Willie Reid Is Gone

Slantedamus was right yet again. Willie Reid was cut this year in favor of Dallas Baker making the 5 wideouts Holmes, Ward, Washington, Sweed and Baker. I thought Baker might get beat out by Micah Rucker, a 6'6" 221 lb monster, but Baker is a nice size and has spend a year on the practice squad. I'm guessing Mewelde Moore spelled the beginning of the end with his ability to return both punts and kicks. I wasn't surprised by any of the cuts this year, mostly because I failed to watch a ton of preseason games! I guess I was a little surprised to see Orpheus Roye back on the roster instead of developing a younger player. I also feel bad for Charlie Batch. What started out looking like a shorter injury has turned into being placed on IR. I hope Ben stays healthy, I don't want to have to rely on Lefwich for any length of time. Can't wait to start the weekly game capsules.

Best Fans, Duh!

ESPN ranks Steelers fans as best in the league. Tell me something I didn't already know.

In The "Line" Of Fire

SI sent out their annual football preview issue today. They had six regional covers and wouldn't you know Donovan McPuke graced our cover. Right....what? How about Ben? If you want to sell copies on the newstands, there has to be data that would back up a Roethlisberger cover over McNabb. Anyway, I digress. Still A Dog wants football. Let's talk football. In the issue, they go into the key for some team's success. Of course, they talked about the Steeler's Offensive Line. Thing is, I wasn't sure if they meant Offensive - like opposite of Defensive - line......or if they meant Offensive - like "F*ck me their line play is simply offensive "- line. We'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it's the first choice. They are still listing Starks as a backup, so there's a front office screw up right there. Remember, he's getting paid like, zillions of dollars this year. Ouch. They call Colon a mauler on runs. Hmmmm. How about pass protection? They protect Ben like Marino's lines used to run block. Exactly! The thing that worries me, and they mentioned it, and The Dog mentioned it....we haven't invested a high pick on a stud hog in some time. They mention the Defensive Line as a strength of the team. Look how old they are though! Where is the future? With Parker and Melwelde Moore already in the fold, unless Mendenhall is special, I hardly see how someone getting his number of touches can replace our future lines. I'd like to be proven wrong on that and have him break out, especially on kick returns. And speaking of kick returns, they rated our Special Teams a solid B. Jeff Reed must have brought that average up all by himself, because if you take the FG unit out of the equation, I thought they sucked big donkey.....ears. I swear those guys just throw darts and mix and match what they are saying. One thing I did get excited about was all the talking they did about Lamar Woodley. Kevin Greene has taken a liking to him and took him under his wing, teaching him about rushing from the outside. I can't wait to see him in action this year. The talk about Woodley also boned up a piece of history when it said The Steelers haven't had consistent pressure on the QB since the Lloyd/Greene days. Interesting. I bet Jason Gildon and Joey Porter would have something to say about that.

Hartwig To Start @ Center

Never doubted it. Now let's see who fills out the line on both sides of him. Any predictions?

Liberals Unite

A dude who was bad-ass enough to survive two tours in Iraq died at his job...prison guard...because he wasn't allowed to be armed. What? Did I read that right? Not a gun. No pepper spray. No baton. No nothing. How about this? A guard dies, and the next night 10 guards visit every cage (not cell) with towels filled with rolls of quarters and bars of soap and they beat the living piss out of everyone. Not once....a beat down. Cancel visitation, turn off the TVs, close the gym and internet connections. Lock down for a month. The damn guy was trying to make a living. I hate people.

Slanted #60

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Eight Houses

Of course hardly anyone is pointing out that the houses belong to his super rich wife technically. I would like to know how many she owned before she married him. The Wallstreet Journal says they are owned by her, but they don't say much more than that. These guys want to argue about who is more out of touch with the American people. They better be careful as now that they have brought it up, it's fair game to be used in reverse. John Kerry "owned" 5 homes totaling $33 million dollars when he ran. Same scenario - owned by Heinz technically. There is also a story circulating that in 2004, Joe Biden suggested to Kerry that he ask McCain to be his running mate! Yup! It's true. It was on Wikipedia under the heading 2004, but has since been relocated in the article, probably by Biden's people knowing how ridiculous it will look if Biden has to now tell us that he isn't right for the job. I'm not going to lose much sleep if Obama wins the election because in some aspect - you can't deny that it may go over better in some parts of the world. That being said, when I go over the checkboxes of what I believe in and what each party typically stands for, I still align myself with the GOP. Read about the Wikipedia entry here. Read the WSJ article here. I've said it before and I'll say it again - elections for me are mostly about picking the lesser of two evils. I'm not sure if I've ever been inspired by a candidate since I started voting. In fact, I have not. I just can't stand how skewed the national media is. I recently heard Jesse Ventura on The Howard Stern Show and Howard was egging him on to run for President. He makes a lot of sense. Then, near the end of the interview, he admitted he thinks there are a lot of 9-1-1 conspiracies and ended up sounding like a crazy person. He went from thought provoking and brutally honest to a coo-coo bird in about 2 seconds. Why can't Steve Forbes be more electable? We truly need a non-politician to step up.

