Makes You Say, Huh?

We went to a retro diner tonight for dinner...kind of like a Johnny Rocket knockoff - burgers, shakes, rings, etc. How much more American can you get than the retro diner? The Germans didn't put chili on a hotdog, did they? What struck me as odd at this place as soon as we rolled up to the counter to be seated was the diversity of the work force. I expect it at McDonald's. I'm used to it at Taco Bell. But when the guy walking me to my table at the all American retro diner barely speaks English - it's just a tad odd. There were more workers who think cows are holy in that place tonight than there were in the entire United States in 1955. One could also make the argument that that's progress. Another weird thing I saw tonight was Christmas lights in a yard on the way home. It's February 29th. No, they were Christmas lights, there were candy canes. I kid you not. Red and White sticky goodness and I'm not talking about the waitress pictured here. Christmas Lights! The only valid excuse for that is if the homeowners died in the house, they have no relatives and the lights were on a timer.

Our Little Failure

This article is so hilarious. The headline caught me but as I read the extremely short article, I kept being surprised over and over. The words that jumped off the screen at me? Here they are in order: Girl, Tried, Private, Tried. She is a colossal failure at everything. Mommy and Daddy put you in private school...in oompa loompa ville, probably to keep you away from the crazy kids, and instead you went bat shit. Nice. How hard would it be to light a car on fire? Maybe since she can't seem to grasp the concept of fire or firearms, she should dig one of those tiger pits with the sharp sticks in the bottom and then cover it with test papers or something to attract the teacher to it. If they put her in a padded room, they don't have to be too careful, I don't think she could hurt herself if she tried.

Robbie = 3 Dollar Bill

Much like Simon said, the very first time I saw this dillweed I smelled a rat. He was so obviously a poser it was ridiculous. The good folks over at TMZ just broke this story. He is really, truly unlikeable.

American Ido Recap Week 2

Ok, I didn't see that coming. Out of two sets of ten, I had the four eliminated singers at #10 Jason, #8 Alexandrea, #6 Robbie (YES!) and egads #3 Alaina. I wanted Robbie to not even make the final 24, but that was based on me just hating him - not because he was terrible. Anyway, I had a feeling my two lowest females would be back since I don't watch the program through the eyes of a horny 14 year old boy who just likes looking at Kady. Can't explain how Amanda made it through because you would think if girls who rock are your thing, you would vote for Carly. Oh well, I'll try to do better next week. Maybe once it gets down farther I'll do my rating and then say who I think will leave...not who SHOULD leave.

Free Alpo From Poor Speller

Ninetein Wurds. Fyve Mispeld.

Slanted Simon Says: Ladies Week 2

I think the men did a better job than the ladies with the 70's genre. Here's how I think the ladies shook out:
01. Carly Smithson Sounded just like the record. Wow. Get those Jewel teeth fixed.
02. Syesha Mercado Clear second in the field
03. Alaina Whitaker The fact that I have this third says it was a bad night.
04. Brooke White Not my cup of tea.
05. Ramiele Malubay Pixie needs better song choices.
06. Kristy Lee Cook Hot tomboy looks awkward when getting her groove on.
07. Asia'h Epperson Should be #3 but butchered the low range of that song. Badly.
08. Alexandrea Did Lisa Lopes' wardrobe people dress her?
09. Amanda She scares me, but "feels it" more than anyone. 1 Trick Pony.
10. Kady Malloy Again, Low Register killed her.

All that being said - I have no idea who will leave. Boys will vote for Kady and I'm sure some older hippie types will vote for Amanda. It may be to the point already where people will vote for their favorite - not who did the best job on any given night.

Double Yoi R.I.P.

I woke up in a perfect mood today, and then Still A While broke the news to me via email before I even read today's news. Rest in peace, brother Myron.

Hell Yes

This warms my heart.

