DOG: What Are You Listening To Now? #9

All 4 of you who read this blog have seen my musical tastes run the gamut from Rock to Roll to Rhythm to Blues to Jazz to African JuJu and back again. But I know what you're saying... "Don't the Dog listen to no Country?"

Why Hell yes I listen to Country. But I don't listen to this over produced bullshit they call "Country" nowadays. No Kenny Chesney for me. I listen to the real pickers and have been into bluegrass for many many years thanks to Jerry Gray of WAMU-FM 88.5 in Washington DC. Don't try to find him. They took Jerry and his private collection of rare bluegrass albums off the air several years ago.

So what you're going to see is a list of what I've been listening to most generally along the border of the curious hinterland where country, bluegrass, blues, and rock-a-billy merged. You see, back in the 1950s (like the song says) the blues had a baby and they called the baby rock and roll. But the blues also had twins named gospel and soul. And if you listen to the country records from that time there was a whole lot of blues in there. What I've been running across lately are a good number of vinyl rips of Various Artist albums from the 1950s that contain an amazing blend of artists. It is not uncommon to see Surf Guitar king Dick Dale on the same album as people as diverse as Carl Perkins, Jerry Reed, Johnny Otis, Conway Twitty, Champion Jack DuPree, and even Roy Buchanan. Everybody tried to get in on the gravy train that was Rock and Roll it seems. Anyway, as a result I've discovered some jaw-dropping stuff in addition to my usual forays into blues-jazz etc. So here's what I'm listening to for right now:

10. Joanne Shaw Taylor - White Sugar. I'd describe it as top-notch blues-rock.

9. John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers - Road Dogs.

8. Super Chikan - Sum' Mo' Chikan. All I can say is check the dude out.

7. Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder - History of The Future. Cowboy hat's off to Ricky who gave up making big Nashville $$ for the chance to make real American bluegrass music.

6. Cab Calloway - Are You Hep To The Jive?

5. Waylon Jennings - Waylon Live. Boy, this is 40 tracks of smokin' Outlaw Country.

4. Doc & Merle Watson - Two Nights In November. I used to think that Doc Watson was the greatest flat picker ever... until I heard the guys at 3, 2, & 1 on this list!

3. Joe & Rose Maphis - Hot Time In Nashville.

2. Joe Maphis - Fast Fingers. This is hotter than any metal shred you ever heard. It's like the man invented shred guitar... except he also plays fiddle, mandolin, upright bass, and banjo AND he shreds on all of them!!

And #1 (and it ain't close folks)... Merle Travis & Joe Maphis - Country Guitar Giants.

This album, released in 1979, is quite likely one of the greatest guitar albums ever recorded. These two are virtuosos no doubt. But they blend together seamlessly. Maphis on his custom Mosrite double neck sounds like two guitarists at once. And when Travis joins in on his hollow body Gibson, it sometimes sounds like 4 guitar parts! I know about Chet Atkins, Les Paul, Roy Clark, and of course I grew up on Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton, Roy Buchanan, and Danny Gatton. I am familiar with Joe Pass and Wes Montgomery. But I've never heard the guitar played like these two play it on here. I started spinning records when I was 3 years old and I ain't never heard nothin' like this.

DOG: Virginia Farm Boy Signs 6 Year Deal

Heath Miller, former #1 draft choice of the Pittsburgh Stillers from the U. of Virginia, signed a 6 year contract extension that makes him the third highest paid Tight End in the NFL. But what it really does is give our front office lots of room to work next year and locks up one of the best TEs the Stillers have ever had.

As Hines Ward ages, Heath Miller will become more important in the Stiller offense as a possession and red-zone receiver. I do not believe Heath has reached his full potential as a player. But that is mainly due to some nagging injuries and how he is utilized within the context of the overall offensive scheme. I expect that to change starting Friday... that is if my buddy, Mr. Arians, is listening.

Next up at the bargaining table are Ryan Clark, Bret Keisel and "Fat" Casey Hampton. These three are the next starters whose contracts will be up at the end of next season. And we all know the Stillers don't discuss contracts once the regular season begins.

