Slanted Simon Says: "Ew"

Wow. When I was younger, I remember Mariah Carey being such a hottie. Not anymore. The years haven't been too kind to her and she's still young. Ish. Can you imagine what an intolerable person she must be in private? She seems like such a diva. More #1's than Elvis as a solo artist? Quick..name five of them! See, can't do it can you? However, you can roll out Elvis songs all day long. 19 #1's and if pressed, maybe I could name 1 or 2 by their correct titles. Anyway - here is this week's list, just based on this week:

1. David Cook. Lock. Stock. Barrel.
2. Brook White. Dug. It's the voice and the character in the voice.
3. David Archuleta. Not sure he can win against Cook, but may have more teeny boppers vote for him.
4. Kristi Lee Cook. Rarely hits a bad note. Lacks stage presence and star power.
5. Carly Smithson. Once a force now running on empty.
6. Jason Dreads. Just don't get it. Not at all. I think the only reason the judges say they like him is because we haven't seen a winner in his genre yet. I'm telling you....it's the ONLY reason.
7. Syesha. I once thought she could maybe win......no way, not now, not ever.

The Sky Is Falling

This is weird. I read this article and instead of being alarmed at the thought of the destruction of both coasts and a never ending cloud of dust......I focus instead on the math. The article claims there are over 40,000 satellites in orbit. Really? No, really? A quick search of Sputnik, the first satellite, shows that it went up in 1957. It's 2008. That's 51 years (says Captain Obvious). That's 18,615 days give or take. That's 2.15 satellites per day being launched into space since the first one. So, I'm also guessing that 2 per day didn't start flying the day after Sputnik went? Right? If only one per month went up for the first decade....how many does that leave for the last 10 years? I find that number hard to believe - very hard to believe. Could it be a typo? I'm too tired to research it. Why do I care? 40,000? Give me some quarters.

Timisuckia

So I'm watching John Adams on HBO and I'm enjoying the crap out of it. I have to admit, it's the first time in my 39 years that I've seen these historical figures as real people and not just a painting or a cartoon. To see the brash Adams have a debate with the much more sophisticated Thomas Jefferson is television gold. I'm enjoying it so much that after last night's episode, I hopped on Wikipedia for what turned into a huge time suck. I started off by reading Adams' entire entry. I branched off to read things he authored and to read about treaties and loans he brokered. George Washington is also involved in most of the episodes so I read more about the French and Indian war which had a famous battle really close to where I grew up. I never really knew the history of the fort or the battle until last night. I know I've toured the place and heard the canned speech - but I was probably 8 and pulling some girl's hair while the speaker was going on and on. I then trailed over to read about General Braddock, a British general who served near my hometown as well . Not much on him on Wikipedia, but still enlightening. Finally, although I've sat through the retelling of his story more than a few times - I went out looking for information on Zachariah Connell. I used to go fishing right where his reconstructed cabin is located. Washington crossed the Yough right around that area as well. Did he sleep there one night on his way west? I can't remember completely, but I think so. From what I remember, a lot of famous folks stopped in there to stay over on their way west. Anyway - it;s a wonder I didn't dream about colonial times last night after watching 90 minutes on TV and then reading until midnight. But no, my dreams were the same......getting kidnapped by Desperate Housewives and SI cover girls.

Boycott, Scmoycott

Great. Now Dr. Z on SI.com is suggesting countries boycott the Olympics because of China and Tibet...blah blah blah. Again, how about we blame the folks who picked China? If I was an Olympic athlete (and I could have been....is toenail clipping a sport?) and my country canceled because of the host county's human rights record, I would go ballistic. All the hours of training? All the dedication? I'm not saying it's not a good cause and I'm not condoning anything. I'm saying there are other ways to get them to stop abusing peeps. Don't take it out on the athletes. They are going to end up getting the short end of the pole vault stick. Can't we just intercept their satellite TV signals after the Olympics and make them watch nothing but Rosie O'Donnel reruns? Can't we block their radio transmitters and jam them with nothing but Creed? Did the last boycott work? I think not. Stop making the Olympics political.

Simple Solution To Olympic Torch

You know what? This isn't going to be popular, but I have a way to solve the Olympic Torch problem of all these protesters running around trying to put it out......shoot them. Shoot them in their stupid heads. Yeah, I guess that's a little extreme, so let's shoot them, shoot them in their stupid legs? Ok, China government needs a little help with human rights, but you know what, the men and women selected to run with the torch didn't freaking pick Beijing to host the Olympics. Blame the stupid bribed committee that did. Typically it's a big deal to carry the torch and you have to apply and/or be nominated and stuff like that. For these idiots to be out there messing around with these people is ludicrous. If you meet and protest in peace somewhere like the lawn of the White House, fine. Add the hunting aspect of trying to put the torch out and now you get bored college kids and seekers of fame involved. In my mind, you can't even blame China. They had to win the bid. Somebody had to pick them. The pampered folks that made that call are sleeping soundly while innocent people trying to carry on a tradition are dealing with a huge pile of bullshit. Trot the secret service out there to run with the torch. Anyone but the runner gets within 5 yards of the torch.....pop them. Taser the living daylights out of them. Squirt them with high pressure water. Make them listen to Abba. I don't care what method they use, just don't let them become part of the show.

Slanted Simon Says - Give Back

Geez, I didn't post anything last night on the show because I fell asleep on the floor. Nothing like waking up with carpet burn on your face....but I did see the show before zonking out. Based only on last night:

1. Brooke White - Not that she was superb, but everyone else was a shade off.
2. David Cook - Weird song. Who?
3. Kristi Lee Cook - Nice job!
4. David Archuleta - Meh.
5. Carly Smithson - Good, not great.
6. Micahel Johns - Not consistent at all.
7. Jason Dreads - Why do they like him so much? Stinkin' weirdo sissy pants.
8. Syesha Mercado - Liked her in the beginning and thought she was a threat. No more.

Did anyone notice when they pointed out that William Ford dude in the crowd? Have you ever seen anyone so uncomfortable in their own skin? Ick. He reminded me of Al Gore when his advisers told him to loosen up so he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. Al cannot be casual with that giant stick up his ass. Ford looked like he had a meeting with 4 advisors who told him what to wear and he changed clothes 3 times before coming out. What an idiot. Be yourself, you jackass. Kids of today see right through fake.....and dude, you looked like a $3 bill.