Slanted Simon Says - Men Week 2

Well, there were certainly more duds than studs on tonight's show. Still A Dog would say there are no studs, unless they are metal and on black leather.....chaps. Since we're down to 10, I'll add some smallish comments to each entry. I have no fear that I can pick the bottom two out of say....four? I am judging solely on tonight's performance. Here goes:

01. David Archuleta Will waltz into the finals. No real weakness so far.
02. David Hernandez Jumped way up from last week. Huge ego may snag him later. He thinks he's pretty.
03. David Cook Snarky. What's with the scarf? Was my favorite going into Hollywood week.
04. Michael Johns Needs to stop impersonating Jim Morrison / Michael Hutchence
05. Chikezie You can't sing that heavy soul stuff wearing 2 golf shirts and sneakers.
06. Robbie Carrico I want to fight this little turd poser and knock him on his turd poser ass.
07. Danny Noriega He'd make a decent looking girl.
08. Jason Castro I'm pretty sure his IQ is well below average.
09. Luke Why learn his last name when he's gone after Thursday?
10. Jason I had him last last week as well. He is such a D-O-R-K. Nice dancin' homie.

Has anyone else noticed we have Castro & Noriega together? What, no David Hitlers?

Slanted #57 Amish Raising

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That's Paradise

Wow, My good friend Still A While (aka Mis) sent me an email about Carrie Underwood performing in Pittsburgh. She went to the concert and Carrie ended the show with November Rain and Paradise City from Guns 'N Roses. I loved those songs off of Appetite for Destruction. It's too bad Axel was a little wiener or they could still be drawing millions of fans. They had a solid band with a distinct voice and it crumbled over one person. Anyway, enjoy Carrie doing her thing here as I found about 20 versions of it on YouTube. The cool thing about downloading pictures of her to use for the website is that I can blame my daughter for them when they show up in the MyPictures folder. I can't think of many things better than this visually and musically combined. Maybe Kate Hudson singing Tom Sawyer? Carmen Electra singing Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You? Ashley Judd singing Jeremy?

Then How Did They Get Free?

These are either the craftiest witches ever, or the absolute worst lynchers in the history of lynch mobbing. They tried to hang both the husband and wife, but both survived. They tried to put two people to death, yet three came out alive. Bazaar. How did they get free? Magic! Sorcery!

Jerk? Or Not A Jerk?

Well, after complaining for many moons about my current job situation, I finally did something about it. I just wanted to get through the holiday season with no interruptions and then set my inner Monster.com free. Like I said, I'm a small pond fish. Big companies make no sense to me, at least the two I've been part of don't. So I updated the resume and ran it up the flagpole. I applied to four company postings and interviewed with three. I only went for very specific job requirements, proximity had to be close and the company needed to not have more than 250 employees. I landed at a place about 13 miles away with 110 employees with a job description that really fits my skill set. Hopefully I've landed for a while. In 17 years I've had a 12 year run and a 3.5 year run. I don't want to change jobs like I change underwear - but I also want to feel productive at the end of the day and I think I can only accomplish that at a smaller place where you aren't paralyzed by emails, meetings and people running your department who have no business running a lemonade stand. So why the jerk title? Well, if you remember a post from a while ago about me being the TPS Report runner, you may also remember that I run reports on weekends and on vacation days. I can be out with the family on Saturdays and get a call at 2 pm saying it would be so helpful if I could run a report when I get home. Well, as it turns out, as important as those reports are to upper management, would you believe nobody ever asked me to document the manner in which the reports are produced? I take native results from one piece of software and cut/paste them into Excel where about 25 macros are run on the data. I think I forgot to give those macros descriptive names that might suggest which order to run them in. And no matter what anyone tells you, I also didn't leave lines of comments in them that made no sense in reality but if you take the first letter of every line and read down instead of across - it spells out things like....well, use your imagination.

Obama Ralphs After Reading News

Interesting. I guess some GOP'ers in high places finally convinced Ralph to run again this year. I love it that Hilary is getting bitchy about it, then admits "it is a free country". Now if McCain wins a close one, we'll have to hear about how old Ralph turned the tables. Good man, Ralph, see it through. Now the only thing that could make McCain even happier is if Obama wins the nomination and Hilary decides to run as the Green Party representative.

