Cornholio, Thy Name Is Carson Palmer

This is too good to be true. <------Click It! I only know Cornhole to mean one thing and it isn't something you'd name an event unless it's in San Francisco and sponsored by Mrs. Richard Simmons. Cornhole? Ouch! How the hell does one play Cornhole? Not sure, but it sounds like Carson has been playing for a long time....and he LOVES it. I wonder if his nickname was "Rosie" growing up? Check back next week when we see if Rosie Palmer prefers pitching or catching. I hear in December when the playoffs start the Bengals QB will be spending his off-time putting together a PocketPool Tourny. Yipes. I hope the Stiller fans treat him to some Cornhole signs when he comes to Pittsburgh this year. Damn, I thought the boy was bright. I was wrong.

Props to AA for bringing this to my attention!

Holmes Causing Me To Have Plaxbacks

Plaxbacks are flashbacks that only involve the antics of one Plaxico Burress - former first round draft pick and starting wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Plax was recently back in the news for being one of 2 Giants to not appear for their "voluntary" camp. He pulled the same thing with the Steelers and also had run-ins with the law to go along with his bad attitude. Santonio Holmes was recently arrested during Urban Beach Week for disorderly conduct. From what I've read, the cops are extra sensitive that week and arrest people the second it looks like they aren't going to obey their orders or question them. Santonio was asked to get back on the sidewalk (I guess in a harsh tone) and asked the officer why he was using such a harsh tone. Bad idea. For the second time in his young life - he was arrested for disorderly conduct. I think the charges were dropped when he was a freshman at OSU (boosters in the right places?). Anyway - I want to cheer for this guy and have him be the eventual go-to-guy. Coach Cowher stresses to his players not to put themselves in a position where trouble is likely to occur. They are targets....and I don't mean targets like Peezey's buttocks....but targets for all sorts of trouble. Americans like to see their heroes fall and there will be people that bait athletes into acting out so they can potentially sue them to get settlement money. Santonio needs Hines Ward to sit him down and talk to him during camp. The Rooneys are generally known for staying away from "trouble" players and not resigning them or pursuing them in free agency. Let's hope Mr. Holmes gets on the right page quickly. He got a good start by acting humble and apologizing. Now go catch 75 balls and make us forget this even happened.

A Funny Slanted Visitor

If you ever bother to look, there is a counter at the bottom of the page supplied by SiteMeter. I use it to track interesting things like visitor counts, page counts, location, length of stay, searched on...etc. I can visually look at a globe and see dots where my hits are coming from and then blow up the dot to see city, country and even partial IP information. I only look occasionaly and it's fun to see if my site was found by doing a search on a popular engine. I had a hit today from Bahrain that used a Yahoo search click to get to me. I clicked the link to go to the Yahoo search results page to see what the user entered to get to my page. It was manonman.com! I completely made up ManOnMan.com as part of a Star Trek spoof story earlier this month. Some poor Arab (Arabs make up over 82% of Bahrain's population so I'm going to assume it was an Arab) was looking for some good man-on-man porn and he found my site. Isn't that hilarious? I guess it could have been a female that just likes to watch sword fighting, but it makes the story better to imagine this Muslim all huddled up somewhere where nobody can see his monitor dialing me up and seeing the latest post on who got me hot when I was 12! I can see him now.....(in my weakest attempt of a Bahrainian accent) "Who iz dees Bionic Woman of who they speeek?". OK, maybe it's not funny to you, but I'm getting a kick out of it. Rats. I have to be honest. The hit came from an area of Bahrain called Manana. There is a decent chance dude was looking for info on that and keyed in "manonman" instead.....except the flamer actually typed in "www.manonman.com" and not just "manonman". I think he was looking for gay porn if you ask me.

Slanted List Spawned From Infommercial?

So I'm flipping around the channels looking for something to watch at 5:30 AM. I stop on a Sleep Number infommercial because I actually slept on one recently while on a trip and I loved it. Lindsay Wagner of "The Bionic Woman" is hosting the infommercial. Stuff like this amazes me as I can't fathom for a second why they would select her. She hasn't had a career since the late 70's. A quick search at imdb.com reveals nothing worthy of mention since the series ended. She made numerous "made for tv" movies in the 80's and the only movie I ever saw that she was in was "Ricochet" in 1991. If memory serves, Denzel Washington and John Lithgow were in that. Her part in that must not have gone well as I don't recognize anything immediately after it. Anyway - I'm just trying to imagine the big-wigs from this company sitting around saying "We need someone huge for this infomercial......we need.....LINDSAY WAGNER!". Seriously, how does that come about? Is there a list of washed-up celebrities that will stoop to this level and then you make up your "want list" and start calling? Why Lindsay Wagner? The kid who played Webster wasn't available? Lamont from Sanford and Son too black? I was fondly remembering crushing on Lindsay Wagner right around the late 70's along with a few other washed-up actresses so I thought I'd compile a list of my celebrity crushes from when I was 12. Here goes - top 10 in no particular order....but Valerie Bertinelli was without a doubt Number 1.