Nine Year Old Terrifies Ten Year Olds

This is it. This story takes the cake of what's wrong with America. If this kid played ball in China, the freaking heads of state would be at his games laughing as he mowed down batter after batter and then put him on a steroids program and steal him from his parents to use as an experiment. He's nine. He plays in an 8-10 league. Why was it OK to pitch all year and then cut him off? The attempt to have him banned out of pure jealousy is so obvious, you almost have to think maybe there is another reason. Fear? He hasn't plunked a kid yet this year! Give me a friggin break already? Is there a big kid in the league? Couldn't the coaches get together and ban him as he might line drive a pitcher and hurt them? He throws 40 mph. The article does a poor job saying what the average 10 year old pitcher throws. If it's 35, tough titties. Actually, I don't care if it's 25. If there is no bylaw saying there is a maximum speed then batter up. I get sick to my stomach even thinking about the people behind this. What happens to the first 10 year old who moves up next year and faces a 12 year old? Exactly! It's the same thing! This is lunacy at it's pinnacle. What if Phelps couldn't compete at nine because he was too good? What if Ms. Walsh at 12 hit the volleyball so hard it knocked the snot out of other kids and their mothers complained and got her banned? I'm telling you, it is 100% probable that another kid has pitched in that exact league within the last 5 years and he threw just as hard. If this kid had played for the team that wanted him, there would be no issue. These parents are cowards. They should be tied to a wall and the kid should be allowed to throw heaters at their nuts.

Michael Phelps Owns The Pool

This is hilarious.

Stop Reading - Brighten Your Day

If you know me, you know I don't read fiction. I haven't read fiction in a LONG time. I read periodicals and business books - that's about it. I got my new Sports Illustrated today and read it cover-to-cover as usual and there is a great article in it (depending on how you look at it) about how the Chinese government basically white-washed everything about the Olympics and are trying their best to make sure they are viewed in a positive light. I followed that story up by reading online (my favorite preference) about how the performers in the opening ceremonies were treated. The people in the boxes had to wear adult diapers....nuff said. One girl is paralyzed from the waist down from a fall during practice with adverse weather..... the flying / singing girl was replaced by a lipsync artist because the real singer wasn't cute enough.... bragging by the director that they could do more in a week than American performers could learn in 2 months.... it's very enlightening. I also read this week in another magazine that illegal drivers in America (no valid license) kill on average 25 people per day. Think about that for a second. I know I've made comparisons like this before, but this one is crazy. We've lost a little over 4,000 men in Iraq since Feb 2003. That's roughly 2 deaths per day. People go ape shit over that statistic. We all agree, one death is tragic and nobody is making light of any death.....but when you realize that 116 people die on American highways every day....and about 25 of them are caused by drivers without a valid driver's license....it's enough to make your head want to explode. The story goes into details about how people from other countries who probably can't read just plow through intersections and kill families. You read about people with 8-10 traffic convictions having their license taken away on a Monday and then they end up killing someone within a week. It's a tough article to read. The guys in Iraq signed up for the military. I'm talking about families dying who are in a car, wiped out by someone who shouldn't be behind the wheel - and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. We're a country of very bright resourceful people when we need to be: to make a better video game, to allow us to have 1,000,000 different ringtones on our phones, we have robots to vacuum our carpets and my car remembers where I had my seat and steering wheel when my wife is done driving it. You can buy a toaster that will darken one slice more than the other. Our dogs don't need a fence anymore. My daughter can play checkers with her grand pap who lives 250 miles away. Everyone has Crackberry thumbs. Why can't we devise a simple product or two that can do the following:

1. Attach to the steering column and kill cell phone signals within 5 feet of the steering column if the car is running.
2. Have some type of breathalyzer on dash to detect if the person is past .08 and not start the car if so. Or, have an 8 digit password to start the car which would be difficult to remember or punch in if totally loaded. Any idiot can turn a key.
3. A system to ensure people without a valid license won't drive. How about, if you get caught, you go to jail for 5 years with no questions asked. People will say, we need space for hardened criminals. Well, I submit that if an illegal alien smashes an SUV into a mother and her baby killing them....a fine and never being able to get their license is no big deal.

