FAN: Steelers Free Agent Talk

It's that time of year again. The Super Bowl just ended and already the machine that is the NFL has us refocused on next season. I'm not finished marinating number SIX yet and here we go. We have a lot of players on the list this year, but not too many we have to worry about. Let's take a look first at the restricted players. Teams rarely sign another team's RFAs, but we'll go down the list anyway.

Willie Colon: I think if other sites graded him out, he would be about a C+ right now. No way anyone shows any interest. We will resign him relatively cheap.

Trai Essex: I'll pay for the cab fare to the airport. It's good that he knows the system and all and I suppose if you can get him for league minimum the learning curve is there, but he's never done anything for me as a player.

Chris Kemoeatu: Probably the best of the three? I'm not sure. It's a toss up between him and Willie. I don't expect other teams to come knocking. We'll resign him.

If Kemo and Colon continue to develop, it will work out nicely to resign them for 4-5 years while their stock is low. Next up, Unrestricted Free Agents. We're in very good shape here, the best in years. This may be the best chance for a team to repeat in recent history given their free agent situation.

Charlie Batch/Byron Leftwich: I think Leftwich thinks he can start. The thing is, who is going to give him a chance. Nobody is going to come calling Charlie. We have all the leverage. I say, let Leftwich go try the market. If he gets no starting offers, take him back as our #2. If Ben goes down, we are better off with Leftwich in my opinion. Batch runs the offense nicely when in there, but I have feeling if we need a long stretch, Lefty is the way to go. Charlie should be cheap as a #3 if he wants to stay. He's like another coach, really. If Leftwich goes, sign Batch and wait until after the draft for anundrafted free agent QB for #3.

Keyaron Fox: From what I remember, he made some nice special teams tackles as the first man down. He'll be so stinking cheap, why not resign him since he knows the system? If he goes, he goes. No loss.

Andre Frazier: See Keyaron Fox.

Sean McHugh: I'm indifferent. No loss if he goes.

Orpheus Roye: Do you know the story of the saying "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"? Well, dude's teeth are pretty long. All he has going for him are the tricks of the trade that he's kearned over the years that help him battle youth, speed and strength. Let him walk. No offer.

Jamel White: Who in the Hell is this? Is the list I found accurate? Walk, no offer.

Nate Washington:I'm tempted to let him test the market. I like him, I really do and I want him to stay. However, if I'm playing Moneyball, the 3rd receiver is not a high paying job. We need to save those duckets for Santonio when he comes up. We didn't draft Limas Sweed to sit on the bench the entire game and he can play this position cheaper. Think about it, with Holmes, Miller and Ward running around in the secondary and Sweed ready after another full camp, I am predicting we lose Nate Washington and I'll wish him well.

Bryant McFadden: Here he is, boys, the one guy I don't want to lose this year. Sign him....tomorrow. Get 'r done.

Later this week: Draft Strategy. Dog, any issues with the FA assessment? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

DOG: We Are The Champions of the World!

We've got monkey's being shot. Last night I watched as the lower primates who occupy high representative positions in Washington DC congratulated themselves for giving away our money. Too much seriousness. Life is too important to be taken seriously.

I thought maybe we should just take a step back and remind ourselves that we are the Champions!

Hit it here for a wonderful slideshow.

Why Go Green?

That's a picture of my new mug at work - no more cups. We're going green baby, and you can't stop us. I do have a question, though. If 71 percent of the Earth's surface is water, why aren't we going Blue? Did green have better marketing?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

FAN: Mortgage Schmortgage Obama

This is awesome.

