Slanted #44

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Beating The Bush

Serious, this story is. Cindy Sheehan is "resigning" as the "face" of the anti-war movement. Good. At last count, only 17 people were showing up for her protests anyway. Speaking of "faces", Steel City Slant has uncovered the real reason behind the resignation. You know how they say roommates start to look like one another after living with each other for a long time or spending too much time together....spouses as well? Well, take a long long look at this picture, just in the face. Right there. Right there.....hold it. YES! Cindy Sheehan is so obsessed with George W. Bush that she is actually starting to look like him in the face! I don't care if it's not "prudent"...it's true! At the very least, she looks like Dana Carvey doing Bush the 41st. What a shame, all she thinks about is GWB and he could give a rat's ass about her. Good riddance. I think my feelings about her have been well expressed here in the past. Search the blog for Sheehan if you want to read them again.

Yes, I Am A Sick Man

Q: Why should you take Bill Belichick with you when you jet ski?

A: Because remember, dumbass.......he can walk on water.

Slanted #43

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Good From Great

My keeper fantasy football team was in trouble. I always had 2 of my 3 keepers as running backs. What I was lacking was a franchise quarterback. I traded for Kordell Stewart after the 1997 season only to see him not hold up. I kept 2 rbs and a wr for a few years and tried to pluck a young guy as a backup qb to take over for me in the future...like a Joey Harrington. Nothing. Then one offseason, I was able to engineer a trade with another team who had an outstanding starter AND a young backup whom he couldn't start, Michael Vick. I thought I had my qb for the next 7 years. What I did was suffer through 2 seasons of mediocre play and feast or famine (mostly famine) scoring. I dropped Vick the next year. Why is any of this relevant? Because you cannot explain to a rational person how someone with so much God given talent can screw it up and throw it all away. This post could be 10,000 words or 300 and still get the same message across. So few people can actually play qb in the NFL that it pains me to see people like Peyton Manning eat, drink and sleep football and continue to improve while people like Vick sign their big contracts and then try to rely on talent alone instead of working on getting better. How on Earth do you have time to be a "player" in the world of dogfighting and then act like you care about football? You have to be a student. Mike Vick is not trying his hardest to succeed and for that, his ex-coach's dad is right - he is a coach killer. Why do I care about this? Because this season may define our own Ben Roethlisberger's legacy. Is he going to development into a premier consistent qb who can win games on his own, or is he going to be a beast one week and disappear the next? Are the next 10 years going to be great because of him, or heart wrenching because of him? I saw enough in the first two years to believe strongly that he will come out of his funk from last year and lead the team like we think he can. He should be the team leader now. No more Porter antics. No more Faneca whining. Serious football. I want him to make the correct reads.....even if they play isn't successful. Even if he overthrows or underthrows people. I want him to protect the ball - throw it away if he has to. No fumbles from center. This is the year Big Ben has to decide if he's going to be great or not. He has the ability. He has the talent. He won a Super Bowl ring as part of a team where he wasn't the team leader or the key player defenses had to stop. Now I want him to be the unquestionable leader on and off the field. It's time to be better than good. The team has to make a decision soon as to how he fits into the plans for the future. How much money and for how many years are they going to invest? Show them you're worth it.

No Sopranos?

Man. Sunday night, no football, no Sopranos and no Entourage. What's a guy to do? We just came back from a cookout and I was all ready to get into my Sunday night routine.....only to be let down. They started this run on Easter Sunday...they can't show a new episode the Sunday before Memorial day? Fugghetaboutit.

Eddie Vedder, Wordsmith

This is funny. Better than most of the misheard video clips out there where they just make stuff up. This is a case where I don't know one friggin' word the man says. Yellow Bedwetter, we called it. "Make me fries" made me laugh out loud. I remember when Evenflo came out, my friends and I debated for hours what he was saying. They couldn't put all the words in the liner notes because they didn't know what they were. What? You kids don't know what liner notes are?????

What The......?