Barbara Eden of I Dream of Jeannie - she was 32 at the time. I saw the reruns.
Donna Douglas, Ellie May on Beverly Hillbillies - she was 29 at the time. Reruns.
Tina Louise, Ginger on Gilligan's Island - she was 33 at the time. Again, reruns.
Dawn Wells, Mary Ann on GI - she was 28 at the time. Reruns.
Maureen McCormick, Marcia Brady - she was 18 at the time. Saw her more in reruns.
Lisa Whelchel, Blair from Facts of Life - she was 17 when I was 12. Saw her in "Real Time".
Valerie Bertinelli - One Day At A Time - she was 20 when I was 12. Real Time.
Farrah Fawcett - Charlie's Angels - she was 29 at the time. Real Time.
Cheryl Ladd - Charlie's Angels - she was 26 at the time. Real Time.
Catherine Bach - Daisy Duke - she was 25 at the time. Real Time.

A Recipe For Tossing Cookies

I went to Idlewild Park on Memorial Day with the family. Grandpap went with us. Did I mention it was hot? Well, here is a recipe for disaster at an amusement park. First, it was around 90 today and very humid. You could sweat just by standing in the sun. Second, being a runner, you'd think I'd realize I was getting dehydrated - but I didn't. I drank a Diet Coke and an iced tea before we left around 9:00 AM. I also went to the bathroom around that time. To explain just how hot it was....I drank another iced tea with lunch, an Icee later, 2 bottles of water and an ice cream cone...and I didn't go to the bathroom again until 5:45 PM. That's almost 9 hours from someone who usually goes 5-6 times during 9 hours at work! So, I ate an ice cream cone around 3:00 and my daughter immediately wanted someone to take her on The Spider ride. Well, in my old age (cough, cough) I still love thrill rides, but not things that just go in circles at high speeds. My dad doesn't either and my wife just recovered from waiting in line for the Ferris Wheel so I said I would go. Bad idea. The sun was beating down on this ride and I was already sweating pretty good - plus - remember - I just ate ice cream. The ride started up and it took me all of 7 seconds to realize I was in trouble. I really thought I was either going to pass out or Ralph. I started sweating worse than Rosie O'Donnel when the buffet is about to close. I warned my daughter I might throw-up and she inched away from me and reminded me to make sure I do it over the side. Isn't she cute? Anyway - I survived - but was warned I was as white as Bryant Gumbel and had sweat pouring off me and my shirt was soaked. I sat down in the shade and grandpap got me another bottle of water which I held on my head before drinking it down. Needless to say, I was walking like Katherine Hepburn during an earthquake until we returned to the car and I blasted the AC directly on me for the next 45 minutes. When we got home I ate some peanuts and drank Gatorade and I felt fine within an hour of returning home. Good enough to wash my car actually so I'm convinced it was due to dehydration......or age.....but at least I kept my perfect record alive of not throwing up in public. Unless you count the back porch of the house I lived in while at school in front of 2-3 very close friends.

Steeler Season DVD

I finally got to see the Steeler DVD that goes through the entire 2005 season. Actually, I can't believe I haven't bought it yet. Maybe I'll do that this weekend. It's superb. The game capsules are exactly what you would expect. Hard hits, good catches and lots of sideline banter. For only being in his second year - Ben takes command and talks to the guys well on the sideline. It seems a bit odd to hear Coach Cowher call Porter by his nickname "Peezy", but he is a player's coach. I can't wait to see how he coaches the sideline this year with his group of veterans. When they went south in 1998 he was blamed a tad for giving the vets too much leeway. I hope he keeps a strong hand this year. Best highlight in the entire dvd? The Bears game! Snow flying, breath showing, Bettis running over Brian Urlacher....I want the season to start tomorrow!!

Competitive Shopping

So I needed new tires for my car. I did a little research and decided to replace my Continental ContiTour CH95's with Continental ContiPro Contacts. I like Continental tires because they are 10-20% cheaper than Michelin's and Bridgestone Touranza's, but they always match or outperform them on TireRack.com's tests. I called around to my local shops and the same place I bought my last set and the cheapest price I could get them installed/balanced was $440. I called my brother-in-law to get the number of his tire dealer on the other side of the state and he was able to put on and balance the same exact set for $380. Since the shop is only 10 minutes from where I'm staying - I opted to save $60 instead of flushing it down the toilet. Props to Phil's tires of Fayette City, PA.

Guilty Pleasure

Yes, I know...it's a guilty pleasure. I like American Idol. I have to admit it. I've watched most of all 5 seasons. My daughter loves it and it's the only show on TV that the three of us watch together. I watch very few shows besides AI with The Sopranos, Entourage and The Apprentice time permitting but it has sucked recently. I had Taylor Hicks nailed as the next AI from his first audition until the finals were set and then I thought either Taylor or Chris Dougherty would win. Congrats to the Soul Patrol. Now I need my daughter to quit teasing me and saying my hair matches Taylor's. What she doesn't know is that she has my family genes and we all go gray early! Since I like The Blues, I'm inclined to think I may actually purchase some of Taylor's work if he goes that route. He has the voice for it, that's for sure and he's from the dirty south.

