him in blowouts and letting the young guys take over. Kendall Simmons could also be in for a battle as he gets a little older. Camp will be fun to follow this year.

We're Going To Need A Bigger Boat

This is both cool and scary and some of the language is not safe for work.

Can you imagine having all those Killer Whales surrounding your boat? What if they mistake it for a huge seal? Cute or not, you saw what they did to the salmon. I'll watch Shamu from the stands at Sea-World, thank you very much.

Wanted: Guest Writer

Being that Still A Dog is the biggest lover of dogs I know, I'm going to ask him to write a post on this. I can't wait to read it.

I Like To Fish

Yes, I voted for him...twice. <---- Click!

Salad Bar

Thanks for the contribution Still A Dad. This is hilarious. There are too many jokes coming to me all at the same time. Wouldn't dude float if he just held his breath and lay on his back? I wouldn't be surprised if he shoots himself in the head later this week after he reads all his news clippings.

5 Sheets My Ass

This article is ludicrous. You have to be shitting me. Let me tell you what's going to happen to anyone who installs these machines. They are going to have to keep replacing them, and replacing them, and replacing them....because people like me are going to break them, break them, break them. Dispense 5 sheets per load? 5? 20 inches of paper? The article says that on average an American uses about an arm's length of paper. Good God I think I use twice my height and I'm a little over 6 feet tall! 5 sheets? I can't clean up a dead spider that I've squished with a slipper with 5 sheets let alone what happens the morning after a meal at Chili's. Depending on what was eaten and what it was washed down with - you could potentially use 12 ft of paper, 2 baby wipes (a Howard Stern trick), some fine sandpaper, a paint stripper and a pressure washer. Other times, a lone sheet will do. I would like to take the logic of this machine a step further. I would like to give all Americans a card for these machines not unlike an ATM card. It will be called your ASS card. Automated Shit Sheets. You swipe it when you start your business. ASS swipe. Yup. You see, you "earn" 5 sheets per use, but if you happen to only use 2-3 sheets, you can "bank" the rest of them until next time. Use 2 sheets today, say hello to 8 sheets tomorrow. This way, you can save up for a cheap beer or Mexican night and know you're not in trouble the next morning at work. I think restaurants should have a card reader right at your table. "Bill, what are you having tonight?" "Well sweety, I don't know, let me check my card." (Swipes). "Hmmm, I have 27 sheets saved up - I guess I'll have the ribs and baked beans!". There will also be several after market services developed as well. Instead of eBay, we'll have eBowel - where after entering your swipe code - you'll be able to sell your unused sheets. If Bobby Bo Ray is a heavy user, he can go online and bid on Lindsey Lohan and Nicole Ritchie's extra sheets - you don't eat when you're doing coke and if you don't eat........well, you get the picture. This is just so ridiculous I can't even believe it. Think about it...a big burly guy sitting at the booth next to you eating wings at your favorite tavern - he has to go - NOW! 5 sheets does exactly 10% of the job for him. Now he comes back to the table unable to finish the job God intended him to do. Yuck. You know how the faucets work for 5 seconds when you put your hand under them? Think how funny it's going to be when everyone is in there ramming their asses up against the faucet to get some water to finish what 5 sheets of paper could not. Better yet, lots of people will come out of the stall doing the penguin walk with their pants around their ankles, shut the door - open the door and return to the stall to get another 5 sheets! See, they didn't QA the system yet. What if it takes your ass print and will only dispense 5 sheets per incident? You could go to another stall while walking the penguin...but if they are all networked together (WAN: Wide Ass Network) the stall 2 doors down will know you already got your 5 sheets. In the year 2007, 97 out of every 100 people are carrying a cell phone with them at all times. In 2009, the cell phone will be replaced by a roll of toilet paper as the object of choice to carry around. Lanyards will be created to make them easier to carry. I'm sure Belkin will have a line of "skins" and belt clip attachments. Apple will develop the iPoop which is a tubular iPod that fits snugly in the empty roll. It will come standard with a USB "NUMBER 2" cable (which is different than USB 2.0) which dumps and loads songs really fast...faster than the splash after you drop the kids off at the pool in the morning.

Weird Google Search

Wow. Every once in a while I take a look at the searches that link to Steel City Slant. There was one yesterday from "Google France" with this typed in the search input "LES FOUTE DE HAYLEY ET WILL MR . PERSONALITY". Huh? I bet they didn't find what they were looking for since it linked to a post about American Idol and Haley from this year's competition!