I think the stupid percentage that you used to be able to go up to on your mortgage was something like 30 or 33% of your monthly gross wages as a household. I think I have a pretty big house. It's not even 18 years old. I've lived in it for 4 years. When we bought the house, the mortgage payment was about 17% of our monthly gross wages. Now, four years later, it's 14.5%. Am I in any danger of losing my house? Not even close. What if one of us loses our job? Still not even close. Why? We bought comfortably within our means. We drop our daughter off to play at some houses that two of ours would fit into...and ours isn't small by any means. Had we stayed in the first house we bought, our mortgage right now would be 8% of our monthly gross. When we bought that first house in 1996, the mortgage was about 21% of our monthly gross. I refinanced the first house twice in 8 years bringing down the payment substantially. I bought less house so I could save for retirement and my daughter's college fund. If the government is spending money wisely I don't complain too much about taxes and I understand the logic that the economy could do even worse if these knuckleheads are forced out onto the streets.....but for fuck's sake.....if we are going to bail people out to the tune of what they are talking about concerning mortgages....then there should be rules attached. You smoke? Not any more, dickhead. We're not giving you a dime of government money if you continue to smoke two packs a day or $14 that could be going to your mortgage. Your car cost what? Yea, I'm sorry asshole, but you'll be trading in your Acura for a Ford Focus....tomorrow. We'll pay your mortgage, but the 52" Sony Bravia XBR4 is going right the fuck back to Best Buy where you can pick up your new 27" tube job. Eating out? Nope. Not, if we're paying your mortgage, dillweed. See, the government is going to make a new ID card you need if your rate got dropped due to your stupidity. You'll be leaving Legal Seafood and moving down to the Ground Round y'all. Ya Hear? Snowflake is in Private School? Not anymore she's not. Now she might end up behind the stairs making out with somebody of whom you don't approve. I am royally pissed off about this. I can't wait to hear the Dog's take on it. From my count, the Dog owns 5 houses...yes 5. Is he in any danger of losing any of them? Hell No, I wouldn't be surprised if 3 or 4 of them are paid off. Stupid people suck. There are people who bought under their limit and are doing all the right things and are having trouble keeping their heads above water and I respect the shit out of them. They are not the object of my scorn so don't think me heartless. My scorn is well placed and well deserved. I could rant on this all night and have before in the past. This is almost 3 years old.

DOG: Shoot The Monkey!

What to make of recent news that the cops shot a Connecticut monkey, who was on wine and Xanax, beating the shit out of some woman?

What to make of the NY Post editorial cartoon linking the monkey's shooting to President Obama's Economic "Deterrent" Package?

Al Sharpton (surprise surprise) thought it was racist. Not sure why, Obama isn't even from Connecticut... although wine and Xanax are possibilities.

I thought the cartoon was funny. The truth lies just below the surface of humor.

What do you think? Reply in the comments or the monkey will shoot you!

FAN: Learn Japanese 1-2-3

The following is a translation of the above clip. How did I translate it you ask? Easy, I used Rosetta Stone software. Feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong. I suggest hitting play and then reading this while you listen.

Japanese Woman (JW): What do you mean the boxed meal was changed from eel to smallish turkey sandwiches cut into tiny triangles with no crust? Out of my way, security scum, I want my eel....right now!

Female Security Guard (FSG) muffled: Ma'am please calm down.

JW: (sobbing, then irate) I want some fucking eel RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

Unseen Male (UM): That bitch is crazy.

JW: (Uncontrollable Crying)

Japanese Woman's Husband (JWH): Jesus Christ, Fran, you just had eel 2 days ago. Is it that big of a deal? You are dishonoring my family name.

JW: I will now lie on my back to show my disapproval. Fuck your family name you limp dick bastard. You never take my side, Hal, NEVER! I want my fucking eel!

Japanese Woman's Father (JWF): That's a girl, honey....come on, get up before you make a scene.

JW: No. No. I am laying back down. I will now make a carpet angel to show my displeasure.

JWF: (pleading now....more agitated)

JW: NO! I will sit here, right here, until they bring me fine fine eel, wrapped in delicate seaweed...right here, I Say! Waaaaaaaaaah.

JWF: (more pleading)

JW: Gwt your hands off me old man. Hey, this carpet is really high quality. I said get YOUR HANDS OFF ME OLD MAN!!!! (starting to relent) I guess the turkey won't be that bad. Will there be mayonaisse? In packets? Individual packets? (slamming hand down) I will EAT your turkey sandwich....with no crust....and in triangular pieces....but ONLY if there's mayonaisse....ONLY if there's mayonaisse....ONLY....Ohhhhhhh (jarbled)

FAN: Search For AutoPilot Begins

I guess the Feds will be looking for this guy. Sorry, couldn't resist. Rio, I apologize in advance if you take offense to this. He looks like my last boss.