So I watched the American Idol finals tonight with my daughter, and while I understand why the Tony Bennetts and Gladys Knights of the world perform on the show....can somebody please tell me what Joe Perry is doing there? On two different songs he strode to the middle of the stage and struck his signature pose before wailing away. What does a guy with rock star cred like Perry have to gain from being on American Idol? I remember being a tad miffed at Aerosmith about 10 years ago when they played the Super Bowl Halftime Show and split the bill with either N-Suck or Backdoor Boys - I can't remember which. It seems very very very odd to me, that's all. Some people wouldn't bother me and I would expect them to show up and throw down, but Joe Perry is a low-key guy and he's got to be pushing 60 these days - it just struck me as odd. To see the final 12 singing together at the end of the show with the former winners and one other superstar....if you gave me 100 guesses as to who the superstar was, I would have never guessed Joe Perry. Weird. Congrats to Jordin Sparks, my daughter's favorite since before they were down to 24.

Take The Stairs!

So, like I said last week - I'm working at a new job and my space is on the 4th floor. I left a beautiful office to go back to the world of cubing.....for now. The 4th floor is the penthouse in this older building. What cracks me up is the lack of stair climbers in this joint. I've been going up them 4-5 times a day now for 2 weeks. I hardly ever pass anyone in the stairwells. There are two elevators that are only big enough for about 5 people and after lunch, it is nothing to see folks waiting for an elevator, or not making it on and waiting for it to come back! This isn't the City Of Philadelphia where the buildings have banks of elevators running AI programs to get you there faster, this is one stinking elevator per bay.....and there are 2 bays.....on opposite sides of the building. I can't believe these people don't take advantage of giving their heart a little pumpity pump a few times a day. Same thing when I was in the city - there would be a line to walk through the auto doors to our secure building instead of pushing the doors open. People would complain when the escalator was out of service that took you up to the elevator bay (I was coming from underground ). I worked in the penthouse there as well but it was the 16th floor.............and no, I didn't!!!

The Sopranos: Week 7 Autopsy Report

The seventh episode of the last half of the last season did not disappoint. Tony did something that is near and dear to my heart - he took revenge on someone who wronged his daughter, Meadow. The wheels are really spinning now and I still think even though AJ failed at suicide that he might not make it out of the series alive as I predicted before the season started. I new thought came to mind this week as well - maybe Tony will die of a heart attack. Look at the stress he's under? The thing with Phil, killing Christopher, AJ, renewed fighting with Carmela.....this is already a man who has a mental condition. Heck, maybe TONY will commit suicide? Wouldn't that be a shocker? This week Chase threw in a few "Poor You"(s) - Livia's favorite saying. Tony is becoming his mother as much as he hated her. I also have no idea why they had Phil yell down to Tony and we couldn't see him. Was that symbolic in some way? Was he supposed to be God...or thinking of himself as God-like? Was he afraid to come down? Did he think Tony was going to attack him? Clearly Tony could kill Phil with his bare hands. I think Phil set up the meeting and thought potentially they were going to kill him and Little Carmine would take control of New York. There are so many possibilities my head is spinning......

With Arms A Throwing...Scott Sapp of Creed

Scott Stapp of (shudders to even type it....) Creed, or formerly of Creed, or whatever...threw a bottle at his wife's head but missed. This is the same lame dude, mind you, that got all religious and wrote "With Arms Wide Open" when he found out he was going to be a dad. Hmmm, I wonder how the dickhead will explain that he threw a bottle at mommy's head and could have killed her? What a joke..posing....wannabee. I hate Creed. Hate them. Hate him. "I hate you Scott Stapp!". There. I feel better. I wish some guys who don't beat up on women would gang up on him with aluminum baseball bats. I would then write a song about it and call it "With Heads Split Open". Good thing he isn't athletic or he might have really hurt her. What a wuss. Girl. Baby. Sub Human. Piece of Dog Poop. Damn, I really do hate him. I wish the guys from Slipknot could get him in a room alone for 10 minutes. Nancy.

Steelers 75th Anniversary Team

Before you vote for the team by clicking here, read my idea for voting. The starting team will have 24 players at assigned positions. The rest of the team will be filled out by players who had the most votes at ANY position, but not enough to start. So, my strategy is this - if I really want more linebackers to be on the team, I'm going to use my votes for others since Lambert and Ham are automatics in 2 of the three linebacker positions. See? This should be fun. Let's start.

QB - The only choice here for the starting team is Terry Bradshaw, but I'd like Roethlisberger to at least make the roster since he won a Super Bowl as well so I'm using my vote for him.

RB - Again, Jerome Bettis and Franco Harris will be the starters for sure, so I'm using my 2 votes here on other players I'd like to see make the team. As sentimental favorites of mine, I'm voting for Barry Foster and Rocky Bleier.

