
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Fanboy Gets More Love

Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Fast Willie Makes Some Fast Cash
Doing what they do best, the Steelers today locked up Willie Parker for 4 years while he was already under contract. The deal is reportedly worth $13.6 million dollars with a signing bonus of around $3.5 million. What's super about a deal like this is that they get a young player, who gained notoriety in the Super Bowl, who isn't making a ton of cheddar yet...and they dangle $3.5 million in front of him to sign right now and he has little choice but to do so. These guys want money and they don't want to wait for it. The Steelers would MUCH rather have $13.6 over 4 years with less than $4 million guaranteed as opposed to $13.6 over 4 years with $8-$9 million up front. It's a wonderful job by the front office and a fantastic contract in my opinion. Now we'll see if they get Ben or Troy done before the season starts. I would think Troy comes first, but we'll have to wait. I don't think he's more important, but he has fewer years left on his contract.
Funny Commercial From 1982
Check it out here. Well, I guess it's not too funny if you're, well, you know.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
How Much Does Air Cost?
This clip is hilarious. It seems that some students played a prank on another student government kid of some kind....who has NO sense of humor whatsoever. Reminds me of some of the pranks we played in college. The one I remember best? I lived in a GDI house with about 11 other guys my last 2 years of school. We had a common area kitchen and my roommate and I would lean silverware and huge plastic cups full of water up against a high cupboard door. When the door was opened by someone, the contents would come falling down on them. It was beautiful because we would hear it happen and then come out and act as if we were dismayed by who would do such a thing. Well, we had a large, stupid, muscle-head Acacia brother who lived in the basement and he was one of the few people in the house who wasn't really a friend of ours as we didn't have enough people to fill out the house. People eventually started to open the doors very slowly to make sure they weren't booby-trapped so we didn't get anyone for a long time. One trap was set and not touched for over a month. When the semester ended, the moose's mother was in the kitchen gathering up his belongings and she set off the trap and screamed as various spoons, forks, spatulas and close to 96 oz. of stale water rained down on her. Dude came flying up the steps and started to freak out. Our door was the closest one and he banged on it first. It may have been my finest piece of acting as I came out and acted disgusted that this happened to his mom. Man, those were the days.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
The Proof Is In The Pudding
This is from an AP story:
BEIRUT, Lebanon - Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah said in a TV interview aired Sunday that he would not have ordered the capture of two Israeli soldiers if he had known it would lead to such a war.
Hezbollah guerrillas killed three Israeli soldiers and seized two more in a cross-border raid July 12, which sparked 34 days of fighting that ended Aug. 14. Five other Israeli soldiers were killed as they pursued the militants back into Lebanon.
"We did not think, even 1 percent, that the capture would lead to a war at this time and of this magnitude. You ask me, if I had known on July 11 ... that the operation would lead to such a war, would I do it? I say no, absolutely not," he said in an interview with Lebanon's New TV station.
Good. Good. Good. If you retaliate ten-fold when you are picked on, maybe you won't be picked on again in the future. A very logical conclusion if you ask me.
BEIRUT, Lebanon - Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah said in a TV interview aired Sunday that he would not have ordered the capture of two Israeli soldiers if he had known it would lead to such a war.
Hezbollah guerrillas killed three Israeli soldiers and seized two more in a cross-border raid July 12, which sparked 34 days of fighting that ended Aug. 14. Five other Israeli soldiers were killed as they pursued the militants back into Lebanon.
"We did not think, even 1 percent, that the capture would lead to a war at this time and of this magnitude. You ask me, if I had known on July 11 ... that the operation would lead to such a war, would I do it? I say no, absolutely not," he said in an interview with Lebanon's New TV station.
Good. Good. Good. If you retaliate ten-fold when you are picked on, maybe you won't be picked on again in the future. A very logical conclusion if you ask me.
The Hitters Are Back
Did everyone see Anthony Smith level JR Reid the other night? Was that classic? He was going to make the team anyway - but that hit sealed the deal. Sweet. Look at the hitters the Steelers have who don't even start....Smith, Carter, Harrison. I was impressed and not worried at all about their record. Their record is really a reflection of just how bad Boyd and Jacobs are. Pee-yew, they STANK. I'm fine with 2 QBs and Ced as the emergency QB. Also, I was glad to see Kuhn doing well. I seriously think Staley will be cut and Kuhn will be the new "big man". I just hope Cowher isn't a lame duck and allows Duce to hang around too long - it will remind me of Kordell. I still can't believe Korky almost took us the entire way in '97 and then forgot how to play after that. Well, it was a combination of things...too many Offensive Coordinators, defenses that adjusted to him, injuries to the line....but in the end, Cowher gave him too many chances out of being stubborn because he selected Korky and Donahoe wanted Jim Miller. In reality, neither was a bonafide NFL QB. Man, we had some laughers inbetween Bradshaw and Roethlisberger didn't we? Could we name them all? Let's try. Without using the internet - these are the bad apples I remember: Mike Kruzek, Cliff Stoudt, Mark Malone, David Woodley, Todd Blackledge, Bubby Brister, Neil O'Donnel, Korky, Jim Miller, Kent Graham, Tommy Maddox. Did I miss anyone who started more than a handful of games? Aha, Mike Tomczak. Glad they cut him....my wife thought he was cute.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Top Cock: Cruise Is This Week's Celebrity Cock
We don't really need an intro for Tom do we? Paramount want's to cut ties with him because he's been acting strangely.......you THINK????
