Jesus Christ, No Really.....

Maybe you remember my Christmas rant last year against Hallmark? I got a lot of good reviews on it. It was about how terrible their marketing department must be. Well, now I've seen it all. We had to stop at the local mall yesterday to pick up a few things. My daughter likes to go into the card stores to see the Webkinz. So, as we're coming out of one.....I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought I saw baby Jesus made out of marshmallows! I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut real hard, hoping that when I opened them the sweet, puffy Christ would be gone. No such luck. Not only that, the Lord Our Savior and King of the Joo Joo Bees was flanked by Mary and Joseph - both made out of the sugary substance. So, here we go again..... they have mailmen, police officers, firemen, soccer players, baseball players..... And? And then some guy in a suit said "Wait...I Have It!!!....Let's make a baby Jesus out of a mini mallow!!!" Genius. Pure Genius. Did he ever wonder how those in the manger were keeping themselves warm? A small fire maybe? Has he ever gone camping? Does he want Baby Jesus to turn crispy brown after only a few moments in front of the fire? And what's keeping him warm? Is that a blanket or a wad of chewed gum? You know what, people? I like Christmas. No, I LOVE Christmas. Ask anyone who knows me. I love getting into the spirit of the Holidays and I love listening to Christmas music and going out looking at the decorated neighborhoods. We decorate the house with tasteful ornaments. Now I'm sorry if you already bought one of these, but I do not think we need little baby Jesus made out of mini-mallows laying on chocolate and a graham cracker! Am I wrong? If I'm wrong, I don't want to be right. It did however, strike me as a good time to compose a new Christmas Song....

"Away in a manger, chok-lit for a bed,
The little lord mallow lay down his sweet head,
The hay for his pillow went right through his eye,
It looked like a stir stick so Swiss Miss I tried"

I could go on and on.... Jesus made out of marshmallows? Who in the Mother Hubbard signed off on that idea? Well, at least it's a "tasteful" tasteless ornament.