Lelei Is An Ash

Ashley Lelei ended the season as a solid #2 receiver. He had a year remaining on his deal and never questioned the Broncos about redoing his deal. He probably thought he would play one more year and then cash in as a free agent or get resigned to a huge deal as Rod Smith walked off into the sunset. Let me make that point clear - he was not upset at the Broncos at the end of the season. What made him upset was that the Broncos started talking about T.O. and then traded for Javon Walker on draft day. All of a sudden, he's not coming to practices or anything and he feels he isn't being paid enough. Hmmmm. Some athletes would say "Wow. This makes our team much better." Well, they wouldn't say that exactly, they'd say "Yo we're BANGIN' now, dog" or something like that. My point is, when a team brings in someone that threatens your job - you can do 2 things. You can "man up", get pissed off, come in with a chip on your shoulder and prove to your team that you own the #2 spot and Javon Walker can't take it from you - or you can sit home and cry like a little girl with a skinned knee and not come to practice. The first example shows your teammates what you're made of. Jake Plummer may be fuming internally because the Broncos drafted Jay Cutler. Publically, he welcomed that challenge and basically said "Bring it". I may hate Shanahan as a coach (and person) but he isn't stupid. Drafting Cutler may make Jake a little bit better as a QB. Not good enough to beat the Stillers in the AFC Championship game mind you - but some players may need extra incentive to play their best. Hines Ward is another perfect example. Did he sit home and cry after the Steelers drafted Troy Edwards? No. Did he sit home and cry when they drafted Plaxico Burress? No. He got mad, and better. He wanted to prove them wrong and prove them wrong he did. Look at him now. So, Ashley Lelei, are you going to come to camp and fight for your starting spot or are you going to be self-centered and hurt your team? You were in the AFC Championship game last year. You need to be thinking that a healthy Javon Walker could push your team over the top (not gonna happen). Even if you get moved to the slot - you're a burner and will still catch balls as the person covering you will not be as a good as a starting CB. Grow up.

What A Giant Moron This Guy Is!

Thanks again to another contributor for sending me this video clip. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why people are broke and have to file for chapter 11 on a personal level. This idiot, along with his trophy wife, seem to be consumed with image. Granted I don't know them, but a picture tells a thousand words - or more. The piece is about lenders now allowing home buyers to stretch mortgages out to 50 years. That's right. 5-0. Fifty. They may as well do away with checking your credit and making sure your mortgage payment will only be a certain percentage of your household income. Five years ago this jackass bought a house for $270,000. He said homes in his neighborhood are now selling for over $500k. Very believable. We more than doubled our first house price when we sold after 8 years. You typically get approved for a mortgage that is 3 times your household income so assuming they put 5-10% down (I wouldn't be surprised if they financed 105%) the household income at the time was roughly $85k. National average is around $45k these days but for some zip codes the average is easily double,triple or quadruple that amount. So, the fact that they are double the national average isn't really that impressive to me. They said they needed to have more money at their disposable DUE TO THEIR 3 YEAR OLD SON. Blaming the kid? Blaming the KID? OK, the video clip of the house was about 10 seconds, but I noticed a few things. Leather furniture in the family room. A nice big 'ole flat screen TV in the background. Did you notice in the backyard they had a hottub with a WATERFALL!!!! In the driveway when they did the first shot, there was a huge late model SUV and a hot rod to the right of it which I couldn't make out either. The second shot showed a white Hummer in front, but in all fairness to them, that may have been the interviewer and the film crew's wheels. Then again, maybe it wasn't. All I'm trying to stress are the choices these folks made. I just know in my bones they aren't saving a dime and out of the money this deal is going to save them in the short term, you just get the feeling they're going to blow it - not use it wisely. Listen, people can spend their money however they want. If you can save 10% of your disposable income - great. If you can save 10% of your gross income - SUPERB! After that, buy a $10,000 waterfall and anything else that will make you feel better as you can afford it! However, if you have to refinance a 30-year mortgage to a 50-year mortgage and blame it on your SON as you're driving around in a $65,000 car and own a $5000 couch....you're a financial idiot. And yes, the guy is assuming he'll sell after 5 years and make a huge profit and continue his pattern of living above his means by buying another house - this is exactly the type of guy who can't control his spending and will end up with nothing when he is 55. It's the game of Life. Ever play it as a kid? If this guy wants to continue his current lifestyle after he retires he needs 80% of that from his investment income. If his current household income is $100k and he never gets another raise, he'll need a nest egg of $1,000,000 to produce $80k annually at 8%. If he/they continue to get raises and the household income ends up at $150, the egg will have to be about $1,600,000. I have a sneaking suspicion if we added up all his 401(k)s and IRAs we wouldn't really be surprised although he may think he's saving enough. Stash it, don't flash it. I'm not counting on SS being there for me and it's worthless anyway even if it is there. SS was not meant to support people who were making 6 figures plus before retiring. The max SS check isn't even going to be a week's pay for that tax bracket. Stash it till it hurts a little. Retire early. Exit the rat race when the rest of the country has 5-10 years left to work. You aren't an idiot if you buy expensive and nice things. You're an idiot if you buy expensive and nice things that you can't really afford. Yes, you can buy a few things you can't really afford to treat yourself here and there - but if you make a pattern out of it and constantly live above your means - you are in a downward spiral and sooner or later - you're gonna crash.

The video clip lives here <----------- Check Out Mr. Stupid

Worse Than The Cold Sandwich Killer

Holy Cow! Sent in from a reader is this wild news item:

Trial in Pa. Dirty Dishes Killing WAYNESBURG, Pa. (AP) - May 22, 2006 - A Greene County man is scheduled to stand trial later this morning on charges he killed his wife during an argument over dirty dishes. State police say 27-year-old James Petrie of Richhill Township, shot his 17-year-old wife Jessica with a rifle last July Seventh. Petrie acknowledges shooting his wife – but says he didn't believe the gun was loaded when he threatened her with it during the argument. Jessica Petrie died at Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown, West Virginia, a few hours after the shooting.

