FAN: The Next Twitter, New Killer Social App

This just in, if you Tweet, stop, it's over. There's a new killer app that's taking over social web 2.0. Before we get to the new app, let's take a virtual walk down internal memory lane. Remember the early 90's when most companies started using email? Wasn't it great? You didn't have to call anybody in your office. You got 7 or 8 a day. It was all internal and it was fabulous. Then you got hooked up at home on sweet, sweet dial-up. AOL. NetZero. ...remember how happy you were when yo uheard the fuzzy scratchy noise meaning you finally connected after dialing only 11 times! Yes kids, there was a setting on your dial-up app where you told it how many times to redial in case your retarded provider didn't have enough lines in your area. Your office probably connected to the outside world and now you could send and receive email virtually all day. Sigh. Then you got bored, right? You started receiving jokes. You got the same jokes from 18 different people. You were going to get paid by Bill Gates to forward email. You were warned about this virus and that virus. You chuckled at the forwarded emails containing the origins of such famous sayings as "the whole nine yards" and "don't look a gift horse in the mouth". Boring. But then came adding pictures to email and it was fun again. For a few months. Your friends would scan in a photo of their kid and email you a file that took 2 minutes to download even at 56k. You would give up after the top of the baby's head and eyeballs were finally painted on the screen. Chat rooms came and went. Forums were full of scary trolls. Email was boring again. The thing that changed was the amount you would get. You had so much to answer and so many to send that you started making them much shorter. Instead of a few paragraphs you sent one paragraph. Maybe two. I know, instead of sending out emails about myself I'll start a blog. I can write a few paragraphs again and I don't have to send all those long emails. Now my friends know what I'm doing if they read my blog. This is so cool! Enter texting. Now I don't even have to talk to you! I'll just text your phone so you don't have to check your email. Perfect. We can text back and forth like we're talking. It's too hard to type all those letters so we'll make up abbreviations. idk. srsly? fu. Social networks sprung up out of nowhere. I'll leave my blog entries and updates on MySpace. Huh, what? You don't remember MySpace? It was Facebook before, well, Facebook. Now I can leave even shorter updates on Facebook. A few sentences here....a few sentences there. "Don't bother me at work today, I'm very busy." "Hey it's Friday, guess who is going to get shi-at faced tonight?" People got really tired of the long Facebook entries. People were writing like 3 or 4 sentences. I don't know about you, but I don't have time for that. It was literally taking me 8 or 9 minutes a day to read all of my friend's updates. Tweet Tweet. Somebody turned me on to Twitter. I could run Twitter while I was online and see what my people were up to. "Boss is a dickhead" "Going to Pilates home in an hour". I could get them on my phone and I wasted fewer time.....until now. I got a Tweet this morning to check out Bla.com or Bla for short. They kind of ripped off Twitter, but not really because they are forcing you to choose you words, or word more wisely. You see, Bla only gives you 8 characters and you can only transmit 8 Blas per day. Old school if you think about it. We're back to 8 bytes. Badass. I checked a friend's Bla's yesterday. Oh yeah, no more getting confused about how to use the words "Twitter" or "Tweet"......a Bla is simply a Bla submission. It's recursive use of the word itself. Is that correct? Should I just say "It's recursive"? Anyway. I checked her Blas.

6:52 - awake 7:41 - Trfc sux 8:14 - @work 9:27 - bozstill 9:28 - dickhead 11:32 - strbux 2:31 - daywtend 5:22 - trfc sux 6:14 - mcd drvt 7:10 - ihvbrats 8:22 - fnlykdbd 8:23 - vodka 8:37 - vokda2 9:11 - vofkda 10:21 - hubfrsky 10:22 - noefnway

I hear the makers of Twitter are frantically working on a monosyllabic vertical. Sup