Mission: Cock
Cock Business
All The Right Cock
The Color Of Cock
Cocktail....hey, wait a minute.....
Cock Man
Minority Cock
Cock On The 4th Of July (my favorite)
Cock Of Thunder
A Few Good Cock
Interview With The Cock
Vanilla Cock
The Last Cock
Mission: Cock
Cock Business
All The Right Cock
The Color Of Cock
Cocktail....hey, wait a minute.....
Cock Man
Minority Cock
Cock On The 4th Of July (my favorite)
Cock Of Thunder
A Few Good Cock
Interview With The Cock
Vanilla Cock
The Last Cock
Whoa! France Is Sending 2,000 Troops To Lebanon
I bet that put the fear of Allah into Hezbo and Israeli troops. I'm surprised France even has 2,000 troops. If you read my rant on Jerry Rice, I look at France in much the same way....they are STARVING for attention and want to act like they are still relevant. How in the hell is France supposed to defend the border? In Border Defense 101 the French manual says: Put your right arm out with your right palm up, slowly turn to your right while saying "...in you go". I mean, REALLY. French troops are going to keep the peace? I think Chirac is just a chicken shit and he doesn't want to upset Bin Hidin or feel his wrath. London had it's subway bombed and Chirac doesn't want that in Paris. I don't even understand how France keeps it's place in the G8. The Israeli Army is gearing up for training in case they have to penetrate the French "wall". Israel's plan has been a secret up to this point but intelligence now suggests if they have to, they will send 7 little Israeli girls (ages 6-9) armed with rulers, sharpened pencils and rubber bands to overrun the 2,000 rude, cigarette smoking troops. When told of this plan, the man in charge of the troops, Gi Le PhooFoo, shuddered and started to visibly sweat. "No, No...not zee leetel gurlz?!" The terrorists from Hezbollah were also busy working on a plan to fight the French troops should it come to that. Hezbollah is down to 23 troops after a good old-fashion ass kicking by the Israeli forces, but they are still confident that they - along with their vast weaponry - can overpower the French. When asked to display their arsenal of weapons needed to destroy the French, they proudly showed their collection including a rusty soda can, an old 9V battery, 2 candles, various balls of string and twine, a gathering of pebbles (which appear to have sharp edges) and some rotten eggs. Their leader mentioned they would like to defeat the French using only the soda can, 1 of the candles and a few of the sharp pebbles. They are saving the rest incase Israeli forces cross the border again. France. Puh-leaze! France couldn't stop my 6-year-old's summer camp from rioting.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Hilarious Ad Links In Article
You know how tricky websites are with placing appropriate ads with their article content? I saw something this morning that made me cry! Bryant "I want to be white" Gumbel made some comments about the new football commissioner on his HBO show this week. In speaking to him from his pulpit he said something like "make sure Tags shows you where he keeps the leash that he keeps Gene Upshaw on". He also went on to call Upshaw Tag's personal pet. I'm not sure I agree with those statements as Upshaw just negotiated to get the players 60% of all revenue which is the highest percentage of the 4 major sports. Four? Is hockey a major sport? They must be talking about Football, Baseball, Basketball and Bowling. Anyway - as I got to the bottom of the SI.com article about several ex-players firing back against Gumbel, I notice a box of 4 online ads off to the side. All 4 ad links were for either pet stores or direct links for pet leashes!!! How funny is that?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
J-Peezy Relaxes A Little
Read This. I love Peezy. Don't get me wrong, he's one of my favorite players. He might not be the brightest bulb in the pack all the time, but he plays 125% full tilt...and he's mean. However, how smart is it to complain about your contract when you play outside linebacker and James Harrison is begging for playing time? Peezy is getting close to $4 mil this year and over $5 in 2007. He needs to understand that he is part of a team. He's part of the core....the signed core. After this season and next, I'm not sure he'll still warrant that kind of money. Plus, the Steelers are OUTSTANDING at drafting LBs. Don't think for a second that we'll break the bank to keep Joey happy while he's under contract. Troy and Ben are the two huge concerns. Man, maybe Cowher is smart when he looks at the list of players coming due on contracts...NC does seem like a nice place to retire.......for a few years.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Jerry Bugs Me
Jerry Rice is the one of the best receivers of all-time. I'll grant you that. I'm not going to say he's the best hands down because I don't agree with that statement. He may have the best numbers and the best work ethic, but I can never remember being excited to see him play. I don't remember that many sick catches that he made. What I do remember is him catching a ton of quick slants and splitting defenders as he took it to the house. Sure, he has the numbers, and I might sound like an idiot for saying this, but he also worked with an offensive genius and two of the best QBs of all-time. It also doesn't hurt to have John Taylor and T.O. on the other side of you for years drawing attention. If we looked at the other top 5 receivers of all-time, who did they play with? Rice first irked me when he went to Denver saying he just wanted to make the team and contribute. When Shanny told him he would make the team, but only as the 4th or 5th receiver - Jerry decided to call it a career. What happened to just wanting to contribute? I smell a media whore when I sniff Jerry. I always did. True, NFL receivers are the