So, tonight on my way home from work, I decided to stop by Toys R' Us to pick up an item or two. The stores are much less crowded at 4:30 PM on a weeknight than on a weekend this close to Christmas. I got the three items that I wanted and headed to the checkout area. They had two main lines operating and the service desk was taking customers as well. The line I was closest to had one customer in it, so I got behind the obvious holiday shopper. It was a lady who was getting on in years, probably a grandmother. Her cart was full but mostly of big items, not that many things, but they took up a bunch of space. The smiling checker scanned her items as two more people got in line behind me. She gave a total of $236. She then asked the still sweet older lady if she would like to save 10% by signing up for a store credit card. Ugh! I was thinking "please say no, please say no, please say no" and she said "no". The checker asked her if she was sure because it would save her $23.60. Wait for it...............after 10 good seconds of thinking, she agreed. Inside, I cursed. It was a good cuss, but I can't remember it right now. The girl asked her for her driver's license. To most people, this could be accomplished rather quickly. To grandma, it took what seemed like 3 minutes. The checker took it and started to enter some stuff. I turned to the people behind me to give them the pained "half-smile raised eyebrows face" to let them know I was irritated. They weren't there. They bolted to the service line and looked to be almost done. After the girl entered the info from the license, she asked the woman another question or two that she answered. She then directed her to the electronic pad that you use to sign your name when paying with a credit card. Great. This should be fun. Technophobe at the wheel! As I contemplated moving lines myself, the other two seemed to be occupied with people that were too smart to get behind this woman. I thought to myself, "it's Christmas...be patient....be like Ben....what would Jesus do?....Jesus would wait for this nice lady to purchase her gifts....". After she poked and prodded at the screen with the stylus, she then turned to the checker (who was crossing her arms at this point) and said something about "social security number". The checker asked her to repeat herself and she said that she wasn't going to give them her social security number. Oh boy. The checker now had to call the manager and I couldn't help but let out a loud "sigh". It's in my nature. Ask Still A Dad. Ask Still A Dog. Ask Still A Wife! The checker told her what I already knew, without a Social Security number, she wasn't getting approved for the card. Given this choice, she now had to think for another 10 seconds. "No, I don't want to do it then". At this point, I'm thinking "Good, push your cart away and let me check out" but I forgot that if she wasn't putting this on her new card, she was still going to have to pay for it somehow! "$236 please", the checker repeated. I started to wonder if Jesus would grab her by the back of her hair and pull her backwards to the ground in one quick, sweeping motion? She pulled out another card and paid the total. I am willing to bet that a total of 12-14 other customers checked out completely in the other two lines while I waited behind someone who doesn't know shit about obtaining a credit card. Every fiber in my body was telling me to switch lanes at every step of this story. The thing is, I've seen this movie before....I know how it ends. Had I moved to another line, magically the old hag in this line would have sailed through the moment I left while the new person in front of me dropped dead of an apparent heart attack or worse yet, tried to pay for an iPod using pennies. I was semi-patient. I made the checker crack up after the woman strolled away without a care in the world, oblivious to the fact that she held people up. I wonder how many times she has handed a credit card over to a waiter or waitress to pay a check? Could it be that she just flat out forgot her Social Security number? We'll never know. As I went to my car to put my stuff in the trunk I noticed her doing the same thing. She looked to be having trouble with a large box and keeping her cart from rolling away as she used both hands on the box. I started to walk over towards her and she looked up and smiled at me as I extended my hands toward her. By now, I think somebody has probably heard her either screaming or beating on the inside of the trunk and let her out. Merry Frickin' Christmas. Ok, Ok, I did see her in the parking lot but she wasn't having any trouble. I just couldn't resist the imagery. It made me smile and it comforted me.
3 comments:
Good Post Still A Fan.
I always pick the wrong line.
But maybe you were smart about not changing lines - I did that at Toys R Us a few months ago and almost got into a fight.
Thre was a lady in front of me buying a bike. But there was a problem when the cashier rang up the bike (because it was an assembled bike and they charge for assembly) Well I didn't have a lot of items but one was large and I didn't have a buggy so I said to my daughter "come on into the other line". That was all I said. I didn't sigh or say it snotty. So, it just so happened when we were checking out the lady with the bike was directly across from me and she said something about impatient people loudy for me to hear. So I fired back "that is is a free country and I am entitled to change lanes if I so choose to do so" and she called me a "primadonna" and I promptly said "well, you know, if the shoe fits I am going to wear it".
That shut her up.
She wasn't expecting that.
But I was afraid she would attack me in the parking lot - honestly I was. You never know about people.
huh huh....she said "buggy".....
that's the first thing i learned to stop saying out here as it was the funniest to most. gumband was a quick second!
What about 'pop'?
I say that just to irk people.
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