Sweet Jesus!

Do you think anyone screamed that at the moment of impact? Sorry. Somebody was going to say it, it may as well be me.

I Swear I Didn't

I recently had an interview at a local software company and it ended with a phenomenon that is becoming more popular according to my peers - the trick question. How did my interview go? I thought it went smashing but I didn't get hired.....there. This striped bass might be heading back to a small pond though in two weeks. More details later in the week. Anyway, I don't want to get into the specific question I was asked or the giant holes I was able to shoot in the interviewer's logic on my drive home. Why I didn't think of them there I'll never know. For the first time in my life I felt like George Costanza: "yeah, well the jerk store called and they're running out of YOU". I thought about creative ways I could come up with to email the guy back and let him know I came up with holes in his logic, but both Still A Wife and Still A Sis thought for once I should let go and not look back. For heaven's sake - for all I knew, I landed the job. I wanted to be like "um, hey, mister giant I didn't know the answer either until I read the book hiring person, um, my wife hires a ton of people and she was wondering where you got such a clever question and she's looking for more and oh, by the way, did your stupid book consider THIS.....". Then I would pounce on his faulty logic like Rosie O'Donnell on a sand crab during Survivor Celebrity Edition. Whatever. I can lose a battle every once in a while. In my mind I can still win the war by landing a better position at a higher salary than what Alex Trebec was offering. So, that story really has nothing to do with the post. Just a huge back story to say I was book shopping online after talking to a good friend of mine whom we'll call "Missuer Wolf", for the book in the picture above. He recommended it because he too had his brain teased by an interviewer who smugly sat and watched for beads of sweat to start their long trip from brow to chin. Amazon only had paperbacks and I've started building a nice collection of business book hardcovers so I went to ebay to continue my quest. Finally - and this is the true subject of the post - why do people feel the need to claim that a used book is "unread"? I was able to buy a used "but never read" copy of the hardcover for $4.50 plus $4.00 shipping. Not too shabby, but quit the lying for goodness sake. Sure, they might not be lying if only one out of every 100 used books made the claim, but for the 31 used copies of this book on ebay - I think 25 of them have never been read. If I read a book, thought it served no purpose on my shelf and I wanted to sell it on ebay, I might say "No Dog Ears!". I might say "Perfect Spine!". I might say "No rips, tears, markings of any kind!". I might say "I read this book without ever having the read and unread portions farther than 2 inches apart making it damn near impossible to read what was close to the middle". However, I don't think I would ever claim that I didn't read it. I have books that I've read three times that look brand spanking new, pages as tight as a frog's waterproof anus.....guaranteed. I just can't imagine myself looking for a used book and everything seems perfect until I see "Read only once!". Well, Shit. That's a deal breaker right there. Mother Hubbard read the book and he's trying to sell it? Why would I want that?

Rossum Gone

The Steelers released three players yesterday including Allen Rossum and Jerame Tuman. Clint Kriewaldt was a special teaming linebacker. Tuman pretty much was gone after Spaeth proved he could get open in the end zone. While Rossum didn't light the world on fire, he was better than anyone else we put back there to return kicks. If that job goes back to Willie Reid, I'll scream. Actually, I'm betting he doesn't even make the team. What we need is someone who can return kicks, but can also be used at their normal position, like Randle El. Needless to say, we didn't lose anything valuable. Tuman was a bargain, but can be easily replaced. Losing those three will most definitely bring down the average age of the team whichis a need as well.

Can You Count?

The stuff under the free link on Craigslist continues to amaze me and I only ever look locally. Just think what's out there globally. Why doesn't this person know exactly how many are available? And why does it bother me that they don't know?