Hogs, Lots of Hogs

A quick look around some mock drafts have our beloved Steelers taking another DE/OLB type or a CB return-man demon (Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie) in the first round. A few have us taking the Virgina guard - but I want to know why ALL of them don't have us taking a HOG? I don't care if it's a guard, center, tackle....I want me a HOG. A big mean one! One we can have for 6-8 years minimum. I read the draft book on the Virgina kid ( Branden Albert) and one of his weaknesses is lack of football knowledge as he didn't start playing until late in his school days. He was a standout hoops guy before his football career took off. It also says he's a better pass blocker than a run blocker and that his motor runs hot and cold. Damn. I was starting to get depressed until I saw that Chris Long also has some "weaknesses" listed as well. I wouldn't care if we piled up the HOGS and had bacon for the first two or three courses! I could live with a supreme corner, but if they take another LB, I won't be happy. They could go DL as well, but if you ask any fan, even a casual fan, what our biggest hole was last year, they'll say OL without a doubt.

You Decide The Title

What's a better title for this story:

A. Once Upon A Time......

B. Bush Kills Baby, Then Mother.....

C. Her second cousin's wife's plumber's helper said.....

It kills me that this keeps happening. We'll need another verse or two in Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" if she gets elected....

"Bullets whizzing past her head,
no insurance - now you're dead,
I did not kill not one Vince Foster,
Sharks can't breath right in White Water......

I'm too tired Bill, My head hurts,
Go ahead and chase that skirt.
Just be careful don't get caught,
But if you do I'll leave you not.

Bang that big fat Jewish girl,
Make it like the Tilt-A-Whirl,
Just don't leave no DNA,
and everything will be OK......Ooooops.

Free Craigslist Items

Slow weekend for free stuff in my area. All I could find was this poor deer and this weird ad. It almost makes me think the Cheerios ad is a signal to someone. "hey jimmy, he posted the cheerios, we can go get the body now........".

Damn Dirty Apes

Weird. Totally weird. Last night the family was tired. Everyone went to bed early and I was wide awake. I flipped through the pay channels and saw that Reality Bites was on and about to start. It's a Gen X movie starring Winona Ryder back when she was a starlet with a future. A young Ben Stiller is also involved as is Jeanine Garafolo and Ethan "I have....a little....GIRL" Hawke. I decided to watch it even though I have "The Good Shepherd" DVR'd and ready to watch. I've seen it before, maybe even twice, but not in a long time and I remember really liking it, with the exception of Hawke singing the Violent Femmes near the end. In the movie, if you know it, Ryder goes to Stiller's office and breaks his collectible statue of Dr. Zaius - the orange ape with the high IQ from Planet of the Apes. When Tim Burton remade the movie (which was terrible) the only bright spot was Paul Giamatti playing Zaius....which reminds me, if you aren't watching John Adams starring Giamatti on HBO - you are missing out....bigtime. So, I saw Zaius last night. I wake up today, come downstairs, and the news is running the Charlton "...from my cold dead fingers" Heston obituary piece over and over..... Every time they show a clip from Planet of the Apes, you guessed it, Dr. Zaius is front and center. Weird. I go years without ever thinking about a movie character and then BAM! I get a double dose in the span of 7 hours.

Frustrated In Dayton

Ok. Well, I like to see where my traffic is coming from every few days. I find it interesting to see how people landing on my page. Check this one out! First, look at the location: Dayton, Ohio. Next, look at the search words: "Ben Roethlisberger Clubs Baby Seals". Nice. We're in their heads already and it's not even draft day. Ohio. This person is probably jealous that Benny left his home state and found true glory. Freaks. I tried to post the page from my report but it translated poorly from a cut/paste. You'll just have to take my word for it.

Waddler Plot Broken Up

So, by this time everyone has heard about the group of third graders in Georgia that planned on assaulting their teacher. However, with all the other controversies going on in the world, this one was missed. It seems that a gang of waddling toddlers in a Detroit suburb also hatched a plot last week against their daycare "teacher" Miss Muffy. The weapons they were able to cache were astounding. Found in the leader's (Ry-Ry) cubby were : a small mallet not unlike the ones used to bash wooden pegs through a board, several baby aspirin, teeny tiny nail clippers, an olive sword (Miss Muffy drinks her "lunches") and one-third of a ball of yarn.....pink. Most of the group of five cannot yet speak well enough to defend their suspicious actions, but they have left as evidence a series of drawings that can only be described as "sheer terror". One depicts the muscle of the group, Jimmy Poo Poo, smearing what appears to be, well....Poo, into the face of the teacher who is being held down by Sally "Pancakes" Jenkins. One of the little girls, Lysol, is able to form simple sentences and gave the following statement before going into the preliminary hearing: "Gooble babba gibble NO. Gooble babba gibble NO. dabba....MINE! faffa badda NO! .......i need go potty".

Silverback Red-Assed

Hmmm. Hey Denmark, do you smell something rotting? I have mixed feelings about this. I want to attack it from many angles. First and foremost, Peter (Steelers Hater) King posted an article the other day calling the Steelers hypocritical for cutting Cedric Wilson and keeping James Harrison. Let me address that first. If he or anyone else is suggesting the Steelers cut Harrison for his alleged offense - they should have their heads examined. Pacman Jones got someone shot and the Titans didn't cut him. He was suspended for a year and the Titans didn't cut him. Ray Lewis was up for murder charges and the Ravens didn't cut him! You almost have to go to jail before a team will cut you. Look at Chris Henry. Yes, he finally got cut, but after 37 offenses. Here's the straight poop - Cedric Wilson is a marginal player. He didn't get cut just because he popped his girlfriend....terrible as that may be. He was on the chopping block already and then screwed up and they just dropped the guillotine sooner. He was on his way out, peeps - true that. Plus - this wasn't his first offense! The police recently had a standoff at his house over a domestic dispute. For King not to mention that is huge. Also, King is suggesting that the Cowboys trading for Pacman is a good idea, so is he condoning Pacman's behavior? I am not condoning ANYTHING and neither did Dan Rooney, but Jesus people, wake up. You cannot compare walking into a bar, walking straight up to a girl and punching her in the face - to busting down a door, breaking a cell phone and (insert choice of story here - One account was a slap - One account was putting a hand on the face and pushing). He should have never laid a finger on her, but just from reading the reports, it's not like walking into a bar and punching a woman in front of witnesses. All that being said, I'm betting the chick is driving around in a Hummer this time next week - because if Harrison didn't make promises and pay her off to drop the charges, maybe somebody else......did? No matter how this story ends, James Harrison - the mighty Silverback - should be red-assed embarrassed. He should also watch his step. The Steelers may believe in second chances, they won't believe in thirds though. If someone gets into an argument with somebody and it turns to blows and one person dies, I do not equate that with someone who hides in the bushes and stalks a stranger, killing them and hacking them up into little pieces. Wow, ok, that's not fair either, but there are different levels of assault.