TE - This is a hard choice. If Eric Green had the heart of Hines Ward, he could have been one of the best ever at his position. He didn't and he wasn't. Bruener was always a blocker first and I'm not going to hold that against him as we were a running team and he helped Bettis a ton. Sentimental votes may go to Baby Huey here and I want to see the right person start so I'm voting for Mark Bruener.

WR - Again, a tougher choice here than one would expect. Don't be surprised if Hines Ward ends up starting over John Stallworth (who should be #1 in my opinion). I think Lynn Swann has more name recognition with the younger web voting crowd and you know the younger crowd is going to favor Ward over one of those guys. If enough people over 35 vote, Swann and Stallworth will be your starters and they probably should be. That being said, again, I'd like to see Ward on the team so I'm voting for him and Louis Lipps. My prediction if the votes are made public is that Ward will be the highest vote getter that isn't a starter.

OL - No funny votes here as I'm going with who I think are the 5 best. Webster, Tunch Ilkin (Reggie White never recorded a sack against Tunch!), Dermonti Dawson (what a pro), Ray Mansfield and and and and......Alan Faneca. I'll be at the game when the lineup is announced over the PA and they trot out onto the field at halftime. Not sure if I'll cheer or not, but much like Rod Woodson when he left - maybe the ugliness will blow over in a few years - although I don't think Rod ever scorched the franchise like Alan did.

DL - I'm not voting for Greene or Greenwood as they are wasted votes in my opinion. Instead, Ernie Holmes, Casey Hampton, Big Daddy and Dwight White will get the goods.

LB - Again, Ham and Lambert will get no support from me. Heck, Lambert may get more votes than Bradsahw in the end. My three votes go to Lloyd, Kirkland and sentimental favorite Kevin Green. hard not to vote for Andy Russell, but I'm going with my faves.

DB - I'm simply going with the 4 best in my opinion. Woodson, Blount, Lake, Polamalu. Whoops, I lied. I'm taking back my vote for Blount who is a shoo-in. I love Donnie Shell. Man could that dude hit. Another sentimental vote!

KP - Who cares? Gary Anderson and Roy Gerela. Where is Norm Johnson?! Short timer but I'll never forget the hit he put on that kick returner!

I just realized you can vote once a day. That means people like Still A Dog and myself will put thought into this and vote once and every 12 year old in the 'Burgh is voting 100 times for God only knows who.

Mike Tomlin In Sports Illustrated

Peter King finally wrote something about the Steelers that I wasn't shaking my head at and disagreeing with every other sentence. He wrote the NFL feature story this week in SI and it's about Mike Tomlin taking over for the Steelers. The article is called "Third Man In" and it's a pretty good read. Some things to note: Tomlin has but three photos in his office and 2 of them are meat and potato type plays being made by Steelers. One is a gang tackle against the run and the other is Whaaneca opening a huge hole on offense....the other is a closeup of the trenches right before the snap when the Steelers last played the Vikings. Another cool thing that he does is after practice during the classroom session he puts up a paper on the board saying "The News" and he calls people out who did not give 100% on every play. He's already called out Big Ben and Hines Ward for their performances in a practice. He wants you playing to the whistle on every play and this is his motivator.....staying off "The News". I love it. I only wish it was made public after each game! Also, he benched Fred Smoot last year for not playing full tilt and in retrospect, Smoot admits it was good for him and that he needed it - and that it made him a better player and a better man. Rooney asked him about the Smoot incident during his interview - he loved it that the man had convictions and stuck to them. I think we're going to fall in love with Mike Tomlin and I think cutting Porter set the tone that this was now indeed his team. Michael Silver added a side story about Grimmy and Whiz and how they are getting along in the desert. It touches briefly on them being picked over. After reading both stories, it makes it even more clear that the Rooney family wanted a fresh start and they couldn't get it with either of the assistants. Can you see Grimm or Whiz benching a team leader? Not that they would be taken lightly - but having an assistant move up could be compared to having a substitute teacher take over a class in mid year. Maybe if the Steelers went deep into the playoffs last year or won it all again they could have had Whiz or Grimm take over. I think the 8-8 hangover season demanded a shakeup and a shakeup is what they got. Even the fact that Tomlin wears a whistle on the sideline is cool to me. It seems like he's an old-school throwback and I never really realized last year just how good the Vikings run defense was. I'm not a fan of those types of stats as situational stats and averages are more impressive to me - but there is no doubt they were better with him leading them. Man, I can't wait for camp to start.