Four Out Of Six Ain't Bad

Well, I nailed with precision the two bottom women - Amy and Joann. I missed slightly on the men. The two voted off, Colton and Garrett, I had at nine and ten. Not too shabby, but I moved Garrett after the fact. I had him at 11 on my list but when I keyed it in, I thought his boyish charm might win over some 12 year old girls and moved him up one spot. Bad move. Next week should still be easy as well. Slanted.....................................OUT! Sorry, bad Ryan joke.

12 Pack

...maybe 13 depending on Lite beer vs. regular strength.

Slanted Simon Says - Ladies Week 1

I enjoyed tonight's episode more than the men's. Without any commentary at all - here is how I rank the 12 women. The judges seemed to prefer Carly and Ramiele to Syesha, but I think their opinions are based more on past performances than strictly tonight.

1. Syesha
2. Carly
3. Asia'h
4. Alaina
5. Ramiele
6. Amanda
7. Kady
8. Alexandrea
9. Kristy
10. Brook
11. Joann
12. Amy

Jeff Otah......Oh, Doh!

This is lifted entirely from an si.com article on OL prospects - the direction I think our Stillers need to go in Round 1 of the April draft:

4. Jeff Otah, Pittsburgh: A mammoth tackle prospect who displays surprising athleticism and agility for his size. Otah, who has only played five years of organized football, is an emerging talent ideally suited to play in a power based running scheme. He overpowers defenders at the point of attack and shows surprising athleticism working to the second level. Otah is not quite as polished in pass protection, but displays enough lateral quickness and body control to be a quality performer at right tackle. Expect Otah to hear his name called near the end of the first round.

Please notice the red text. Hmmmmm. I don't even pretend to follow college football but my brother from another mother does and I bet he'll chime in and tell us something about this Panther. Can we afford a first round pick whose main thing that needs work is pass protection? Remember, NFL edge rushers are about 37 times faster and stronger than their NCAA counterparts.

Slanted Simon Says

Ok, Ok, Ok, time for Still A Dog to critique my television viewing habits, so it must be time for American Idol to start the weekly competition where America votes for the people they want to stay another week. Like I've said before, my little princess loves music and it's one of the very few shows my entire family watches together. Sure, I'd like to take her in a room, shut the door and turn her on to Led Zeppelin, but she's not quite ready for that. At eight I was listening to Kiss and a few K-Tel "hits" LPs.....Wow, am I dating myself with that tidbit of information. My house typically had music playing when I was young and I remember Still A Dad had some choice picks in his collection including The Doors, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Neil Young and "real" country music - Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson. Even when I was younger than that, my mother constantly had AM radio on during the day and I gained a lot of knowledge about "the oldies" just from barely paying attention to it every day. Where was I going with this......oh yeah......my daughter loves music and loves to sing and she "loves her some Idol" and I have to admit....I do too. So tonight we paid special attention to try to guess who wouldn't make it another week. After watching all twelve acts, I have to say I was jotting down a number 1-10 before the judges opened their mouths and I was in tune with Simon on all but one act. Here is how the Slanted Duo rank the men for Week 1:

1.T David Archuleta (voice)
1.T Michael Johns (performance)
3. David C
4. Robbie (hate him, so fake it brings me to tears)
5. David H
6. Danny
7. Jason C.
8. Chikezie
9. Colton
10. Garret
11. Luke
12. Jason Y

I hereby guarantee that the two kicked off will be in my bottom three.

What's That Humming?

Oh, it's just the shredder over at the local Police Department.

Scheduling Gods Not Happy

Wow. This information has been out for a while, but I haven't put too much thought in it up until this point. Peter King's MMQB article today on si.com lists our Stillers as having the hardest schedule next season based on this year's results. After the six games in our own division, 8 of the 10 teams we play are playoff teams and all 10 finished at or above .500 last year. The Patriots only have 4 games against teams above .500 from last year. That's what happens when you rotate the other Conference Division that you play against. So how did our other six Conference games that the formula comes up with get so much harder than the Pats? I don't know, maybe Matt Walsh made the schedule? Line 'em up, we'll knock 'em down. It will make us better to play against better competition week after week and we won't get a chance to take a game off....like Arizona last year.