FAN: You Can't Ice A Psychopath

Jeff Reed 1 Sheetz Paper Towel Dispenser 0

Come on, you hate it too when you have to wipe your wet hands on your nice pants. This guy better retire a Steeler, that's all I know. I don't care if he's bat shit crazy. He's the most money guy we've had since Gary Anderson and he has a stronger leg. He also throws his head into some tackles. Personally, I want to hang out with him some night. Talk about having some stories to tell.........

DOG: What Are You Listening To? #4

With Valentines Day approaching I'll bet lots of folks are searching for some romantic music to set the stage for a zesty session tomorrow... eh? So in our 4th WAYLT segment we'll talk about what you could use for that, and what we've been pounding into our heads via those little holes in each ear.

For Valentines Day, nearly the first thing you should have in your music collection is some Barry White. Man, if you can't get laid with some Barry White playing on Valentines day after 2 dozen roses, a box of chocolate, and a bottle of wine (or 2 or 3 depending on what he/she looks like), then you ladies need to invest in a battery powered "personal companion" and you fellas just pick up some petroleum jelly.

I recommend the Ulitmate Collection by Barry White. The song titles on this album themselves imply sex. It's a compilation of his work and that's all you need. Because let's face it, you're not going to be listening to this much by yourself, OK.

Another band that worked wonders for me in matters of "love" was Bread. Used to have a girlfriend waaaay back in the day who would put an 8-track of "Best of Bread" on when it was time to get to work. Never really liked the band but I recently picked up the Anthology of Bread as a nostagic novelty.

Now if those options don't appeal to you 21st Century foxes and hounds, I can still hook you up with something more sophisticated for the discriminating listener.

Some things that I've been listening to recently are albums by Antonio Carlos Jobim called Wave from 1967 and Stone Flower from 1970. This is true Brazilian bossa nova at it's simmering best. This is what will be playing at the Dog's house on Valentine's day, rest assured.

Some other jazz artists who might work for your particular situation are, Milt Jackson, Gerald Albright, Herbie Mann, and Hubert Laws.

So, love to everyone on Valentines day and... best of luck!

Now what I have been listening to since our last installment...

5. Chase - This extinct (plane crash) band featured a horn section with 4 trumpets led by Bill Chase. I had a lot of this on vinyl (and 8-track) and finally got it digitized. Plus I found 3 live releases by Chase I never knew existed.

4. Buddy Rich Big Band - Damn I never realized how good a drummer this guy was. Used to see him on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson jamming with Doc Sevrinson but just missed the boat I guess. I picked up an album called Big Swing Face and it is outstanding.

3. Roy Book Binder - Live Book! This is acoustic blues in the Rev. Gary Davis Piedmont flat picking style. And Roy's stories he intertwines with the tunes are as good as the music. Also features Jorma Kaukonen on a couple tracks.

2. Larry Carlton - Renegade Gentleman. I have quite a number of Larry Carlton jazz guitar albums but this is one of my favorites. It has almost a Southern Rock flavor to it due to the addition of some burning harmonica parts not normally present in Larry's music.

1. Oscar Peterson. I always liked Oscar Peterson. But I have recently discovered two awesome albums by him which I highly recommend. They are Oscar's Boogie which I think is a compilation album, and Satch & Josh which is an album of jazz/blues piano duets featuring Oscar and Count Basie.

What are you listening to?

FAN: Swimming Atlantic Hoax

Hey, did any of you read this? Funny. I'm skeptical as shit and a Math Major and I read that headline the other day and actually read the story and didn't stop once to think about it. I found the part about swimming in a shark cage curious as I thought she could just hold onto the bars and have the boat pull her. Little did I know she was sitting on deck with a margarita with her phinometer still in the water. Which leads me to this...somebody call Guiness......really.......for today, I set a new World Record. I've been on the Internet now for 4,756 straight days. Yup. Just call my old dialup company to check the date. I've been to almost every site. That's over 13 years straight people! The only times I've taken a break were to sleep, eat, work, watch the Steelers, run, poop, play drums, shop, drive, fly, going to the movies, concerts, swim meets, dance recitals, pool, parties....