princesses of the league, but Jerry took it to a new level near the end of his career. I thought it was below him to be on Dancing With The Stars and I think he was suffering from John Elwayitis and Magic Johnsonitis.....fear of being without an audience. He was also on America's Greatest Inventor and had the dude that developed the trainer for receivers falling all over him while he stood there and ate it up. Sickening. Well, Jerry is back in the news as he's going to sign with the 49er's and then retire with them. Great. Who Cares? I heard him on NFL radio on Sirius this week and if he could speak better or put together sentences that make sense instead of just babbling cliches - maybe he could have a career in broadcasting. I doubt that's going to happen as we found out in a hurry what happens to broadcasters that can't talk. Look at Eric Dickerson and Jim Kelly. Wow! I could find 6th graders that have a better command of the English language than those two. Jerry has the numbers, but do you remember him making tough 3rd and 7 catches in the middle of the field and getting pummeled? Me Either. Can you remember how many short TD catches Jerry had? He didn't work well in tight spaces. If I was inside the 10, I'd take Cris Carter over Jerry every day of the week. I don't think Jerry was the best receiver ever....I just think he was the healthiest and that's what lead to all the numbers. I think it's overdone that every time this guy makes an appearance on TV we have to keep annointing him the best receiver ever. What an ego. I don't know who the best ever was - I'll think about it - but man, dude needs to sail off into the sunset. I'm sick of him.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Kelly Clarkson Rocks
Who is Yellowcard? Should I know them? Anyway, here's a clip of Kelly Clarkson (drunk) getting onstage with Metal Skool to perform a little. I actually like the way she adds harmony to "Sweet Child 'O Mine" which has always been a favorite song of mine.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Now Here's Good News
Duce Staley may be on his way out By Jim Wexell, For the Herald-Standard08/17/2006
LATROBE - Bill Cowher gave running back Duce Staley the day off Wednesday, but the Steelers' coach didn't say whether Staley had ever heard of Wally Pipp. Those who are kind say that Staley has looked sluggish this camp, or rusty, and that he must continue carrying the football to strip away that rust. Others feel there may be too much rust for the 31-year-old to overcome. Staley hasn't carried more than 17 times in a game since his 125- yard performance against New England on Halloween of 2004. Since then, he's averaged 3.4 yards per each of his 79 carries, and only 3.1 per carry in his last three appearances. Much like Willie Mays the New York Met, Staley's weight is up and his average is down. Fresh legs might not get it done, so the Steelers' depth in the backfield remains dangerously thin.The Steelers expected rookie Cedric Humes to provide depth, but the seventh-round pick has a thin frame and runs too upright for their inside game. It's an equation for injuries or fumbles or both, and Humes obliged with a goal-line fumble last Saturday in the preseason opener. He'd fumbled twice during end-of-practice team scrimmages and lost six fumbles at Virginia Tech, so he's closing in on strike three.There's another young back who could provide the Steelers with some punch. He's the camp sleeper, a big, quiet back who wears his position coach's old number - 42."I like John Kuhn," said running backs coach Dick Hoak. "He's coachable and gets better every day. He's a tough runner, and if he keeps working to get those pads lower he'll turn into a good blocker, too."Blocking - in particular lead blocking - is important for Kuhn because it would allow the Steelers to use him at fullback and tailback. The 255-pounder is the all-time leader rusher at Division II Shippensburg (Pa.) University, where he was a fullback in the wing-T offense. Kuhn signed with the Steelers as a free agent after the 2005 draft, was cut prior to the season, but was signed to the practice squad Nov. 30. He remained with the team through the Super Bowl and is the proud owner of a championship ring.Kuhn is back this season, and he'd like to be the proud owner of a roster spot. He's faster than Jerome Bettis at the end of his career, and certainly faster than Staley at this point. Whether it's with the practice squad or final roster, Kuhn will be around for a while."Basically it's about getting a year under my belt, getting some playing time, some practice time, getting to understand the offense better and going out there with a clear head," said the York, Pa. native. "Being able to play better mentally allows you to play better physically because you can just go out there and relax. Basically, that's all it is. I feel much better out on the field. I'm not having to think about things two or three times before it comes to me. It's a lot more natural this year."Kuhn carried two times Saturday for 15 yards. His best run gained 11 yards up the middle in classic Steelers plow-horse fashion. But right now, in classic Steelers plow-horse fashion, Kuhn's more concerned with his blocking."I think they really want me to be a fullback, so I want to come in and give them what they want," he said. "Being able to play halfback isn't a bad second option."What has Hoak taught him about blocking?"He's taught me how to be more, I guess, more mean, to stay low on my blocks and try and really drive the guys out of the hole and get underneath them rather than just getting in front of the guy and kind of absorbing the block," he said."I'll do whatever it takes to be a part of the team. I loved last year, just being on the practice squad and being here. This year I want to do whatever it takes to get on the field."
