President George W. Bush today threatened "severe consequences" on Italy if the International Olympic Committee did not immediately add skeet shooting to the Winter Olympics. Skeet has been a staple of the Summer Games since the inception of shotguns, but sensing another gold medal is now within reach - Bush is trying to strongarm the committee to quickly add Skeet to the winter slate so longtime family friend and Vice President Dick Cheney can put his previously private skills to use for the better of the country. Cheney and his small entourage of 87 medical workers boarded Air Force 2 (Dubbed "Double Barrel" by Dubya) early this morning in anticipation of Bush's demand being met. When asked for a comment, President Bush exclaimed "Anyone that can stare down the barrel of a shotgun and blast pellets into one of his best friend's faces has the steely resolve necessary to compete at this level". Mr. Whittington who was shot by Vice President Cheney wanted to give a statement but could not because half his face was shot off. We'll try to get that comment for you just as quickly as Mr. Whittington's lips grow back. When told that he would be shooting at clay pigeons, Cheney reportedly asked "Clay is just the color of the birds, right? I mean, they're still going to bleed and die...RIGHT?"
Let it be known that Still A. Fan has never voted for a Democrat for President - but this story was just too damn funny to pass on.
1 comment:
Duck! It's Dick.
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