Camp opens tomorrow and contractually, we've done as much as possible to be ready for the season. HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

DOG: Invasion of the Shitbirds

Yes, much like the Alfred Hitchcock thriller, "The Birds," thousands upon thousands of Shitbirds and their shitbrained fans will invade my peaceful adopted hometown for training camp starting today. It is generally a bitter few weeks for me and the many other Stiller fans out here.

The entire region bares it's idiocy for all to see. The local merchants are the worst. Displaying "Ravenstown" banners and sporting anything purple and black in an attempt to suck the green out of the Raven faithful as they follow their team through practices at McDaniel College.

Back in the day when training camp started in around July 20 and lasted the first two weeks of August it was said that the local Popeye's Chicken franchise did enough business to cover their operating expenses for the entire year. So whatever business they did the other 11 months was pure profit. This was due as much because of the influx of fans as of the Raven players themselves having a little late night snack.

The Shitbirds have a little shitstorm brewing. Derrick Mason announced his retirement but the local idiots think he will pull a Brett Favre and come back. I don't think so. They signed a white guy who has caught 1 pass in an NFL game in the last 2 years to take his place at WR but 2 days later he decided he didn't want to be a Shitbird either so he also retired. The dumbasses cut Matt Stover, one of the most reliable kickers in NFL history. So in camp they are trying out two strong legs who can't hit the broad side of a barn. If you thought cutting Trent Dilfer was dumb, try cutting Matt Stover on for size!

Willis Magahee is in a contract year so he'll be competing hard with Ray Rice for the feature back position. Their best back, LeRon McClain, will be relegated to fullback blocking duties this year.

In addition, their #1 draft choice, Michael Oher, remains unsigned so he will be missing at least some of training camp.

All this points to the fact that the Ravens will likely slip a little from their strong 2008 showing. But they still try to be like the Stillers in everything they do and it is a copycat league so who can blame them?

So we must be ready for them. Unlike how I am never ready for their annual invasion each summer. Can you imagine going to the grocery store and running into a dozen people dressed like the douche pictured above? You ask yourself. "Are these people just stupid or is it Halloween already?"

DOG: McNutty- TV Repair Woman? I Don't Think So

Andrea McNutty. Just what in the world are we dealing with here in Stiller Nation? Let me outline some of the things she might be.

McNutty might be a hotel concierge for VIP guests. But that means she'll have to work with at least 8 people she's filed a lawsuit against. The possibility of a less congenial work environment most assuredly awaits her.

McNutty might be the Easter Bunny (look at those teeth) but I'm not checking what comes out of her ass to see if it looks more like an egg or Cocoa Puffs!

McNutty might be a certifiable whack-job if the story of her delusional engagement to a soldier who never existed and his subsequent death in Iraq, turns out to be true.

McNutty might be a TV repair woman if she can fix a hotel TV by playing with a guest's knobs and adjusting his tube.

McNutty might be a liar taking a chance on the crapshoot that is the American Justice system.

And if she is, she does all female assault victims everywhere a great disservice. It takes just one nut-job making up stories about sex with celebrities and engagements to invisible men for society to cast doubt upon the stories of real victims of sexual assaults and rapes. Assaults and rapes that DO get treated at hospitals and DO get reported to the cops. Real crimes that go unprosecuted or unconvicted because people remember the money-grab logic of "victims" who lied about them in other cases.

McNutty may also be an assault victim. But her story smells mighty fishy. And you know what I always say... "There's only two things that smell like fish. And one of them's fish."

FAN: Blue Collar Dedication

Geez, Photo Shop is time consuming. If you find this funny and want to forward it - do Stilladog and I a favor by sending a link to us instead of copying off the image. Always looking to find more readers, or have them find us.

FAN: I Had Cronkite "Who's Next?"

Wow. I forgot I actually picked him. Which begs the question, "Who's next?".

I'll take Scott Weiland.

FAN: Roethlisberger Rapist?