Other than that, I've never even looked away from my terminal.

DOG: Favre Announces Leave of Absence

I'm sure you've heard by now that Brett Favre is taking a leave from his job as a professional football player for the next several months... again. He calls it a retirement but since he's had a press conference each of the last 3 seasons to announce his "retirement," let's just acknowledge it's a leave of absence for now and leave it at that. Favre is just one perfectly timed reminder that Vinny Testaverde played QB well into his 40s from being back slinging passes for some NFL team next September.

Here's my slanted take on Favre's deal. He still wants to play football, of this I have no doubt. He had a good time playing for the Jets last year although they faltered late in the season and failed to make the playoffs. Who wouldn't have a good time throwing 6 TDs in a single game?

But he wants to play for the Minnesota Vikings. He wanted to play for them when he left Green Bay but the Packers pretty much blocked his path. Now it's another year later. The sanctions the Packers put on him moving to a team within their division are lessened greatly. He asked for an outright release from the Jets but they refused. So he retired again. But that's not the half of the story.

The other half of the story is that he would have been fine staying with the Jets under Eric Mangini. But now the Jets head coach is former Shitbird defensive coordinator, Rex Ryan. I don't think Favre has any particular problem with Ryan. The problem lies in the fellow Ryan hired to be the Jets new QB coach, Matt Cavanaugh. Cavanaugh is a knucklehead coach, plain and simple (with the emphasis on simple). In no way could I see Favre playing for Cavanaugh.

Matt Cavanaugh is the guy who ruined Brian Billick's reputation as an offensive guru while he was offensive coordinator on Billick's staff in Baltimore. Matt Cavanaugh is the guy who could not get an offense moving under a myriad of QBs both high draft picks and high profile free agents. So when Billick and Cavanaugh got the boot out of Baltimore, Cavanaugh ended up on Dave Wannstache's staff at Pitt as offensive coordinator. He was universally hated by Pitt fans. His offense was so powerful that Pitt lost their most recent bowl game by a score of 3-0! Word in the 'burgh is that Shady McCoy, who represented 99.4% of Pitt's offense last season, would have stayed for his senior year if he had known Cavanaugh was leaving for the Jets.

And that's the Steel City Slant on this story, friends.

FAN: The Immaculate Drive

After a week of soaking it all in, there are still good stories coming out about the final drive of the Super Bowl. Peter King wrote a good article (for once) and gave credit all the way around - but still takes a shot at an anonymous Steelers fan in an airport, stinking Bostonite that he is. I think the thing I enjoyed most this week was watching Showtime's Inside the NFL which dedicated the entire hour to the big game. NFL Film's version was shown and then dissected. I read all the things Holmes supposedly said leading up to the final catch but you get to relive them in realtime thanks to NFL Films. As soon as Fitzgerald scored, Holmes started screaming they needed to "dare to be great" and exclaimed "I dare to be great". He walked over to Ben and told him he wanted the ball before going out on the field. Then, it seemed like he was reminding him before every snap. They interviewed Holmes in his house and he seemed very gracious and humble. He talked about kid's choices and wanting to be a role model, but something about him just tells me if offered a big rolled fatty at a party he'd take it in two seconds. My only issue with Showtime's version of the HBO staple is Warren Sapp. He says such stupid things you have to wonder about his IQ. Phil Simms said that the extended halftime was good for the Cardinals because it allowed them more time to get over the shock of the potential 14 point swing due to James Harrison's pick six. Good point. Sapp chimed in that he thought it was better for Pittsburgh because Harrison needed more time to rest after the return. Huh? It was a 100 yard dash, not a 5k. If he thinks the extra 10 minutes of Super Bowl halftime allowed Silverback to be his normal self in the second half, he's dumber than I originally thought.

DOG: Is This Really Live Music?

In the last few weeks we've had a myriad of "famous" musicians "perform" in what was a "live" setting. First at the presidential inauguration and then at the Super Bowl. I use the quoted words loosely... very loosely.

You can read all about it here.