Gas Prices

I stopped to fill up with gas on my way home from work the other night. I went to a place I've never stopped at before - new job - new route - new area. The freaking gas pumps had televisions on them...playing TMZ type clips, ESPN clips and local weather. Can't we even pump gas in peace? Wouldn't no frills pumps save us money? Not including football related programming or movies, I don't watch a ton of TV. I watch a ton of net surfing, but that's a different story. Maybe if I could use Google for 8 minutes while I spend $60 I would feel better about my lost 8 minutes. I've pumped gas Lord knows how many times in my life, not once have I wondered what was on TV while doing it. I'm usually in a trance, staring at traffic, taking a life break, thinking about the smell of the gas, thinking about a stale donut from inside the station.....never about an E! snippet. I think just like I can choose to not get a receipt - I should be able to choose to turn off the TV while pumping.....unless of course, American Idol clips are on.....oh I just threw that in to see if Still A Pavlov would salivate.

Guess The Article Topic

It's short (the article), but contains things like "discharge, wood, aims, naked, baton, rock". The funniest line is "investigators have yet to determine at what point the three officers shot the man". Well I'm stumped. I'd say immediately after "Williams then assaulted and injured an officer before gaining control of the officer’s impact weapon" which was presented two sentences earlier. Case closed. Who (in the F) is the moron investigating this case?

Ramiele Noodled Out

My thoughts for a picture tonight were for either a package of Ramen Noodles or the crazy old lady puppet "Madame". Why Madame? Are you serious? It's like Dolly Parton whistled "9 to 5" while cutting Madame's picture out of Puppet's Illustrated magazine to take to her plastic surgeon...."Here...I want to look like this". It worked you scary-ass, big titty, skeleton lookin' thing. I hate making fun of her because my grandfather liked her, but then I think, well, my grandfather and I shared some genes....so he probably just liked her big 'ole hooters (when they were young and taut). You go Grandpap. Glad Ramiele is gone. Jason Dreads has been locked on target for next week, unless of course it's Reggae week and he's allowed to bring a big mad bag of weed on stage with him while he's jammon'.

Slanted Simon Says Sleep

Wow. This was the most boring week I can remember for American Idol season seven. A real snoozer. I watched my laptop more than the show. I'm not even sure it's worth listing the singers out, but here goes.....with few comments.
1. Carly, I dug it
2. Michael Johns, dug
3. Brook White, I honestly like her voice, very much!
4. David Cook, my least favorite DC performance ever
5. David Archuleta, meh
6. Kristi Lee Cook, yawn
7. Jason Dreads, eh
8. Syesha Marcado, wow. pitchy. really pitchy.
9. Ramiele, really ready for her to go

I'm Better Than Your Dad

You know, you try to teach your kids that bragging and taunting are not very likable traits, especially in kids 7-12 who you are trying to teach good manners and sportsmanship to. Have you watched this show yet - My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad? My daughter likes it and wanted me to send in a submission to try and get on, but in reality, the show sucks big donkey..er, tail. The producers are egging the kids on to taunt each other. There's no debating it. It's so obvious. The dad's are even in on it. When is the last time you saw a fat, out-of-shape, computer guy wave a pasty finger in someone's face and tell them "I didn't come here to lose - I'll track you down wherever you go to beat you!" (Moe The Dog, please don't include Pimp W in that question, it was rhetorical.) Tonight I was trying to read while it was on and a little girl....a little girl...was annoying the shit out of me. Near the end I was rooting for them to lose and they did, they only won $10k out of $50k possible because the dorkus dad couldn't answer questions about his own daughter like "Who is her favorite this.... or What school award did she recently win......". To get to the final round they have to answer really really hard questions like "If you have 50 quarters, how much money do you have?". Mind you - the questions are for the dads! Yes they are! No, I'm not kidding! What? They also made it multiple choice? Really? And he acted like he wasn't even sure of his answer? If my daughter continues to want to watch this show - it will be another hour that I spend in my office instead of with her, unless maybe I can sneak headphones on. The name of this show should be changed to "This little brat and her puffy pasty know nothing daddy are marginally better than this here little shit with his boring 50 year old dad who is acting cool even though he wasn't cool when he was 22". Would that fit in the little box that I can pull up from my remote to tell me what's on?

Semper Fi, Bitch

Nice. If he would have gone after Jack, he would've ended up with a 3-Iron up his ass. Stupid.

Religious Experience

Friday night, March 28th 2008, 10:30 PM, I had a religious experience. I went on a blues ride with a master. The master. From the day I started to really appreciate The Blues - one name has summed everything up for me for what style I like to listen to - Buddy Guy. From all the clips I've watched on YouTube to the over 100 songs of his I have on my iPod - it is nothing compared to seeing the man live. He literally had the crowd in the palm of his hands for 70 minutes straight. When he was in his falsetto, you could hear a pin drop in a place that had 750 crazy blues fans in it. When he growled and played a lick to the crowd's appreciation the yells and positive feedback were deafening. The man was born to entertain. I could watch him for 7 hours let alone 70 minutes. He had so much material that he wanted to play that he literally would stop songs in the middle only to call up another classic to start. He started to play "Fever" and I don't think he got the response he wanted from the opening chords so he stopped the band and asked the crowd if they wanted to hear it or not. I guess he didn't like that response either because he said "then I bet you'll like this...." and he went into a superb rendition of "Hootchie Cootchie Man". He also paid tribute to some of his favorites by naming them and playing snippets of their material - most notably "Voodoo Chile" by Hendrix along with some Clapton and John Lee Hooker. I can't say enough good things about the concert - especially when he took his signature stroll through the crowd as he played and flirted with the audience. While on his walk he even left the room only to reappear through another door - taking his walking solo to the hallways. Insane. Also making the trip notable for me was hooking up with my childhood, high school, college, post college...friend of a lifetime whom I hadn't seen in over two years. We got all caught up over Grey Goose and Patron....and Hooters, which we could walk to from our hotel. I also got to meet two of the stars from the Berks County Jazz Festival - first, when we came back from our nightcap - Buddy Guy's guitarist Ric Hall was standing outside of a bass workshop talking to a hotel employee. Side note: How weird is it to have a workshop thats going on at 12:30 AM? Anyway - I walked right up to Ric who was super friendly and shook his hand and told him how good I thought he played for the show. He was so nice and very appreciative. I would pay to just watch Ric and Buddy's Damn Right Blues Band as they are super tight. I found this clip of Ric and Buddy online. It's funny as the person who's filming can't find Ric during his solo as he can't believe it's not Buddy playing. Then as we were paying for breakfast this morning, Brian Bromberg was standing in the entrance gettnig ready to go in. We caught the beginning of his set before we went to the Buddy Guy show and he was literally playing 10 feet from where we were sitting. He was up for a Grammy this year against Herbie Hancock who eventually won. He is an outstanding bass player. Very rhythmic. Incredible fingers. Anyway - I also shook his hand and told him I enjoyed his show. Again, he was very friendly and appreciative. As I got my things to go to my car and walked back past the restaurant - he (Bromberg) was at a table eating and unless the rest of his people were at the buffet, he was by himself. How cool would it have been to go back in and chat him up? He was telling a story during his set of a party last week where he was with Hancock. I bet he has some great stories. It's weird to hear him jam like he does because he looks like a 50 year old college physics professor. Anyway - I had a superb time and I'm going to start watching for more blues shows by the legends and take them in while I can.