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Can you believe that? 27 married to 17? Who approved that and why wasn't pappy chasing him off the porch with his shotgun? Why didn't her mother teach her how to do the dishes correctly? Rinse them a little and put them in the "dishworsher". They were living wrong anyway. They should have switched to paper plates years ago. Balogna sandwiches taste better eaten off of paper and baked beans can be eaten right out fo the can. No dishes! Anyway - this isn't as close to where I grew up as Frazer and "duct tape" boy or the cold sandwich killer....but it's close enough. I guess in the end, if you get shot with a rifle by your husband over a dirty dishes dispute in the country or if you get a cap in your ass during a carjacking in the city...in the end...you're still dead and the manner in which death was facilitated isn't important. I think it's funny that his defense was that the gun wasn't loaded! So, I guess during an arguement it's OK to point a weapon at your child, I mean wife, and pull the trigger? The poor child is probably better off with her quick death than living another day with this abusive terrorist. If only she could have shot him.

Hawthorn Suites in Alexandria Sucks Major Ass

I lead a pretty uncomplicated life. That was, until about 6 months ago. I started traveling for business and I hate it. I out-and-out HATE it. I hate being away from my family and I hate being away from my house. I hate being away from my running and I hate being away from my bed. I hate flying - well, not the flying part - but the endless lines and dead time waiting. I hate driving on 95 north or south. In fact, I can't find one good thing to say about traveling for business. I HATE packing. I came home most weekends in college so I was packing then. I used to go to western PA before I was married every 3-4 weeks for the weekend. I did that for more than 3 years. Once my daughter was born it started to slow down and now we go back about 4 times a year. Perfect. I maybe pack to travel 6 times a year total. Well, since February I've made about 7 business trips...and for somebody that hates traveling and packing...that's about, oh, 7 too many. What has me going this time? I love Sundays. I love Sundays for simple reasons. In the fall and winter, it brings Steeler football to the center of my world. In the summer it brings grilling and swimming at the pool. In the spring it brings The Sopranos!!! I booked this piece of shit room last week ONLY after verifying they had HBO by calling here before I booked it. I got here at 8:30 pm and much to my chagrin...I couldn't find HBO on the set. I called and was told to check 08, it was NOT HBO. I watched the channel listings and it wasn't listed on the channels thru 99. I saw an ad on the listings channel that said it was in the 300's and the HD version was in the 170's. Hmmm, kind of hard to get that when your TV only has 2 digits for channels letting the world know it was put together with bubble gum in Korea circa 1990. I called the front desk again and was rudely told "our guy is looking at the box, thanks (click)". Yeah, I can watch it Wednesday when I get home, but now I can't listen to Howard Stern if he starts talking about it and I have to watch what headlines I see on the net plus people may be talking about it at work tomorrow. This SUCKS. I don't ask for much in life. I called back and asked them if my set only has 2 digits, how could I get HBO and she started to explain how their guy could "flip" it on. Well, he didn't make it. At 9:20 I gave up. Did I mention I hate traveling? F me, I hate it. I'd give anything right now to be sitting at home in the dark watching The Sopranos by myself while eating a big old bowl full of ice cream like Tony with the stupid cat sitting beside me waiting for me to finish to see if he likes the flavor I had. And, since my wife chooses to watch Desperately Seeking Housewives or whatever it's called, I watch The Sopranos replay again with her later in the week. Well honey, I guess I won't be saying "Ooooooooh watch this!" when we watch it on Wednesday this week.

F me, I'm mad. Rootin' Tootin' Spittin' Mad.

UPDATE MONDAY 8:21 AM
The HBO finally got switched on sometime between 9:45 and 11:00 PM. Hooray for me. This place sucks and nobody here has command of the Queen's English whatsoever.

Video From Drunken Night

I hope for your sake this doesn't hit too close to home! <----- Click It

I'm Predicting a HUGE Work Stoppage

Video stores will be unmanned. Comic book shops will close. Tower Records will suffer. Mall gaming stores and Radio Shacks will not even open. Geek paradise is upon us. Christie's auction house is hosting a 3 day event October 5-7 which will feature over 1,000 lots and 4,000 total items from the original Star Trek series and the 10 movies that followed. Sunscreen sales will be up that week as many 30-45 year old pasty males will come out of their mother's basements to make the trek to see the merchandise live. Even though the October sun is tame - many of these individuals haven't seen real sunlight in years. Said Tommy "Beamer" Scotts, 37 of North Carolina, "One time I opened the smallish curtains on the basement window in my bedroom and I completely forgot it was before 4:00 PM and the brightness of the sun shocked me. My eyes hurt for several days after that mishap." Surrounding stores in Christie's neighborhood are stocking black long sleeved shirts in greater numbers than usual for the event. Other stores are clearing shelf space of things like toothpaste, hair gel, deodorant and condoms and replacing them with Doritos, Mountain Dew, M&M's and thumb drives. We went over to Christie's today and a line has formed already with 9 devoted "Trekkies" already queued up. We asked the first gentleman in line, Danny "Sulu" Wong 34 of California, why he needed to be first in line. "I simply must have the 3rd knob from the right on the Enterprise panel controlled by the one known as "Control Room Personnel Man #2. Being here first assures me of my prize possession." When we explained to Danny that Christie's was an "auction" house and he didn't need to be first he got nervous, broke out in a sweat, wet his pants and claimed nobody had yet taken Ebay's business model to the brick and mortar level....called us stupid and could still be heard laughing as we walked away. We asked the last guy in line how he got permission from his job to miss over 4 months of work. He replied that his mom was going to mow her own lawn until he returned and that the car could indeed go several months without being washed. Online sales giants like Amazon, Overstock and Shop.com are expecting to do HUGE business those three days as most net shoppers will feel at ease knowing that 99.8% of all hackers will be closely monitoring the auctions instead of phishing for buyer fraud. ManOnMan.com and ILoveDick.com however will be down for maintenance those three days. Watchdog groups for the internet in general are predicting the fastest speeds ever due to reduced net traffic for the period in question. We'll keep you updated as the dates draw closer. The next angle we'll take on this developing story is "What to do when you encounter a female that's not your mom or sister ". Should be interesting.