Ok, before we all pile on too early about this story, lets please hope it ends up more like this story from a few years ago. It's going to be very hard to prove a year after the fact and both can claim their own side to the story. I need to wait for more details to come out. All I can say right now is that if it's not true - I feel bad for the Rooney family that they can't even enjoy the entire off-season after winning it all. Everybody was just starting to forget about the helmet incident and now this. Let's also remember the entire Duke Lacrosse witch hunt which cost kids an entire season was completely fabricated. If he's found guilty, I'll have plenty to say. If the girl tried to extort money or had consenual sex and was then mad about being rebuffed - it's pretty lame. Sigh. Look, Roethlisberger isn't nearly as Hollywood as a Matt Leinhart or Tammy Brady, but he also isn't invisible ala Drew Brees. I think it would be very good for his career to settle down and get married and have a kid. I want my franchise quarterback serious about the next 10 years.

DOG: Attack of the Dust Bunnies

After several weeks of downtime on my computer about a month ago, I thought I was home free with my operating system restored, my anti-virus updated, my core applications up and running. I was back to posting the occasional story and commenting on Fan's posts again.

But Friday night they struck. After returning home from dinner I decided to reply to an email I had read earlier. I booted up the computer and... beeeeep beep beep beep and then from inside the tower a nasty growl. And the computer stopped (except for the growling).

It did not even attempt to load the operating system. I figured, RAM malfunction. Bad memory card or something. So I shut it down and tried again. Same result. Let it sit until Saturday morning. Same result.

On Sunday I tore the damn thing apart and what did I find? Dust Bunnies had attacked my memory card with a vengeance. There was so much dirt and dust in and around the card connection that the memory wasn't even being recognized!!

So out to the garage I went to find my trusty can of "Clean Blow" stolen from the company I worked for in 1989 (and once almost endorsed by Ron Jeremy). So, armed with my "Clean Blow" I huffed and puffed and blew them nasty Dust Bunnies clean into the next county. I rebooted and everything is cool.

The moral of the story is: If your computer won't boot up. Blow the Bunnies away and try again. Might save you the 2 grand for a new computer... which Mrs. Dog was just a click or two away from when the recovery was completed.

FAN: Pool Rules

Speaking of sneaking food into places, I've never understood the logic of the swim club we belong to. They have a snack bar that is run by an outside vendor. No issues there. We even eat at it most of the time we are at the pool during normal meal hours. The prices aren't horrible but they aren't McFriendly either. Stroke goes to the on grounds camp and swims for the club team. We used to pick her up from camp and just stay at the pool with other families in our clique. We would take turns buying several hoagies or burgers or pizzas and bringing them in or meeting a delivery guy at the gate. On weekends we pack a cooler but even on those days we still spend ten dollars minimum at their snackbar. They started a policy where you can't bring in outside food from a vendor. My friend challenged them to show him that in his contract. He was told it will be next year and this was more of a polite request this year. I don't understand the logic of just banning other vendor food. I am allowed to walk in with my cooler full of baloney sandwiches but not with a bag of Quizo' subs. Well, what if I put the Quizo's subs in my cooler in the car and walk them in. That seems to be the new normal. They don't sell pizza here but I can't walk my own in? However, if I bought a pizza last night and had half leftover, I'm sure its perfectly acceptable to bring day old pizza wrapped in foil. What the fig is the difference? Where is the logic? Like right now there is a cooler sitting next to me with a few cold drinks in it but no Diet Coke. Well, I want one so I'm going to go pay $1.50 for one.
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FAN: Movie Prices