The PacMaker

Wow. Now here is a match made in heaven. Pacman Jones and Michael Irvin together on Irvin's radio show. Nice. Did you hear they went out after the show? TMZ.com had them followed and this is a snippet of the article that will appear tomorrow.....

"...they left the studio in Pacman's Hummer with 29" wheels and rolling rims. Through the tinted glass we saw Irvin do a line off the dashboard while Pacman guzzled from an open bottle of Chrystal. We followed them to Dina's Den of Debauchery where they got out and stumbled to an ATM machine. Pacman filled up a paper sack with what appeared to be about $11,000 while Irvin stuffed his pockets with roughly $8,000. Michael's cellphone rang out with NWA's Fug The Police as his ringtone. He had a short conversation where we overheard him repeatedly demand a delivery of some sort to the club and also bring his favorite pipe. When questioned, Irvin said it was Domino's and they were bringing pizza and some cheese BITES. We followed them in the club where Pacman already had 13 nude girls grinding up on him in a corner. Irvin took off his shirt and joined in as Kid Rock's Cowboy blasted from the speakers. Another gentlemen seemed to be with them but we couldn't make him out through all the marijuana smoke. He appeared to be older and very ugly with tight skin....almost Montgomery Burns-like in stature wearing a blue suit. As he began to stand up, their personal security guard who looked amazingly like Nate Newton started to growl and mope in our direction so we bolted......"

Gone and Forgotten

Well, he had two good performances and a lot of mediocre onces - and now he's history. I had two of the bottom three and had the third one 6th. I just had a thought - maybe our Stillers should give Chikezie a call to see if he can play offensive line?

Slanted Simon Says - The Full Nine

There were some really good performances tonight. This is when the show starts to get really good in my opinion as the people left can almost smell victory and they start to go for it a little more. These rankings are based solely on tonight's show:

1. David Cook - Continues to tear it up. He truly has a good rock voice and the necessary scream to go with it.
2. Michael Johns - I liked him early on and this is the first time he's shown promise since doing Bohemian Rhapsody and The Doors back in the earlier shows. Queen suits him.
3. Brook - I don't care that she started over, her voice is very distinct and I like it. She feels what she is singing.
4. Syesha - Didn't like the song and I want to like Carly so much more than her but she nailed that song tonight.
5. Carly Smithson - I did hear a few clunker notes mixed in tonight. Still should be in the final mix, maybe winning it all.
6. Kristi Lee Cook - No matter what she does, short of stripping on stage, she can't win - so I'm not sure it even matters what she does week to week. She is likable though.
7. David Archuleta - Wow. He may have peaked too early. That SUCKED. It really goes to show you how much things can change week to week.
8. Parchisi - Like Kristi, his days are numbered.
9. Jason Dreads - Dude, don't bogart that joint.

And that leaves cute little Ramiele on the outside looking in this week. She smacks of one of those marketing girls that a gum company hires to give away their product in a busy urban setting during lunch hours.

Whose Poison Apple, Steve Jobs?

I took my daughter to see Enchanted when it first came out. Yes, I love "kid" movies and I'm a connoisseur. Ok, it's cute, nothing more, nothing less. Disney got good press for some of the original songs which isn't anything new. The Easter Bunny brought the DVD to my house last Sunday and now my daughter likes the music even more, especially the Carrie Underwood song "Ever Ever After". She asked me if we could download the songs tonight on iTunes. Sure. She only wanted four of them. What's $4 to make princess happy? We went downstairs and something I'm starting to see more and more made me mad as Hell....the song she really wanted more than the others was marked "Album Only" meaning you have to buy the entire album to get that particular song......or Do I? You know, I try to do things right. I use iTunes because I don't mind paying $1 a song, I really don't. It's the best engine and best software and I own an iPod so why not use it? I hear the freebies are frequently of poor quality and that some labels even distribute bad files to stop playing halfway into the song and whatnot to discourage freebie sites. I tried to use Kazaa once a long time ago and I had to also run other applications just to get it so I stopped right there. I'm not 20. I have a job. I can pay the buck. Did I buy the entire CD to get the song precious wanted? Nope. Do I currently own the song? Not telling, but I will say that some interesting offshore music blogs exist. For people who are willing to play it straight, the labels and companies that support the labels need to STOP DICKING AROUND with trying to force people to buy the entire CD. Doesn't that go against your very own business model? Sure, the CD is one-third shit songs that were playing in the background and you wouldn't even notice them - that's what makes buying singles key. Dorks. Is it more the label or more Steve Jobs? From the article I just read tonight in Wired magazine, I'm going with Jobs.

Battle At Kruger

I heard people talking about the Battle of Kruger today at work. I'm such a YouTube hound that I was surprised I'd never heard of it. You'd think with all the tails I follow that I'd come across it at some point. Well, here's a link to it. It's a little long at over eight minutes, but I think you have to watch the entire thing to fully appreciate it. Talk about tails to follows, follow some of the links from this and you'll end up seeing some pretty cool attacks. I love big cats and I was rooting for them in this clip. If I had time, I would take the final 2-3 minutes and mix in Michael Jackson's Beat It as that's what I was expecting to come blasting out of my speakers as the mob approached. Cool stuff, check it out.