Confronting Strangers

Rarely do I endorse confronting strangers. In today's world, it's usually too risky. You might get shot over something completely idiotic. However, if the situation seems safe and I feel like I have to say something - I usually say it. Some of my more memorable (humorous) episodes have been getting into a tiff at the Academy of Music with another patron and an attendent over a seating discrepancy (did NOT use the F-Bomb but I told the guy to "kiss my ass") , another tiff with a parking lot attendent in the city after they wanted me to pay for an hour for running inside and asking directions (the F-Bomb was used), my scrape with a company contracted by DirecTV when I moved 2 years ago (I told a Russian guy he better get in his truck and leave and he wisely did), my nose-to-nose with a guy in my Septa lot a few years ago who honked at me to make a left going into the lot between cars going 70 mph (I politely told him what I was going to do with his horn if he ever honked at me again), and the time my wife and I watched a woman in a parking lot let her cart roll away and slam into another car (I was semi-polite to her but I let her know how lousy it was to drive away). I had another small incident yesterday that was so small it didn't even register with me to tell my wife last night when I returned (my daughter was there anyway and I forgot once she went to bed). I went to Costco to buy a few items and as I was getting out of my car a woman between 35-45 was putting things in her truck and my right front bumper was near her left back bumber in the lot. Her cart was about 12" from my car. I had a feeling she was going to leave the cart there and it was very windy yesterday. i got out and started walking to the door and I turned around about 10 seconds later and the cart was still there - empty. I turned around and walked back and she was still standing at the side of her truck. I was VERY NON-confrontational but I asked her if she was planning on leaving the cart that close to my car. Without a care in the world, she just stared at me. I pointed out that the return bin was about 15 yards away. She replied "It's not like it's going anywhere" with the tone of a spoiled brat. If I was a cat my tail would have been bushy as she started to get in her vehicle. I took 5 more steps to get the cart myself as I said something like "lazy ass people make me sick" loud enough for her to hear me. What's wrong with people? I would have felt embarassed if I were her but I think she was proud and thought she was right. Take the extra steps.....it won't kill you and maybe you'll drop a few pounds while you're at it. I felt like pushing the cart into her truck but I squashed that feeling hoping she won't do it again. I think that's why I have to open my big mouth sometimes. I'm just hoping that maybe when she went to bed last night - she'll reflect and feel bad and maybe never do it again. Who knows. I at least felt better that I said something because I would have regretted it the rest of the day if I had not.

Odds Makers: Colts That Good or Stupid Fans?

The Vegas odds are out on winning the Super Bowl this year. You guessed it, the Colts are 3-1. The next closest team is the Seachickens at 6-1. The Steelers are 5th at 9-1! How on Earth can the Colts be picked that high when Manning's playoff record is 3-6? He has proven time and time again, both in the pros and in college, that he CANNOT get it done when it matters most. The world (outside of Indy) will continue to have that opinion until something is done to change it. How the Colts treat defense fascinates me. The fact that they paid both WRs crazy money, let 2 defensive starters go, signed a kicker to the highest kicker contract in the league and then let Edge go is suspect to me, but what do I know? I think running the ball and defense wins championships, but again, what do I know? So, question 1 is this: Is Coach Dungy happy with those decisions based on his penchant for defense? Would he speak out if he wasn't happy? Question 2: Are the odds 3-1 because the oddsmakers know the Colts fans will jump all over that "easy money" only to be shattered in the playoffs once again by the Stillers or Pats? Question 3: Is this the Barry Bonds effect football equivalent? People want homeruns! If the Colts score 42 points a game, their fans will be happy to keep racking up huge numbers in the regular season and then they are too "good-natured" to demand accountability in the end (kind of like their coach). Don't get me wrong - I'm not a hater. I enjoy watching the Colts play, especially at the beginning of last season when they were winning close low scoring games. I just think if they would have kept their 2 defenders, not signed the kicker, and taken a defensive player in the first round of the draft they would have been better off, but what do I know? This would be my serious question to the Colt's front office: I'm assuming Edge was let go and the WRs were kept because with their spread offense, their RB is never going to face 8-9 guys in the box. He might not even face 7! I should be able to run the ball for the Colts. Anytime Edge was hurt, the replacements did better than fine. So, why not take a RB later in the draft like the Broncos always do? I think Manning's success had more to do with Edge's success than most people realize. I think they wasted their pick this year. Time will tell. He might rush for 140 yards per game, but didn't their backups do the same thing when Edge was hurt? 3-1? Wow. Consider the Steelers feeling good and disrespected going into camp. Cowher is smiling ear-to-ear over that number. He likes a pissed-off team.

