DOG: My Balls Are Smokin'!

"Before"

We haven't had any grilling, smoking, or otherwise outdoor cooking posts in quite a few inches of snow. So with 90 degree heat already clobbering us on the East Coast it's time to clean up the grills and get out on the decks, back porches, patios, and backyards of America and start cooking!

Normally I don't let snow stop me from outdoor cooking. I've grilled T-bone steaks in 8" of snow and smoked trout in January temps in single digits. But this year I just spent way too much time just clearing a path for us to walk and my dogs to pee (to say nothing of 10 hours of shoveling off my freaking roof!) that I had nothing left for outdoor cooking. But I got off to a roaring start last Saturday.

I had my in-laws over and my son's family and we blew it out on our patio on a beautiful weekend. The main course was two smoked whole chickens. I roasted broccoli with garlic and made a big pot of haluski. Mrs. Dog made some homemade mac & cheese. But I always have to try some crazy shit when the in-laws are my taste testers. So for an appetizer I made Portobello Pizzas which are portobello mushrooms roasted then spread with tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and whatever you like to top them with and cooked 10 min. more until the cheese melts. I used red peppers and Italian seasoning but you could use any topping you like. And... because I had room on the smoker grid for them, I whipped up a dozen meatballs with my secret ingredient. Well, it's not really a secret cause I posted it on this blog a long time ago (click here to go back in time). But it's Billy Bee Honey Mustard.

I wrapped my balls in apple smoked bacon which was appropriate cause I was using apple wood to smoke the chickens. Apple chips work really good for smoking poultry. And I put them in with my chickens.

For some reason I had a devil of a time keeping the smoker temperature between 200-220. It kept dipping below 200 even when I added more charcoal. But I allowed for this possibility by putting the chickens on half an hour before I originally planned and that was a blessing. I never opened the lid one time in 4 hours for fear of losing heat. 'Cause you always know what I say about opening the smoker lid. And if you get nothing more from this post, know this: "When you're lookin' you're not cookin'."

Temperature regulation challenges aside, my birds and my balls were done right on time at 3:45pm. I served the mushroom pizzas and meatballs to everyone for their appetizers and both were real good. But my in-laws were doing somersaults on the lawn for the smoked meatballs. Shit, my 70-something year old father-in-law asked if I had a ring of fire he could jump through for the recipe!! But sadly, I explained that I had given my ring of fire to Johnny Cash some years back.

We had a great meal and a real nice family gathering. And the star of the day was the bacon wrapped smoked meatballs. This is evidenced by the after picture. I set a dozen meatballs on the table, went in the house for my camera, and by the time I returned probably 60 seconds later only 4 meatballs were left for my "after" photo.

My 6 year old grill is about shot so I'll probably be doing most of my outdoor cooking on the smoker... unless King Obama gives me some of my income tax money back to me to buy a new grill. So when I come up with another smoker story I'll post it here.

* I apologize for the title. Yinz probly thought it was another Ben Roethlisberger story.

"After" with a couple Portobello Pizzas