Yes, much like the Alfred Hitchcock thriller, "The Birds," thousands upon thousands of Shitbirds and their shitbrained fans will invade my peaceful adopted hometown for training camp starting today. It is generally a bitter few weeks for me and the many other Stiller fans out here. The entire region bares it's idiocy for all to see. The local merchants are the worst. Displaying "Ravenstown" banners and sporting anything purple and black in an attempt to suck the green out of the Raven faithful as they follow their team through practices at McDaniel College.
Back in the day when training camp started in around July 20 and lasted the first two weeks of August it was said that the local Popeye's Chicken franchise did enough business to cover their operating expenses for the entire year. So whatever business they did the other 11 months was pure profit. This was due as much because of the influx of fans as of the Raven players themselves having a little late night snack.
The Shitbirds have a little shitstorm brewing. Derrick Mason announced his retirement but the local idiots think he will pull a Brett Favre and come back. I don't think so. They signed a white guy who has caught 1 pass in an NFL game in the last 2 years to take his place at WR but 2 days later he decided he didn't want to be a Shitbird either so he also retired. The dumbasses cut Matt Stover, one of the most reliable kickers in NFL history. So in camp they are trying out two strong legs who can't hit the broad side of a barn. If you thought cutting Trent Dilfer was dumb, try cutting Matt Stover on for size!
Willis Magahee is in a contract year so he'll be competing hard with Ray Rice for the feature back position. Their best back, LeRon McClain, will be relegated to fullback blocking duties this year.
In addition, their #1 draft choice, Michael Oher, remains unsigned so he will be missing at least some of training camp.
All this points to the fact that the Ravens will likely slip a little from their strong 2008 showing. But they still try to be like the Stillers in everything they do and it is a copycat league so who can blame them?
So we must be ready for them. Unlike how I am never ready for their annual invasion each summer. Can you imagine going to the grocery store and running into a dozen people dressed like the douche pictured above? You ask yourself. "Are these people just stupid or is it Halloween already?"
5 comments:
They sound like the Pittsburgh Pirates - getting rid of people that actually have some talent.
Great picture - I laughed a lot at that one.
the ravens? are they a football team?
Lately, talk around the Burgh is that the Steelers might take Vick as a back up QB. While I doubt that would happen can you imagine Benny and Vick? Don't let those two party together is all I have to say! Benny would be having sex with the dogs (which he obviously already has done) and Vick would be betting on which woman would win a fight.
We already have Vick in Pittsburgh. His name is Dennis Dixon. He's Michael Vick without the criminal record and the public relations baggage.
And While, are you saying you never had sex with a "DOG"? You have no idea what you're missing!
Dog - I love you!
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