FAN: Lame Duck My Ass

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing about President Bush being a "lame duck" President. I watched that clip of him on YouTube about 20 times and he's a damn good ducker. At minimum he's better than Lincoln and Kennedy. If he could duck questions like he ducks shoes, maybe his legacy wouldn't be tarnished. If anyone should be criticized here it's the Secret Service. How on Earth did this dude get off the second shoe? I mean, I'm sure he took it off prior to the incident, but how did he have time to throw both of them? Trust me, his feet probably smelled of salami. The dudes sitting around him had to know something was up. I am sick and tired of these Arabs messing up American shoe etiquette. First Richard Reid tried to take down a commercial flight by lighting his shoes and now this assclown tries to take out the President with his. Yet, it's ME who has to take off his shoes just to board a plane. I don't light mine. I don't throw mine. Mine don't stink.....yes ladies, I have about 200 miles on my newest pair of Asics Nebulus....and the only thing they smell like is new shoes. It must be a gift passed on to me from Still A Dad. Now, I can't say the same thing about my breath in the morning or my armpits after a day or two of not showering, but the feet.....they don't stink. There will be those of you reading this who know who I mean when I say Still A Belly. Still A Belly could take his shoes off sitting a good 10 feet away from you and within a minute, a cloud of disgust would envelope you into gagging. Seriously. If he happens to read this, I guess I'm off the Christmas Card list but that seems to be the trend this year anyway. It's the economy stupid! Well, either that or I continue to piss people off at a colossal rate. Either way, let's get back to the shoes. Were they steel toed? Were they slip-ons? Were they leather? Can I buy them on Pakastani Ebay yet? Will they be featured at The Smithsonian, or will they be featured at the Nunn Bush museum. Nunn Bush. Nunn Bush? Get it? You people have no sole. Ok, I'm a heel.