Wicky Wicky What?

Funny Bush Beatbox Edit.

Don't Speak Too Soon

The only reason Dan Rooney is coming out and saying this (too early in my opinion) is probably to help the NFL squash this story and get back to business. If I found out anything by reading Dan's book, all decisions must be for the good of the league. Plus, he was a huge backer of Goodell from the beginning of the selection process and he was the one who got to go to Goodell's room and tell him he was the new commissioner. I really hope Mr. Rooney at minimum made those statements about Spygate without being asked to.

I Love Waterboarding

Recently, there's been a lot of talk about waterboarding. The US is going to make it illegal, which I don't understand. I understand that some water communities, especially lakes, have banned jetskis. At least that makes sense due to their noise levels. Waterboarding, at least what I've witnessed, is relatively quiet. Sure, you might scream a little when you're feeling that rush.....but there's little chance of getting hurt. Typically one wrist is tethered to the board when you start so you don't lose your board when submerged. I just don't understand what all the fuss is about. I think the waterboarders of the country should unite and form a group or something to spin the negatives into positives. Whatever the public opinion is, I'm all for waterboarding and I might try it myself when I'm down in Florida this April.

Liar, Liar, Pants On......

Well, Well, Well.....the plot thickens. Seems like the Pats have been taping defensive signals since 2000. Why didn't Goodell give up that information in September? Why does it take Arlen Freakin' Specter to get us that info? The more I hear about this, the more I think there is at minimum a small cover-up. Goodell was trying to protect the sanctity of the league. He's failing. How do we know it was just defensive signals? The other thing is - everyone thought Belimort's punishment was for the one incident against the Jets. If he's been doing it 16 times a year plus playoff games for 7 complete years, that's what, like 125 occurrences of breaking a cardinal rule of the NFL? Chrissy Twocoats, I smell something rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's not Tom Brady's Stetson.

Slanted #56

Sink Your Teeth Into This

Marv Albert "backed" into the role of the best announcer for the Super Bowl by showing some emotion during the Eli Manning to David Tyree pitch and catch....something Joe Buck failed to do. Awful Announcing sunk their teeth into this story and did a great job as I was thinking the same thing while watching. I work with a die-hard Giant's fan and he swore on Monday morning the announcing was slanted against the G-Men. Marv's version definitely had more bite. Sorry.

Roy Scheider Bites It

Scheider (1932-2008), best know for his work in Jaws passed away today. Upon seeing his body, the funeral direcor declared...."We're going to need a bigger box". Sorry. I came up with that line at lunch today and it killed. Speaking of sharks, check this ugly thing out....

