Tonight was going to be an easy-going casual night out as we have our swim league championships tomorrow morning and need to be there at 7:45 AM. We decided to just go to the mall food court as we had a few things we needed to pick up. All 3 of us ate at a different place and yes Still A Sis, I chose McDonald's! I had me a hankerin' for some deep fried whale blubber and a vanilla shake. I saw the price of the Filet-O-Fish combo meal on the board and it was $4.89. Like I said, I wanted a vanilla shake so I asked the girl at the counter to sub a vanilla shake for the soda. "No problem" came the reply after a bunch of button pushing that said to me that it was absolutely going to be a problem. "$6.84" she said. Did I mention I fell asleep on the couch after I got home and was sound asleep for 50 minutes before being asked to go to the mall? So, hear I am in front of Einstein literally 5 minutes after waking up....cranky already. Did I mention I was a math major? "No it's not" I said, "not unless your shake is about $4". I almost threw in a Pulp Fiction reference but I was betting it would have been wasted on this particular person. The poor girl looked confused. He smelled fear. He moved in closer for the attack...... "I want the shake instead of the soda, not in addition to". "Yes sir, it's $6.84". I asked her to get her manager who came over and said "Yes?" At this point punky pants was now tugging at my shorts to let me know where her and mommy were sitting and said she would stay with me. Then she noticed "the look" and decided she may as well go sit with mommy and wait. I told the manager that I wanted a shake with my combo meal instead of the soda, same size. She punched in some numbers and proudly told me it was $6.34, not $6.84. I just stared at her with disbelief and let her know that it seemed like a big difference to me. She said "The soda is $1.80 and the shake is $2.34". Quickly running the numbers I said "I see, so the shake is about .50 more?" and she agreed. I asked her how the price then jumped from $4.89 to $6.34 - almost $1.50 increase. She rolled her eyes up into her head and did some "i'm adding math here" type things with her fingers in midair. "The register is saying it's $6.34, you forgot tax". Interesting I thought as I again quickly added rough numbers together of .50 to $4.89 getting $5.40. $6.34 - $5.40 is roughly a dollar and a dollar is roughly 1/5 of $5.40. "So the fast food tax is now 20%?" I asked. Again, the blank stare and the smell of fear. Knowing this was a dead issue and wanting to eat my fries while they were hot I tried one more time..... "How much is the soda?" "$1.80". "How much is the shake?" "$2.34". "Isn't that fifty-four cents?" (more eye rolling and air punching) "Yes". "So shouldn't my total be about $5.40 plus tax?" (real button punching...wait for it) "The register says $6.34". "Ok, here ya go, sorry I must have been wrong." Hopefully the extra $ will go to The Ronald McDonald House. I'm guessing the reigster may have been right and she was quoting wrong prices as the shake prices weren't even posted, but it's still weird that the shake would be $1 more unless they programmed some buttons wrong. It's still funny that the response is "the register says" instead of "we must have programmed it wrong" like the register is some kind of all knowing deity that cannot be questioned. Now I'm in a real good mood. I go sit down and I'm informed that Brooke Hogan, Hulk's daughter and star of VH-1's Hogan Know's Best, is at our mall.....right now. Yipppeeeee! Even though punky pants doesn't know who she is or one song that she sings, she'd like to go see what the deal is. There is a pretty decent stage set up and 100's of kids from about 7-20 years old. Lots of guys in that range and a lot of Hulkster T-Shirts in the crowd. We get right up against the railing looking down at the stage. Show starts in 5 minutes. Walking up behind us are 4 normal enough looking older kids. Two girls and two guys. Girls and one guy appear to be about 15-16 and the one guy is probably 18-20. They start talking and I hear the one girl say about someone they just saw in the mall "I (bleep)ing hate her". My daughter didn't hear her as she is looking around at the crowd trying to see if she knows anyone. I'm bracing to say something at the next vulgarity which took about .4 seconds (more math). "Some days I'd like to just rip her nipples off!" Before she even finished the last "f" of "off" I wheeled around and said "Can you watch your mouth? You're 5 feet away from a seven year old." She turned red and apologized but the older kid was eyeballing me. I turned to him and said "What?" "Nothing". "Good, that's what I thought". The show started and she looked like a cheap hooker to me. Too much makeup and you could tell every press photo of her is touched up as she's really nothing to look at in my opinion. They claim she is 19 but she looked 27 to me! Anyway, the song was called "Taste Me" and she started dry humping one of the dancers who was only there to distract us from the fact that she can't sing a lick. I wanted to leave immediately but I also wanted to see how punky pants would react to the situation. She giggled once as Brooke fake swatted at one of the dancers and he fell down, then she turned around and asked to keep moving down the mall before the song was even over. She asked me what the girl said to make me "want to protect her" and I told her it was so bad I couldn't even tell her. I asked her why she didn't stay to