We Ain't Scared Of No Voldemort

My daughter and I went to see Harry Potter and the Order Of the Phoenix tonight. What a cool flick! While some kids may be afraid of He Whose Name We Will Not Say, we just laugh at him. I've kind of equated him to Dr. Drakken of Kim Possible fame in her mind. I did jump really good once during the movie and she laughed at me! Harry and his cousin were running home from a storm when two Dementors showed up quite unexpectedly. I liked Dumbledore going off at the end and to me it looked much more realistic than when George Lucas had Yoda go off in a similar manner. Think about this....if Voldemort is one of the most powerful wizards ever - why doesn't he conjure up some better dental work? Seriously! Dude has the teeth of either a hillbilly or a Brit....take your pick.....um, water pic that is!

The Economic Naturalist

I just finished another good book. It's called The Economic Naturalist by Robert H. Frank. When I first picked it up in the bookstore and read a few pages - it reminded me a lot of Freakonomics, The Tipping Point and Blink. The subtitle is "In Search of Explanations for Everyday Enigmas". He teaches economics and the collections in the book are papers that students turned in for their final grade - expanded upon and edited by Frank himself. To give you a flavor of the book, some of the searches include "Why does milk come in square containers and soda round?", 'Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not the freezer?", "Why are DVDs packaged in huge boxes when they could be in the same size packages as CDs?", "Why is squatting legal?", "Why can you rent a $20,000 car for $40 a day, but a $400 tuxedo rents for $125?". These types of things interest me as I like to know how things work. What the book is trying to get you to do is to understand that there are a myriad of reasons behind the costs associated with consumer goods. The more of these snippets you read - the more likely you'll be able to come up with the next answer yourself. It's also broken up into very small sections making it a good book for the pool or before bed. If something comes up, you usually only to have read a little further to get to the next snippet. While it's not as good as the other books I mentioned here - it's good enough to satisfy the curious reader.

Dead Pool Anyone?

So yeah, I like to wager. I was called "The Commish" at one place of business because I ran every pool you can imagine. I ran the golf league, the fantasy football league, the weekly nfl pool, the ncaa bracket, the super bowl grid....we even drew horse names for the big horse races. If you could bet on it - we did. We even ran a "Dead Pool" for a while. We held an initial draft where 5 people kicked in money and we picked 4 celebrities that we thought might die soon. Morbid! Every 2 weeks we added more money and had another round of drafting. It ended up being won by Still A Heff who had 2 people on his list die THE SAME DAY. I kid you not. Look it up. It's a fact. March 27, 2002. Dudley Moore and Milton Berle. I saw both names over a span of a few hours and I thought I was going to have to look up the official time of death to make our league official. As it turned out - he had BOTH of them. Anyway, my point here was that if you were starting one today - I don't care how many 98 year-old celebrities are out there, I'm taking Pacman Jones. Trouble doesn't find you for no reason. He'll be dead in the next year. As an aside, Still A Heff also won the only other round we played by having John Lee Hooker. I hope down there near Baltimore Heff isn't having any bad dreams about me!

al Ka-Ka

I have a great uncle who used to use "ka ka" as a synonym for, well, "$hit". I would like to make a declaration that al-Qaida will now and forever be known as al Ka-Ka. After reading all the news clippings today and yesterday of how they are retooled and rebuilt, it really makes you wonder. I voted for President Bush twice and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Sure, he's not the best president in the history of the country but he's not the worst either. Anyone who tells you he is probably can't name 25 US Presidents, let alone tell you what they did in office. Right now, I think Bush and the Republicans are stuck between Iraq and a hard place (sorry). Why do I think that? Every time the administration tries to warn people about a terror alert - the liberals and media make fun of them and say they are trying to sway national attention away from something else or using fear to garner votes. If a spectacular attack would go off next week in this country - they will be blamed unmercifully - even after every warning gets brushed aside. They will say the war in Iraq caused it even though this can never be proved or disproved. If a democrat happens to win the presidency and THEN a terrorist attack happens on our shores, the complaint will be that Bush didn't do enough when he was in office to squash future threats and all he did was stir the pot. Basically, he's screwed if he tries to fight them now, he's screwed if they attack before he's out of office and he's screwed if they attack shortly after he's out of office. Like or dislike Bush - there is very little doubt in my mind that Gore or Kerry would have handled these situations better. Nothing is going to appease the fringe groups who are always going to be terrorists. Violence is the only thing they understand. If another attack happens, we find the area of the world where they trained and planned - whether it be a region, city or country - and we make it inhabitable by man for 100's of years. Get the picture?