LATROBE - Bill Cowher gave running back Duce Staley the day off Wednesday, but the Steelers' coach didn't say whether Staley had ever heard of Wally Pipp. Those who are kind say that Staley has looked sluggish this camp, or rusty, and that he must continue carrying the football to strip away that rust. Others feel there may be too much rust for the 31-year-old to overcome. Staley hasn't carried more than 17 times in a game since his 125- yard performance against New England on Halloween of 2004. Since then, he's averaged 3.4 yards per each of his 79 carries, and only 3.1 per carry in his last three appearances. Much like Willie Mays the New York Met, Staley's weight is up and his average is down. Fresh legs might not get it done, so the Steelers' depth in the backfield remains dangerously thin.The Steelers expected rookie Cedric Humes to provide depth, but the seventh-round pick has a thin frame and runs too upright for their inside game. It's an equation for injuries or fumbles or both, and Humes obliged with a goal-line fumble last Saturday in the preseason opener. He'd fumbled twice during end-of-practice team scrimmages and lost six fumbles at Virginia Tech, so he's closing in on strike three.There's another young back who could provide the Steelers with some punch. He's the camp sleeper, a big, quiet back who wears his position coach's old number - 42."I like John Kuhn," said running backs coach Dick Hoak. "He's coachable and gets better every day. He's a tough runner, and if he keeps working to get those pads lower he'll turn into a good blocker, too."Blocking - in particular lead blocking - is important for Kuhn because it would allow the Steelers to use him at fullback and tailback. The 255-pounder is the all-time leader rusher at Division II Shippensburg (Pa.) University, where he was a fullback in the wing-T offense. Kuhn signed with the Steelers as a free agent after the 2005 draft, was cut prior to the season, but was signed to the practice squad Nov. 30. He remained with the team through the Super Bowl and is the proud owner of a championship ring.Kuhn is back this season, and he'd like to be the proud owner of a roster spot. He's faster than Jerome Bettis at the end of his career, and certainly faster than Staley at this point. Whether it's with the practice squad or final roster, Kuhn will be around for a while."Basically it's about getting a year under my belt, getting some playing time, some practice time, getting to understand the offense better and going out there with a clear head," said the York, Pa. native. "Being able to play better mentally allows you to play better physically because you can just go out there and relax. Basically, that's all it is. I feel much better out on the field. I'm not having to think about things two or three times before it comes to me. It's a lot more natural this year."Kuhn carried two times Saturday for 15 yards. His best run gained 11 yards up the middle in classic Steelers plow-horse fashion. But right now, in classic Steelers plow-horse fashion, Kuhn's more concerned with his blocking."I think they really want me to be a fullback, so I want to come in and give them what they want," he said. "Being able to play halfback isn't a bad second option."What has Hoak taught him about blocking?"He's taught me how to be more, I guess, more mean, to stay low on my blocks and try and really drive the guys out of the hole and get underneath them rather than just getting in front of the guy and kind of absorbing the block," he said."I'll do whatever it takes to be a part of the team. I loved last year, just being on the practice squad and being here. This year I want to do whatever it takes to get on the field."
"Sweats" Takes It Easy....Again.
Am I crazy? Am I? I just read the single craziest thing I've ever read as a Steeler fan. This is from steelerslive.com this morning:
Running back Duce Staley did not practice in the two-hour afternoon session. His absence was not injury related. Cowher said he decided to give Staley a rest.
WHAT? The other night Duce couldn't even get out of his own way. He may be my least favorite player right now....and I WANT to like him. I WANT him to want to carry the load. What the hell kind of team leader can sit out practice when he's healthy? If they are trying to prevent injury by not playing him, good luck. Duce could get hurt sneezing too hard. The only way I would accept Cowher giving uce a practice off is if it followed the following 1-way conversation: Bill C - "Duce, you don't look motivated. In fact, you look like shit out there. You want to play Bettis, you have to act like Bettis. Take the afternoon off and decide if you really want to play football for me. I'll expect an answer tomorrow."
Running back Duce Staley did not practice in the two-hour afternoon session. His absence was not injury related. Cowher said he decided to give Staley a rest.
WHAT? The other night Duce couldn't even get out of his own way. He may be my least favorite player right now....and I WANT to like him. I WANT him to want to carry the load. What the hell kind of team leader can sit out practice when he's healthy? If they are trying to prevent injury by not playing him, good luck. Duce could get hurt sneezing too hard. The only way I would accept Cowher giving uce a practice off is if it followed the following 1-way conversation: Bill C - "Duce, you don't look motivated. In fact, you look like shit out there. You want to play Bettis, you have to act like Bettis. Take the afternoon off and decide if you really want to play football for me. I'll expect an answer tomorrow."
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Big Ben Parties With PNH
Ok, so I'm not a country music fan. I'm not a PNH fan either. That doesn't mean I dislike them, because I don't...I'm just not a fan of country music in general...nothing against them. However, I will plug their video here by linking to it since our boy Big Ben plays the lead role in it. See the video here. I'll tell you what though....I was at the Dawson grange fair last week and I didn't see any girls there that looked like any in this video!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Are You Close To My Age?
Then check this out.......... Did Potsie make a deal with the devil? He looks creepy young, no?
Cut It The #$%& Out!