Very few of them actually perfomed anything. Very little of their appearances were live. And they should be ashamed of themselves. I am disgusted with this whole thing. And you know what I'm talking about.... this lip synching to a pre-recorded track. If it's going to be a live performance then let them play and sing. If you want to play a recording and have the person who made the recording stand (or sit) up on a stage and receive accolades for it, fine. But don't lie to me.

It comes as no surprise to me that American Dildo musical director, Rickey Minor, is responsible for insisting upon the artists lip synching all pre-game songs at the Super Bowl. This asshole has no concept of what music is anyway as evidenced by the total horseshit he sends across the airwaves.

What Minor has done is controlled America's collective minds into believing live music needs to be absolutely perfect. When just the opposite is true. A true classical virtuoso can play the same piece over and over flawlessly without fail. So with guys like Yo-Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman it shouldn't really matter. And a true virtuoso of the improvisational styles such as jazz, country, blues, and rock can allow the conditions at the moment to alter his/her performance to take the music where it has never gone before and may never go again. This makes for a unique listening experience for those present. A diva like Aretha Franklin may bitch about her own performace afterwards. But that 19 degrees had an affect on her voice and it was uniquely beautiful anyway.

Bruce Springsteen is nothing more than a political windbag anymore but at least he sang the vocal track live to the pre-recorded music track. Not that it was really good. Maybe he should have lip-synced his vocals after all? But I give him credit anyway. Although The E Street Band should hide their faces.

Idiots like Minor put more emphasis on sychronizing pyrotechnics with a song than having a talented and patriotic American sing America The Beautiful or the National Anthem from their hearts. Somewhere Milli Vanilli must be rolling over in their graves or wherever their lip-sych routine put them. Or maybe these American Dildos can't really sing to begin with.

And Etta James is right, Beyonce is a bitch. I'd love to see the day Etta gets ahold of her lip- synching ass! ...at last.

Dog: Acapulco Gold Medals?

Hey man, that swimmer dude Michael Phelps had his picture taken tokein' on a bong.

No way man. That dude was an Olympic hero, man. That thing looked more like a penis enlargement apparatus than a bong anyway. But... I never saw anybody try to light their penis enlargement apparatus.

Yeah man, dude stands to lose 10 million in endorsements just for catching a buzz, man.

Heard he got arrested for DUI a few years back too. What's next? He gonna freebase like Richard Pryor? Smoke some crack? Go a few blocks from where he lives to East Baltimore to score some yellow cap heroin?

You know he never should have done that Guitar Hero commercial with Kobe Bryant and A-Rod. Next thing you know he'll be getting oral sex from hotel maids and trying to bang Madonna! It's a slippery slope from here, dude.

Man, Phelps wanted to get caught. He knows everybody and their brother got a camera cell phone nowadays. It's not hard to hide your vices. Or is he just stupid?

Well, he's a Raven fan.

Says it all for me. What a dope.

Dog: Number Six... and counting

And that is why we watch the games, ladies and gentlemen. Heart-wrenching, nailbiting, cigarette smoking, stomach twisting, sphincter puckering NFL action!!

And in the end, Big Ben, like he always does, drives the Stillers 78 yards in under 3:00 and passes over 3 Arizona defenders to hit Santonio Holmes in both hands with both toes down to finally let us catch our breath. I am proud of our football team!

This game was the best Super Bowl of all-time. The Cardinals played one hell of a game and just got beat by a team that made one more play. It's always about "one more play" until there's nothing left on the clock. For these Stillers one more play can be made by almost anyone. Silverback Harrison on a 100 yard interception return, DeShea Townsend making picks,LaMarr Woodley on a sack, Troy Polamalu, Jeff Reed, Hines Ward, Santonio Holmes, and Big Ben always. But anyone can step up.

Game notes:

• Good thing it took Arizona three quarters before they figured out a way to get Larry Fitzgerald the ball.


• Darnell Stapleton got absolutely tooled by Darnell Dockett in the second half. Good thing it took Arizona a whole half to discover that mismatch.


• I loved it when we had the nickel and dime packages with Keisel and Smith as our only down linemen. I felt secure when I saw that lineup. But we did leave the middle of the field open for far too long in that alignment. Eventually it burned us.


• Nice to see the offense come to the rescue of our defense for once. After leaning on that D all season. When it counted most, the O came through.