Easter Egg Pickup

So on my day off last week, Good Friday, we decided to go to the local Egg "Hunt". Well, as you can see, there is no hunting about it. The local business that sponsors it used to have it at their place on their beautiful grounds where you can also tour their work. I think one look at either of these pictures gives you some indication as to why they chose a different location this year - the local community college. At the old place, they did a new "hunt" every 30 minutes and had a lot of different age classes. Not so this year. One "hunt", two "pens". Zero thru six had a pen and seven thru ten had a pen. I don't even want to guess at the number of participants as the pictures don't do that justice at all. After the first photo was taken, so many more people came that they made a human wall between the pens, that's why in the second picture you can only see one half of the melee. The second half is behind that mess. Also, my lens could only get about half the area. The pens were twice as wide as what I'm showing and by the time they were ready to roll, parents had the entire place surrounded 2 rows deep in some places. All the eggs had something in them, but most were Hershey Kisses. So, to summarize, we drove 15 minutes to get there. We got there 30 minutes before it started and it was very cold and windy, we stood in line to "sign in" which equated to them getting our email address (which they can't verify).....all for 75 seconds of utter confusion where I couldn't even find my own daughter to take her picture because she went into the heart of the battlefield. Egg Hunt? This was easier than shooting fish in a barrel.

...And, Uh, The Iraq

Cedric Wilson is such an idiot. I went back and read his apology last night and something jumped out at me like a sore thumb. Check this quote out:

"I just want to apologize to Lindsey, her family, the NFL family and the Pittsburgh Steeler nation. I let them down."

The Pittsburgh Steeler Nation? Wtf? Cedric, it's Steeler Nation. That's it. No "the". No "Picksberg". Steeler Nation. Got it? Good. Now let's use it in a sentence. 'Mmm K? Steeler Nation was out in full force today for the game in Baltimore. Gooooooood. Again. It was a sea of black-n-gold in Canton today as Steeler Nation turned out to welcome Rod Woodson into the Hall Of Fame. Gooooood. Dumbass. Good Riddance.

I Called This One

Steelers Sign Hartwig. Interesting. I like it. I like the price. Not sure if I like the hair. Ben has to be getting tired of learning the nuances of everyone's snap. I forget what Mahan is getting paid. Not sure they'll keep him around for guard duty - we'll see. At least he's a body for camp. Maybe he'll be better at guard, who knows. At least they don't have to draft a center now. Who did we draft the year Mangold came out? I can't remember drafts too well. Was that just last year?

Dan, Dan, He's Our Man

Cedric the Entertainer? How about Cedric the Contender? I'm curious to see who will pick him up after this. Remember people couldn't wait to sign Bam Morris once we dumped him for his troubles in the trunk. I'm sure they put Ced on a short rope after the last incident. It's probably what's helping Silverback keep his job - first offense, still alleged from what I understand. Cedric just rolled into a bar, popped her, and ran (like a girl). What on Earth can be going through his tiny head? I make millions of dollars to barely play ball for the greatest franchise in sports.....I think I'll f*@& it all up by punching my ex-girlfriend in a public place in front of witnesses. It's like the old Sesame Street bit.....DUMB.......ASS..........DUMBASS. I wonder if there is any evidence that male athletes have a higher instance of domestic violence? Steroids? Who knows. The Rooney's have worked a lifetime to give the town and team a clean image. We don't need to be compared to the Bengals. We just don't. Stop it. I'm glad Dan Rooney came out and said something publicly. I don't have the quote in front of me but he said "you can't go around punching women". Word.

Pilot, Doctor...Teacher?

Thinking of a profession where you can have sex with members of the opposite sex less than half your age........become a teacher! Oh....the.....birds and bees and the thing between your knees...la la la la laaaaaaaaa........

It Also Helps You Get Back In The News...

...when you haven't had a relevant record in well over ten years. In other news, the sun will rise and set today.

Pickled Tink

Nice to see Kellie Pickler again. There is something very likable about her. I think she reminds me of where I grew up. Do you think she even got Ryan's joke about "growing in so many ways"? Damn, I'm glad we're done listening to The Beatles and Amanda Le Pew. I've had it with her. For guys that want their women to be able to outdrink them and then kick their ass, she was for them. What was Carly doing in the bottom three? The only thing I can think of is that people assumed she was safe so they voted for other people last night. I have a sneaking suspicion that she won't be in the bottom three next week based on this theory.

Can We Be Done With The Beatles?

I was never really a huge fan anyway. Sure, I appreciate what they did, but I don't own one LP, cassette, cd or mp3 unless you count the Peter Frampton & Bee Gee's ripoff of Sgt. Pepper LP which hasn't been spun since 1985. Two weeks of nothing but their songs is enough for me.....actually, one was. On to the list which is only for last night's performances:

01. David Cook - I guess I'm not the only one who thinks he can be smug at times. I still like his voice though.
02. Carly Smithson - I dug it
03. David Archuleta - A little boring, but good.
04. Syesha - Needs to pick better songs.
05. Brooke - Wouldn't you like to hear her curse?
06. Kristi Lee Cook - Please stop dancing. She looks so uncomfortable when she moves away from the mic.
07. Jason Castro - Meh.
08. Chikezie - The most inconsistent performer. Great one week and "WHAT?" the next.
09. Michael Johns - One of my early favorites. That was bad, dude.
10. Ramiele - I was half sleeping through this....literally.
11. Amanda - who will remain at the bottom of my list until she's voted off.

Advertise C's For More Dating

I'm sure Still A Dog would not object to this being given away on Craigslist for free. Heck, he'll be right over to pick it up. Geez lady, what are you thinking? What better way to open yourself up for some freaking whack job! He emails you posing as a woman, sets a time to pick up the item and then who knows what? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Throw the damn thing away or sell it on Ebay where you can ship it out.