Listen you stupid Muslim terrorists, and you ARE terrorists...not "freedom fighters". What is your obsession with jets and airliners? Why can't you quietly infiltrate America's borders and start blowing up Wal-Marts and country music radio stations? Then you might get some people on your side. I have to fly to Atlanta in a few weeks and now I have to check my damn luggage or buy my "personal items" while I'm there. Jesus, I can't take water on the plane or a Diet Coke, gel shoe inserts, shampoo, toothpaste and God knows what else. Pretty soon we're going to check everything and just ride the plane in the buff - which might be pretty cool except I always end up next to a Rosie O'Donnel type instead of a Jessica Alba type. This is a SNAFU anyway you look at it. They are saying vital medication and baby formulas are OK. Oh, OK, well - what's stopping Al-Assid-Fu-Q from mixing up a batch of Carnation's Big Gaping Hole in the seat right in front of me? Really?! I mean I just read this morning where our x-ray machines cannot detect shoe explsoives - yet I STILL have to take my shoes off as a precaution. Against what? To make sure I don't bring down the plane with my bunion? Stop, or I'll rub my athlete's foot all over the captain! Get serious. It said that an explosive the size of a shoe insert no thicker than 1/4 inch COULD NOT be detected and it's enough to bring down a plane. Why are we reporting this in the media? I did NOT need to know this. However, Affer-Um-Ug-Li was very happy to read that last night. The entire airline industry is totally F'd up right now. We're going to end up being like Israel and questioning each person for an hour after probing their ass to ask them why they want to go to Disney World. Listen, I have a serious 2 part solution to this problem. Dead serious - I'm not kidding. Why won't it be implemented? Because it makes too much sense, that's why.
Number 1: Raise the price of friggin tickets and HIRE and TRAIN competent people to do the searches and x-rays. I've flown 20+ times since 9/11 and only 1 guy impressed me as giving a shit. Really, most people checking IDs in the line are fine if you just wave it at them. Not one person ever looked at my ID and then really looked at me to make sure it was me. NOT ONE! Listen, if you want to fly to Las Vegas or Orlando or Italy...you are not going to care one bit if they raise the price $100 per ticket. If you are going, you are GOING. Nobody stopped driving when gas went from $1.50 to $3.25 - so why would people stop flying if Orlando cost $325 instead of $150? People fly for convenience (that's a joke in itsef), you have to pay for convenience. Nobody is going to take this seriously until it happens again. We still don't check every checked bag from what I understand. We need to pay these people like they are high profile professionals. We need to test them and if they fail - they are fired - easy as that. No union bullshit. You miss something on a realtime test, you are fired....you wanna see people take their job seriously? Do that. Raise prices and PAY THEM!
Number 2: We need to devise a system that will make 95% of Americans "Safe Flyers". What does that mean - only a small percentage of Safe Flyers would ever be searched at random. They can check stuff but they wouldn't get pulled out of line for extensive hand searches and stuff. How would we do this? I don't know...get a good economist like Steven Levitt, the author of "Freakonomics" to devise a system where if you are 3rd generation born here and have been steadily employed for 5 years and own property - or something else like you have flown 25 times in the past for the same business...you can file a form where you will be checked out ONCE by a committee of agencies....it might even take a year to clear...but once you clear...you're in the clear! Abu-Basi-Gote-Effer moves here after his student Visa expires...you check his ass out EVERY single time he flies..top to bottom...tear the bags apart...you have time since you saved time by not searching everyone who has the Safe Flyer card.
Is that profiling? You bet your sweet ass it is. If a lion rips somebody to shreds in a zoo, you don't start punishing the otters. I fear we won't take this problem seriously until something happens involving planes again. I hope I'm wrong.
Number 1: Raise the price of friggin tickets and HIRE and TRAIN competent people to do the searches and x-rays. I've flown 20+ times since 9/11 and only 1 guy impressed me as giving a shit. Really, most people checking IDs in the line are fine if you just wave it at them. Not one person ever looked at my ID and then really looked at me to make sure it was me. NOT ONE! Listen, if you want to fly to Las Vegas or Orlando or Italy...you are not going to care one bit if they raise the price $100 per ticket. If you are going, you are GOING. Nobody stopped driving when gas went from $1.50 to $3.25 - so why would people stop flying if Orlando cost $325 instead of $150? People fly for convenience (that's a joke in itsef), you have to pay for convenience. Nobody is going to take this seriously until it happens again. We still don't check every checked bag from what I understand. We need to pay these people like they are high profile professionals. We need to test them and if they fail - they are fired - easy as that. No union bullshit. You miss something on a realtime test, you are fired....you wanna see people take their job seriously? Do that. Raise prices and PAY THEM!
Number 2: We need to devise a system that will make 95% of Americans "Safe Flyers". What does that mean - only a small percentage of Safe Flyers would ever be searched at random. They can check stuff but they wouldn't get pulled out of line for extensive hand searches and stuff. How would we do this? I don't know...get a good economist like Steven Levitt, the author of "Freakonomics" to devise a system where if you are 3rd generation born here and have been steadily employed for 5 years and own property - or something else like you have flown 25 times in the past for the same business...you can file a form where you will be checked out ONCE by a committee of agencies....it might even take a year to clear...but once you clear...you're in the clear! Abu-Basi-Gote-Effer moves here after his student Visa expires...you check his ass out EVERY single time he flies..top to bottom...tear the bags apart...you have time since you saved time by not searching everyone who has the Safe Flyer card.
Is that profiling? You bet your sweet ass it is. If a lion rips somebody to shreds in a zoo, you don't start punishing the otters. I fear we won't take this problem seriously until something happens involving planes again. I hope I'm wrong.
Et Tu, Bettis?
