My 6 year old daughter borrowed Disney's animated classic Cinderella when she was about 3 years old. We watched it numerous times on VHS and bought the Special Edition 2-dvd set when it came out in late 2005. The Disney channel broadcast the movie last night at 8 pm and it never ceases to amaze me that my daughter will sit through commercials to watch a movie on TV that we own on dvd. Only half paying attention, I grabbed my laptop and started to browse online. Mind you, I've probably seen this movie 10 times in the last 3 years and I've been familiar with the story my entire life. I can't believe I never questioned this before...was the Fairy Godmother good or evil? How can I ask that question? Simple. Ask yourself this: If the FG was so nice, why in Walt's name did she impose the midnight curfew? Why? Why, I ask you? Cinderella was cooped up in the attic with a dried up prune of a stepmom and two bitch on wheels step-sisters who tore her dress off so she couldn't go to the ball. I think the ball started at 8:00. So, with travel time by horse and carriage (and who knows what traffic was like back then or how far from the castle they lived) to get there and back - she really in essence gave her - what - about 90 minutes at the ball? Maybe 2 hours tops? She was setting her up to fail! If she was really looking out for her, wouldn't she give her the entire night...change her back around 6 AM? What if Cinderella got lucky and Prince Charming wanted to get busy? By the time they finally met, danced, got the small talk out of the way and tried to politely excuse themselves to the royal hot tub - she would have been out of time. I say the fix was in and the Fairy Godmother was actually an evil witch of some sort. Maybe when the 7 angry little people chased the Evil Queen (posing as the old hag) off the cliff in Snow White she landed safely in water and came back to haunt yet another young lady in distress since she failed with Snow White. By the way...if that Evil Queen in Snow White could cast spells and stuff, why was she running away from 7 dwarves? I mean really, what were they going to do to her? Bloody her shins? Sneeze on her to death? And another thing, if you're going to make a poison apple - make a poison apple! Don't make it put her to sleep, make it KILL HER. She sent the Huntsman to kill her the first time, not put her to sleep....why chicken out on the second attempt? Cartoon characters are maddening and don't really follow logic all that well. Stay tuned for my next Disney rant - why an elephant cannot possibly flap it's ears fast enough to get airborn.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Fairy Godmother Comes Under Heavy Scrutiny
My 6 year old daughter borrowed Disney's animated classic Cinderella when she was about 3 years old. We watched it numerous times on VHS and bought the Special Edition 2-dvd set when it came out in late 2005. The Disney channel broadcast the movie last night at 8 pm and it never ceases to amaze me that my daughter will sit through commercials to watch a movie on TV that we own on dvd. Only half paying attention, I grabbed my laptop and started to browse online. Mind you, I've probably seen this movie 10 times in the last 3 years and I've been familiar with the story my entire life. I can't believe I never questioned this before...was the Fairy Godmother good or evil? How can I ask that question? Simple. Ask yourself this: If the FG was so nice, why in Walt's name did she impose the midnight curfew? Why? Why, I ask you? Cinderella was cooped up in the attic with a dried up prune of a stepmom and two bitch on wheels step-sisters who tore her dress off so she couldn't go to the ball. I think the ball started at 8:00. So, with travel time by horse and carriage (and who knows what traffic was like back then or how far from the castle they lived) to get there and back - she really in essence gave her - what - about 90 minutes at the ball? Maybe 2 hours tops? She was setting her up to fail! If she was really looking out for her, wouldn't she give her the entire night...change her back around 6 AM? What if Cinderella got lucky and Prince Charming wanted to get busy? By the time they finally met, danced, got the small talk out of the way and tried to politely excuse themselves to the royal hot tub - she would have been out of time. I say the fix was in and the Fairy Godmother was actually an evil witch of some sort. Maybe when the 7 angry little people chased the Evil Queen (posing as the old hag) off the cliff in Snow White she landed safely in water and came back to haunt yet another young lady in distress since she failed with Snow White. By the way...if that Evil Queen in Snow White could cast spells and stuff, why was she running away from 7 dwarves? I mean really, what were they going to do to her? Bloody her shins? Sneeze on her to death? And another thing, if you're going to make a poison apple - make a poison apple! Don't make it put her to sleep, make it KILL HER. She sent the Huntsman to kill her the first time, not put her to sleep....why chicken out on the second attempt? Cartoon characters are maddening and don't really follow logic all that well. Stay tuned for my next Disney rant - why an elephant cannot possibly flap it's ears fast enough to get airborn.
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