PA PC Man To Improve upon Texas Plan

First Skim This <---- Click It Texas is going to have a plan installed where cameras will be on the border hooked up to a live internet feed. Anyone can watch the feed and dial a number on the screen if they see illegal activity. "Superb idea, but not enough" was the mantra coming out of Cabot, PA today. Software guru "Dead Arm" (name withheld to protect his secret identity) has vowed to hack the system and take it one step further. "Myself and the far underground group 'The Tailgaters' are having automatic weapons installed near each camera. Once we hack the system, your mouse will control a moving scope site that will allow you to shoot anyone (if your aim is true) who dares to cross this border illegal like." As he speaks, you get the feeling he is just the man who can get this done. He beckons you in a hushed tone back over to add a sidebar....."you know.....Jim Morrison isn't really dead...". Hmmmmm, or maybe he should be locked up? In any event, Cabot's "Dead Arm" is dead serious about the lack of border control in this country and he is angry. Angry like you have never seen it. Asked what he'll do if the Mexicans tunnel under the border avoiding the cameras and weapons, "Dead Arm" just smiled and opened a sketch book of his crew's new "bunker buster". It looks rather simple in design but it's effectiveness cannot be denied. The design calls for "Dead Arm" himself to go about his normal eating habits for one full day. Small holes will then be drilled at 2 foot intervals along the border in question. A 4-foot length of PVC pipe roughly the diameter of an adult male's anus is also required. "Dead Arm" will then go from hole to hole, inserting the pipe in his ass and passing "wind" into the tunnels. When questioned about the potency of such a device, he gave a reference from his school days to validate the story. We contacted "The Exterminator" who is currently leading a spy's double life in eastern PA. "Yeah I lived with him for a few years, after a few Stoney's, some chicken legs and potato wedges...that boy could.......". The Exterminator suddenly passed out in midsentence just thinking about the pungent aroma of a "Dead Arm" smart bomb. We'll update this story when (if) he regains his senses (we doubt it).