Wow. This article contains something I didn't know before, contract negotiations to extend Bill Cowher's contract were put off by....Bill Cowher. Cowher is miffed that Bettis speculated about his future on national TV. Yikes. Does thou protest too much, Bill? I think we better get prepared to go into next season with a new head coach....Mr. Russ Grimm.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Even More Movie Title Steals - Jew Hating Cock Edition

Mad Cock
The Year Of Living Cock
Lethal Cock (or Cock Weapon)
Tequila Cock
Cock On A Wire
Forever Cock
The Chili Con Cock Club
The Man Without A Cock (Too Easy)
Cockheart or Bravecock
Conspiracy Cock
Cock Women Want (My Favorite!)
We Were Cocks (Close Second)
Chicken Cock
Stay Tuned...as I am planning a B&W list.
No Turning Back

Well, there is no turning back now from the half-marathon I am planning on running. I officially registered and paid the $55 via credit card. I could have registered closer to September 17th and paid a little extra - but paying now will give me even more incentive. I also booked a hotel room for the night before. Now I just have to convince Still A. Dad to register online and we'll be all set. Props to him also for winning his age group in the weekend race. We ran an 8 mile training run together Thursday morning in a light drizzle. It was a nice run and neither of us felt any ill effects after. The only ill effects I felt were after eating Still A. Maw's breakfast of dippy eggs, bacon, home fries and toast too soon after completing the run. If we can run 8 hilly miles in the mountains of western PA, we can certainly run 13.1 flat miles in Center City Philadelphia. Hoo-Rah!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Steelers Knocked Off Pedestal
Well, if the defending Super Bowl champs needed anything to get them going in camp, a good ass-kicking should do it. The Steelers got it handed to them by the Arizona Cardinals yesterday - even if the Cardinals kept their starters in longer than the Steelers. There weren't too many things that made me get excited. Big Ben did shake off a "would be" sacker and fired a bullet on the run for a completion. Brett Keisel made back-to-back plays that made me take notice and Santonio Holmes looked about where he should be for all the practice time he lost. What I didn't like far outweighed what I did like. Duce 'Sweatsuit' Staley continues to frustrate me. He looks tired, weak and slow to me when he runs. Where is the passion that he once had when it took 2-3 people to tackle him? I seriously think he needs to drop about 15 pounds. Duce needs to watch Rocky III and get "the eye of the tiger" back! Willie Reid did not impress me AT ALL as a punt returner. Let's hope last night was a lesson in catching the ball and they weren't really concerned with running it back. For all the hype I've heard about his return ability - I was disappointed. Also, the way Sean Morey plays special teams - Willie Reid better start to shine because being drafted by the Super Bowl champs in the 3rd round does not guarantee you a spot on the team. They will keep 6 receivers: Ward, Wilson, Holmes are locks. The other 3 are up for grabs. Nate Washington should make the team and I'd like to think Quincy Morgan will. That leaves one spot open with Lee Mays, Morey and Reid fighting for it. Number 28 is too small and doesn't like contact from what I saw. The drafted safety Smith sticks his head in and likes to pop people - he had a decent first game. There was a tight end who almost lost the ball after a catch and then dropped a perfect pass later in the game. He won't make the team. Boyd really really really needs to learn how to take something off the ball when he throws it or our receivers will have broken fingers! Willie Colon will make the team also. He's a bit of a project but he will turn out to be a player by year 3. I can't begin to say how disappointed I was in the pass defense. Kurt Warner made them look bad. He had plenty of time to throw also which is troubling. We'll shake the rust off - we did a lot of partying this off-season. I'm sure I'm forgetting other things I wanted to mention - but it is only the first preseason game. The point I want to stress is that it may better that they lost this game than to go out and win by 30. Time to get the heads out of the clouds and get back to basics.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I Finally Placed In A Race!
After running in local 5K races for about 4 years, I finally placed in one. I ran the Dawson Grange Country Run this morning. It's a killer 3.5 mile race that is littered with what were called "rolling" hills on the apllication. Yeah. Right. Rolling Hills my ass. This was a tough race. I finished 2nd for my age group 35-39. Don't get too excited, I also finished last in my age group! There were only two of us and it was a high school friend who is a demon runner who beat me. I was hoping he was already 40, but no such luck. He came in 2nd place OVERALL for the entire field. Oh well, I got a small trophy and my time wasn't horrible based on the hills involved.
Updated: ...and a shout out to Still A. Pita who hasn't done more than 3 miles since he killed me over Easter. He ran the race 2 minutes faster than I did.......but he's only 14!!! Still, with no training that's good.
Updated: ...and a shout out to Still A. Pita who hasn't done more than 3 miles since he killed me over Easter. He ran the race 2 minutes faster than I did.......but he's only 14!!! Still, with no training that's good.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Crazy Woman Finally Out Of Office
Now if Bill Maher will quit putting her on his show, I won't ever have to hear from her again. How on God's green earth did this woman ever get elected in the first place?
Comment Approval Is Close To Being Turned On
I'm getting spammed with almost every new post. It's the same stupid comment about "Here are links you may find interesting" obviously being put out by a bot. If I decide to turn on the approver - Dog, South, all - can still post, but it won't be visible until I approve it. Sorry, but it's getting on my nerves!