Slanted #58

Parenting 101

So we went out for a fun Saturday evening last night. We were going to see Martin Lawrence, Raven and Brenda Song in College Road Trip and we thought we'd grab a little Chinese before the show. We went to a pretty nice Chinese/Japanese place that we've never been to before. It's a little different because it's not your typical strip mall joint. It's a big place with a ton of seating and the chairs are all highbacks. When we walked in there was a big table of guests already eating - they must have had twenty people at their table. Lots of couples and young kids. For whatever reason, the parents thought it was Ok to simply allow their kids to walk around between the tables while they followed a few steps behind. Constantly. It was like you weren't normal at that table unless you allowed your kid to walk around the place. Everyone was yelling as well since the table was huge. Ugh. All I wanted to do was get my sushi on in peace. It seemed like they were a big group that hadn't seen each other in a while. After they were done eating, they decided to hang around so they could annoy everyone else some more. My wife noticed one of the little guys was standing on his highback holding onto the back. Nice. Well, before you knew it, there was a loud smacking sound followed by a wail and gasps. The gasps stopped pretty quickly and the loud conversation continued as the dad walked the screaming kid outside. He couldn't have been 15 months old. To the table, it was like someone dropped a fork. He hit hard. We all looked towards the sound before the crying started. What a bunch of idiots. Oh well. The movie was enjoyable as all three of us like Martin Lawrence. We love the Big Momma series and I (of course) love his filthy stand up material. Funny that the entire movie was about parenting. After the movie we went to the mall where a group of 14-16 year old girls were walking hand-in-hand screaming like they were at a highschool football game. Too bad their parents weren't with them. I gotta tell ya, I was a little sarcastic smartass who loved tweaking people and making people laugh and I don't think I ever once used my outside voice in the mall or any other inside place. You know why? Because I was conditioned not to. Sometimes it's not so bad going to the mall with your kids because there are some valuable lessons to learn.....like "when you're old enough to come here with your friends, I better never....NEVER.....hear of behavior like that from someone who sees you.....and we know a lot of people in our town!". That being said, she learned not to act like that eons ago.

McFadden Must Want McPaid

Looks like the most hated agent in the NFL got his grubby little hands on McFadden. How much money does he think he's worth? How many games has he even started?

"Oh...Oh...Oh....." (Silence)

This poor guy. I often wonder when you "invent" something for another company at this level if it makes you filthy rich? Usually inventions belong to the company at which you work. Maybe he had the idea and they bought it from him or employed him. It may even say in the article, I just didn't really care enough to read it. I was too busy wondering if his lips formed a little "O" after his soul left his body. If you think about it, dude didn't really invent anything. In my opinion, he didn't even improve on an existing item. So what, he looped pasta. I bet the production costs are higher for loops than for straight originals. Although, it's tough to fit originals in a can, I'll give you that. I think it said he was German. The Italians must be pissed at him for that. It's not like an Italian took the casing off of a 'wurst and rolled it out flat in order to make a "new" product. My daughter is eight and if you said "Uh-Oh Spaghetti-Os" to her she'd look at you like you had six eyeballs. Campbell's had commercials on all the time when I was a youngster. What happened there? Maybe that canned crap was more prevalent back then? All I know is, the ravioli used to be really good at room temperature after drinking all night.

Slanted Simon Says - Good Choice!

After personally ranking him 3rd and 2nd the last two weeks competing against men only, I dropped this pretty boy poser to 9th this week but easily could have had him as 11th as well. The three in the bottom up for elimination I had at 6, 9 and 11. I thought it was weird that all three judges said it was the right group. I thought Syesha was a glaring exception. Oh well. Now that votefortheworst.com is backing Amanda, she may be around for a while. I also read a news link that said someone in her home state is shopping nude photos of her to the National Inquirer. Is there anyone out there under 25 who isn't naked on the internet? I don't remember kids under 25 getting naked and taking photos of themselves before the proliferation of the internet. Why people do it now is beyond me. I'm not complaining, cause I'll google that shit all night out of curiosity, but I don't understand their choices.

Should We Be Looking At This Guy?

Panthers center Justin Hartwig was released this week after being injured in 2006 giving way to his heir apparent who was drafted in the second round of 2007 as a hedge against Hartwig still being injured. Hartwig started 15 of 16 games last year but the Panthers are going with the youngster after giving Hartwig a $17 million dollar deal for 5 years following the 2005 season. I'm just sayin'. I hope our scouts are currently looking at him to see if we could maybe get a few years out of him at a decent price. Christ, he has to be better than Sean Mahan.

Steelers Sly Move

The Steelers signed Keyaron Fox to a one year deal today to apparently be a backup LB and Special Teamer. He was a third round pick in 2004. I'm assuming there is no guarantee he'll even make the team, but I like what I see when I look at his profile. Since he's backing up, I wonder if he can play both inside and out?

Another Hidden Gem

I have nothing to say about this story other than there is a hidden gem in it. Ready....GO! Thanks to reader Kevin, who is not regular poster Kevin (More Cowbell). I think Cowbell needs to sign up for Still More, but who am I to judge. The hidden gem is so appropriate for this article that I almost pooped myself when I read it. I want to know what proof they have that it's been that long? Did they carbon date her?

Slanted Simon Says - 12 To 11

You know, David Archuleta has reminded me of someone since I first saw him on the show. I think it's the dude that plays "Monk" on TV, formerly of Wings. What do you think? Anyway, here are my rankings based only on last night's show:

01. David Cook Tight. Last note was freaking sick.
02. Carly Smithson At times she looks good, at others she reminds me of a scary Halloween mask.
03. Chikezie Kicked ass last night.
04. Brooke White I'm telling you, she gets better every week.
05. Michael Johns Tailing off the last few weeks.
06. Syesha - Steady as she goes.
07. Rameile - Boring, but no mistakes.
08. David Archuleta - I said it was his worst offering right before Simon said it.
09. David Hernandez - Needs to get over himself.
10. Jason Dreads - I don't get him at all.
11. Kristie Lee Cook - Wow. I felt bad for her. I like her. She SUCKED last night.
12. Amanda Le Pew - Can we please be done with her already?

Randy's Take

A decent interview with Randy Jackson. I still remember him with that big hair from his Journey days, and still, I think the first person that I ever heard call a girl "dude".

Logic Dictates

I need somebody to explain this to me. On one hand, Hilary Clinton's campaign is focusing very strongly on saying that Barack Obama does not have the proper experience to be President of the United States. On the other, she is going around saying together they would make a nice ticket, with him as the VP. Hmmmm. Usually, the criteria for being VP is that the person needs to be Presidential material. It's usually described as "one heart beat away from being President". If the man lacks the needed experience to answer that phone call at 3 AM - saying he should be VP is essentially admitting that logic is flawed. Speaking of experience, I also think it's a little more than naive to think the person sleeping with the President soaked up enough knowledge about the job to assume it's like she has eight years experience. Could Marilyn Monroe have run for President on that platform? Could Monica? Listen, put these two candidates in a steel cage match and let them hammer it out. Actually, she might win that fight. She scares me. Also, am I crazy or do you think Chelsea will also end up running in the future? The Bush family better get on the ball and produce another youngish candidate to oppose her. Billy?