Great Band Names

Every once in a while, something I say or think sounds like the perfect name for a band. I love creative names for bands. When I used to play with friends back in high school and college the bands were called "Blind Vision", "The Answer" and "Meltdown". I think all 3 showed some promise (in name only!). We had "The Answer" back in 1986...not sure when AI started using it. Anyway, it looks like after doing some Google searches - the 3 I came up with over the past few days are already in use! All 3 are work inspired. "Feature Creep" is something that faces IT people on a daily basis. I've been working on a report for the top of the food chain and the scope gets bigger every day. It hit me the other day that it would be a cool name. Along those same lines - "Works As Designed" is something QA people face all the time as well. It's a daily battle to point out things that are obviously wrong with software but aren't explicitly written into the specifications. I think it's a cool name for a band as well, and so did somebody else. On a funnier note, I walked into the bathroom the other day and my God....the smell could have melted you! I thought Jesus Christ, buddy, how about a Courtesy Flush? Then I smiled - Courtesy Flush would be a killer band name!!! And.....it is.

Only In America

Boo Hoo.

The Greatest Rivalry In Sports

Would be Mike Tomlin's Steelers vs. Bill Cowher's Browns. I myself don't think it will happen, but there are a ton of rumor type websites addressing that very issue. This one is right off of KDKA's website. I think it's one article that started all of this and then all the other sites ran with it. Peter King reported that he thought Cowher may stay out of coaching for 2 years after talking to him earlier this year. Bill needs to remember one thing - remember the blank "deer in the headlights" look he had most of last year as his Super Bowl team fell to 8-8? After any stupid play or big play against them, they would show him on the sidelines and it looked like he was already thinking about wearing a bathrobe and slippers at 3:00 pm on a Tuesday....that will be him 8-10 times per game...EVERY game....if he ever decides to coach the Browns. I always thought he would come back - but come back to the NFC. If he came back to a team in our division? Wow! At least the Browns are a joke, if he took over the Ravens I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I may take his bobblehead likeness off of my collection shelf and hand paint Ravens colors on it and then think of new ways to desecrate it every week on video and upload them to YouTube.

The Pit

I finally got around to grilling on the new charcoal grill I built yesterday. I bought "real" charcoal as recommended by Still A Dog and I must say it worked out very well. My only problem was controlling the initial burn when the chicken juices started dripping on the hot coals. The pieces got a little crispy (ok, a LOT crispy) on the outside but were perfect on the inside. Later in the night I used one of the grates as a fireplace screen and lit a nice wood fire in the pit to make s'mores. Even though it seemed kind of weird to light a fire on a day when it was almost 90 degrees, by 10 o'clock at night it felt just right. Now all I have to do is sync up my calendar with The Dog's and allow him to cook the perfect meal on it - whatever he chooses!

Nike Steals Paris Hilton's Slogan

In this video clip of Wayne Rooney displaying his deadly accuracy, Nike pulls a fast one on Paris Hilton by using her personal mantra and corporate slogan without her permission or knowledge. According to her lawyers, her "knowledge" isn't that broad in the first place. To put it in today's perspective, the average person has the mental capacity of an 8gb iPod Nano. Doctors, Lawyers, Surgeons and Software Engineers have the equivalent of a 30gb iPod for a brain. A genius would then be sporting an 80gb iPod for their gray matter. In contrast, political and sports pundits would use a 4gb iPod Nano. Politicians would use a 2gb iPod Nano. People who worship celebrities would have the 1gb iPod Nano while most celebrities themselves would have the 1gb iPod Shuffle (it's still the same capacity as the smallest Nano - but it's style over substance and it's really tiny). We asked Hilton's personal psychiatrist to equate Paris' mental capacity to an electronics gadget. When told that "Toaster" did not qualify as a gadget - the doctor needed more time to think but did come up with a valid answer: the original Texas Instruments LED calculator. He was quick to point out that the calculator analogous to Hilton's brain did not have a memory function, square roots or exponentials....just basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. He also asked for the purposes of this comparison if we could all pretend that the relic computational device only held 6 digits.....knowing full well that it really held eight. Anyway, after the nice man kicks the soccer ball (soccer? what the hell is soccer?) into the target, you will see the stolen Hilton slogan. It's what she tells most people that she meets. If you remember, Hilton tried unsuccessfully to sue Nike when they first used "Just Do It" as she claimed it was a blatant ripoff of her massively popular "Just Do Me" slogan at that time.