Slanted #55

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Death Of A Salesman

What a superb day I had today. My princess is a Brownie and of course it's Girl Scout Cookie time across the Nation. No longer do you just bother family, friends and neighbors - you have to sign up to work booths in your neighborhood. My daughter has a craft store booth next weekend and had the Wa-Wa booth today. Next week's booth shift is 2 hours. Today's shift was 4 hours. Since my wife and I are dividing this task between the two of us, I deemed the customers at a craft store to be much safer than the random crowd that stops in at a Quick-Stop type store like Wa-Wa in the morning. Heck, when I was young, sometimes we were stopping at Wa-Wa in the AM for what we wanted folks to think was breakfast, but in reality, we never made it home yet from the night before. I'll never forget the night (morning?) Vailler and myself walked (stumbled) home from The Rat in West Chester and decided we were hungry. We went into a Wa-Wa and came out the proud owners of 2 cans of Chef Boyardee Cheese Ravioli. We made it back to his place and opened the cans and ate the contents at room temperature - right out of the cans. Damn that seems like so long ago yet I remember it very vividly. Anyway, you get my point. There would be a lot of cash involved and my Spidey Sense was telling me I should go. It was about 36 degrees this morning when we started at 9:45 AM but it warmed up to a balmy 42 before we were done. I got bad information from weather.gov and did not dress approriately to be outside for 4 hours. The 5 workers at Wa-Wa bought a combined ONE box of cookies. This is no lie, the 4 of us in the booth bought from Wa-Wa: 5 hot chocolates, 1 44 oz Diet Coke, 1 bag of sour worms, 1 bag of Swedish fish, 1 bagel with cream cheese, 1 Jr. Ham & Cheese Club, 1 Classic Turkey & Swiss, 1 Icee. Did I say they bought 1 box of cookies? Good for them. Anyway, I should have been an anthropologist as I simply love to watch people. From what I could tell, the following groups would all be represented: those who buy happily, those who buy begrudgingly, those who say "No, thank you" very politely and keep going, those who feel they have to tell a lie (I would buy some, but my husband has TagALongOpia and kills puppies and kitties if he eats just one cookie), those who grunt in place of saying "No", those who walk right past without even acknowledging the cute girls who asked very politley, those who notice the girls on the left of the entrance and go out of their way to enter the door on the other side and finally - those who slow down pulling into the lot and then turning and burning rubber at the sight of the familiar sashes around our girl's shoulders. We cut the 4 hours 20 minutes short as we hit 100 boxes plus $10 in cash donations to send boxes to Iraq (for the troops, not the camels). The girls did very well and were very polite. They even said "Thanks anyway" when they were turned down. Since this was my first time selling at the entrance of a store, it gave me great insight for the next time I have to pass a group like this. The thing that is appreciated the most if you don't want to buy? A very upbeat "Aw, thanks, but my ______ is a ________ and I (am selling them myself OR already bought some) but good luck today!". A few people just gave $1 instead of buying. I'm not even sure they realize thats what goes to Iraq. So, the lesson for today - if you don't intend on buying - don't crush these little girls by walking right past them. Karma is a bitch. Ask Bill Belichick.

Rambo XVII Repel The Reaper

Wow. Can we please have an age appropriate action star please? Sly is holding up two fingers to tell his people that he just went #2 in his adult diaper. I hear in the next Rocky offering Sly will fight Abe Vigoda. Wait...is he dead...hell, it doesn't matter. The weird thing is, Rambo is getting decent reviews for the action sequences. I think I'll wait for it to show up on cable. By that time, they should be filming Rambo XVIII, where Rambo battles Fidel Castro to see who can pick up the most babes at church bingo.

** Spoiler ** Castro wins.

What's The Solution For This?

This sickens me to my core. My own princess is on a swim team. It's one thing to worry about the pedophile cruising the neighborhood, but when you have to start worrying about people who have an implied power over your child like priests and coaches, it's a wonder anyone with kids can even sleep at night. I read a lot of books on this subject thanks to a friend who is in the security business. Some good ones are The Gift Of Fear, Protecting The Gift, Strong Fathers Strong Daughters and Tears Of Rage. The best thing you can do is integrate yourself into your kid's life. I have a superb relationship with her coach and I trust him as much as you can trust somebody that you don't really know. We bought our daughter the video produced by John Walsh and the creator of Baby Einsteen - "The Safe Side" Stranger Safety a few years ago. It's very well done and I agree with 98% of the things taught in the video. What's sad is this - they teach kids that people who aren't your immediate family members fall into categories "Kind Of Know" and "Don't Know". Besides your immediate family, the video suggests you pick 3 other people as "Safe" adults for your child. I used to think that was bunk( the number 3), but in the end, who do you really know? The video poses the question "Your soccer coach comes over and tells you that your mom said he is supposed to drive you home today, get in". Well, it's a sad state that yeah, the coach is a "Kind Of Know". Years ago teachers and priests would have been the people to turn to even if the parents didn't know them well.....the community had entrusted these people with the safety of their children. Now? Nope. There are fewer and fewer males that I feel absolutely comfortable with having my daughter alone for any amount of time. It's a shame, but it's true. Parents trusted this piece of shit to teach their kids about teamwork and community. He chose instead to watch them undress. I think a new law should be drawn up that if minors are involved and the person in question is a teacher, man of the cloth or coach - the penalties need to be stiffer. Either that, or turn the dads loose on them....I'm good with either.

