DIY? PBY!

I am very angry right now with the previous owner of my house. As Still A Dad can attest to - everything he did to this house, he managed to.....how can I say this politely.....bone up. Do it yourself? How about "Pay By Yourself". He is a complete moron when it comes to home improvement. Mr. Klein, you suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. My poor coworkers are sick to death of me complaining about you. No matter where I happen to be working at the time, rest assured, if I need to do something to the house and it's an area that Mr. Klein had his grubby little fingers in....I will have to "Unbone" something that he "boned up". The laundry list of items is too long to get into tonight. All I can do is tell you about the current deal. From the moment we bought this house four years ago, I've hated the ceramic tile floor. We had vinyl in our first house and I always wanted tile, but not this tile....installed in this manner. Jackass did it himself and I don't think he read a damn thing about it before he did it. First, the tiles were cheap. If you go to Home Depot and look in the tile section...the ones at the end of the row marked .99 per square foot....those are them! He chose a light tan grout, the tiles themselves are porous and I don't think he sealed either after completing the job. Why? Because I can see every water mark and count the rings where water sits in the grout. Did I mention he sucks? He piled up grout in corners to where it looked like an ant hill. He didn't remove the baseboards, instead he grouted the tiles to the baseboards and all doorway trim and thresholds. Basically, it looked like shit. So, we picked out a nice maple Bruce hardwood floor. I'm refinishing the cabinets in the same color and we're changing all the hardware to match the brushed nickel trim that's on some of our appliances. Do I want to rip out the old floor myself? No. Do I want to pay someone $3.50 per square foot to take it out? No. I'll do it myself and save $950. Do I want to pay $45 to have the fridge moved? $45 for the oven? $150 for the toilet? $150 for the pedestal sink? No. No. No. No. I move the stuff. I rip out the tile. Easy pickins. I go to rip up the backerboard. Nothing. Won't even start. I dig, rip and claw a keyhole to start. Takes a long time. I go to Home Depot and buy a $20 shovel handle scraper thingy....nice. The next morning, I start again. I have about 10 days to the install. Nothing. I go online and read a little about this project in news groups. It says it should rip right up......unless it's glued down. What then? Well, basically, you're "boned". I see screws. I start taking screws out. The crazy F'er had a screw about every 2 inches and I'm not kidding. I am NOT kidding. I knew I wasn't going to do this myself. I hired a dude off of CL to do it for me for $300. I interviewed him and selected him from over 40 applicants. He got an entire 3x5 sheet off and wasn't happy. He said if you are going to glue with liquid nails or construction adhesive - you need not screw. Also, you needed a bead of glue down both sides of the backerboard. Mr. Klein put "snakes" or "worms" down the length of the boards....every 2 inches....then he put a screw in every 2 inches around the perimeter and a few in the middle (for good measure). Basically, you could barely get a spoon under this stuff let alone a shovel or scraper. There was no wiggle room. Hired dude originally thought he would be done by noon starting at 7:30. At 3:30, drenched in sweat and almost crying (I think), he said he was done. He gave up. I couldn't blame him. Why? Mr. Klein is an asshole. Hired dude said it was the most ambitious glue application he had ever seen and guessed a tube per sheet was used. He had snakes, worms, X's, and bullseyes on the floor. He said commercial jobs for offices and restaraunts do not require that amount of anchoring. After dude left, I worked for another 2 hours myself. I decided in order to not have the installer try to kill me, I'd call him and get his advice. He came over today while I was at work to survey. My wife said his face went blank when he saw the sheer amount of glue still on the floor with remnants of backerboard on it. He said if I got off more in a few hours tonight, he would come back tomorrow and finish and then put another layer of plywood over the mess Mr. Klein left. It would be an easier install knowing that a slightly raised piece of glue or a hammered in screw or staple wouldn't pop back up and mess up the job. I guess I forgot to mention the staples. When taking up the glue, you need to slide the scraper into it. It needs to not hit anything as you are gaining momentum. Also still on the floor are the staples from the original floor he had down. He didn't remove them before he put the backerboard down. Again, very hard to do anything with staples mixed in with this stuff. I got home at 5 and with sweat dripping off my face every second in a very cool air-conditioned 73 degree room......spent another 4 hours working this stuff up. My hands are torn up as thrusting this scraper at 7 year old glue and small staples and having it stop abruptly puts a tremendous amount of force on the body. I feel old. Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal old. This floor better be worth it, or me, the dude and the installers are going to get his new address, go over there, and beat him senseless with bars of soap wrapped in towels. Pictures when I get my FiOS back. I'm still "piggybacking" off of a neighbor.