Small Fish, Big Pond

When I graduated from school, I signed on as the 24th employee at a small consulting firm and lasted there for over 12 years. We went up to 54 employees but suffered a difference of opinions between joint owners and one company became two. We were back in the high teens when I left. I did a short stint at Merck through a large consulting firm for less than a year. I didn't like it much. I met some great people that I still keep in touch with and made a few good friends in that year, but professionally it was mind numbing. Too many consultants from too many different agencies all swimming in the same waters. It just wasn't my scene. There were 12,000 or more employees at the location I was at. Too much red tape - probably too many people in each department. I split to a micro-cap company with 18 people. Ahhhh, home....until the funding started to disappear. I lasted over 3 years before being proactive and looked for a job where going bankrupt was out of the question. I found it at a "medium-large" type company with 1,500 employees (1,100 at this site) last month. The thing is, when 16 of your 17 professional years are spent at companies with around 25 employees, 1000 is still a sperm whale compared to a neon. I've been there three days and have already seen the comical things that go on at large companies. They have a zero tolerance for smoking meaning there is no smoking allowed on company property. Smokers literally have to drive or walk off of the property to smoke. Whenever one place becomes too popular as a smoking spot...neighbors and motorists complain and the smokers have to scurry like roaches to another tree or something just over yonder past the parking lot. You cannot sit in your car and smoke on the lot. Funny. I swear as I'm walking to my car each evening, you can see heads bobbing up and down and wisps of something going into the air. I'm guessing either people are breaking the smoking rule or there is a plethora of quid pro quo type action going on out there and secretaries are taken back to their high school or college days - giving "headroom" an entirely different meaning than what Detroit marketing firms want you to think it is. Speaking of quid pro quo, I had to take an online course proving I know what sexual harassment is. Now remember, I'm coming from a place where if something goes wrong in the middle of my day I can stand up, kick my desk, slam my office door and scream "what the [mack truck] is wrong with this [mother hubbard] software you stupid piece of [bucking ship]. [Tuck me] in the [asparagus] I can't figure this [bugger] the [yuck] out. God [dang] [bleepin'] whore......[TRUCK!]". I've done that several times and while it isn't very professional.....it makes me feel a lot better and it makes everyone laugh and then they try to decide if that's the best curse I've ever strung together. Sadly it is not. One time I ran one together playing darts (something else you can't do at a big company) where I combined things like monkeys, [trucks], beans, nuns and whores. When cursing for laughs, you can't go wrong mixing nuns with whores. Anyway, to get back to my point, at the small company where everyone knows each other - it is nothing to say to a female coworker (in my best Jennifer Lopez Spanish Harlem voice) "damn, look atchew girl, you smokin in that skirt, yo". Now I'm taking a test and my online grade will be recorded forever with Human Resources. A sample of the test looks like this....it's a picture of some 40-something year old slob hanging over a scantily clad female at the copy machine. I have to pick which statement out of the four could get me trouble as representing a hostile work environment. The choices read as follows:

A. "Sally, let me know when you're done with the Xerox"
B. "Sally, if the machine needs toner let me know"
C. "Sally, every time I look at your ass my pants get tight"
D. "Sally, what is on the menu for lunch today?"

Of course I picked B. thinking he meant his man parts when he said "machine" and his reference to "toner" meant being buff. I was told I didn't understand the concept and I had to take this part again. The second example showed a male boss dictating to a secretary. First, I giggled at 'dictating' like a 12 year old, then I continued. Only one of these sentences is safe for Bob to say. Can you pick it out:

A. "Take my throbbing penis and put it in your mouth if you want that raise, bitch"
B. "Jesus Christ, what are you eating for lunch? You are not unlike a moose"
C. "Please send my wife some flowers or I'll forget"
D. "Daddy want put fun fun in your pooter"

I was confused by bringing the boss's wife into the picture and got flustered. I chose D. because there was no threat or promise of reward. At this point red lights flashed, sirens screamed and someone came and got me from HR. Everything's fine as I explained I was nuts from being at small companies my entire adult life so they are giving me a second chance. Stay tuned as it is going to be hard to swallow my thoughts as they come to me. It must be possible though, Still A Dog has never been fired and he's got to be worse than me!