Maurice Maurice Maurice
This is almost funny. He was pulled over and 4 loaded weapons were found in his SUV. Not two. Not three. Four. Also, he was wearing a bullet proof vest at the time. One has to wonder just where he was going? Probably to a drug deal. Where else would you be going with 4 loaded weapons and a bullet-proof vest? Oh, that's right.......he had a tryout with the Bengals yesterday!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Why People Suck
So I'm out running this morning between 6:30 and 7:30 AM and I can't believe how obnoxious people are when they know they did something wrong and are called on it. I'm running through my own neighborhood, maybe 2 miles away from my house through another development and I'm hugging the left side of the road running against traffic. I'm not seeing many cars because I'm in a development but a lot of people are starting to leave their driveways on their way to work. I'm coming up on a stop sign and I'm going to make a left. I hear an engine coming behind me and before I know it, the driver rolls right smack through the stop sign and makes a left also. I'm not even sure there was an attempt to slow down. Now don't get me wrong, I do the "rolling stop sign" every once in a while, but I slow way down and make damn sure there isn't a car, bike or human anywhere NEAR the intersection before I pull that. I know that doesn't make it right, but if I got a ticket doing it, I couldn't complain. Well, this person's window happened to be down and it pissed me off that with me right there making the same left - she decided to go through it. What if I had went straight? I'm not even sure she saw me. Anyway - I point and say simply "Stop Sign" as our heads can't be more then 7-8 feet apart. I can see at this point that she is also the same size as her car, a small Suzuki jeep. In fact, she may have weighed more than the jeep - but oh, well. She proceeds to smile, wave at me and very mockingly tells me to have a nice day. Have a nice day? It wouldn't be so nice if the bitch would have hit me! In that one split second I targeted her as the fat chick who has always been fat and hates people that have the will to exercise. There were a million things I could have said back. Heck, supposedly I'm the witty one in the office that makes everyone laugh. It would have been hilarious to point again and say "Salad Bar". It would have been hilarious to say "Run much?". It would have been really funny to say something like "I guess I'm too thin and you couldn't see me". Nope. At moments like these I have what my mother used to use as an excuse "that German blood in me" whatever that means. My sister and dad can both hear her saying it right now as they're reading this. Nope, I chose to not be witty. I chose to not make fun of her weight. Maybe she has a glaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand problem. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, I dug deep into my insult bag of tricks and flicked her off while disgustedly screaming "Yuck Fou". I run the same routes on most days. I know the car. I know the driver. I know I'll see her again. Next time, I'm gonna go 3rd grade on her and just fill my cheeks up with air when she looks over. Damn Fatty McButterpants. Hrumph. A wave and a "Sorry" would have sufficed. Some day she'll have kids (well.....) and won't want people running stop signs in our hood.
Brooks Hurts Chances Of Returning
Barret Brooks really hurt his chances of making the roster this weekend. The crime? Read it here. Guys like Brooks are on the bubble anyway. He's been in the league something like 12 years so his contract can't be small. For a backup lineman, since we have no pressing needs, a player with less experience is much cheaper. We have enough veteran experience to not miss the likes of a Barret Brooks. 'Nuff said.
Patriots Really Are A Bunch Of Weiners
Read it here. <---Click It.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Media Whore At It Again
I get so frustrated when I read about things like this. I've ranted and raved about this woman and what she symbolizes. I don't even have the energy to go back and add everything again that irks me about her. Three points need to be made about Cindy Sheehan that cannpt be disputed. Yes, she has excuses for everything - but they can't be disputed. Number 1: Her son enlisted in the service and then RE-enlisted after we had already invaded Iraq. Case closed. Number 2: Two Memorial Days passed after Casey Sheehan's death before a tombstone was placed on his grave. Number 3: Mom purchased a new car before she gave her own son a proper cemetary memorial - from the life insurance money provider to her on his death by the US government. I just read another article (that I won't even link because I don't want to give the website business) where she is claiming soldiers are being forced to re-enlist. I can believe they are being pressured, but forced? Isn't it amazing with as liberal as the US media is that this isn't a national story? How many troops are in Iraq? And nobody has shown up on Nightline or 20/20 to say they are being forced to re-enlist? Your son died. We get it. You're upset. You're mad. It was his choice though, not yours. You are quoted as saying "Bush killed my son." You may as well be a muppet because you are obviously under the control of the liberal spin doctors. You are their face and they are using you like a $50 hooker. I would rather die a hero on the battlefield than have my soul slowly killed and sucked dry by political leeches - but that's YOUR choice.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Recipe For A Perfect Sunday
Woke up without an alarm clock a little before 6:00 am. Had my power bar and iced tea and drove to Lake Galena. Started running the 10k loop at 6:30 and saw a huge buck (7 point) and a hot air balloon close enough to almost high-five the pilot before I was done. Drove home listening to the blues with all 4 windows down. Had a huge glass of chocolate milk, took a cold shower and went to church with the family. Went to brunch at Valentino's and had blueberry pancakes. Got home, slathered on some sunscreen and headed to the pool. Hung out with some friends and enjoyed the water, snacked and took a 75 minute nap in the late afternoon sun. Left the pool around 5:30, picked up some food on the way home...filled my belly AGAIN...another cold shower....time to relax. Now I'll watch Entourage at 10:00 and melt into bed. I'm dog tired. I'm training for a half marathon that's in mid September. The plan is for me and the old man to run it together. It's a good goal to set, not sure if my legs would agree!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Two More Signings