SilverBack Mad

I haven't read this on a news site yet, but a few blogs have posted that James Harrison was hauled in last night for simple assault and criminal mischief. Seems like he had a confrontation with the lady in his life, broke down a door, destroyed a cell phone. I'm sure the major Steeler sites will be posting what happened shortly.

Wanted: Companionship

Wow. Some people are in serious need of companionship. Witness. My God. I can't imagine anyone cruising Craigslist for free items and stopping on this ad, dropping everything, and rushing out to go get free expired salad dressings. Do you need human contact so bad that you want to trade emails and meet a stranger just so you can give them salad dressing instead of just throwing it away? If she thinks it's still good enough to eat, why the french toast doesn't she just eat it? Gawd! If you do choose to go get it, don't let any of her 37 cats out when she opens the door to let you in. You also might want to rent and watch Misery before you go pick this up. I'm just sayin.....

Slanted Simon Says Week 3 Recap

I continue to swing and miss on the ladies. I actually had Asia'h at number 4 for the week. Everything else pretty much followed suit. In reality there aren't that many people that can win the whole shebang. I think the possible winners are limited to David Archuleta, David Cook, David Hernandez & Carly. On a completely different note: What is Paula Abdul smoking? She is sometimes the most entertaining part of the show. And why bother to tell contestants 13-16 that their careers are just beginning and they are going to be "stars"? This is season 7. Where are contestants 13-16 from seasons 1-6? Hmmmmm.

Slanted Simon Says: Ladies Week 3

I wasn't as impressed with the ladies tonight. While I still think Carly has a better voice than Syesha, I think Syesha gave a better performance tonight. My rankings based solely on tonight's acts:
01. Syesha
02. Carly - Is it me, or does she look like Steve Perry got stung by a bee on his face?
03. Brook - I am coming around on her. I loved the rendition of Love Is A Battlefield. Sometimes, when I'm alone in the dark, and kind of lonely and scared - I see that skuzzy guy in the white suit from that video, with his upside down smile, and the one gold tooth.....shudder...
04. Asia - Needs to do something to stand out
05. Romiele - Ditto
06. Kristi Lee Cook - Love that song, missed the last note terribly.
07. Amanda - Love that song even more as I LOVE Joan Jett. Here's my deal though....she is a one-trick pony and every song and every dance move looks the same to me. Why the judges flipped out over this song and none of the others is simple - the producers told them to get her into the finals so there isn't so much "Meh" at the bottom of the pack. Bank On It. That was the old Jedi Mind Trick at work if I ever saw it.
08. Kady - See ya! Only thing that could save her is the vote of horny little boys (and we shouldn't discount their voting power).

The Long Winded

During my recent lovefest with business books, specifically ones that can be categorized under economics, I've been giving good word-of-mouth to almost everything I've read - Freakonomics, The Tipping Point, Blink, Made To Stick, The Economic Naturalist. I followed some recommendations online which lead me to The Long Tail, which is pretty ironic since The Long Tail discusses recommendations online at great length. I just finished it last night and it took me forever to read because I just couldn't get into it. I started a new book last night when I finished The Long Tail and to compare my enthusiasm for it, I'm already on page 68. When I am interested in something, I'll get through it very quickly. My issue with The Long Tail is simple - it didn't need to be a book. It started as an article in Wired, which I subscribe to and enjoy, and it should have stayed that way. We get it. The hits are the head, everything else is the tail. With the advent of the internet and unlimited virtual shelf space - the tail never ends. If you add up all the sales of the tail items - it can be a significant chunk of the entire pie. That about sums it up. Anderson dissects buying music, books and dvds online as they exemplify the Long Tail perfectly. I just felt like the same examples were used over and over to the point where I wanted to just turn pages without reading them, which is really weird for me when dealing with newer books on subjects like this. I think I can sum up why I feel the way I do about the book like this: I've been online since 1994 and I've been net shopping since the beginning. A lot of topics in the book have been lunch topic material for me and my friends for a long time. I guess if you "get" the concepts in the book or already accept them - there isn't much more to gain from reading it. However, if you are new to this arena or interested in learning more about how items are chosen for distribution through places like Wal-Mart....pick it up. It's not a bad book at all and I don't want to give that impression, in fact he has great quotes from a ton of bigtime net players on the jacket, it's just that if you already accept the theory of TLT and understand it and the possibilities that come from it, you aren't going to gain a ton of new info from it.

Slanted Simon Says - Men Week 3

I was entertained last night. David Cook's rendition of "Hello" totally rocked. I would buy that in 2 seconds if it were availble. I may download the video from iTunes and rip the audio from it. I always thought for my garage band that we should take a song like that and completely rock it. Here are my rankings for this week only:

01. David Cook - my only comment about him is that he could definitely be more humble. I remember when he sang for the judges at the original audition - he was my early favorite.
02. David Archuleta - he seems like a 30 year old in a little kid's body.
03. David Hernandez - he's really good as well, but not my style.
04. Michael Johns - I keep seeing him as the guy who dances around singing The Safety Dance. He needs to get back to rocking it.
05. Jason Dreds - I didn't get it, but whatever, the judges dug it.
06. Danny Noriega - Nice rendition of the Soft Cell classic. Randy called Cook "Emo"ish but come on - no he's not! Danny is "Emo" if anyone is. He's got enough attitude to pull off punk.
07. Chikezie - sorry man, didn't feel it at all
08. Luke - Wham? Wham? It's time for you to "go go".

Adios, Brett

You know how when somebody mentions a specific play you remember - you can bring it up in your mind? It's almost like your memory recorded it and you're playing it back DVR style. Watch enough football games over the years and all those memories start to overlap. It's like your brain is a 80gig drive and you really need half a terra. Dan Marino used to be my favorite player who didn't wear the black-n-gold. That changed one day as I watched Brett Favre play. He made any game I was watching interesting.....and fun. As an NFL Ticket subscriber, after the 1:00 PM Pittsburgh game ends, all I can hope for is that Green bay plays at 4:15 so I can watch Brett play. I've seen so many crazy Favre plays that if pressed, I probably couldn't describe any of them to you. They're all scrambled together like green and yellow eggs covered with Wisconsin cheese. The face of Favre included here, however, is the one that will continue to pop into my head any time anyone ever mentions him again. After that TD pass against the Patriots in the Super Bowl - when he ran around with that smile on celebrating - how couldn't you be happy for him? Today is not the day to question his legacy - as Dr. Z from Sports Illustrated did. Today is the day to say "Thanks, Brett" for all the exciting games he gave me to watch after my team had played for the day. Dr. Z went off on his interceptions and claimed he could have been much greater. Every player could have maybe been greater. I wonder if he's aware who the all time leader is in fewest interceptions per passes attempted? Neil O'Donnel. Yup. Look it up. As a Steeler fan, sometimes I would have preferred O'Donnel to show some heart and faith and cut loose instead of going down in a fetal position untouched. If Brett played by the book, he wouldn't have been Brett. If Brett didn't try to win those games by himself 5-6 years ago when he was the entire team, they may not have won any games. To me, he's always seemed like one of those crazy artists once on the field. Don't question him - just enjoy his work. I'm going to miss watching him play and I rarely say that about people, especially non Steelers.