Just three months ago I posted this about movie prices. Yesterday I took Still A Stroke to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and I thought it would be terribly crowded and maybe I shouldn't walk in with a Big Gulp. I decided to throw caution to the wind and use the snack bar instead. I told her we would share a beverage of her choice and she chose water. Cool. I wasn't even looking at prices. She chose a bag of fruit snacks and I grabbed a box of chocolate covered raisins. When I asked for a bottle of water the dude said the large bottle was only a quarter more so I approved the upgrade. I told Stroke the total would be $10. Not understanding the economics of rape, she guessed $3. $11.50 said the dude. I watched him ring in $3.50 twice for the candy, so that means the water was $4.50? How much is the water? $4.50. I just started started laughing out loud. I couldn't help myself. I expect to pay more there. Absolutely. But they have now taken America's favorite cheap option off the table as a cheap option. True, it was a huge bottle, 1 full liter. Still, the liter should cost about .79. We've bought cases of water on sale for $1.99. I wanted to scream "Fack you and your overpriced movie snacks you pimply faced little dweeb....." but I didn't. The movie is two and a half hours long. We will both be thirsty. Sigh. I guess next time we go back to the big shoulder bags and hidden snacks. The easy solution is to only watch movies at home, but I am a fan of the whole experience. I actually like going to the theater to see popular new releases on the big screen. I love the smell of popcorn and the way my feet stick to the floor after I take my seat. If I owned a theater, I think for one month I would make the prices more inline with a convenience store to see if I would garner more money by selling more product at lower prices. The fact that it's dark inside really encourages people to bring their own. I heard more than one canned carbonated beverage open while in there. I'm not the type to bring food into Magic Kingdom in a backpack. Again, I'm there to take it all in and not have a care in the world. At Great Wolf Lodge, I'll pay $4.50 for a hamburger in order to not have my daughter popping open a can of microwaved mac-n-cheese to eat a room temperature like we saw some families doing the last time we were there. Once the lights go out at the movies? It's on.

Talkin' Blues With Michael Burks

Last night I went to see Michael Burks in Hanover, PA. What a night, and what a performance!

He took the stage at 8:55pm and played one continuous set until 12:15am. That 3 hours and 20 minutes, folks. The REAL Endless Boogie. He played the Les Paul pictured above exclusively. He had the Flying V with him but when I tried to get him to play one more song for an encore on it he told me "Ohhhh man, I just got that out here for a backup."

The sound needed some adjusting as his bass man and keyboard player overshadowed him especially any time the song went fortissimo or higher. But otherwise, he just tore it up and tore it down. Obviously he played way more stuff than is on any of his albums. I don't think there's but 3 hours of music on the four albums I have of him.

But the coolest thing -and I say this about blues musicians all the time- was talking with him after the show. Man, we talked guitars, we talked other blues guitarists, we talked touring on the road, we talked Bill Clinton (who grew up 19 miles from Michael's home), we talked kinds of stuff.

He said his father was the greatest influence on his life and career. Said he took guitar lessons as a youngster but one day the teacher told his dad "I can't teach him no more. He just got to go find it now." The top two guitarists who he listened to and influenced him? Joe Pass and Wes Montgomery. No surprises there. He has the chops of a jazz guitarist for sure. But he also mentioned Albert and Freddy King. And he said as a teenager he loved Carlos Santana.

But he was just like any other guy you'd strike up a conversation with at the bar such as the drummer, "Popcorn." This is the dude who keeps it all together for Burk's band. Michael is the leader but Popcorn is in charge once a song gets started. This dude was way cool too. We was talking and he offered me some of his chicken nuggets (Popcorn don't miss too many meals). But it was past 1 o'clock in the morning and I passed on the nuggets. I asked Popcorn why they weren't selling any CDs. He said you got to ask Michael. At which point I told Popcorn if they had any real marketing punch behind the band they'd be calling Michael Burks "The Black Clapton." Popcorn thought that was funny as shit so he made me repeat it for Michael. But it's true. This guy has amazing chops on the guitar. Plays an absolutely awesome slide guitar too. So I asked him where the CD sales were. He said they sold out last week at "some festival in Virginia." Said, "I been in touch with Bruce (Bruce Iglauer, President of Alligator Records) but I'm on the road and we can't find a place for him to ship more to me."

So today Michael is rolling the Dodge van with the trailer full of amps and equipment out of the south central PA farmland up to New England for two nights and then back down to Morrisville, PA for the Bucks County Festival on Saturday. Trying to save up enough money for a tour bus.

Playing music is a hard way to make a living. I just hope it gets easier for a guy like Burks who is very talented and works hard too. As Honey Piazza says, "We get paid to sleep in hotel rooms and drive a van full of equipment all over God's creation. We play the music for fun."