Yet Another Reason to Hate Flying

I'm supposed to go deep into West Virginia in June for a business trip. I hate connections and view them as a waste of time. From Philadelphia there is a direct flight for $1000. Can you explain that? You can fly to Florida for $139. So I see my trip is 467 miles and driving at or near 80 mph will get me there in 6 hours. 7 is more likely. From Philly airport I can make 1 connection to get there but it will then take 4-5 hours and still cost over $400. I check around for flights out of Allentown, Trenton, Wilmington, Baltimore and Harrisburg. Nothing is available that will be worth the drive first. If I'm going to drive up to 90 minutes to an airport - I need a direct flight from there or it's easier to just drive. Here's the kicker: There is a flight leaving from Harrisburg that connects in Philly for $365. I write down the flight number for the second leg and go back to check the direct flight from Philly - it's the SAME! From Philly it's a 1 hour and 10 minute flight. From Harrisburg it's about a 3.5 hour flight and $635 cheaper! So I'm thinking I'll buy the ticket for Harrisburg and then skip the first leg.....can't do it. The travel agent says if you are a no-show for leg 1, they cancel the entire itinerary. Looks like I'll be driving to WV. I know this cool place in Westminster, MD where I hear you can get a good meal and a few beers around 8 or 9 pm at night if you are a weary traveler.

Hannity & Colmes Agree For A Change

This is a good one <-------- Click Me!

Southwestern PA Image Hard To Shed

You know, growing up near the mountains of southwestern PA, you never really think about self image much if you don't travel to other parts of the country. Small town was all I knew, even though my "small" town had about 12,000 people in it. Once you move to a more urban area - you hear some of the jokes...."Pennsyltucky, mountain hick, from the sticks" that people in the Northeast use to describe Pittsburgh and the rest of the region around West Virginia. Maybe "Deliverance" started it all, maybe not, but the image is hard to shake sometimes. I defend Pittsburgh and the surrounding area well. It was voted most livable city in the early 90's and is no longer associated with being simply a dirty steel town. Not only that, my thoughts are that if you get outside of any major city about 45 miles - it's not that much different if it's Pittsburgh, Philadelphia or Boston. it's not like people that live 45 miles outside of Philly are going to coffee or martini bars, paying $4 for a cup of coffee or $35 for a filet dinner. Rural is rural. Yes, there are degrees, but it's not like being on another planet. Some would have you believe that downtown Pittsburgh is like another planet from (insert major city here that is not NYC). I'm not saying it's the cultural epicenter of the country, but it's not as bad as it's reputation. In fact, many people that I know in this area that travel to Pittsburgh actually have good things to say about it when they return....like they weren't expecting much. Anyway - my point is, I'm proud of where I came from and the values I have from growing up there (drumroll please) and just when you think it's safe after the Super Bowl win to shout from a rooftop "I'm from southwestern PA baby and proud of it!" this little nugget of information escapes from the area. This couple went to their high school prom wearing a gown and tux made from.....duct tape. Yup. Git'r done. Frasier, no less. Close to my home town. In fact, my wife's first cousin was homecoming queen there back in the 80's. When I was in college I worked a summer job with kids from Frasier. Duct Tape. It was part of a promotion for this kid to win a scholarship, but he also has a wallet and a hat that he uses that he made out of duct tape....before he even knew about the contest. I'm not going to include the story this time, it's too embarassing. If you want to find it - I'm sure you can google "Frasier duct tape prom virgin" and it will be the first item listed. Me? If this story makes my local paper here, the guys at work will say "Did you ever hear of Frasier, PA?" and I'll be forced to say "Frasier? Noooo, thats over where they filmed 'Deliverance' why?" They do make a cute couple though, don't they? I bet his dad wishes he would have duct taped his penis shut about 17 years ago.

Ebonics in Commercials?

No kidding. I was watching The Disney Channel this morning and a commercial for Build-A-Bear Workshop came on. The commercial featured nothing but mostly a head shot of a young African-American girl. She was talking about the entire process of building the bear. At the end of the commercial, almost as a throw-in she adds "You have to get you one." Are we to the point now where commercials for kids (little kids) are fair game to not use correct English? I'm not saying the girl should have said "Muffy, you simply haaaaaave to have one of these bears for yourself - they are daaaaaaarling." Adult shows, kids sitcoms, I almost expect slang or ebonics on these shows. The Proud Family uses ebonics in every episode - but it's also a silly cartoon. Kids know the difference between silly cartoons where anything can happen and reality. If you are making a commercial based on reality - then please don't insult our intelligence and not use proper English. That commercial is only going to reinforce kids using ebonics. God help them when they get to English class in grade school and they have to tell which sentence isn't correct. They won't be able to do it because they've been talking that way for years.

Steelers Training Video For All Linebackers

Featuring Jack Lambert.....my alltime favorite Steeler <------ Click It!

Evolution Of Dance

This is six minutes long but it has a few belly laughs in it <------ click here.

Rollin' Old Skool

My dad's best friend (and my bud too) recently sent me dvds of the Steelers in Super Bowls 13, 14 and 40. I tweaked my stupid hamstring again around Easter and I've been taking it easy and using a treadmill for the past week after taking 10 or so days off from running. I usually throw a movie in while I'm on the treadmill since I find it so boring so I reached for Super Bowl 13 one night this week. What i saw amazed me! I didn't even watch the entire first quarter but I watched everything that lead up to the beginning of the game and the Steelers first TD. I don't mean to pine for the old days, but this is just a sample of what came to my attention without me even trying to look for things:

* There was only about 20-25 minutes of pregame.