Steelers Ink Mewelde Moore

Mewelde Moore becomes the next person to try returning punts and kicks for the team. He's young (25) and is a solid 209. Can't remember much about his speed, but he has averaged close to 5 yards per carry for his career, but I'm guessing more than a few of those runs came on 3rd and long as he has a lot of catches and must be in on 3rd downs a lot. He also has tackles listed on his stats so he must be a special teamer in both directions. I'm sure this is also a little protection against Willie Parker injuries as Moore started for a period as a Viking. A typical Steeler free agent signing - nothing fancy, but fills a need.....plus, Moore for Rossum gets the team younger.

Do I LIke The Contract?

Instead of me typing it out again, cruise on over to The Burgh Blog to see my comments.

Also, Her Broom "speaks" To Her

Hilary Clinton announced today that she still has momentum - despite losing 11 primaries in a row. Ah, yeah, OK, who am I to judge? In a candid interview, Hilary also verbalized the following items: there aren't enough reality shows on television, Rosie O'Donnel looks superb three years into her diet, the Arizona Cardinals have all the momentum heading into this year's football season, the Cubbies will win the World Series, Huckabee will most assuredly come back to unseat McCain, Osama Bin Laden will be caught within the next week, we have a BigFoot carcass hidden in a warehouse in Roswell.......oh this is boring. I quit.

Ben Signed

Here it is. $105 for 6 with $36 million guaranteed. That's in addition to his 2 years remaining so in reality, they are making up these next 2 years with the HUGE bonus. So, it's not really 6 for $105, it's more like 8 for $110.

Eddie Van Halen Up To Old Tricks?

I recently got an email report from a good friend of mine in Florida who went to see Van Halen in concert. Even though Eddie is his idol and he is a shredder himself, he said he was surprised at the sloppy playing thoughout the concert. I went to the 3rd show on the tour way back in the fall and he was on his game then. I took "Still In Rio"'s opinion to heart as he would know better than anyone how the playing was. He's seen Eddie live numerous times and has been playing his riffs since he was in Jr. High. I was kind of hoping maybe it was a one-time bad performance, but then I read this. Wow. I have another good friend who has tickets in March to see them in Hershey. He is going to be pissed if they cancel.

Wah! I Can't Manage My Own Money!

Ok, this really annoys me. I don't know about you, but I just sucked down a bottle of Black-N-Blue wine from Glades Pike Winery made of blackberries and blueberries, no grapes. And that's not why I'm in a sour mood. I'm pissy because of articles like the above. How dare these people? I mean, how dare they? When something is your fault, you do not go on the offensive. You sit back, wait, and act appreciative when somebody gives you a handout - not demand more and more. I can't stand it that so many people want to blame the companies that gave them mortgages. You know what? Had those companies not given the loans, some would have cried discrimination of some sort...racial, sexual, religious....something. These saps don't want the government to intervene in any aspect of their lives until they need bailed out. Then they can't wait. Can you imagine going to a CEO's house and throwing plastic sharks on his lawn? He didn't come to your house and throw a plastic dunce's hat on your lawn. And yeah, maybe I'm being too simplistic here, but I'm a little tipsy. I read in Money magazine yesterday that when the bailouts go through, the average homeowner who either stays in their house with the bailout or gets out from under their house with it, will only lose between $5000 - $7000 dollars. I got news for ya, how about us poor bastards that buy a house we can afford with a real down payment and a real fixed mortgage? How about us poor bastards that manage to save money and invest it in our Roth IRAs and our 401(k) plans? How about us poor bastards that started saving for our children's college fund before they could talk? You know how much money I lost in the Stock Market in the last year? Who the bleep is helping me out? $7K? I'd give my left nut to have only lost $7K in the last year (not really....I just said that for emphasis....maybe I would give up my iPod, I've grown fond of my left nut and I'd like to keep it). You know what else? The market is tanking BECAUSE of consumer confidence.....you know why? Because of all the freaking foreclosures! I'm indirectly losing money because these idiots don't understand the loans they are purchasing and now they are getting help and I'm left with looking at charts of my finances that look like the Cliffs of Dover. What the french toast is that all about? Seriously? What the French Toast?

Ben is Going To Get P-A-I-D

Big Ben Roethlisberger should drive over to Derek Anderson's place and give him a big 'ole Big Ben Hug. Anderson, more than Carson Palmer a year or two ago, just made Big Ben richer in my estimation. Why the Steelers are waiting any longer to ink him to his extension is beyond me. Whatever they were talking about before Anderson signed probably just got ripped up and thrown in the trash. Anderson's new deal is worth $24-$26 million over 3 years with $13.5 mil guaranteed. Lord help us. Big Ben was probably looking at Palmer's deal averaging about $10 per year as a starting point. However, if somebody who has played in 21 games and has a career QB rating of 78.9 is worth $8 mil a year, doesn't that jump the value of a franchise QB thru the roof? Anderson had a good year (for a Cleveland QB) by having 29 TDs and 19 picks. Ben this year threw 32 TDs and only had 11 picks in one fewer start. Ben's career QB rating is 92.5 and that includes his sucky 2006. Oh yeah, his sucky 2006 rated only 4 points lower than Anderson's "good" season. Why are the Browns all over this guy like Rosie O'Donnel on waffles? I can't figure it out. We've all seen 1-hit wonders in the NFL at this position. Remember when Scott Mitchell lit it up for the Dolphins when Danny Boy was hurt and then Detroit overpaid him? The Browns simply signed Anderson as PR move. If Quinn can't play at this level they would have been the laughing stock for letting him go. If he continues to play at his 2007 level, they wasted the Quinn pick as far as getting immediate help goes. What on Earth are the Stillers going to have to give Ben in guaranteed money? It may be the biggest contract the NFL has ever seen since he's the first franchise QB to come due since Palmer. I'm glad we have him, but I know I'm going to wince at that check.