The Sopranos: Week 6 Autopsy Report

This was a weird episode for trying to determine the different layers of complexity. In my opinion, there weren't layers or multiple things going on. Clearly, Tony was relieved when he "helped" Christopher die. He was going to die anyway I think, Tony just facilitated it a little quicker. He just wanted to tell somebody. He wanted someone to agree with him. He was like the cat that swallowed the canary - but he couldn't tell anyone and it was killing him. He didn't even feel bad for a second. To him, Christopher's drug problem was an easy way for him (Tony) to go down. He was afraid Christopher would get addicted and get picked up by the FBI and talk. He said in therapy - Christopher dying solved his one big fear. It does leave the door open to see if there is trouble replacing him as the next in line. Also, Paulie Walnuts wasn't happy at all that nobody from the crew came to his mom's funeral. I think that's another error by the writers or Chase, if he didn't write it, he should have still stopped it. I think in the mafia it's customary to come to funerals of the "family" member's loved ones. I don't really think they would have stayed away. Paulie took it as a big slight and vowed to never forget it. AJ continued his road to violence yet was repulsed by it and wondered to his therapist why everyone can't just get along. His violence was racially motivated this time and it wasn't last week. I predicted Christopher would probably die in a previous post. I still think AJ will as well, I just don't know how yet. I still don't think Tony will die as the possibility of a movie will be too tantalizing to kill off the main character - unless, of course, the movie talk was all a smoke screen to set up people thinking this way. One puzzling thing that bothered me was Tony trying peyote. He was so upset at Chrissy for taking drugs and then he does it? What did that mean? That he wanted to try being Christopher for a day? To see what the allure was? I'm not sure. His losing streak is over at the tables and he cries out 'I get it!' at the end of the episode. What does he get? That he was trying to be good and losing...and when he cheats on his wife, kills his cousin and takes drugs - he wins?

How Pittsburgh Are You?

I'm 100%. What are you? Thanks to "Still A, Eh?" for the contribution.

If This Had Happened In Idaho...

In Idaho, Ho killed by Hoe. When you kill someone with a garden tool, do you have to bag them using the special "lawn" bags? If they were a tad overweight do you have to use Hefty brand? How often is the murder weapon also the same tool used to hide the victim? Didn't sound like a 'Crying Game' case or 'Funky Cold Medina'.....he clearly knew the guy had a ........tool? Sorry. Too many jokes all coming at once. That's one ho that didn't mind being taken out to the shed. Well, I'm not sure a man can be called a "ho", but if he was, at least we're calling a spade a spade..... I could go on for hours. Somebody stop me. I wonder if he kept his lawn low and nicely trimmed? Maybe he was hoed to death because he looked like a potato? After he's done using the hoe, he goes for the weed whacker. I'd try to make a joke using a drain snake...butt i'm trying to keep it to garden items....is a post digger a garden item? Anyone else?

Big Pimpin'

Well, not like he was a star or a known entity....but the Steelers released Richard Seigler Thursday shortly after this story broke. He was only active for a few games that I remember. With the linebackers that were drafted he was just going to be a body in camp and cut before the season starts.

Why Didn't We Trade Faneca?

Alan Faneca said yesterday that he has been asking to be traded since February. Now sure isn't the time to do it. We'd be negotiating from a point of weakness since other teams know he wants out. I'm wondering why they didn't trade him on draft day - the nest day in the NFL to make trades? Personally, if he doesn't want to be here....screw him. He's already played 9 years. It's too bad some of these idiots can't follow Bettis' lead and play for less money to stay somewhere where they are loved. The best quote from yesterday has Faneca saying it's unfair to make him play the last year of his contract because there is no security. Ummm, maybe someone should explain to him exactly what a contract is. Yes, a lot of people get new deals when they are in the last year of their contract, but I guess Faneca fits the mold of Porter - are we really going to hand a $40 million dollar contract to someone who has played 9 or 10 years already? If we do, he'll be cut after 2 anyway. This is now Mile Tomlin's team and he wants to build it in his image. He doesn't need a 9 year vet chewing up that much of his cap. He's going to give it to Troy and Ben and deservedly so.

Sean Penn - Celebrity Cock!

I hope Sean Penn has been paying taxes on every cent he's earned, because the IRS is going to be so far up his ass they can look out his huge mouth after this weekend's appearance on Bill Mahr's HBO show.