* Very few pregame graphics and weak ones at that. No exploding helmets! Single colors!

* The pregame introductions were by line, receivers (TEs), and backers (RB, FB, QB).

* Curt Gowdy made reference to the Steelers good "Specialty Teams". Allen can you comment here - did they always say that? I don't remember.

* Get this...no celebrations for tackles, no walking up field 5 yards after a tackle, no celebrations for routine catches.

* Unbelievable as it was, there wasn't a comemercial until the Steelers scored. There was a fumble recovery by the Steelers leading up to the TD and I was expecting a commercial and they just kept talking while the teams changed. I couldn't believe it. No TV timeouts on a change of possession.

* You have to remember I was just a kid when this game actually happened (12) . When Bradshaw retired circa '84 I was 16. When I started watching Brett Favre I was already in my mid 20's. On at least 2 or 3 plays already in the game I could tell Bradshaw had the same arm strength and gunslinger mentality. I watched him thread a 3rd down pass to Randy Grossman that he made moving backwards and got popped as he released it. It looked like Favre to me. Weird, really, that I made the connection that fast. As I was thinking it the guys in the booth said Bradshaw was the only QB in the league who would even attempt that pass.

* No graphics covering up the game. The entire screen was pure, beautiful - football.

* It's well into 8 or 9 minutes of the game and the time on the clock HAS NOT BEEN MENTIONED or DISPLAYED....anywhere. Even when they showed the score going into commercial - no time remaining.

* Also weird - no mention at all of Offensive or Defensive coordinators and after the team intros, I'm not sure they've showed Noll or Landry since!

* Lastly and then I'll update this list after I finsih the game, they had a boy's choir sing the National Anthem. No Hollywood types here! Just football.

They say you can't go back...........................................rats!

Slanted #7

Morris Proves He's Still On Drugs

Former Steelers running back Bam Morris has made it clear that he wants to return to the NFL. Yes, that Bam Morris. The one who was caught with enough weed in his trunk to keep Snoop Dogg and his dog pound high for a year. This just in....he's 34. Oh yeah, most fat 34 year olds can play in the NFL. Yup. Not sure if he'll be able to make any tryouts - he's busy playing in an indoor Texas league where he is paid $300 a game. He probably smokes that away before midnight on the day of the game. It's a shame really, but I'm glad Bam got himself into trouble. Do you realize if Bam hadn't decided to carry around a trunk full of reefer, we would have never traded for Bettis. Just think! Bam, not Bus. Not Super Bowl, Super Bust. Rhasta, not asthma. Heck, the more I think about it, Bettis should drive down to Texas and shake Bam's hand. Just think if Jerome had to sit on the Ram's bench in their doghouse one more year if the Steelers didn't trade for him. Maybe he would have let himself go. Maybe he would let himself get out of shape...maybe not make the team.....maybe start hanging around with the wrong people. Maybe HE would have filled his trunk up with whacky tobaccy and ended up in jail. Maybe I'd be poking fun at him right now. Bam had the nerve to say something like "If the Steelers would call me right now they wouldn't even have to buy me a ticket, I'd drive to the tryout." Ummmm, how can I put this politely? Don't hold your breath...unless your lungs are full of the chronic. Idiot. Here's the full article.

A Potentially Good Roundtrip Flight?

Well, I'm in Orlando this week for a User's meeting. I'm technical support for the salesman who is pushing my company's product to his core product's users. I was in a booth for a vendor's fair and I'm giving 3 demos. 2 were today. Kind of scary since I'm not used to talking to large groups of people - but I just went to the bar and a knocked back a few Ketel One and tonics first and everything went fine. Anyway I flew US Airways down and for the first time since I started traveling for business - nothing pissed me off about the flight. Decent sized seats, plenty of leg room, friendly help, no trouble in any lines, room in the overheads..... I have to say I couldn't find anything to complain about (which is weird for me). That leads me to one of two conclusions: 1. Everything will be fine again tomorrow and I'll continue to fly US Airways - or 2. the landing gear will fall off the plane somewhere over South Carolina and we'll be forced to belly land near Atlantic City off the coast. Things went so well Monday that I have a feeling the flying gods will be against me tomorrow. Here's looking forward to delays, reclined seats in front of me, a fat smelly woman on my right who wants to show me pictures of her trip, my car being towed when I get back to Philly airport, traffic jams trying to get home and realizing I don't have all my luggage when I finally arrive home at 10:32 PM from a flight that landed at 5:03 PM.

Slanted #6

For my favorite reader, "Big W", the small, pricklish creatures depicted in this comic are porcupines. If they were Guinea Pigs, the caption wouldn't make any sense. And that's not sour grapes (eggs?)! Please send me 1 copy of "Drawing For Dummies" and maybe I could actually make something of this.