• Not many games contain two of the most exciting plays in franchise history. But Santonio's TD is right up there with Lynn Swann and John Stallworth's great moments and just below the Franco's Immaculate Reception and the Big Ben's Immaculate Tackle. And what can compare to Silverbacks interception return? 100 yards and a TD and a 14 point swing with no time on the clock at the half!


• Warner's wife looks better than she did with that spike-butch hairdo she used to wear. But she's a pretentious bitch. Can you believe they showed the bitch no less than 6 times yesterday? The only one who rivaled her was Larry Fitzgerald Sr.!


• Get used to Bruce Arians. He's not going anywhere. He did a nice job yesterday, all-in-all. I guess we need to hope he yields even more play calling to Big Ben.


• Kurt Warner certainly showed America how to be a gracious loser. I've never seen such composure and class after having been beaten in such dramatic fashion.


• Was I the only one looking for a drunken Suzy Kolber to caress Joe Namath's groin during the award ceremony?


• Yesterday was the kind of day and game that makes listening to games on the radio when you're on a roadtrip, plan your Sunday's for 17 weeks around the NFL TV schedule, and all the other things we do in our devotion to our team worthwhile.

To explain my photo, this is a cheap-ass plastic Steelers mug I got from my parents for Christmas in 1974. It has been used only 7 times. Yes, those 7 times represent the 7 Super Bowl appearances by the Steelers dating back to Super Bowl IX. Back in '74 I made a vow to myself that I would only drink from that mug when the Steelers were in the Super Bowl. It's life approximates the existence of the Terrible Towel. It is now 6-1. My Terrible Towel was left in the closet because I only use it when I am actually at a game. But yesterday the Magic Mug did the trick.... again!

Enjoy the win.

FAN: Rooney: "We'll Make Room"

What a quote from the platform from Dan Rooney. He was asked if there was room in the trophy case for number six. There were some great lines after the game. I watched NFL Network's wrap up show and Ben came out to join the group. When Deion Sanders brought up Warren Sapp's comment about the video camera, Ben just laughed. Warren tried to tell Ben what his angle was on that complaint and Ben said, "thats ok, now I have memories. I'll send you a copy." Good stuff. This game was like many other games this year. Relaxed at one point with a decent lead, then biting nails, then cursing and throwing, then crazy celebration followed by a little more nail biting. Wow. Santonio Holmes catch was just slightly better than Ben's throw. Slightly. The throw was crazy. When he released it I thought it could never be caught. A few random musings and then I need to hit the hay. Bruce Springstein sucked. What the heck with the ref coming out and throwing a flag? In my opinion, he hurt his street cred worse than Aerosmith did by sharing the stage with N'Sync. Worst quote of the night was from Bruce: "Step away from the Guacamole and put the chicken fingers down!" What? Anyway, Silverback got a little crazy on that one dude...what was that all about? Hartwig was quiet most of the season and on one of the biggest plays of the game he yanks a guy down. Another long play was brought back for holding and it was really far away from the play, I can't remember who or when. The Cardinal's nosetackle is a monster. I didn't like it or appreciate it when Al Michaels made reference to Mike Holmgren thinking "here we go again" or something like that when the 6th or 7th Card's penalty came in. What are the refs supposed to do, not call them? I bet by the end of the game he was wishing he never said it because we had huge calls against us as well. Stilladog hit the nail on the head early, they came out running. Fan also hit the nail on the head - for while they tried to get a running game going, it amounted to nothing. I also did a pretty damn good job of predicting the score. I picked 27-24, only 1 point off. They had no answer for Santonio on the hitch. Nada. He was beating that rookie like a rented mule. The Fitzgerald TD was a thing of beauty. Did you see the replay of how both deep safeties went to the sidelines initially? Wow. It's hard not to like the Cardinals. I don't have a shred of animosity towards them like I did the Seachikens. I think because we all like Whiz, Grimmy....Warner.... Did Warner's wife have some work done? She looks better now than she did in 1999. Money is a wonderful thing.