For the millionth time, I cannot stand these celebrities going on TV and trying to play the part of the intellectual. The entire episode his facial expression was that of one who was smelling his own farts. I was half expecting a pizza delivery guy to walk in and ask "did anyone order a pepperoni?" to which Spicoli, I mean Penn, would stand up and say "whoa, right here dude". My views on the war are not even relevant at this point....I'm just so sick and tired of all of these ultra liberals like Penn, Streisand and Gere running around like chickens with their heads cut off going on-and-on about certain things like they are so much more important than everyone else. So, here's to you Sean Penn.....you big Cock.


Cock Times at Ridgemont High
Cock Boys
The Cock and the Snowman
Cock Surprise
Casualties of Cock
Carlito's Cock
Dead Cock Walking
The Thin Red Cock
Mystic Cock

And my favorite.......I Am Cock.

If you want to watch a celebrity talk about the war in an honest manner - watch Dennis Miller's "All In".

And The Rivalry Begins For Brady Quinn

Thanks Still A South of Steel City South!!

The Sopranos: Week 5 Autopsy

I'm really starting to think my prediction could come true about AJ being the major character that doesn't make it out of the series alive. Depressed over his break-up - he starts spewing suicidal thoughts. Tony has always tried to keep AJ away from the family business, but after seeing his son suffering and talking to Patsi Parisi and seeing how well his boy is doing in "the business" - Tony suggests AJ hang around with him and his friends. AJ gets a rush when they beat the shit out of a kid who cannot pay his gambling debts. There are a lot of things going on with this story line. First and most important is Tony's decision to tell AJ to hang with the Parisi kid. He has to know that it will lead to AJ getting involved. Does Tony realize at this point that AJ is a kid who has no real future in anything legitimate so he swallows hard and gently leads him into the business? The other thing is that Carmela has no idea that AJ is with Parisi. She thinks he is hanging with school friends - not mob friends. How will she react when she finds out Tony pushed him towards this? Will it be the straw that finally breaks the camel's back and she'll leave Tony for good? Maybe it's shaping up to end with AJ dying in a mafia related incident and then Carmela will either leave or potentially whack Tony in a fit of rage? There are so many directions this could go in. Christopher and Paulie will also reconcile their conflict before the series ends and Phil still wants to get even with Tony in some manner. With 4 weeks to go nobody can know for sure, but I'm still guessing that AJ will die either from his own hand, the cops or from something dealing with "the family". If something does happen to Tony, I look for Bobby to take over NJ with Sil advising him if they go into it that far. As miserable as Tony gets sometimes, and as emotional as he seemed for passing his genetic disposition for depression to AJ - he seemed to have suggested AJ hang with this gang rather flippantly. The only other angle I can think of is that AJ will die and only then will Tony realize that him suggesting he hang with the other "mafia kids" lead to his death.

Patriot Way is a Farce?

Good article by Michael Silver of SI. We trade emails on occasion. It all started from me calling him out on an article he wrote about NFL owners. He didn't have the Rooney family in the top 10 and I was one of ten kazillion people who emailed him about it. He's really a cool dude and answers all email pretty honestly. We traded back and forth on the Rooney debate for about a week and then it turned to running, his brother's ultra iron man competitions, our old cars that we roll in, what a "grange" is, the cutting of Joey Porter and his Vegas fight - and who would win a fight in their primes: Porter or Greg Lloyd. We both went with Lloyd as Silver admitted that he's one of the most intimidating people he's ever met.

Things That Make Me Go "Hmmmmm"

Willie Parker is listed at 5-10, 209. I'm guessing that 209 is more like 201. Najeh Davenport is 6-1, 247. Local Pitt guy and childhood Steeler fan Kevan Barlow came in for a free agent visit last week. He's listed at 6-1, 234. If Barlow happens to come on board, that would give us three very diverse runners. Parker would still get the bulk of the carries, but having 2 bigger backs would be nice in short yardage situations. Alas, before we get too excited about bringing in Barlow instead of Verron Haynes (who they are still in contact with) look at these numbers: AVG first three years 4.1, 4.7, 5.1. Nice. AVG last 3 years: 3.4, 3.3, 2.8. Yikes! He was more of a role player in the beginning of his career and when asked to carry the load later, he faltered. Maybe a situation of sharing the load again would do everyone good? I'm on the fence about this one. To me, it looks like it may be an insurance policy for Parker. Having an experienced runner if Fast Willie goes down would be better than what's on the waiver wire at that point in time. If the price is right - I could be convinced.

