Cartoon Riots Come To An End

The LA riots continued unchecked late last night as thousands upon thousands of angry African Americans looted Watts and nearby neighborhoods apparently over the lack of an African American character in the popular cartoon comic strip "Peanuts". "Peanuts" has come to symbolize American cartoons as possibly the longest running and definitely the most lily white cartoon woven into the American fabric of Sunday comics. "Yo, even the dog white!" shouted a rioter as he threw a brick through a 7-11 store front. Several people who were interviewed claimed to have no idea what "boondocks" was and those that did had no idea that it was in most national newspapers. When confronted with this information most easily dismissed it wondering where their black Charlie Brown was. "We need a face! A recognizable face in the world of comics...." a defeated woman explained. When I asked her how the 52" Samsung plasma TV she had her sons carrying would make up for this injustice she told me her sons needed a bigger TV to share "The Proud Family" experience on. Using this as ammunition I asked her about the fact that "The Proud Family" (an African American cartoon) is run constantly on The Disney Channel. "That show just reinforces stereotypes that all blacks speak in ebonics...From 15 year old girls right up to grandmothers!". Pointing this out as a contradiction for wanting the 52" TV she said TV was different than "print" comics and told her oldest to "get that cracker" so I ran. I narrowly avoided a splinter group who was demanding a black muppet on Sesame Street. They were chanting "Oscar, Kermit, Grover, Bert....No black muppets so you gonna get hurt!". I dodged into the library and found a workstation, brought up Google and started doing some "Peanuts" research as I seemed to remember an African American character. I quickly discovered that there WAS a forgotten character in "Peanuts" named Franklin. I ran into the streets with copies of Franklin pictures imploring the crowds to stop. A group approached me and pointing a gun to my head daring me to repeat one famous line Franklin ever said...or even a plot that centered around him. Thinking quickly, I said "Oh, HELL YEAH, yo, remember that time he knocked up that bitch Sally and carjacked Peppermint Patty's moms?" They shrugged, nodded in agreement and solemnly walked away. Now knowing they were wrong, the crowds dissipated and went home with their new comic hero, Franklin.

Note: Pick up the new "Peanuts" book which features Franklin in "Give me all your money, Charlie Brown" next week in all participating stores.