Slanted #48

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Bush Commuting Libby

I read several article headlines today and saw many news clips about President Bush commuting Scooter Libby. A lot of folks seemed upset and complained that he shouldn't do it....especially liberals. Aren't liberals supposed to champion the environment? Why shouldn't President Bush stop by and pick up Scooter on his way to the office? It would allow them to use the car pool lane on the Beltway and catch up on things
while commuting Scooter to his new job. Bush has always been attacked for his stance on the environment and I think this is a step in the right direction. If this works out, maybe he'll rent a bigger car and swing by and pick up Rummy as well. He should really commute all of his friends that used to work for him. It's just like the liberal media to attack him for something and when he tries to do something about it - they attack him for that. The poor man just can't win.

We Are A Nation Of Idiots - Anna Nicole Smith

This headline just caught my eye on Yahoo's front page.

The teaser that made me click it read "Anna Nicole Smith's 10 month old baby daughter makes OK! Magazine's list of most influential". What?! She headed up the list for the "Survivors" category. How in the mother truck does a 10 month old "survive" something? She is lucky right now if she can point to her nose and toes, let alone comprehend what has happened to her. If she makes it to 12 without selling herself on Sunset Strip, then maybe she survived something. Katie Holmes is influential? All she did is marry someone who guarantees her that she'll never have to work again. Hmmmm, maybe that is influential? OK ! Magazine should make a list of worst magainzes and this article should make a list of worst articles. The author should make a list of worst authors and the person who selected the font should make a list of "worst font selectors". Furthermore, anyone who reads said article and takes it seriously should make the list of "stupidest celebrity worshiping idiots".....well, unless they wear helmets and pads and play football on Sundays....then it's OK to worship them.

Rooney Rules

The latest article from SI writer Michael Silver ranks the NFL's current owners. Dan / Art II rank 9th this year, up from 10th last year. Last year's article infuriated me so much I sent an email (thoughtful, not attacking) and received a great reply from Mr. Silver. We've since traded emails on numerous occassions and the information that he gets is rock solid. I still think the Rooney family belongs in the top 5, but that's beside the point in this post. Although he doesn't go into any detail (I've asked for some, though) he reports that it was Dan's call to hire Mike Tomlin over Art II's vehemently disagreeing with him. Art II wanted one of the in-house guys (Grimm, Whiz) to take over. That blows up my theory of Art II sticking it to Bill Cowher by not hiring one of his staff. In the end, I think we're going to be happy with Tomlin and I respect Rooney for making the tough decision and not going with the insider. I think after the bad season they had - they needed to shake up the team and get the edge back. Grimm or Whiz would have been like a substitute teacher taking over for a year. Silver also claims Cowher leaving was all about the cheddar and that he would have stayed if offered market value. That's a tough one to swallow unless he was really more upset with Art II than anyone let on. He never seemed the type to me to leave for money since he's a Yinzer at heart, has money like Fort Knox and job security for life. Is that worth 2 million a year? I think it has more to do with Bill Cowher wanting to run the entire show - which is what he will get at his next stop, unless of course he becomes a NASCAR driver.

Boys Night

The girls traveled back to western PA this weekend for my mother-in-law's surprise birthday party. They got to hang out with Still A Dad on Friday night and then spent the rest of the weekend with her family. I couldn't make it due to work complications - see some previous posts where I complain about this! Anyhoooo, when I realized the house would be relatively empty on Saturday night - I shouted out to Moor Cowbell and a guy I met at my new office to come over and jam. We grilled some fish, had some beers and then tried to find some songs that all three of us know. New Guy is 10 years younger than Cowbell and myself so he knows more 90's music - although he is a classic rock guy as well. We played some AC/DC, Van Halen, Floyd, Rush, The Cure, J Geils, Bush, Pearl Jam, U2, Priest.....and too many others to remember. My arms hurt! I went from playing 3 songs every month to playing for 4+ hours. I recorded a song that we actually all knew the beginning, middle and ending to...which was rare! It's "Hey Jealousy" by the Gin Blossoms. The sound isn't that good due to the fact that it's recorded on a digital still camera with a weak mic.....but hey, it worked. It sounds much better if you actually know the song I guess so you can hear it playing in your head as well.