Good Intentions, Bad Results

I'm confident the person who thought up the "Your Speed Is xx" signs found everywhere along our highways these days had good intentions. Typically they are placed near speed limit signs so offending drivers can say "Whoa! I'm going 42 in a 35 zone, I better slow down." My own neighborhood employs one of these very signs less than a mile from my home near a park that hosts numerous soccer and little league games. Being the good citizen that I am, I am usually appalled at myself when I find my lead foot pushing my car past 40 as I cruise past the park at 6:30 AM - right through the 25 mph zone. Granted, the only people out at that hour are dog walkers and gray beards, but I do try to pay attention to posted limits in neighborhoods, especially mine. Here's the problem I have with these signs...I have problems with authority figures. Just ask my Dad (who may comment on this rant)! My wife won't allow us to work on home projects together anymore because neither one of us likes being told what to do. I'll go so far as to say if you tell me not to jump - don't take your eyes off of me because I'm probably going to jump - just to piss you off or to see what the reaction will be. So, putting a sign that gives your current speed on the side of the expressway, visible half a mile away, in a 55 mph zone with no place for a patrol car to hide....well, that's like inserting Michael Jackson as a teacher into a daycare for mute kids. Am I going to suddenly look down, notice I'm going 78 and brake down to 55? No. Am I going to take my foot off the gas and drift down to 55? Nope. What I'm going to do is see if what's been called the best 6-banger ever built can get up to 3 digits before I get to the sign! Yes, that's what I'm saying. I think what started out as a good intention has now been turned into a challenge for lovers of speed. Sure, you can just check your speedometer, but maybe the sign collects data and it's a big F U to "the man" when he gets his report and sees the number that sticks out like a sore thumb: 57, 58, 56, 62, 58, 71, 58, 60, 103....103? Yeah, and I left some on the table! That is, until I got a ticket in the mail with a picture of the back of my car and a fine that rivals my mortgage payment! Nah, I'm just kidding about the ticket but I didn't quite know how to end this piece. Suffices to say, I think the signs are worthless on the highways. Keep them in the neighborhoods.

Santonio Is Going To Miss Much

The NFL passed a new rule few years ago that says draft picks cannot practice with their new teams until after their school's graduation. Santonio Holmes former school, Ohio State, does not have graduation until mid June! Most other players will be wih their teams by mid May. Missing the first mini camps will absolutely put him at a disadvantage. Hopefully he's going to immerse himself in the playbook and show up hungry. The NFL should really have a "hard" date so all rookies can begin the same day. Just my opinion, but as usual, a good one.

Slanted #5

Bonds Bopped in Large Pumpkin Head

Call it Karma, call it just desserts, call it the Spirit of The Babe........

Whatever you call it, I call it funny! <-------- Click Here

We Made A Move For Duckett

Reports are coming out that the Steelers tried to trade for TJ Duckett on draft day. I'm hoping we continue to monitor his situation in Atlanta as they drafted a back on the first day. Once camp starts, if their new back look sgood to them, TJ may be able to land in Da 'Burgh. Of course I contemplated this exact scenario a few months ago. I just don't trust Duce's health. I just don't. Here's what I thought a few months ago.........

Charles Robinson Is an Idiot

He writes for Yahoo sports. He is their main NFL man. He recently wrote a column about grading the draft. I am suggesting that Mr. Robinson knows little about most teams and arbitrarily assigned a letter grade to draft depending on how he felt at the moment. He added one paragraph to each assessment and there are 3 blatantly wrong assertions about the Steelers in this one paragraph and a few others that are questionable. The first..."The Steelers paid deeply to move up seven spots in the first round." Well, no we didn't. We had four 4th round picks and gave up our 1st, our 3rd and one of the 4ths. The real effect of this trade was that we swapped our 3rd round pick and made our highest 4th round pick our "real" 3rd round pick....which is hardly a big deal at all in my estimation, but what do I know? The second...."Safety Anthony Smith provides good depth at safety". Huh? Ok, dude, our safety left to go play with another team. The guy we signed to replace him is no standout. We needed to draft a good safety to play for the next 3-4 years until we determine his real value. What we did was draft a safety in the second round who most people didn't have on their draft boards and has been described as a "weak tackler". You use the 4th-7th rounds for depth. When you draft a safety in the second round, it better not be just for depth. Third...."DL Orien Harris could be starting by opening day." Mr. Robinson, I will bet you $1 million dollars that won't happen unless there is a bad injury to one of our starters. Starter? Are you kidding me? We just gave Keisel the deisel a HUGE contract to replace Kimo. Hampton is the unquestioned leader of the line and Aaron Smith is a key component on this team. How on God's green earth is a mid round pick going to start on this line? How long can this idiot write this drivel without being called on it by his superiors?

I'm Not Impressed

After letting the '06 draft marinate for a while, I have to say that I'm not very impressed by the Steelers picks. I think I said earlier that I'm OK with Santonio Holmes at #1, even though it may be 2-3 years before he busts out - but the rest of the draft looks pedestrian to me. Holmes could well take over the #1 WR position which would allow Ward to be the possession type receiver that he is. However, with Miller and Ward needing balls and the propensity of this offense to run, I still wonder if a drive blocking OL would have been a better choice. The second pick wasn't even on other team's radars and the third pick seems like a special teams pick. From reading the write-ups of the rest of the lot, unless they get coached up, it doesn't seem like any of them will be starters anytime soon and they might not even make the team. The center is supposed to be tough but lacks speed, size and athleticism. I will say this, the Steelers have done a superb job in the past of drafting who they want regardless of draft grade and teaching them the system. Hopefully, 2 or 3 of these guys will pan out. When you win the Super Bowl and don't lose too many players, there aren't a lot of spots to be won on the team anyway. I just can't remember the last time I've read/heard so much about a pick being out of alignment like I have with the #2 pick. According to most draftniks, there were plenty of other choices at this slot for a safety. Hopefully they saw something in this kid that nobody else did. I realize you can't coach speed and he's fast, but the reports on his tackling don't really describe him as a Steeler type player.