FAN: Art Father

Hallowed be thy name.......
Look out for us today Mr. Rooney

FAN: Harold and Kumar Go To The Movies

This is hilarious. Every so often I look at what drives people to The Slant. Haluski references are still happening at an alarming rate. I still think Stilladog should start a free Blog dedicated to nothing but Haluski and put Google Ads on it. There is money to be made! Anyway, as I'm looking tonight, there was a Google search for "Slant Dog Milinon Years". I read that four times and then just started laughing. They obviously wanted "Slumdog Millionaire". I drilled down to see where the hit came from. New Delhi, India. Nice! If more people couldn't pronounce shit, we'd get more hits! SPeaking of movies, I saw "Juno" for the first time last weekend and really really enjoyed it. Really. Great acting on the girl's part. Also saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop with the family. A few good belly laughs, but we all know I like disturbing movies....there is nothing disturbing about Paul Blart.....

FAN: Steelers Will Stop The Cardinals

I think I now know what Dick will do. After having "Dick Do" in my head for the past few days, I tried to find the best picture I could of a "DickDue". I think this one suffices. DOesn't he look like Jim "The Anvil" Neidheart from the glory days of the WWF? Anyway, after reading a bunch of opinions, I'm not sure enough credence has been given to muscling their receivers at the line of scrimmage in an effort to disrupt Kurt's timing. Everything they seem to do is 3 step drops and him blindly throwing the ball through a window. I think maybe we need to time these things perfectly....every so often in an obvious passing situation (read every down) knock their heads off on the line while sending our normal four. Maybe have six DBs in when we do this and have cover two while we try to knock them off the line. I don't know....I'm not an X,O guy at all. I just think if you're playing a timing offense you have to make them drop a pancake every once in a while. Also, I'm not sure these guys have ever faced the hitters we have back there. Maybe in the first quarter we can play off of them if we pin them deep and give them some room to make some underneath catches....then hit'em with our missiles. Another thing I thought of is the element of surprise. Nobody gets to Warner on blitzes. Maybe we don't blitz a single time until their first critical drive of the game, even if it's not until the third quarter. Let their linemen think we won't be coming all day...then unleash the hounds as they're back on their heels for a series. I think on offense, we do nothing different. They aren't good enough on defense that we have to change anything. I start running Parker and don't stop him until they do. Then, we can start throwing on first down to keep them guessing. I honestly can't see them stopping our offense, but I've only seen about five of their games this year. I don't think they can put up more than 24 points on the league's best defense. I think we'll put up 27. That's my score 27-24.....and I think Warner will have the ball in his hands with a chance to win the game late. In grand fashion, we'll force a turnover and the game will end with us kneeling.

FAN: Warren Sapp is a .....Well, Sap

We're done. We're going to lose the Super Bowl. It's over. Why you ask? Didn't you watch Showtime's Inside The NFL tonight? Warren thinks the team isn't focused. Why? Because Kurt Warner got off his team plane in a suit and looking focused. Ben Roethlisberger got off his team plane holding a camcorder. Now, while I agree with Pittgirl's assessment today at haveagoodsandwich.org, what in the heck does it have to do, Warren, with how a game will turn out more than a few days away? What a giant (and I mean giant) idiot. Every person to the man on the panel tried to get him to elaborate and he raised his eyebrows like "how dare you challenge me" and said "that's your quarterback right there, that's your quarterback....and he's got a camera....looks to me like he's on vacation." Go ahead, take a long silent pause here to think about how ridiculous pregame coverage has become. Ladies and gentlemen, we're not debating how healthy Hines Ward will be. We're not debating if Larry Foote will leave the field so Troy can slide down further in the box. We're not discussing if Fitzgerald will be a decoy and Boldin will have a monster game. We're not discussing if the Steelers are aware Warner has been sacked on blitzes only 8 times all year. We're not discussing if the best way to throw Warner off kilter is to hold up his receivers at the line for 1 full second to screw up the timing. We're discussing how Ben Roethlisberger chose to exit the plane. Stay tuned for the second half of our broadcast ladies and gentlemen, as we'll get hair coloring tips from Skippy Reed. What if the poor guy's mother said "Ben, what's it like getting off the plane and seeing the throng of people waiting to see the team?" I'm being drawn into it, I'm trying to pull a Covey.....I'm looking for the unknown "what if....." that makes sense of it....Ugh!