hear more and she said that the picture made her look like Ashley Tisdale (of Disney fame) but she didn't sound like her at all and it didn't sound like something she'd like. "I couldn't even hear her words" she said. "Thank God!" I thought. I was impressed. One last note to my math night and I kid you not..... This Thursday is our swim team banquet and you are to wear island clothing. I went to Macy's to get a Hawaiian shirt thinking I'd get a good deal on a summer clearance rack. I found one I loved with a $50 price tag on a 40% off rack with another 20% off if you used a Macy's card. Sold! $24 for a cool ass shirt that was very well made. I get up to the counter and the girl rings it and says "$28". I just shook my head. I told her it was 40% off and then 20% off of that. "Yes, 40% off makes it $35 and then $7 more is $28." I said "I'm pretty sure that 40% of $50 is $20 and the shirt is $30 before taking off the extra 20%". She rolled her eyes up and punched the air with her fingers before agreeing with me and charging me $24. I have a strange feeling she had no idea what she was doing and she just agreed with me. The next time I'm in this situation, I may simply overstate the savings I should get and stick to my guns until proven wrong by the cashier. Armed with a register, calculator, paper and pencil...I'm still not sure they would go through the pain of figuring out who is right or if they even know how to prove they are right. Oh, I found a YouTube clip of Brokke's mall tour...watch it here...but it sucks.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Innumeracy & Rudeness - Brooke Hogan
Tonight was going to be an easy-going casual night out as we have our swim league championships tomorrow morning and need to be there at 7:45 AM. We decided to just go to the mall food court as we had a few things we needed to pick up. All 3 of us ate at a different place and yes Still A Sis, I chose McDonald's! I had me a hankerin' for some deep fried whale blubber and a vanilla shake. I saw the price of the Filet-O-Fish combo meal on the board and it was $4.89. Like I said, I wanted a vanilla shake so I asked the girl at the counter to sub a vanilla shake for the soda. "No problem" came the reply after a bunch of button pushing that said to me that it was absolutely going to be a problem. "$6.84" she said. Did I mention I fell asleep on the couch after I got home and was sound asleep for 50 minutes before being asked to go to the mall? So, hear I am in front of Einstein literally 5 minutes after waking up....cranky already. Did I mention I was a math major? "No it's not" I said, "not unless your shake is about $4". I almost threw in a Pulp Fiction reference but I was betting it would have been wasted on this particular person. The poor girl looked confused. He smelled fear. He moved in closer for the attack...... "I want the shake instead of the soda, not in addition to". "Yes sir, it's $6.84". I asked her to get her manager who came over and said "Yes?" At this point punky pants was now tugging at my shorts to let me know where her and mommy were sitting and said she would stay with me. Then she noticed "the look" and decided she may as well go sit with mommy and wait. I told the manager that I wanted a shake with my combo meal instead of the soda, same size. She punched in some numbers and proudly told me it was $6.34, not $6.84. I just stared at her with disbelief and let her know that it seemed like a big difference to me. She said "The soda is $1.80 and the shake is $2.34". Quickly running the numbers I said "I see, so the shake is about .50 more?" and she agreed. I asked her how the price then jumped from $4.89 to $6.34 - almost $1.50 increase. She rolled her eyes up into her head and did some "i'm adding math here" type things with her fingers in midair. "The register is saying it's $6.34, you forgot tax". Interesting I thought as I again quickly added rough numbers together of .50 to $4.89 getting $5.40. $6.34 - $5.40 is roughly a dollar and a dollar is roughly 1/5 of $5.40. "So the fast food tax is now 20%?" I asked. Again, the blank stare and the smell of fear. Knowing this was a dead issue and wanting to eat my fries while they were hot I tried one more time..... "How much is the soda?" "$1.80". "How much is the shake?" "$2.34". "Isn't that fifty-four cents?" (more eye rolling and air punching) "Yes". "So shouldn't my total be about $5.40 plus tax?" (real button punching...wait for it) "The register says $6.34". "Ok, here ya go, sorry I must have been wrong." Hopefully the extra $ will go to The Ronald McDonald House. I'm guessing the reigster may have been right and she was quoting wrong prices as the shake prices weren't even posted, but it's still weird that the shake would be $1 more unless they programmed some buttons wrong. It's still funny that the response is "the register says" instead of "we must have programmed it wrong" like the register is some kind of all knowing deity that cannot be questioned. Now I'm in a real good mood. I go sit down and I'm informed that Brooke Hogan, Hulk's daughter and star of VH-1's Hogan Know's Best, is at our mall.....right now. Yipppeeeee! Even though punky pants doesn't know who she is or one song that she sings, she'd like to go see what the deal is. There is a pretty decent stage set up and 100's of kids from about 7-20 years old. Lots of guys in that range and a lot of Hulkster T-Shirts in the crowd. We get right up against the railing looking down at the stage. Show starts in 5 