I hate to say it, but some countries in the Middle East do a much better job of preventing crimes and idiotic behavior with their barbaric system of deterrents. Maybe if you rape someone and get castrated, it will deter people. Maybe if you get caught breaking and entering and lose your legs, it will deter people. Maybe if you kill someone and get shot between the eyes within a week....the murder rate would go down. It sounds drastic, but when 25 people per day die for no good reason, it just doesn't make sense to me. If all the energy that political foes of the war went to address this one issue, do you think the problem could be alleviated by half? If it was alleviated from 25 to 22, they could save more lives than bringing home the boys from Iraq. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Russia Leaves Georgia

I read that the Russians are leaving Georgia and a peace agreement has been signed. That's good. You see, we go to North Carolina every-other-year on vacation and I didn't want to have to worry that the Ruskies were making their push North next summer. I figured South Carolina would fall pretty quickly and if they came up the coast, we'd be in trouble. I'm not even sure what all the trouble was about. I'm pretty sure they waited until the Olympics started so people would have something else to focus on. Well, they didn't fool me. I think it had something to do with natural resources, but I'm not 100% positive. I hear that the Russians like themselves a fuzzy peach every now and again, but who doesn't? Peanuts? Maybe. Then again, maybe they were looking for Jimmy Carter? Maybe Putin needs a new drinking buddy. In the end, I don't care why they were there, I'm just glad they're leaving. The good 'ole boys down there were able to stand up and fight them off. I bet it won't be long before Confederate flags are flying proud again in the dirty South.

What's Wrong With People Redux

Want to be in a bad mood? Read this........

Nice work, Pittgirl.

Beth Gets Posted

The version of Beth that I played drums on for Moor Cowbell has been posted to the website for the tribute material. I listened to some of the other songs and they are pretty good. They are pretty deep cuts though, so if you aren't a big KISS fan, you might not recognize them at all. I don't belong to the board who runs this, another guy set up the website to host it, but here are the comments so far that Moor Cowbell has collected from the site:

"Who ever thought Beth could be turned into a shuffle? I think almost anything can be done with a classic song as long as it's done with heart and conviction and Moor Cowbell shows the truth of that here."

"I get scared when I know I'm just about to endure a rocked-up version of Beth, but all my fears were allayed when Moor Cowbells boogie version jumped out of my speakers - I couldn't help nodding my head along with it. Well done."

"this is the most original Beth cover ive ever heard! And the heaviest one too! very cool cover and an interesting answer to the question how beth would sound as a heavy rock track"

Still A Cowbell, add more to comments as they come in.....if they are good.