Wait....What?

My daughter is 8. She knows plenty of kids who are 11. It's bad enough that this idiot 26 year old mother gave her own daughter illegal things to ingest - but what about her friends that were there? The day I find out that another adult gave my daughter something illegal (and I don't care if she's 17) there's going to be trouble. Read: Not A Stern Phonecall

Code?

This seems a bit odd to me. No, not because he can't spell "Hilfiger", this is free stuff remember. Doesn't it almost seem like a weird code, like the politician who got caught in the airport stall. Didn't he tap a newspaper and then put his hand under the stall wall or something? There are many exclusive clubs and fraternities and folks who share a healthy interest of the same thing that feel each other out first by saying something in code. "Are you holding?" is a good one. "Do you party?" comes to mind. "Would you like to come to my apartment and pick up a free pair of Tommy shorts size 34?" sounds like another one to me. I think whomever shows up to get them will not be surprised that the owner is IN the shorts when he gets there. Not that there's anything wrong with that...... Dude doesn't even say if they are new or used....soiled or soil free....... I get giving clothes away. We give clothes to a Church thrift store in 30 gallon trash bags. If I get an item I didn't want, or it didn't fit, or I didn't like it....in the bag it goes until the bag is full. I just can't wrap my head around dealing with strangers and email for 3 days over a pair of shorts (which is worth a lot more than used ice cube trays, btw). I'll still hold firm that if I want extra ice cube trays for a party....I'll buy 2 for .99 before I go pick up used ones from a stranger. Wolf!

Slantedamus 19-0

Hey! I predicted this Monday at lunch and got a big laugh.

Damn Right I Got The Blues

I've seen Eddie Van Halen. I've seen Jimmy Paige. I've seen Steve Vai. I've seen Kenny Wayne Shepherd. I've seen Joe Satriani. On March 28th I'm going to see the Grand Daddy of them all....Buddy Guy. Buddy Guy was Jimmi Hendrix before Jimmi Hendrix was. Though I was always a Zeppelin fan and appreciated other rock acts rooted in the Blues, it wasn't until the weekend The Baltimore Ravens opened their new stadium against the Pittsburgh Steelers in September of 1998 that I got a full dose of the "real" Blues...courtesy of Still A Dog. I was also introduced to Cognac that same weekend. Come to think of it, I believe I was also introduced to the future Mrs. Dog on that trip. My iPod is currently filled with acts I have to explain to some of my friends - Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, James Cotton, Mississippi Fred McDowell, Willie Dixon, Pinetop Perkins & Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown to name a few. Dog sent me mixes on CD to give me a variety of things to listen to so I could start collecting what I liked...and I liked the early electric guitar work.....a lot. I have over 80 tracks by Guy and I love every one of them. Now, I get to check him out at a small venue which is everyone's dream with an artist they like. He'll be at the Sheraton in Reading and the rows of seats only go from A-Z. Since my glass is half full, I can tell you I'm in the 22nd row. I can't wait.

Is There A Doctor in the House?

I don't know about you, but I don't want a cardiologist working on me who doesn't know how to use the word bound. And if I happen to be wrong, and you can use it like that....well, what do you want - I'm not a heart surgeon!

Belichick Cements Biggest AssClown Ever

I hate him. Hate him, hate him.....hate him. He is so smug. So not gracious. He is...Bill Belimort. If Karma does exist, it showed tonight as the New York Football Giants held the Patriots in check on defense and then delivered the knockout punch with less than 40 seconds to play to win Super Bowl 42. I was kind of happy for Plax. I was happy for Strahan and Osi. That's about it though.....unless you count me thinking it's funny that Tiki slammed the entire organization last year basically. Some random thoughts:

Belichick is such as asshole for not staying out there for the final play. He knew damn well they put one second back on the clock. The ref told him while they were at the middle of the field.