FAN: Yardsale Music Scores

This is getting to be too easy. Still A Stroke and I went out to a few local yardsales this morning advertised on Craigslist. We were never more than 3-4 miles from the house and by quick count we went to 8. I added 6 cds to my collection for the grand total of $9. What's funny about the total is that a quick check of secondspin.com shows that one of the ones I paid $2 for (Miles Davis Bitch's Brew, a double cd) they will pay $10 for. What's crazy about the purchase is that I only bought that cd because of the potential resell value. The guy had his cds marked way too high at $3 a piece or 2 for $5. I found two that I wanted (Midnight Oil and Silverchair) but couldn't find a third. Why did I want a third? Because you NEVER pay what the person running the yardsale wants. If they want 2 for $5, you ask if you can have 3 for $5. They said yes and I picked the Miles cd. When the guy said "Oh I didn't know you were going to pick a double cd as the third", I threw the crying bitch an extra single. The rest of the sales were strikesouts until we got back to my neighborhood. Someone was selling cds for $1 and I picked up Anthology of Bread, BTO's Greatest and Queens of the Stoneage. I already ripped the 6 and am now ready to create my order for secondspin which is worth $19. True, it's only $10, but I got 6 cds plus $10 in my eyes. I still like that feeling of seeing a box of cds. I need secondspin.com to play nice with my Blackberry browser so I can see the resell value realtime. The $10 for Miles is the best buyback price I've had. Second was Floyd's delicate Sound Of Thunder at $7.50.

FAN: McNair Getting Some Strange

I am so freaking sick and tired of reading pompous assholes tell me how Steve McNair's death was so much different than how he pretended to live. What? They compare his charity work with getting shot by a lover. Ladies and gentlemen, the man was not robbing banks. He wasn't beating his wife (or his children). He wasn't drowning dogs. Hell, he probably wasn't even stealing cable. He was HORNY. For Christ's sake shut up already! He wasn't selling drugs and was shot. He wasn't gambling and owed someone money and was shot. The man simply wanted some "strange" and chose poorly. How the hell that makes him less of a good human being, I'll never know. I'm going to guess Mrs. McNair was closed for business so he had to open a franchise. Don Banks of SI.com pontificated for 10 paragraphs about how you never really know somebody and I was laughing the entire way through it. Take out the part where he got shot by a crazy bitch and what happened? He was cheating on his wife. Oh My God! What percentage of married NFL players does Don Banks think cheat on their wives? I'm going to say a conservative estimate is 80%. Seriously! 80%. Banks just needed to turn in a story and took the easy way out. If he believes anything he said he is a stone cold moron. I hated McNair because of who he played for. From what I read he did a ton of good things off the field. He didn't shoot a hooker or end up dead in a closet in pantyhose with his nads tied up for greater masturbatory pleasure like Hung-Fu. He got shot. He got shot. Let that sink in you idiotic windbags.

DOG: The Answer To The "Who's Next?" Post

And the winner is.....

None other than our old arch-nemesis, former Tennessee Tittian and Baltimore Shitbird quarterback, Steve "Air" McNair.

McNair was shot in the head in Nashville, TN sometime in the past 24 hours. Also found dead with him was a woman who was not his wife. Murder suicide? Double murder? Who knows?

But Abe Vigoda lives on as do Patrick Swayze, Walter Kronkite, Amy Winehouse, and Kim Il-Young. So better luck next time gang as we all try to guess...

Who's next?

DOG: It's Football Season!!

So I was using my Independence Day holiday to trim my hedges this morning and I took a break for lunch. Turned on the tube and found myself in a game of TV roulette by randomly selecting a channel trying to avoid more Michael Jackson coverage. That's when I chanced upon last night's game between the Edmonton Eskimoes and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. What luck! This after just posting below how I am jonesing seriously for football.

Great game. Edmonton won 19-17. Found out that Jared Zabransky, from Boise State, who was cut by the Stillers in training camp last year is Edmonton's backup QB.

Until the NFL starts I will watch these CFL games. It's better than boring myself to sleep with baseball. I'm familiar with the CFL rules as a result of seeing numerous Baltimore Stallions games when they played here and won the Grey Cup back in '95. At that time former Stiller punter Josh Miller played for the Stallions. That was way before he made it to the NFL and became Bill Cower's favorite whipping boy.

