I posted this sign above the men's urinal today at work. It's been pissing me off for months that people don't always flush. Let's also go ahead and go for the gross out factor by saying that not everyone is a runner and drinks a zillion ounces of water a day making their urine resemble said water. Sometimes when I go in there you'd swear the last person who went and didn't flush actually had swamp water coming out of their body instead of urine. Eeew! Anyway, one day last week I noticed a piece of chewed gum at the bottom of the urinal. Hmmmm. I was a little angry about it, but I considered the 1% chance that someone could have been chewing gum while pee'ing, sneezed....and the gum exited their mouth, violently crashed against the boring beige tile and dropped into the urinal. Riiiiight. So, today, there were TWO pieces of chewed gum in the urinal. Disgusting. The suction of the 87 year old wall urinal isn't strong enough to suck it down. It disappears for a moment and you get a little excited, but it comes crawling back, spinning and turning, only to be pee'd on yet one more time. There aren't many guys in my area. I'm watching. Oh, I'm watching, buddy. The next time I see a guy chewing gum, I'm going to look into his eyes to see what kind of man he is. Nobody knows I wrote the sign as I used the old "block letter" approach. I will keep you posted on my progress as I search for the one I call "The Bubble Flush Bandit".
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
I Work With Animals
I posted this sign above the men's urinal today at work. It's been pissing me off for months that people don't always flush. Let's also go ahead and go for the gross out factor by saying that not everyone is a runner and drinks a zillion ounces of water a day making their urine resemble said water. Sometimes when I go in there you'd swear the last person who went and didn't flush actually had swamp water coming out of their body instead of urine. Eeew! Anyway, one day last week I noticed a piece of chewed gum at the bottom of the urinal. Hmmmm. I was a little angry about it, but I considered the 1% chance that someone could have been chewing gum while pee'ing, sneezed....and the gum exited their mouth, violently crashed against the boring beige tile and dropped into the urinal. Riiiiight. So, today, there were TWO pieces of chewed gum in the urinal. Disgusting. The suction of the 87 year old wall urinal isn't strong enough to suck it down. It disappears for a moment and you get a little excited, but it comes crawling back, spinning and turning, only to be pee'd on yet one more time. There aren't many guys in my area. I'm watching. Oh, I'm watching, buddy. The next time I see a guy chewing gum, I'm going to look into his eyes to see what kind of man he is. Nobody knows I wrote the sign as I used the old "block letter" approach. I will keep you posted on my progress as I search for the one I call "The Bubble Flush Bandit".
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
You either work with multiple men who were not born in the United States or with men who were born in the United States who do not flush just to see how dark their piss will turn when they piss on top of each others piss.
As for the gum, just tell the guys who fit the above description that the big round mint in the urinal is a breath mint. You'll quickly discover who the dumbass(es) is/are.
...and here i thought you were going to razz me about buying a $3 iced black tea at Starbucks just so i could use a pristine bowl for my after fried fish "business". i like a clean palette, what can i say? i've seen enough destruction in the PA turnpike stalls over my years of making that trip to know that a place that serves only deep fried foods with one bathroom.......it ain't gonna be pretty in there. my lily white clean ass needs a lily white clean bowl. amen.
Um, dont you think you could be a little more productive at work?
Taking time to write signs and hang in the bathroom! Shame shame.
And unless nobody at work knows you AT ALL then they would know who put that sign up. Even with that block letter trickster move.
yeah, i could be more productive. i could answer your comment in a smartass manner.....
i'll save that until work tomorrow. natch!
Once you target someone that you think is the culprit, just wait until the next time they use the urinal and then come up behind them and put your hands on their waist and just say "Hi!". Guaranteed they will start using another bathroom.
Post a Comment