Dear Yahoo!, Close The Gates!

Why does Microsoft have to buy everything? Rumor has it they want to open negotiations with Yahoo! about a merger. Merger my ass. This is what happens when companies get too big for their own britches and all the owners and CEOs want to whip out their tiny penises and measure up. Way Way Way back in time, when AOL was one of the few ISPs in my area, i used their service. Mind you, this is back in 1993 or so. I hated AOL. It was like an amusement park. I just wanted to get online, I didn't need a cutesy icon for everything. I quickly switched to Netzero when it became available in my area. Right from the start, I used Yahoo! mail. It was free. It was portable....I didn't need to use virus sprouter Outlook.... I beat the corporate giants - I was an Internet rebel with my $9.95 access and email I could get from anywhere (again, not many people offered this service back in the day). Back when Google was only about searching, I used it exclusively. These companies can never leave well enough alone. Pick one thing and do it better than anyone - you don't have to put your grimy little hands in everyone else's pocket. More and more things today are all run by major corporations. I'm a capitalist at heart, but if all the newspapers and radio stations and entertainment outlets are all run by the same giant conglomerate - where is the diversity going to come from? The giants fail to create anything innovative for a long time and the second something comes along thats cool (like YouTube for instance) and has a lot of buzz - they gobble it up. I almost wish some of these companies would stay private and not sell out. Yahoo is already a giant fish that gobbles up guppies and now it might get chewed up and spit out itself. I think some companies gravitate towards open-source software not because it's necessarily better or that they can customize it...I think a certain percentage of open-source users just want something different ie NOT Microsoft. The fact that Gates thinks he can take a piece of iPod's business away is laughable. You cannot improve on perfection. I'd like to know how much money he's wasted trying to do so. Really, how much longer is it before Microsoft starts putting energy drinks on the market?

An Eye For An Eye

Something tells me these two brainiacs were not vegans for very long....

Big Ben, Almost A Year Later

This is simply the best article I've read on "The Crash" since it happened. She's right about it being our Kennedy moment and we all remember where we were when we heard the news. I had just walked into the swim club with my daughter and she was begging me to go in with her but the water was too cold for me so I brought a book to read. I got about 5 minutes into the book and PITA, my nephew, sent me a text message "big ben just crashed his motorcycle". I didn't know what to think at first because I had no info. I sent back "how bad is it?". The reply hit me like a ton of bricks - "they aren't sure if he's alive". I went over to the lifeguard hut because I know they have a PC in there. One of the guards that I'm friendly with plays college football and he was already following the story online so he kept me updated. I was not happy to hear the "no helmet" part of the story, but hey, we were all 25 once. When I was 25, I remember the crazy things I used to do. One time I went swimming in the hot summer sun and didn't put on any sunblock. I could have, but damnit, I was 25 and free. I remember foolishly getting my little red Honda CRX up to 29 or 30 in a 25 mph zone. I was a rebel, almost daring fate at times. I learned my lesson one day the hard way as I snuck in line at the grocery store express lane with 12 items when the sign clearly said "10 Items Or Less". I could feel the cold stare from the elderly woman behind me who only had a bottle of Vick's Vapor Rub. I counted the seconds silently as the girl bagged the eight items of the customer in front of me. The wait and thoughts of being caught were not unlike the main character in Poe's Tell-Tale Heart. Finally the pressure got to me and I excused myself out of the express lane and made my way into the comforts of aisle 7, anonymously dividing the express lane and customer service area. We, in Steeler Nation, can only hope that Ben also learned his lesson that day, and that he puts his wild past.....behind him.

Where Are The Bikini Photos?

Listen, if you're going to report a story like this...stop teasing us and print the goods! Still A. Fan does NOT share an email account with his wife - so anyone that feels like sending bikini photos this way - please do!

Dear Cincinnati, Cleveland and Baltimore..."Suck It"

A nice thing for the city and good for the marketing & travel department. Philly rings in at #5. I've never lived in either city and I'm closer to the Philly Metro area than I was to the 'Burghs, but I'm really glad Pittsburgh got recognized again this year as the nation's Most Livable City. So many people still have this insane idea that it's a dirty place and they couldn't be further from the truth.

For some really cool pics of the city...go back to this post.

Our Punter Can Kick Your Punter's Ass

Check out this clip over at Steel City South.

RoboDrummer

This is too cool if you play drums...maybe even if you don't!