A lot of good players have come up from the CFL. The Flutie brothers, Darren and Doug both had all-star careers in Canada. Doug won 3 Grey Cups with 2 different teams while Darren is the second leading receiver in CFL history. Warren Moon won 5 consecutive Grey Cups in Edmonton before coming to the NFL. Jeff Garcia got his start in the CFL. Bo Scott, from Fan's and my hometown, played for the now defunct Ottawa Roughriders before spending several years in the Cleveland Browns backfield with LeRoy Kelly. So it's definitely worth watching. In fact, this year we've got a little guy named Stephan Logan who last year was the star for the British Columbia Lions trying to make the Stillers. He's supposed to be an exciting return man, we shall see. He must be good. Because the folks in Vancouver are hoping he gets cut by Pittsburgh so they can resign him.

And that's another interesting thing about the CFL. Their regular season starts at the end of June. Which means they play for the Grey Cup around Thanksgiving or first week of December. But it also means the rosters they start the season with can and do vary greatly from June-August vs. September-November. That's because they scour the NFL rosters for those guys who didn't make the practice squads. Then they scoop them up and improve their rosters, sometimes dramatically. Anyway, if you're like me and can't wait for football, they're on TSN. Check your local listings for the game in your area.

DOG: Big Bens Ready For #7!

In just a few weeks Stiller Training Camp will open in Latrobe. And I believe Big Ben Roethlisberger is poised lead the team to a 7th Lombardi Trophy, matching his jersey number.

So while visiting Big Ben in London last month, Mrs. Dog donned her Big Ben "7" jersey in front of.... well, Big Ben.

I can't wait for football season to start. Here We Go!!

FAN: I Got Cooties

The Big Giant Company let us off work today at noon. Superb. The only thing that sucked about it is that I was in at 7 AM. The folks who got in at 8:30 caught a break today. Anyway, since I was done early I volunteered to take my daughter to a birthday party because it was most of the way to a used CD store I've been meaning to check out. While there I checked out the Blues section which I was a little disappointed in. It was sparse on CD. They had more vinyl than discs for Blues. It seemed like more 60's and 70's rock to me on CD but it's all good. I love looking at music. Just the smell of the vinyl jackets is enough to send me over the edge sometimes. I sent Stilladog a text because I saw an interesting CD and the price was right. Cootie Stark's Sugar Man. Dog didn't have it so I picked it up. I really like it a lot. Right up my alley. I found myself bobbing along to the first track on my way home. While Cootie was a stand-up double considering the price, I struck out on my second purchase. I feel like taking it back but since it's a used local store - I'll suck it up and consider it my civic duty to support small businesses and keep the turd. The marketing got me - I have to admit it. I bought Carolina Chocolate Drops "Dona Got A Ramblin' Mind". I hope somebody besides the Dog just read that and laughed as it's a little bit of an inside joke. Anyway, while I want to be eveolved and say I can appreciate the music - the store totally had this mislabeled as Blues. It's not even close. I'm not even sure I would call it "roots" music. It sounds more folkish than anything on the "O Brother Where art Thou" soundtrack to me. In fact, I can describe it well as I made Still A Stroke laugh in the car when I put it in. It sounds like something that would be playing in the background while watching a Civil War documentary. Something Pa would play and clap to on Little House on the Prarie. I'll be selling this one back to the place where I can do the best. Not even sure I'll keep it on my iPod as I can't think for a second why I would ever listen to it again. In fact, I only listened to enough of each song to say..."Yup, just like the last one". Oh well, walking around the store and seeing old familiar album art made me smile. I would have loved to rip the two nose rings out of the skinny jeans wearing hipster working the counter, but I didn't have time for the police to come and question me. Here's a clip of Cootie Stark. In the end Dog could have given me Cootie, but like I said, I enjoyed my hour plus int he store and it's local so it's all good. Stay at YouTube and search for some CCD to see if you like it. I see from the comments it's identified as "Old-Time". The Bluegrass fans got angry when people referred to them as Bluegrass. Lol. Wow. I didn't really there were angry splinter groups!

FAN: I am Seeeek

I think this little fella's last words were "I feel deeeeezy. I am seeeek.". Not sure why I suppose he has (or had) a Spanish accent.
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