Sardines = Yuck

Let me start off by saying that I like 99% of seafood. I eat all kinds of crabs, white fish, saltwater fish, fresh water fish, scallops, shrimp, sushi, sashimi, caviar, calamari....... It's really hard to find a seafood I don't like. Eel, alligator, snapper, oysters, clams, mussels..... One time at an all-you-can-eat sushi bar, I tried something that taste like a rotting corpse and it took several cans of Diet Coke and 4 packs of gum to get the taste out of my mouth. You'd think I'd remember the name of the fish, but I don't. It wasn't bad, it just smelled like fish bait.....tasted the same way. Anyway....I once walked into a fresh seafood place with Chrissy Twocoats in NC and remarked that the tuna looked outstanding....we were going to grill it. The girl behind the counter said it was sushi grade and cut a sliver for me and I devoured it and more on the way back to the beach house. You get my point....it lives in water....I'll usually eat it. However, there is a new nasty smell that I can't seem to get out of my life. I'm trying to catch a skunk (long story) and I hear that the best bait is sardines. I've never had one but I hear they are high in protein and good fats. I had Mrs. Fan pick up a tin at the grocery store. Not whole fishes, but these pieces, like in the picture. As I opened the can she almost passed out. I laughed at her and told her she was being silly, but inside....I was reminded of my one bad sushi experience. I put some of the sardines in the trap and put the rest in a zip lock bag. I washed my hands once....twice...three times....no lemons in the house...I sprayed cologne into them and rubbed them together. Nothing. This smell is the smell of a million dead fish decaying out in the sun. Nay, a million dead fish and a million dead vultures that came to eat the dead fish (but later died due to the smell of the fish). It's worse than any kitty litter experience I've ever had. It's worse than the breath of the new guy at the office whom we've dubbed the "Swirling Tornado of Rot". It's worse than a bucket full of earth worms. It's worse than a Big W dump in the morning. It's bad. It's like when my plecko died in my big tank and he was dead for a few days before I took him out....and he was about 11" long. Pew! Think of the worst thing you ever smelled, and then imagine that chewed up and vomitted back out. Right. That bad. Finally, my wife determined it was me that smelled and it was not the sardine juice that went down the drain followed by 137 gallons of water. She gave me apple cider vinegar to use which worked....until now....and now the smell is back. Who eats this stuff? I need to know. I can pop open a can of tuna and eat the entire thing with a fork in 3 minutes. Sardines? The Great God Almighty put things on this Earth that would give anyone a foodgasm......why the mack truck would anyone eat one of these things? I dare someone to name a worse smelling food in the entire grocery store. What one food will put a stink on you that will last all day when all you did was touch it for 2 minutes (if that). I Double Dog Dare Ya!

I was almost afraid to post this story for fear of what Still A Dog might post in response....but I will not be censored based on the story or wise (cracking) thoughts that will immediately follow this post. Hold onto your hats......Dog?

Edwards = Punk Liar

Fake, Fakey, Faker. You can't fool me.

I nailed you a long time ago, before the rumors even started to fly.

Now go away. We don't like you. You make us sick. Just who we want for president......his wife is fighting cancer and he's taking the wood to the beaver. Ass Hat.

Boo Bob, Boo

Did anybody hear Bob Costas say "There's Henry Kissinger negotiating his way to his seat". Sly, Mr. Costas, sly.

Olympic Cheerleaders?

As I woke up Saturday morning around 6 AM at Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos, I reached for the remote to watch some Olympic coverage before the rest of the family woke up. What I saw was ridiculous. Cheerleaders at a volleyball match. Weird. Standing there...just watching...clapping..... It looked very out of place. Watching the opening ceremonies it seemed like there were about 1,000 cheerleaders. I thought it was just for the opening. Not so. How far will they take it? Will they show up for say, Discus? Archery? I checked out some men's Badminton but didn't see any. Those guys were sick. I could barely see the shuttlecock it was moving so fast. I tend to think of badminton as a lazy backyard endeavor, not a fast paced Olympic sport. I was glad to get home to watch some of the coverage in HD. What a difference. When the swimmers crash the wall and they go to the underwater shots it's crazy clear.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

I will not be sleeping tonight after seeing this......

Hampton To Vikings?

Forget Brett Favre going to Minnesota, I think they traded for Casey Hampton today. I saw this pic of him wearing purple and it startled me a bit. It's a damn shame that you get paid millions of dollars to play a game and you can't work out a little in the off-season. If this is how serious he takes it, how can the rookies take it seriously? Dang slimmy, salad bar.....salad bar, baby!

Mashup Spotlight

I had some friends over for a cookout this weekend as one's family is away on vacation and one I just plain haven't seen in a while and it was time. After we knocked back our steaks from Ilg's Meats and drank our share of beer, we hit the basement bar which turned into a show-and-tell on YouTube. I saw some Deathklok on AdultSwim.com and I was showing some Chad Vader on YouTube as well as Sad Kermit doing Hurt. We turned our attention to looking for mashups and found some gems. I'll list a few here. The first is Run DMC doing Tricky over Metallica's Enter Sandman. Cool stuff. Next up is Foo FIghter's and Guns 'N Roses. Weird how stuff like this just meshes. Snoop Dogg and Led Zep comes off OK as a party song. Next one is either good, or just sounds crazy after a few beers, but it's The Chemical Brother's Galvanize mixed with none other than John William's Theme from The Empire Strikes Back. Rave music probably. Anyway, some pretty creative stuff in there.