What was Peyton Manning wearing? Could he look cool just once? He's either in his uniform, his ugly gym shorts or dressed like The Captain from Captain and Tennille. He's like a Harvard frat brother or something. When your brother is in the Super Bowl and you are going to watch, you don't have to dress like a banker on a casual Friday...mmmm'K?

The pressure was relentless. I loved seeing Brady get hit and hit often. I'm so sick of watching his games when everything goes his way. America was tired of it. Didn't you just know they were going to score a TD with 3 minutes to go? That's why I hate him.

Did you see the national voting for best Dynasty of all time? The 70's Steelers got 29% of the vote. The 2000 Patriots were last at 14%. I think the 80's Niner's were second. Can't remember the ordering of 60's Packers and 90's Cowboys. First and last was all that mattered to me.

I think if Belimort didn't coach the Patriots they would be liked a lot more by fans of other NFL teams.

Eli stepped up and had a really really solid game. Holy cow are the talking heads going to eat crow tomorrow. Everyone thought the game would swallow him whole.

What a superb game for football fan to watch. One of the most competitive games I can remember watching.

The Giants front 7 is going to be good for a long time, even when Mike hangs them up. Even if that ends up being tomorrow.

Best commercial? Charlie Brown getting the Coke. Tom Petty? Meh.

Well Well Well

Roger seems to be Roger Dodger on this subject, does't he? The cCommissioner asked the Patriots about it and they denied it. Well, that's good enough for me! What percentage of prisoners in the clink would tell you they didn't do anything either? Here's what I think: I think there was an elaborate scheme and it was all documented and filed and when Goodell found it, he destroyed it so people would keep watching football and not be disgusted by it. If people thought there was espionage going on, they might tune out, so Roger dove on the grenade and will now keep defending his decision. What we need now is for a disgruntled ex-employee to come out and come out hard. Also, the idiots that say it only helps with teams they play twice are just that.....idiots. How many times do former coordinators become head coaches? How many times do they take their systems with them? Thank You! If they tape a guy one season and the next season he is a head coach in their division, the information becomes invaluable. I predict in the next year, we're going to learn a lot more about this. Go Giants!

Slantedamus - Sacked!

I thought this was very telling. I was checking to see what Google searches lead people here this morning and someone recently read a post from August after the second preseason game. Here is what I said:

I was flabbergasted at the revolving door impersonations done by Marvel Smith and Max Starks. Don't think every team in our division didn't see that display. I'm not sure I fully understand why Max is being tried at the opposite position? Are we thinking this is Marvel's last year and we might move Max after the season is over? Does this year have to suffer because of it? My 7-year-old daughter and some of her friends could have sacked Roethlisberger Saturday night. Let's face it, we had some glaring weaknesses protecting the QB.

How telling is that? Something that was a glaring weakness in Week 2 of the preseason to everyone who watched the games was never corrected and bit us in the ass the rest of the season and in the playoffs. I think Still A Dog said it earlier this year - we may need to draft seven linemen this spring.

Montel Tells It Like It Is

Montel Williams completely ambushes these guys from a Fox morning show. The man clearly has a point. But when the Fox crew gets a bit defensive, why didn't they point out that he used to have talk show that probably exploited all sorts of talk show weirdness. I can't say with certainty since I haven't seen it in forever, and I don't remember it being as bad as Springer or Maury - but nonetheless, him being this self righteous is at minimum a tad hypocritical.....but I agree with him.

Impressed By Bill Clinton

So Bill Clinton has been on my radar since about 1990 and I can't ever remember thinking "Man, I'm impressed by that" after hearing something he said. Until now.

Matt Damon

If you're a Kevin Smith fan, you knew all about Matt Damon way before most of your friends did. Since Damon and Affleck were associated with the View Askew crew since Mallrats came out, I've followed both of their careers pretty closely - but I've easily enjoyed Damon's film career more. I also listen to Howard Stern every day so I'm fans of Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman as well. This pairing of Damon and Silverman is pure genius. GENIUS, I tell you!