I had a weird dream last night. It started out with VP Dick Cheney on a big game hunt. He was in a black Chevy Suburban with several handlers around an open bar. He was throwing back gin and tonics and babbling incoherently. The Suburban was flanked by a Secret Service vehicle and an ambulance. They stopped at the hunting destination which apparently had a cover charge of some sort. Someone paid for the entire group and a barrier was moved to allow the vehicles into the hunting area. It looked like it was designed for walkers. Apparently not everyone there knew this was a hunting area as a family of 5 walked past eating popcorn and stopping to take pictures of the animals. The driver pulled up to a large sign marked "African Elephants" and stopped. As Cheney left the vehicle he could be heard complaining that the area the elephant was in was much too large for a man of his age to track down. The area was gigantic. Some estimates put the area at between a tenth and a quarter of an acre. Making it even more dangerous, it was enclosed by an electric fence and a small moat. As Cheney sized up the beast and waited for it to move closer to the fence, a crowd of shocked onlookers approached. Cheney could not understand what so many families and children were doing at his newly discovered hunting paradise. Not being a technical individual, he used Google to research a good place to find large game close to his home. He had no idea that he could leave the US and get to "Zoo" so quickly. Cheney lined up the large mammal and pulled the trigger. The elephant turned it's huge head at the sound of the blast just in time to see Mrs. Claire Johnson, 42, wife and mother of 3 drop to the ground with a huge GSW to the chest. A secret service agent took the fall for this episode because he apparently muttered "shoot that big mother" seconds before Cheney squeezed the trigger. Mrs. Johnson, God rest her soul, went about 425 and Dick did have a few cocktails. "What's next?" Cheney bellowed. Checking his Palm Pilot, his handler replied "ummmm, you have a pheasant hunt with both Clintons at 1:00... Bill called last night to confirm and asked what kind of spirits you preferred."
Thursday, February 16, 2006
A Republican's Dream
I had a weird dream last night. It started out with VP Dick Cheney on a big game hunt. He was in a black Chevy Suburban with several handlers around an open bar. He was throwing back gin and tonics and babbling incoherently. The Suburban was flanked by a Secret Service vehicle and an ambulance. They stopped at the hunting destination which apparently had a cover charge of some sort. Someone paid for the entire group and a barrier was moved to allow the vehicles into the hunting area. It looked like it was designed for walkers. Apparently not everyone there knew this was a hunting area as a family of 5 walked past eating popcorn and stopping to take pictures of the animals. The driver pulled up to a large sign marked "African Elephants" and stopped. As Cheney left the vehicle he could be heard complaining that the area the elephant was in was much too large for a man of his age to track down. The area was gigantic. Some estimates put the area at between a tenth and a quarter of an acre. Making it even more dangerous, it was enclosed by an electric fence and a small moat. As Cheney sized up the beast and waited for it to move closer to the fence, a crowd of shocked onlookers approached. Cheney could not understand what so many families and children were doing at his newly discovered hunting paradise. Not being a technical individual, he used Google to research a good place to find large game close to his home. He had no idea that he could leave the US and get to "Zoo" so quickly. Cheney lined up the large mammal and pulled the trigger. The elephant turned it's huge head at the sound of the blast just in time to see Mrs. Claire Johnson, 42, wife and mother of 3 drop to the ground with a huge GSW to the chest. A secret service agent took the fall for this episode because he apparently muttered "shoot that big mother" seconds before Cheney squeezed the trigger. Mrs. Johnson, God rest her soul, went about 425 and Dick did have a few cocktails. "What's next?" Cheney bellowed. Checking his Palm Pilot, his handler replied "ummmm, you have a pheasant hunt with both Clintons at 1:00... Bill called last night to confirm and asked what kind of spirits you preferred."
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