Clint Kriewaldt and DeShea Townsend returned my cards this weekend. Pretty cool. Funny though how the first two in are from people fighting to make the team. Either they get WAY less mail or they are truly the most friendly of the group. I'd like to believe the latter but I bet it's point #1.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Lurie: "Signing TO Was A Mistake"
Today's headline in Philadelphia sports comes from Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurid...I mean Lurie. "Signing TO was a mistake." is the main sound bite. The rest is just "blah blah blah team chemistry...blah blah blah character is important...blah blah" kind of stuff. Hmmm, signing TO was a mistake. Wow. That might be the NFL's understatement of the year. In other obvious news this week: Mel Gibson is trying to figure out how he can fire rockets into Israel. After realizing he does not have the capacity to carry out said mission, he instead made prank calls to a local Jewish deli. The newly crowned Miss Universe passed out shortly after receiving the crown. Doctors present at the scene attributed the fainting to the nutritional content of her 3 meals that day which consisted of swallowing air for breakfast, half of a celery stalk for lunch and 2 lines of coke for dinner chased with a Diet Coke. The new Miss U angrily disputed that report saying she ate 3 peeled white grapes around 6:00 pm. Madonna is desperate for attention again as celebrity news has turned to the likes of Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears and J. Lo. Madge has Italy's panties in a bunch because she enters her new concert on a cross wearing a crown of thorns. Yawn. You're like, 47.....can you PLEASE act your age....I implore you. If this stunt fails to bring as much attention as the aging diva desires, her next stunt waiting in the wings will shock you. Obsessed with mixing sex and religious symbolism, she plans to kidnap Suri Cruise, place her in a woven basket, float her down the Mississippi river and bang the hell out of the person lucky enough to find her. Woody Allen is trying to pinpoint the exact drop-off spot so he can set up a camp downriver with infrared lights and motion equipment. When asked if he's that desperate to sleep with Madonna he responded that he thought the finder got to keep and raise Suri until she was old enough to sleep with. When informed this wasn't the case he packed up and went home....after buying some young Asian porn. Seems he didn't even realize Suri was American...or is she? Nobody really knows I guess since she's been locked up in a room and will be until she's 16 by the laws of scientology. Tom Cruise had the world by the nuts 5 years ago and now everyone just thinks he's completely nuts. Full Circle. Funny, isn't it?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Chidi, Iwanna Thank You

If you know me, then you know I collect Steeler autographs. Around this time of year I send a batch of letters out requesting cards that I make up be signed and returned to me in a self-addressed stamped envelope. I write a nice letter and mention something about each player so it's not...."Hey, SIGN HERE....NOW!". You'd be surprised how many come back. I already have most of the major players but I need to send letters to get some players that there isn't a market for financially. I don't do this for monetary gain - It's my hobby. Well, James Farrior was the first to send back last year and this year the honor goes to none other than Chidi Iwuoma. Chidi is part of what makes the Steelers special in my opinion. He is an unselfish player who gives 110% on special teams. It's players like him that allow injuries to occur by providing depth at a high level of talent. Here's to you Chidi, for growing my collection and always being one of the first men down the field!
Contract Lunacy
Year Games Starts Catches Yards
2002 13 7 43 489
2003 15 11 57 803
2004 9 9 35 454
2005 16 15 78 998
How do those numbers look to you for a receiver? Not bad. Superb year in 2005. Shows promise. On the verge for sure. These numbers belong to Deion Branch who is holding out of Patriot's camp. Why? He is in the last year of his rookie contract and is due to be paid $1.3 million. He wants in the neighborhood of $40 for 6 years with $13 being guaranteed. WHAT?! He turned down 3 years for $19 million. Hines Ward is going to end up being a bargain at those numbers.
2002 13 7 43 489
2003 15 11 57 803
2004 9 9 35 454
2005 16 15 78 998
How do those numbers look to you for a receiver? Not bad. Superb year in 2005. Shows promise. On the verge for sure. These numbers belong to Deion Branch who is holding out of Patriot's camp. Why? He is in the last year of his rookie contract and is due to be paid $1.3 million. He wants in the neighborhood of $40 for 6 years with $13 being guaranteed. WHAT?! He turned down 3 years for $19 million. Hines Ward is going to end up being a bargain at those numbers.
I Learn Something New Every Day
After believing the rumors that I constantly read about Troy Polamalu craving the west coast and a return to California, I read something that raised my spirits this morning. Troy and his wife stayed in Pittsburgh for all but 3 days during the off-season. The free spirit who was raised in Oregon and attended college at USC loves the mountains, rivers and valleys of western PA. That's good news for Steeler fans as I thought as his contract came to an end he would look to return "home". One thing that is a little scary in the same article has Troy pointing out that Coach Cowher treats his players well and that's another reason why he would like to remain here. Well, hopefully this won't turn into a situation where Cowher leaves and then the players scatter! If Bill Cowher decides to retire after this season or next, I can only hope and pray that they already have an agreement in place with Russ Grimm to take over. There aren't too many people that I would be happy with, but having a guy coach the team that grew up playing highschool ball less than 10 miles from where I grew up would be fantastic. The Rooneys believe in building from the center out, starting with the offensive line.....who better to take over?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)