minutes. Walking up behind us are 4 normal enough looking older kids. Two girls and two guys. Girls and one guy appear to be about 15-16 and the one guy is probably 18-20. They start talking and I hear the one girl say about someone they just saw in the mall "I (bleep)ing hate her". My daughter didn't hear her as she is looking around at the crowd trying to see if she knows anyone. I'm bracing to say something at the next vulgarity which took about .4 seconds (more math). "Some days I'd like to just rip her nipples off!" Before she even finished the last "f" of "off" I wheeled around and said "Can you watch your mouth? You're 5 feet away from a seven year old." She turned red and apologized but the older kid was eyeballing me. I turned to him and said "What?" "Nothing". "Good, that's what I thought". The show started and she looked like a cheap hooker to me. Too much makeup and you could tell every press photo of her is touched up as she's really nothing to look at in my opinion. They claim she is 19 but she looked 27 to me! Anyway, the song was called "Taste Me" and she started dry humping one of the dancers who was only there to distract us from the fact that she can't sing a lick. I wanted to leave immediately but I also wanted to see how punky pants would react to the situation. She giggled once as Brooke fake swatted at one of the dancers and he fell down, then she turned around and asked to keep moving down the mall before the song was even over. She asked me what the girl said to make me "want to protect her" and I told her it was so bad I couldn't even tell her. I asked her why she didn't stay to hear more and she said that the picture made her look like Ashley Tisdale (of Disney fame) but she didn't sound like her at all and it didn't sound like something she'd like. "I couldn't even hear her words" she said. "Thank God!" I thought. I was impressed. One last note to my math night and I kid you not..... This Thursday is our swim team banquet and you are to wear island clothing. I went to Macy's to get a Hawaiian shirt thinking I'd get a good deal on a summer clearance rack. I found one I loved with a $50 price tag on a 40% off rack with another 20% off if you used a Macy's card. Sold! $24 for a cool ass shirt that was very well made. I get up to the counter and the girl rings it and says "$28". I just shook my head. I told her it was 40% off and then 20% off of that. "Yes, 40% off makes it $35 and then $7 more is $28." I said "I'm pretty sure that 40% of $50 is $20 and the shirt is $30 before taking off the extra 20%". She rolled her eyes up and punched the air with her fingers before agreeing with me and charging me $24. I have a strange feeling she had no idea what she was doing and she just agreed with me. The next time I'm in this situation, I may simply overstate the savings I should get and stick to my guns until proven wrong by the cashier. Armed with a register, calculator, paper and pencil...I'm still not sure they would go through the pain of figuring out who is right or if they even know how to prove they are right. Oh, I found a YouTube clip of Brokke's mall tour...watch it here...but it sucks.
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3 comments:
You go through a rant like this a couple times a year so I won't comment on the retail stuff but...
What Pulp Fiction quote were you going to lay down??
Vincent: I don't know if it's worth $2.34 but it's pretty F**kin' good!
You would have had to scold yourself after that one!
OR Vincent: Did you just order a $2.34 shake? A shake? Milk & ice cream? It cost $2.34? You don't put bourbon in it or anything?
You know what they call a Big Mac in Paris? Le Big Mac.
In Paris, you can buy beer at MacDonald's. Also, you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Royale with Cheese.
Then you order mayonnaise with your french fries (drown 'em in that shit) and walk away.
Oh yeah, and a Big Mac in Puerto Rico is a Mac Grande.
i know. i'd like just a little competency when i decide to patronize a place of business. yeah, you can't get "the ritz" treatment at mcdonalds and shouldnt expect it....but i also shouldnt be overcharged or not be able to get a simple question answered.
yes....i was going to start the entire shake thread...but then thought better of it.
This reminds me of the fall semester of my senior year, when I needed a class on M and W afternoons that would get me out of marching band practice. (I played in "the pit" for marching band so I didn't have to learn any marching drills - practice was quite boring for me!). Anyway, I decided, being the good little shopper that I knew I could be someday, that I would take "Principles of Retail" as an easy business elective with professor Marty St. John. Marty was a cool guy. He'd buy you a beer at McMonagle's if he saw you there.
Anyway, here we are in the first two weeks of class talking about the difference between markup and markdown and I COULDN'T BELIEVE the number of people who just didn't get the whole 20% markup or 40% markdown thing. I think this is something we learned in about 4th or 5th grade, and college seniors (most of whom were business majors) did not get it. Very sad. Marty gave a quiz and told all the people who got an A to stay away from class for the next two weeks while he taught the idiots (his word, not mine) how to calculate percentages properly.
Perhaps they should have learned to punch the air with their fingers to figure out the answer.
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